by Maryam Diaab
“But a thirty-four-year-old engaged woman, Ajani? What do you expect to gain from this relationship? Are you just seeing her for a good time?”
“She makes me happy, okay?” I said, feeling silly revealing something so personal to my overly macho father. “I want to be with her.”
“Do you honestly think she’s going to leave her fiancé for a twenty-one-year-old undergraduate student who can’t even pay his own rent without reaching into his father’s pockets once a month?” he asked skeptically.
“I really don’t know what’s going to happen with all this, but I think she’s the one and I just can’t let her go, not yet.”
My father stared at me for a long time, silently evaluating everything I’d just told him. “I worry about you, Ajani; you’re reckless. You remind me so much of your mother, following your heart and not your head,” he said finally, smiling at me slightly.
“I don’t know what to do, but I can’t stop now. My heart is too into what I’ve started.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing, Ajani,” my father said, taking the keys from his desk and handing them to me.
It took a couple of hours to drive from Memphis back to Nashville, and in that time I considered the possibility that I may have gone to all this trouble for nothing. What if Yvette wouldn’t agree to spend the weekend with me?
I felt like a stalker waiting outside Yvette’s school for her to leave for the day, but when I saw her exit the side door and walk toward her car, hair blowing in the wind, I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Is he gone?” I asked, pulling up to her as she was unlocking her car door.
“Don’t scare me like that!” she said, holding her hand to her heart. “I thought I was about to be robbed or something. You’re lucky I didn’t have a chance to pull out my mace.”
“This is Nashville, girl, not Detroit. Nobody around here is thinking about robbing you. Now, as I asked before, is he gone?”
“Yes, Terrence is gone.”
“Out of your life?” I asked hopefully.
“Out of Nashville, Ajani. What are you doing here?”
“I needed to talk to you, to ask you something, and I didn’t want to risk running into the good doctor. I may have to lay him out next time.”
“Well, what’s the question?” The way she smiled made me weak.
“Can you get in with me? It’s cold out here, and I want to roll up my windows.”
Yvette looked around before walking over to the passenger side of the car and sliding in next to me.
“Looking for someone?” I asked, moving several wisps of hair behind her ear.
“Just wanted to make sure the principal, Ms. Fisher, wasn’t out here spying on me. I think that woman works for the FBI or something.”
“Looks like the coast is clear,” I said, sliding my hand into hers. “How have you been?”
“Okay, I guess. I’m kind of tired, though. The job is starting to get to me, and these wedding preparations are driving me crazy…” she stopped, no doubt correctly guessing that her upcoming nuptials were the last thing I wanted to chat about.
“I miss you, Yvette,” I said, touching her cold cheek.
“I miss you, too, Ajani but I told you that last week.”
“So have you had enough space yet, or should I give you a couple more months?”
“Is that really what you came to ask me?”
“No, not exactly. I wanted to know if you’re available for a little getaway.”
Yvette hesitated before answering, but I knew her interest had been piqued. “Where would we be getting away to?”
“Alabama. Fresh country air might do you some good. Give you clarity.”
“Ajani, I am not a girl who camps,” she said, looking mortified, as if the idea of fishing and sleeping outside was unthinkable.
“I’m not talking about camping. We would have all the amenities—kitchen, television, Jacuzzi tub…”
“Sleeping arrangements?”
“Three bedrooms. You can pick your favorite, and I’ll sleep elsewhere.”
“I don’t know, Ajani.”
“Yes, you do. When’s the last time Terrence has taken you anywhere?” I asked. She looked at me, and I knew I had her.
“I’ll leave work early. Pick me up Friday at noon.”
Terrence
20
I couldn’t help but stare at Wendy. Her low-cut, tight-fitting plum-colored halter begged for attention. She was gorgeous; I had to give her that. The way her caramel skin glistened, silky hair kissed her shoulders and sweet tongue wet her pouty lips, I wanted to forgo dinner and take her back to my place to do what we did best. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option.
This dinner had been Wendy’s idea, and after much poking and prodding, I grudgingly agreed. In my opinion, she just wanted us to play house while Yvette was away, pretending that we had a real relationship, that we were more than bed buddies.
Lately, she’d been acting jealous and clingy. She wanted to come first; she very obviously wanted to take Yvette’s place, and it was beginning to unnerve me. But with the threat of not having my piece of lovin’ on the side, I decided to quiet her concerns and made reservations for dinner.
An hour and a half ago, I greeted Wendy at her apartment door dressed in a suit and tie and cradling a dozen roses in my arm. I smiled at her reaction and had been smiling ever since until, in the middle of dinner, she began dropping hints that she knew where I was last weekend. With all the “I talked to Yvette today” crap, it was obvious that she knew something and wasn’t all that happy about it.
I didn’t want to lie to her, but I didn’t want to be honest, either, especially with the way she’d been acting lately. My going to Nashville and lying about it may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back, perhaps causing Wendy to let our little rendezvous “slip” during one of her long-distance conversations with Yvette. And I couldn’t have that, now, could I?
* * *
Wendy
I sat across from Terrence, trying to contain my anger. Nearly a week had passed since he had come back from Nashville, and he still hadn’t said a word about his trip. As a matter of fact, he probably thought I didn’t have a clue about his little surprise visit to Yvette.
“Wendy, what’s the problem?” Terrence asked, looking irritated.
I looked at him as I sipped my red wine. Things had been going so well between us, and I couldn’t decide whether to ruin what was supposed to be a romantic evening out.
“I’m just wondering if you are ever going to mention your trip to Nashville last weekend. Because if I’m not mistaken, you told me you were on call Friday through Sunday.”
Terrence placed the linen napkin in his lap and picked up a fork before answering me, most likely trying to come up with a plausible excuse as to why he had lied to my face. “Yes, I did visit Nashville last weekend, and yes, I did mislead you, but for a good reason.”
I folded my arms across my chest, ready to hear his “good” reason.
“I didn’t want you to become upset or think that my visiting Yvette would negatively affect what we have,” he explained, stuffing a heaping forkful of eggplant into his mouth.
“Oh, so you thought it would be better to lie to my face?” I spat out angrily.
“If you want to be honest about it, Wendy, it’s really none of your business where I go and whom I go there with. I’m engaged to Yvette, not you, remember?”
His harsh words cut me like a knife. I sat back in the leather chair and felt tears stinging my eyes. “Okay, Terrence, since you brought it up, what do I mean to you exactly?”
Terrence wiped his mouth carefully and looked me straight in the eye. “Wendy, I like you, I really do, but I’m getting ready to marry your best friend. We have fun together. Why can’t we just leave it at that?” Terrence asked, reaching across the table and caressing my hand, attempting to soften the blow.
“So that’s all I am? The good-time girl? I guess
I’m only good for a romp in the sack when Yvette’s away.”
“Wendy, don’t pull this shit with me. You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into. Now all of a sudden you want to be my one and only? You’re crazy!”
“I don’t expect to be your one and only, Terrence; I’m not that naïve. However, I do expect a certain level of respect from you, and your traipsing off to Nashville and lying about it is completely disrespectful.” I began to feel dizzy with anger. The restaurant began to spin, and an intense heat overtook my body, causing me to feel lightheaded. “And why did you just up and decide to run there, anyway? Did I do something that made you have to see Yvette?” My voice weakly floated across the table in just above a whisper. I gripped the sides of my chair to keep from sliding onto the floor.
“I went because I thought Yvette was cheating on me. I wanted to see what she was doing.”
Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Did you find what you were looking for?”
“The only thing I found was some college guy in her office doing an observation. I think I was just being paranoid…” Terrence stopped suddenly and looked at me. “Wendy, are you okay?”
I tried to sit up in my seat, but slumping down seemed to be a lot easier. “I’m fine. I’m just having some kind of anxiety attack or something. Probably all the stress you’re putting me through.”
“Drink some water. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
I sipped the ice-cold water and felt my temperature drop slightly.
“Our relationship is not supposed to be stressful, Wendy.”
“I know, I know. I’m fine, okay? Let’s just finish dinner and then you can take me home.”
“Are these attacks something you get often?” Terrence asked.
“Every once in a while. As I said before, it’s stress-related.” The truth was I’ve never had an anxiety attack, and although I had no idea what was happening to me, I was sure I wasn’t having one now. But if Terrence could lie, then so could I.
Yvette
21
I was thoroughly surprised when Ajani invited me to spend the weekend with him. After the run-in between him and Terrence I knew our separation was over, but I had not expected Ajani to invite me on a romantic getaway. But once I agreed to go for three days and two nights there was no telling what could happen, so I decided to make a much-needed trip to Vickie’s to update my lingerie wardrobe. Not that I was anticipating anything, but a girl could never be too prepared.
I was at Victoria’s Secret in Green Hills Mall, surrounded by pink silk and black lace, when Ajani’s ex-girlfriend, the little slut who ruined my jeans, sauntered in, the most evil smile I’d ever seen plastered on her face. She wore a pink TSU t-shirt that was three sizes too small and jeans that looked as if they’d been painted on.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” she said to her buck-toothed friend standing next to her. “Tisha, remember when I told you that Ajani began doing charity work for the old folks’ home?”
Her friend snickered as Lisa pointed to me.
“Can you believe Ajani brought this sweet little old lady to a Q party? I’m surprised you were able to stay awake ‘til the end,” she said, finally looking at me. “It’s so nice to see you again.”
“I think you know all too well that I’m not some charity case,” I retorted, narrowing my eyes in disgust.
“Well, if you don’t mind my asking, what is your relationship with Ajani exactly?”
“What business is it of yours?” I looked at her, one hand on my hip, the other holding a sexy red-and-black corset.
“Ajani and I have a history, and I don’t want anyone to think that this little separation we’re going through will last very long,” Lisa responded, smiling sweetly.
“I see. So what you’re trying to tell me is that you and Ajani are just on a break?”
“Exactly! You’re a quick learner, aren’t you?” Lisa said, clapping her hands twice. Her friend followed suit.
“Look, I’m not sure why you’re over here, but I have some shopping to do and I’m not one for engaging in childish games.”
“I just want to make it clear that Ajani is not available. He’s my man, I’m his woman and that’s just the way it is.” Lisa turned on her three-inch heels and strutted away.
Watching her walk away in her disgustingly tight getup, I wondered what Ajani had ever seen in her. “If you think that you and Ajani are still in some kind of relationship, I suggest you let him in on that little secret because he tells me otherwise.”
I returned the corset to the rack and picked up a fuchsia baby doll before Lisa turned around, her cute face contorted in anger.
“So you are seeing him?” she asked with the hiss of a python. “Don’t you think you’re a little old to be dating a twenty-one-year-old?” Lisa’s eyes zeroed in on my diamond engagement ring. “Did he give you that?” She pointed at the ring with a shaky index finger.
Smiling, I held up my left hand and admired the way the ring sparkled under the Victoria’s Secret lights. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
* * *
The two-hour ride to Pisgah, Alabama, had been a virtually silent one. Ajani seemed to be deep in thought, and I held my tongue about my run-in with Lisa earlier that day. We only spoke to comment on a song from his extensive CD collection or to ask if everything was okay.
Groceries were stacked on top of our luggage; firewood scented the entire truck, and wine bottles clanked as we drove over bumpy roads. From the moment I slid into Ajani’s Chevy Tahoe SUV I wasn’t sure I had made the right decision to accompany him this weekend. Being alone with Ajani at his father’s getaway retreat spelled trouble for me.
Finally, Ajani pulled off a rural road and into a community that was so beautiful and peaceful that it immediately made me forget all the stress that plagued me for the past few months. Each home, some cottages and others mansions, faced a sparkling river. The homes were in restful tones of white, tan, blue and yellow, each one surrounded by pine trees, their scent permeating the air.
Ajani pulled into the circular driveway of a large yellow-and-white three-story home.
“It’s beautiful,” I said, getting out and feeling the brisk fall wind whip my loose hair around my face.
“This house has everything,” Ajani said, searching for his keys in his coat pocket. He went to the back of the car and opened the hatch, pulling out bags of groceries. “Full kitchen, three bedrooms, fireplace, deck and, of course, the view.”
“This is really wonderful, Ajani,” I said, reveling in the crisp, clean air as we walked to the front porch. “Thank you so much for bringing me here.”
“I thought the atmosphere would be conducive to talking—putting all our feelings out on the table—and seeing where it takes us.”
We spent the afternoon unpacking, eating lunch and just talking. We were completely at ease with each other; it was as though we lived together and were accustomed to all those things that define a couple, that make two people have an instinctive rapport that binds them together. I liked the feeling, relished it, and was glad that I had agreed to come.
I had fully intended to tell Ajani exactly how I felt about everything—him, us, our budding relationship. But the thought made me nervous, and I needed to be in complete control for that. I decided to concentrate on the present and leave any such discussions for the future.
The hours passed almost unnoticed, and before Ajani and I knew it, dinner dishes had been washed, the TV volume turned down low, and darkness had fallen over the bluff. An extremely romantic mood fell as we relaxed on the couch, sipping champagne and wrapped in a red cashmere blanket. “Let’s go sit on the deck,” Ajani suggested, pulling my body close under the softness and warmth of the blanket.
“Ajani, the deck is cold. Why don’t we stay inside and build a fire?”
“We won’t be cold; we’ll keep each other warm,” he promised, kissing my lips gently and leading me out to the deck. I sat on
a comfortable chaise while he quickly built a fire in the stone fire pit. He then slipped under the blanket with me.
“See, this isn’t so bad, is it?” Ajani asked, wrapping his arms around my waist and nestling his head between my neck and shoulders. “Are you cold?”
“No, Ajani, I’m fine,” I whispered. I was better than fine; I was perfect lying there in Ajani’s arms by a fire and feeling as if I was falling in love.
“You’ll never guess who I ran into today,” I said, pressing my body closer to his.
“Who?”
“Lisa.”
Ajani groaned and shifted uncomfortably. “So how did that meeting go?”
“It went,” I replied sarcastically. “She wanted to know if you and I are seeing each other. She told me that the two of you are still together.”
“You know she was lying, right?” Ajani asked, looking into my eyes.
“Of course I know she was lying. But you do know she’s not over you, don’t you?”
“That’s an understatement. What did you tell her about us?” he asked.
“I didn’t tell her anything. What we do and what we are to each other is none of her business. She did see my ring, though, and she thinks that you gave it to me.”
Ajani laughed. “I’m sure she’s in her room right now plotting to destroy you. I’m telling you, that girl is crazy.”
“Is that why you two aren’t together anymore?”
“Pretty much. Lisa is fun, but that’s about it. We had a good time, but when she got too possessive, I ended it. But enough about her,” Ajani whispered, nibbling on my earlobe. “I’m so glad you’re here. I really didn’t think you would agree to come up with me, especially after your fiancé showed up last week.”
“Since I’ve been in Nashville, Terrence and I have grown apart. My best friend told me that she saw him having a very cozy lunch with someone that was not me.”
“So he’s cheating on you again?” Ajani asked, holding me closer. In one of our very late-night conversations, I had confided in Ajani that Terrence had been unfaithful.
