by Maryam Diaab
“That’s wonderful, Terrence,” I responded half-heartedly, throwing him a fake smile. “You’ll have to get me a copy of the pictures. I would love to see that,” I lied.
“Oh, don’t worry, I will,” he said, handing me a glass. He returned to stirring his gumbo, causing more of the delicious aroma to fill the air. “Now you tell me about your day.”
“I got a promotion,” I said, after nervously downing my wine in one gulp.
“What! That is excellent news, Yvette! So I guess we have two things to celebrate tonight. What are you going to be doing? When will you start?”
“They moved me up to assistant principal, and I start the Monday after next.”
“What happened to Yost? Did she quit or something?” he asked, referring to the AP at Detroit Prep. I was absolutely shocked that he even remembered her name.
“No, no…she didn’t quit. I won’t be at Detroit Prep. They…they placed me at another school,” I stuttered.
“Which one?” he asked, a genuine smile spreading across his face, making me feel slightly guilty about what I was about to announce.
I looked at how happy he seemed to be for me and felt a tug at my heart. I wanted to change my mind, but I couldn’t. I wanted this position, and I wanted room to breathe to make sure that marrying Terrence wasn’t a mistake that would last a lifetime. “I’ll be at Nashville Prep.”
Terrence
4
Yvette’s pouty lips were moving but her words were not registering. Her honey-hued face was flushed and she was smiling widely, so I knew she had to be excited about something. Her green eyes sparkled, her arms were flapping, and the slight dimple in her chin faded in and out as her words tumbled out.
As I watched her, I became more and more annoyed. A lot of what Yvette did annoyed me—like the way she sang Luther in the shower and the way she would only drink her milk with three squirts of Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup. At first, I wanted to wring her neck every time she reached for that brown bottle, but now I suppose I’ve gotten used to it. I even buy the mega-pack at Sam’s Club just to make sure we never run out. Twelve years of repetitiveness in a relationship will do that to you. The same thing, the same conversations over and over again is enough to drive anyone insane.
“Did you hear me, Terrence? I said that I have to move.”
“Move where? Is the school that far away?”
Her mouth started moving again, but I could not concentrate on a word she was saying, not with the way she was downing glass after glass of wine. I was almost guaranteed to get some tonight, because when she gets tipsy, the freak comes out.
I’ll admit it. When it comes to beautiful women and sex, I’m weak. I have no self-control, and because I lack that specific, extremely important relationship skill, I almost ruined what Yvette and I have by sleeping with someone not half as fine as she.
“…over five hundred miles away!” Her words finally began to penetrate my thoughts, but I was still distracted.
“What’s over five hundred miles away?” My eyes traveled the length of her tall, lean frame, undressing her, my gaze lingering on her full breasts. I imagined undressing her right there in the kitchen. Or better yet, just pushing her skirt up around her waist and fucking her brains out right there on the kitchen counter. I hoped she was wearing a thong.
“The school, Terrence! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Where did you say the school is again?” I knew I sounded ridiculous, but I couldn’t concentrate. My dick was expanding just thinking about all the freaky things we would be doing in a few hours.
“Nashville, Tennessee. You know, south of the Mason-Dixon Line?”
I shook my head to clear my mind and blinked several times. The spread-eagled fantasy Yvette disappeared from my thoughts, and I finally understood what she had been trying to tell me. “Are you serious? You’re moving to Nashville?”
“I just found out today.”
I stared at her for a while, trying to process what she’d just said. “So you’re just going to leave me here all by myself six months before our wedding? And after everything that’s happened between us?” I was slowly becoming angry, and I had every right to be. The tingle in my dick diminished, and heat transferred to my head.
“This is the promotion I have been waiting for, Terrence. This doesn’t mean the end of our relationship. We can do the long-distance thing, and the time apart will give us the space we need to make sure we’re doing the right thing,” she rationalized.
“The long distance thing? Are you crazy? You’re just asking for disaster, Yvette. In our last session, Dr. Jop said that our relationship is still very fragile.”
“So are you trying to tell me that if I leave you’ll cheat? You really can’t control yourself, can you?” Yvette stood and folded her arms across her ample chest. Her eyes flashed, and her mouth tightened.
I did come across untrustworthy, but my concerns were valid. Since Yvette and I had been working on our problems, I had been trying very hard to be an angel, but who was to say that if she wasn’t around breathing down my neck every second of the day I wouldn’t backslide?
“I didn’t mean it to sound like that, but Yvette, I’m concerned.”
“You’ll be okay, baby. I’m sure of it,” she said softly, although her glare was as fierce as ever.
“But what about the wedding and after we get married? What then? Will we have a long-distance marriage, too?”
“I can plan the wedding from Nashville; Wendy will help me. Let’s cross the marriage bridge when we get to it, okay? And who’s to say that you won’t find a job in Nashville? They do have hospitals.”
“Why would you apply for this position without even telling me? I thought we were a team,” I said, almost not recognizing Yvette. The fiancée I thought I knew would never just abandon me like this, not without at least discussing it with me first.
“Terrence, I applied for the position after you slept with that slut,” she retorted, her voice hard, uncompromising. “I didn’t think we would be getting back together, and when we did, I forgot about it, okay?” she continued, her eyes flashing. “I remembered when Mr. Cochran announced it in the staff meeting.”
Damn! This was my fault, but the fact that she’d forgotten about it gave me a glimmer of hope. “So you haven’t accepted it yet. There’s still time to say no.”
Yvette walked over and wrapped her arms around my neck, although I could still feel her anger. “Terrence, I don’t want to say no. I want this job, and I want you to support me.”
“I am all for you being happy and fulfilling your dreams, but I really don’t see why you can’t do that right here in Detroit.”
“Right now, there aren’t any opportunities here. As soon as something opens up here in the city, I’ll be on the first thing smoking out of Nashville. I promise.”
“And what if nothing here becomes available? We’re going to have phone sex for the rest of our lives!” I wailed, sounding more like a horny teenager than a grown man.
“As I said before, let’s deal with some problems as they present themselves. And as far as the phone-sex thing goes, I can make trips to Detroit every weekend if the need arises. And of course, you can visit me. Terrence, I really don’t believe that this arrangement will be as bad as you think.”
“No, it will be worse.”
Yvette rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’re not acting your age right now, Terrence. This is a wonderful opportunity for me, and the least you could do is be happy.”
We sat there in the kitchen, picking at the gumbo, sipping wine, and staring at each other for a long time. I was thinking about all the pretty young things that would cross my path, tempting me when Yvette leaves and how much sleep I would miss trying to fend them off. There was this new X-ray technician who had been giving me some very seductive looks lately…
“Terrence, what are you thinking?” Yvette asked softly. As for me, I was mentally having sex with the new girl on o
ne of her X-Ray machines. Legs parted, ankles up…
I shook my head to rid myself of the image. Sometimes I didn’t know what was wrong with me. “How much I’m going to miss you. I know I’m not going to be able to sleep at night without you next to me,” I lied.
“They say absence makes the heart grow fonder,” she said, pressing her face against my neck. Her minty-fresh breath tickled my skin and succeeded in sending my fantasy from X-ray machines to Yvette bending over in a sexy red-and-white nurse’s costume.
“I think we should make a commitment to stay true to each other no matter what happens or how far apart we are,” I suggested, sounding completely out of character. But in all honesty, I was a bit insecure. Yvette was stunning, educated and had a great personality. And while I didn’t consider myself too shabby, she could easily have any man she wanted. Living in Nashville would be the perfect opportunity for her to pay me back for my past indiscretions.
“I completely agree. Just because I’ll be there and you will be here doesn’t mean anything should change. We are still getting married in April; everything will be fine.”
“And how can you be sure of that?” I asked.
“Terrence, what is this really about? Are you worried about me meeting someone else?”
“Why would you ask that? Are you planning to go down there and get with someone?”
“Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous. I am not a teenager. I can control my hormones.”
“Then why even mention it?” I asked, ignoring her intentional jab at my lack of self-control.
“Because I’m trying to figure out why you’re acting this way!”
“You’re my woman and I want you with me. Is that so crazy? I can’t believe you’re about to leave…” I couldn’t finish my sentence, because I was amazed at her ability to see right through me. It was as if she could read my mind. I didn’t appreciate it.
“I’m sorry, baby, but this is just something I have to do for me. You don’t want me to stay here and end up resenting you for it in a few years, do you?”
“No, no,” I quickly responded. “You have to do what you have to do, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be concerned.”
“Terrence, the only thing that will change between us is our proximity.”
She said the words and I wanted to believe her, but in the pit of my stomach, I had the sickening feeling that no good would come of this.
Yvette
5
“If this dress fits any differently, then we are going to have a serious problem,” Wendy said to me from behind the pink curtain at the Bridal Boutique. This was the third fitting she had endured; I wanted to make sure her dress fit perfectly. I did not want her standing next to me in some frumpy, ill-fitting gown.
“It’ll fit fine,” I said, being optimistic. “I have something to tell you.”
Wendy came out of the dressing room and stepped up on the pedestal. She looked amazing in the red full-length gown. But Wendy, with her clear, coffee-colored skin, bright onyx eyes and perfectly coifed, jet-black hair falling just above her shoulders, would look amazing in a pair of wrinkled sweats.
“What do you think?” she asked, doing what she did best—admiring herself in the mirror.
“I think it’s perfect, but did you hear what I said? I have something to tell you.”
“Okay, let’s hear it,” Wendy said, checking out her reflection in the mirror from all possible angles.
“I’m moving to Nashville later this week.” I watched the mirror and Wendy’s reflection as her eyes bulged and her mouth fell open. As a television news anchor in the city of Detroit, not a lot of things surprised her, but she was completely stunned by the news I’d just dropped. “I accepted an assistant principal position at Nashville Prep, and the job begins almost immediately.”
“You didn’t tell me that you were applying for any position in Nashville,” Wendy said, turning away from the mirror and looking directly at me.
“I put my name in the administration-relocation pool after Terrence and I broke up, and I simply forgot about it after we reconciled. Mr. Cochran made the announcement yesterday at the staff meeting. I was totally surprised.”
“You mean to tell me that you forgot about applying for a job in another state?” Wendy asked.
“Yes, that’s what I’m telling you,” I said, becoming a bit defensive.
“And you still accepted the job with a week’s notice and your wedding, here in Detroit, only six months away? That is so typical, Yvette.” Wendy stepped away from the mirror and entered the dressing room again to remove her gown.
“What’s so typical?” I wondered, confused by the point she was trying to make.
“Always doing what people expect you to do. Your supervisor expected you to accept the job even though it’s hundreds of miles away and your life is here. You’ve always been like that, Yvette; you can’t help it, so why even try? It’s actually one of the things that I love most about you, always trying to please.”
“I do not always do what other people expect of me!”
“Yes, you do. I can list several times when you didn’t do what you wanted because it went against your grandmother’s grain. I’m only telling you this because you’re my girl and I want you to be happy.”
“Happy, schmappy.” I laughed. “You think you know everything. What have I done only because people expected me to?” I was a little nervous about challenging her. Wendy and I had been friends since high school and, at times, I thought she knew me better than I knew myself.
“First of all, you went to Wayne State for college because it was what your grandmother wanted instead of going to a historically black college as you had been planning.”
She had a point. It had always been my dream to attend an HBCU. I applied to Howard in Washington D.C., Tuskegee Institute and even Florida A&M, but when my grandmother found out my plans she was devastated. She told me that she had always envisioned that I would remain in Detroit, attend college, and live in her home. I couldn’t bear to upset or disappoint her; after all, she had sacrificed to raise me after my mother took off. I didn’t want to hurt her.
“Fine, what else?” I asked Wendy.
“One word: Terrence.”
“What do you mean, Terrence?”
“Terrence was not your first choice. Remember Corey and how in love the two of you were?” Wendy came out of the dressing room wearing black slacks and a winter-white wrap around sweater. She would never be caught dead in jeans, not even on weekends.
Of course I remembered Corey, and as usual Wendy was right—we were very much in love. “Corey was high school and Terrence was college. There is a huge difference.”
“The only difference is that Corey was broke, and Terrence comes from money. Corey wanted to be a writer, and Terrence wanted to be a doctor. Nobody expected you to continue things with Corey after graduation, and you didn’t even though you both still loved each other. He has a new book out you know, an Essence bestseller.”
I knew. I had followed Corey’s literary career for years. He had become a success, just as he said he would. “I did not break things off with him because he wanted to be a writer or because that was what people expected me to do. Corey and I broke up because we grew apart. We ultimately wanted very different things,” I said stoutly, trying to convince her.
“And your decision had absolutely nothing to do with your grandmother saying that she always dreamed of you marrying someone who was successful, someone who would allow you to stay home and be a housewife?”
“Let’s just drop it, okay?”
“What about your mother?”
I glared at her. My mother was a very touchy subject. Untouchable, actually. Completely off limits, even for my best friend.
“Your grandmother didn’t want you to have anything to do with her, so you don’t.”
“Now that is not true. Who do you think paid for my mother’s three stints in rehab? Who do you think pays the mortgage on her hous
e?”
“Just because you throw money at her doesn’t mean she’s in your life. Do you call her? Does she even know you’re about to get married?”
“I didn’t come here to talk about her,” I snapped before she could give me a look that said she made her case. “I’m moving, and it’s not because it’s what anyone expects me to do. If anything it’s the complete opposite. Are you forgetting the fact that the man cheated on me? I think it’s fair that I take some time and get my head together. You and Terrence expect me to stay here and continue being his trophy.”
“That’s what you consider yourself? Terrence’s trophy?”
“Maybe that came out wrong,” I said, trying to clean up my comment. “I was simply saying that there are things that I want to do for me.”
“How does Terrence feel about all this?”
“He’s fine,” I lied. “He was a little concerned at first, but we’ve made a commitment to each other. We will still be getting married, and everything will be fine.”
“So you’re going to leave Terrence alone, by himself? Aren’t you just the slightest bit concerned that he will find someone else to occupy his time?”
“Yes, I am. But if that’s what Terrence needs to do, then good, go ahead. I’ll really have a reason not to trust him anymore. Terrence is an adult and is completely capable of controlling himself if he chooses to. And why are you getting so pissed? You’re my friend, not Terrence’s. You should be on my side.”
Wendy threw the curtain back, the dress draped over her arm, and we headed for the sales desk. “I am on your side,” she said. “I’m just concerned about the whole situation. You’re my best friend and I am looking out for your best interests. I only want you to be happy.”
* * *
Wendy
I have always had a thing for Terrence. Actually, I met him before Yvette did in Wayne State’s student center the first week of our freshman year. Yvette and I were sitting at a table flipping through our books and eating Taco Bell burritos and tostadas. Then I saw him.
