by Kate Cullen
As soon as the test was over and marked, Mr H sat himself down on the mat with his legs crossed like he was in grade prep. "Now my little munchkins, it's time to announce the names of the people who will be selecting a delectable chocolate or a scrappy bit of paper out of my beautiful green bucket here." He always said such silly things.
"Ok," he said, "there are only six students that made all the criteria today because of this morning's pea shooting incident. Matthew Robinson and Kevin Cameron, you both scored top marks today for all your work?"
"Yeahh!" Matthew and Kevin both shouted with excitement at the sound of their names being called out.
''Hang on, hang on," said the teacher getting a bit annoyed at them for yelling out. "If you would please refrain from calling out and let me finish before you get too excited. Now, as I was saying before your little vocal explosion, you scored very well the whole week but?. because you were both involved today flicking rubber bands and making weapons out of scrunched up bits of paper and pens, which got you into trouble, you unfortunately do not satisfy all the criteria to warrant a raffle ticket or a chocolate bar today. Sorry boys, you know that's one of the golden rules of the game."
Matthew and Kevin both looked pretty sad and sulky. I thought Matthew was going to cry. He's one of my best mates and he's heaps of fun but sometimes he just gets into trouble a bit too much. When we get into the Play station club together we like to verse each other but he doesn't always get in because he mucks around in class more than he should.
The other week he missed out because he was caught making fart sounds with his arms in the classroom with Pete and Jay. Mr H went into the office next door for five minutes to do something important or so he said. It was probably to blow Miss Egbutt a kiss. He said we all had to do silent reading which is pretty impossible since half the grade are still reading picture books out loud. Everyone was quiet and all of a sudden there was a fart sound. There were a few quiet sniggers followed by another fart sound and more laughs. When I turned around I could see them making the noises by putting their fists under their arms and squashing them. Its heaps fun to do. We do it all the time in the play ground but there was no way I was going to risk popping off in the classroom.
Even though I like Matthew heaps, sometimes I think that when God was handing out brains, Matthew must have been mucking around and missed out. He was probably making fart sounds in his Mommy's tummy somewhere.
Sitting way down in the back corner laughing hysterically at their repulsive sound making, their eyes gleaming with pride, they didn't notice our teacher hovering behind the office door capturing the whole scene laid out before him. As he stepped calmly into the room he spoke with a quietly calm tone. "Matthew, Jay, Peter! In my office, now!" Matthew knew right at that ghastly moment he probably wouldn't get a raffle ticket that day. Instead he spent half the day outside the headmaster's office.
So he was extra sad when he found out he would have to miss out again because of silly behaviour two weeks in a row. But as my Mom says, he can choose to be silly or he can choose to be sensible. My Mom thinks she knows everything. Dad says she's wise and he's always saying, "Listen to your Mother," even though he never does.
Now the other criteria for this particular day was that homework had to be handed in, all maths sheets completed with at least 80 percent correct, all spelling words correct and one book report completed. I was pretty confident that I would be getting a raffle ticket because I'd done everything on the list and was certain all my maths was correct because Mom checked it and I definitely hadn't got into trouble all week. But one could never be too certain.
Chapter 5: Where was my Name?
Mr Higginbottom continued, "So the lucky people for today are?.." He paused, "and at this moment I would like to point out that I have some scrumptiously delicious chocolate bars here today bigger than usual." Now if there's anyone that loves chocolate it's me. I love chocolate more than anything, except? Play station, so there was no way I was going to choose a measly chocolate bar no matter how big it was over a possible whole afternoon in the computer room.
He continued, "And so the winners are? Sophie Delaney, Grace Mitchell, Craig Williams?" Sophie squealed like my big sister does. Girls are so annoying the way they squeal and giggle and stuff. They're so? girlie! Everyone knew she would be going for the biggest block of chocolate. Sophie was fat but we weren't allowed to tease her because teasing is cruel and as my Mum would always say, "Just because she's a bit on the podgy side doesn't mean she's not a lovely, intelligent girl."
Grace and Craig chose chocolate bars as well of course. Craig is too sissy to choose a raffle ticket and maybe get a go in the club. Grace chose a crunch bar which is my favourite but I didn't care. I didn't want chocolate. I was happy with just a raffle ticket. Anyway my Mom reckons chocolate's not good for you. What would she know though? She says brussels sprouts and broccoli are good for you. Yuk! That's puke food. Anything that tastes like spew can't be good for you. I think she just pretends chocolate is bad for you so she can have it all to herself. Sometimes when I'm sneaking around the top shelf in the pantry when Mom's not watching I see a block of chocolate and the next morning it's gone. She says it must be the tooth fairies getting rid of it. As if!
"And the last people that make all the necessary criteria today are," Mr Higginbottom continued, "are Jacob, Nigel and let's see, who might the lucky last person be? Ellie Sanders. My heart sank when I didn't hear my name called out. It felt like it was doing a triple somersault then spiralling downwards into a quick bungee jump onto the ground smashing into billions of pieces. Where was my name? Where was my name?
Chapter 6: Reality Checks in
What happened to my name? I didn't know whether to put up my hand and risk embarrassment or suffer in a sulky silence and pretend I didn't care. What if I had got all the maths sums wrong? Everyone would know. I was in a dilemma. It was way too risky. If I didn't get a raffle ticket I might not have enough to be in the top eight. Mr H had even said that he had a really special announcement to make to the PS gang. That's what we called the boys who always got to play in the computer room.
Nigel Robinson walked passed me on his way to collect a raffle ticket. He'd had one every day and was sure to get in the top eight. He gave me a bit of a spiteful smirk and bumped into my arm as he walked passed.
"Bad luck Rino, you missed out," and then under his breath he said "suckerrrrr!" Nigel's the type of guy who likes to be mean. His dark, cropped hair and his big heavy rimmed glasses make him look a bit nerdish but he's actually pretty smart. He just doesn't know how to be nice. In fact it's probably the only word in the English language that he can't spell. Some kids are just like that.
I felt that warm, squishy feeling at the back of my eyes, the one you get right before you start to cry. If my big sister was there she would have made fun of me and called me a cry baby. I couldn't do it. I had to stop my self. There had to be a logical explanation for my name not being on his list. It had to be a mistake. Even Mr H was allowed to make a mistake. He was only human after all. Maths wasn't my best subject but there was no way I wouldn't have got at least eighty percent.
As the class went back to their normal business of trying to learn stuff while thinking about lunch break I slowly put up my hand.
"Yes Ryan," Mr Higginbottom said from his desk in a loud voice that attracted most of the kid's attention.
"Could you come here please Mr Higginbottom?" I asked sheepishly. I really didn't want to question his decision out loud. He came over. I looked around to make sure no one was listening.
"Um," I hesitated for a moment and breathed deeply. "I was just wondering how come I didn't get all the criteria to get a raffle ticket today?"
"H'mm, let's see, it is a bit unlike you not to accomplish everything." He grabbed his clipboard from the desk and came back. "Ok let's see. You got ten out of ten for spelling this morning, very good. And you got eight out of ten for the maths sheet. That
's pretty good stuff too, exactly eighty percent." I was trying to peak over his shoulder to see if there were any big red crosses. "You haven't been in trouble today in fact I don't think you've been in trouble all year. You completed the book report, ahh, here we go; you didn't hand in your homework this morning." He looked up at me with his bushy eyebrows frowning as they descended down to the bridge of his nose.
"Ryan, that's not like you at all."
"Of course it's not like me," I thought. It's not me! It's not me, because I did hand it in.
"But sir, I did hand it in. I put it in the box. I'm sure I did." My heart was starting to beat faster. Was my memory failing me or had my stupid, rotten sister played a trick on me again like she did at the start of the year when she took my homework out after Mom had packed it in my bag?
She's the sort of sister who does that. She's also the sort of sister who takes all your jocks from your bag before you go on camp! She's the sort of sister who puts prawns in your school bag even on a hot day. Yes! She did that too. Once I even found dog poo in my shoe though she swears that wasn't her. Did she think I would blame Pugsley for mistaking my shoe for a toilet seat?
Now I was sure I remembered putting my homework in the box that morning or was that the day before? Now I was beginning to doubt myself. How could I put up a convincing argument if I couldn't even believe myself? I was turning into a droll troll who had no idea what they were talking about.
"Hang on let me have a double check in the box," said Mr H coming to my rescue. I think he sensed that my eyes were getting that wet, soggy feeling happening behind my bulging sockets again. The last thing he would want to do would be to console a blubbering and emotional ten year old boy. My Mom always says I get too emotional over the Play station. What does she know? I don't even know what getting emotional means. She just says it means getting upset and crying a lot. My sister says it means cracking it all the time.
"No there's nothing here?. Have you checked your bag? Go and have another look. If you can find it now I'll give you a second chance." I quickly looked in my bag but there was nothing. Again I felt despair and desperation as if my heart was coming in for another sky dive southwards at the speed of super sonic radar. This could not be happening. Reality was checking in. I was not going to be sitting in the computer room that afternoon if I didn't get that ticket.
Chapter 7: The case of the Missing Homework
I could feel a bit of the squishy warm fluid begin to escape from the corner of my eye. Forget my sister calling me a cry baby, the whole class who had started to take notice of the grand trial would soon know me as 'the big, sooky bubba'. I was a big baby who couldn't hold back tears.
"Hang on a minute, what's this down the back of my desk. Mr H's words rang out like Santa Claus' sleigh bells ringing in my ears as I quickly pushed the escaping tear back into its socket where it safely belonged undetected.
"Aha!" he said. "This looks like one homework book in the name of Master Ryan James." His eyebrows left his nose and stretched up to his fringe as his expression changed to amusement.
"So, the million dollar question is?. is there a hole in my box big enough to let this quite large book slip through or has someone been a little careless in putting the homework into the inside of the box?" His eyebrows dashed between his nose and fringe blinking at me in a light accusatory way.
I remembered back to that morning when Matthew and I raced to see who could get on the mat first. In my rush to get there first, I made a quick detour to throw the homework in the box and slid into landing at the front of the mat as I yelled "INCOMING". Mr H was still outside waiting for some of the latecomers to arrive otherwise I wouldn't have done it.
Anyway I won, I got to the mat first but it was now clear to me that in my rush, somehow the home work book had not met successfully with its intended destination. Luckily for me the case of the missing book had been solved and was now safely in the hands of the master.
I could sense the sweet smell of victory once again. I looked at my teacher with the nicest, sweetest smile I could summons. I reminded myself of the dim-witted girls in the class whenever he asked who wanted to do a job for him. All the sucky girls would always sit up straighter than a light pole and smile sweetly like they had fairy floss dripping out of their mouths and fluorescent signs on their head saying 'pick me, pick me'. They would wait in pathetic anticipation for him to choose them and when he didn't they would go back to their sloppy postures and sulky faces until the next time.
"Well class shall I give him a second chance and give him a raffle ticket today. Half the class yelled out yes and some of the others who liked to hang it on every body said no just to be annoying pains. I knew Mr Higginbottom would let me. He was such a cool teacher.
"Well you must have caught me at a soft moment. Ok then Ryan, come and collect your prize." He patted me on the back in a friendly way as I raced up to the green bucket. "I wonder what Master Ryan is going to collect," he teased. "Will it be this nice creamy, melt in your mouth caramel bar or will it be a boring old scrap of paper in the shape of a raffle ticket?" He had a big cheeky grin on his face and so did I. I was so happy after being so disappointed. I felt like a toddler in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. I grabbed the raffle ticket out of the green bucket and immediately put it in the red bucket for the big draw. That was seven raffle tickets I'd collected; one for each week day plus two bonuses I'd scored along the way. As far as I could remember only one other person had got that many, so things were looking good.
We had about an hour to go before lunch but we had P.E. I love P.E. It's my second best subject. Computer Studies is my favorite because sometimes when we've finished our work we get to play games on the computer. There's nothing really exciting to play, only educational stuff but anything is better than work. Sometimes when Miss Egbutt is in a really good mood she lets us go on the internet and we can go on these really sick sites and play cool games.
By the time we get back from P.E. Mr H has always counted all the raffle tickets and has the names of the eight kids with the most raffle tickets. Sometimes you can get a bonus for doing something really special. Sophie Delaney got an extra reward the other day because she went round with a bin at lunch time and picked up all the rubbish in the play area without being asked to by a teacher. Of course she didn't choose a raffle ticket; she chose a packet of M and M's. Not like she hadn't had enough chocolate for the week already. Whoops I'm being mean aren't I?
Some kids are such sucks though. They'll do anything to brown nose their way to be the teacher's pet. Or maybe it was the lure of the chocolate that made her grovel inside grubby rubbish bins. My Mom might reckon I'm obsessed with computer games but even I draw the line at picking up other people's rubbish just to get another chance at a raffle ticket. There is no way I would even think about picking up other kid's half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, snotty tissues or mouldy bits of orange peel that have been festering on the sides of the bin trying to escape.
James Hanson also got an extra reward when he represented our school at the Maths primary championships in the under 11's and came second. Mr H said that he deserved a really big reward for putting in such a good effort. I reckon there was probably only two in the competition. He chose a raffle ticket of course.
After we returned from P.E. Mr H gathered everyone on the mat again.
"Ok grade fivie wivies, let's have a gander at who our eight winners are this week. But before I do, I would like to make a very special announcement for those of you that are interested in the Play station club."
This sounded exciting. Anything to do with the play station club was exciting but something in the tone of his voice made it sound as though this was going to be really awesome.
Chapter 8: The Big Game
"As some of you know my younger brother works at a game store; the job I always dreamed of doing but I never had the brains for so I had to settle for becoming a teacher." He laughed
heartily to himself but I had no idea why. "I have had the privilege of receiving a small donation from that store in the very shape of two Play Station 3 games The thrilling Need for Speed and the notorious Superheros which I am going to hold to ransom as the grand prize for a competition which shall otherwise be known as?. Drum roll please maestro." He patted a pencil tin beside him like he was in a rock band, and then in his deepest radio dj's voice said "The Play Station Playoffs."
A few of the boys looked at each other with gleaming eyes. Matthew turned round and looked at me and tried to say something but I was too busy day-dreaming about the day I would walk in the front door with Need for Speed and Superheroes behind my back and surprise Mom. I had been asking for Need for Speed ever since it came out. She just replies "Is it your birthday? Is it Christmas? Well what are you asking for? Money doesn't grow on trees you know."
One day I'm going to surprise her and plant a money seed and then I will grow some money and I can buy as many video games as I want to. But since I haven't found any money seeds yet, I've asked her if I can do jobs and save up for the game. She gives me 50 c every time I do a job. Whoopee do! So far I've only got eight dollars and fifty cents, which leaves only seventy two dollars and twenty cents to go. But if I could win the game, I could use my $8.50 on lollies instead
"Rino, Rino pssst" Matthew was trying to get my attention. "If you win it can I borrow it?"
"Matt Robinson!" Mr H boomed, "Do you have something you would like to share with the rest of the class or are you conducting a private consultation?"
Matthew didn't say anything. His cheeks just went a deep shade of beetroot as he turned back to the front. In trouble again. I hoped Mr H hadn't realised whom he was talking to. I definitely didn't want to be getting into trouble from now on. This was serious business. There was a video game at stake now and it was going to be mine, all mine.
