by Anna Brooks
His Adam’s apple moves down and then back up when he swallows. He clears his throat, and I shake my head. “I didn’t know you had piercings.” I point at his chest.
“I have another one.”
I suck in a breath, and he curses under his. “Stop lookin’ at me like that, Mellie.”
“Like what?”
“The same fuckin’ way I’m lookin’ at you. Like I wanna climb in that bed with you. Like I’m dying to feel and taste every single part of you. Like I want you to help me remember who the fuck I’m supposed to be.”
My breathing slows, but my heart still drums a rhythm so fast and loud I can hear it. “Who are you supposed to be?”
He takes a purposeful step toward me; he’s so close I can smell the bodywash he just used. Soap and man. All man. I lean closer to him as he reaches out and cups my face with his hand. “Yours.”
His thumb runs along my lips, and I suck it into my mouth. He hisses through his teeth and closes his eyes for a second. Removing his hand, he backs up, running his hands through his hair. “Fuck. Fuck. I’m sorry, Mellie.”
My stomach is suddenly empty, and my pulse races for different reasons now. I don’t want him to be sorry. I don’t want to be Jay’s little sister. I want to be wanted. I want to feel desired. “Don’t be sorry.” I toss the covers off and inch closer to him. He continues to back up and shakes his head. When he bumps into the wall, I take three more steps until I’m flush with him, the warmth of his body heating my bare legs. “Please don’t be sorry.” Of all the feelings I’ve experienced, this feeling... how right it feels, isn’t something I want to miss out on. I’m so sick of missing out on my damn life.
His head tilts down to look directly at me. “Mellie, this is wrong.”
“It doesn’t feel wrong.” It feels perfect.
“Mell—”
My phone rings, but I ignore it. Maybe if he keeps looking at me, he’ll find what he’s searching for. He blinks, then those warm brown irises dance across my face. The phone stops ringing, and I step even closer, pressing my chest against his. Just as he’s raising his arms to wrap around me, my phone rings again, the demanding tone breaking the mood.
“It’s probably your brother.”
“I know.”
“You need to answer it.” Instead of those strong and calloused hands gliding against my skin, he puts them on my shoulders and gently pushes me away so he can leave.
Chapter 4
Smith
Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me!
What in the hell am I thinking? Why did I... tease her? I teased her about my piercings? I’m a fucking thirty-three-year-old man; I don’t tease women. Especially not ones who smell like flowers and shine like the fuckin’ sun.
In fifteen minutes, she’s forced me to experience too much, too many emotions. Her scream came when I had just gotten out of the shower, and I was scared. Scared. I don’t get scared. And when she was calling out my name before she woke up... I can’t even describe how it felt to know she was dreaming of me, because nothing’s ever affected me like this.
Then I stood up, and my dick was right behind. Not only does she make my cock burn with desire, but my fuckin’ heart is also warming up, and I don’t know what to do with this shit. Thank God her brother called, because I was about to do all sorts of things to her, with her, that she’d be sure to regret later.
I get dressed, and as I’m tying my boots downstairs in the kitchen, she emerges like a damn vision. She’s thrown on a pair of stretchy black pants and a long tank top that molds to every one of her delicious curves.
She won’t be the one to speak first, so I do. “I’m headed to the house. Make yourself at home here.”
“Oh. Okay, thanks, Smith.”
I avoid looking at her anymore because if I do, I’m honestly afraid of what the hell I’ll do. I’ve never been so goddamned turned on in my life. Even her fuckin’ voice is sexy. And her voice saying my name. All raspy and quiet. Like she’s just waiting for me to lean in closer, so she can tell me a secret. Hell, I have a couple of secrets of my own that I’d like to whisper in her ear.
“I’ll be home late, so don’t feel like you need to wait up for me or anything.” I’m about to open the door after putting in the alarm code, only to stop and turn around when she calls my name.
“Do you want my number?”
Sixty-nine. That’s the only fuckin’ number I want that has to deal with you right now.
“I already got it, Mellie.”
“Oh, duh.” She laughs and twirls some hair. “Bye, Smith.”
The ride to the house is torture because I can fuckin’ smell her in the cab of my truck. Whatever girly stuff she wears... fruit and something else. Like vanilla or cinnamon or some shit. It drives me insane. If I wanted to stop torturing myself, I’d roll down the window, but apparently, I’m a masochist so the glass stays up. I park in the driveway and don’t move for a few minutes, trying to think and get my head on straight.
A loud knock on my window makes me jump, and my foreman points and laughs at me. I open the door and flip him off. “Fuck off.”
“Ah, but, boss, if I did that, then we couldn’t get started on this beauty.” Nate nods at the house.
“True. Let’s go.”
We walk up the steps. Even though we skip the first two, the board snaps on the fourth one, and Nate’s foot gets caught. He pulls it up, cursing and brushing off splinters.
“Ha, fucker. That’s what you get.”
When we make it inside, Nate whistles at the mess.
“My thoughts exactly.”
A few cars and trucks pull up as we’re doing a walk-through. By the time we’re done and come back downstairs, my crew is waiting. “Well, boys, hope you had your Wheaties this morning ’cause this bitch is getting stripped.”
The men split up to tear down walls and rip out the rest of the carpet. Being busy is good because it helps keep my mind off the woman who’s gone from a favor to an obsession in a matter of days. I start in the kitchen, demolishing the cabinets, but not before I reminisce about the first time I saw her standing right where I am. I’m carrying half of the sink outside to toss in the dumpster that arrived an hour ago and I see a familiar silver car stop across the street.
Legs for days appear before the rest of her body emerges from the front seat. She shakes her head, and her shiny hair blows in the wind behind her. When she leans in the backseat to reach for something, her ass sticks out of the car. She’s gotta be joking. I look around to see if there’s a music video being filmed or something. Nope, just her being clueless to her beauty.
“Dayumn…” one of the guys says. “Nice ass.”
“Fuck off, Tony.” I glare at him until the sound of her car door shutting tears me away.
Mellie smiles as she crosses the street, struggling to carry two bags. She shifts on her feet and bites her lip when she reaches me. “Hi. I brought lunch. I hope that’s okay.”
“You didn’t have to do that. The guys bring their own shit.” I take a bag from her and look down at her. So fuckin’ pretty.
“I’d love to eat what you brought.” Tony snickers.
I turn and pin him with a scowl. “Shut the fuck up.”
His eyes widen, he hangs his head, and when he realizes how serious I am, he heads inside. Bastard.
“It’s just subs.” Mellie breaks my train of thought. “But I know how bad this house is, and I really want it done as fast as possible, so I figured if I fed everyone, they’d have more energy... and it could get done faster?”
I ignore how much it stings that she wants to leave as soon as she can. “How did you get your car?” She left it at the hotel when I drove her to my place since she was so worked up.
“I called an Uber.”
“You should have called me. I would have come home and taken you to your car.”
“It’s okay. I need to learn to… I mean I wanted to. So”—she holds up the bag she’s still holding—“you hungry
?”
Before I get the chance to answer, a herd of guys storms out of the front door with Nate in the lead. “Heard there was food out here.” One of them hollers.
“Yep!” Mellie smiles shyly and sets the bag on the ground. “I have some sodas in the car. I’ll be right back.”
She turns, and I attempt to grab her arm, but somehow, our fingers end up intertwined. She pauses to look at our hands, a flush spreading up her neck that makes me feel ten feet tall.
I drop the bag in my other hand and give her fingers a little squeeze, loving how soft her skin is. “I’ll carry the drinks.”
“Oh. Yeah, sure.” She walks away, and I only have a split second to make this decision. Since I don’t want to let her go, it’s an easy one to make. I step beside her, and we walk to her car across the street to get the soda, hand in hand.
* * *
I stayed long after my crew left for reasons that outnumbered rationalization. We got almost the whole house demoed, and since I put in fourteen hours today, we’re even closer. When my garage door closes behind me, I finally crawl out of my truck and head inside.
My keys echo in the house. I’m about to shout for Mellie to let her know I’m home until I see the tips of her toes sticking out from under a blanket on the couch. I take my boots off and throw my dirty long-sleeve shirt on a stool. Once I take the step down into the living room, I see her curled up on the couch, laptop on the floor, an arm hanging off the cushion, and her shiny hair like a halo. Even in the dark, she lights up the whole room. Just as I have thoughts about how fuckin’ adorable she is, I walk away and head back to the kitchen.
I’m starving, and since the last thing I ate was the sub she brought at noon, I have no problem finishing some stale pizza and washing it down with an ice-cold beer. The house is dark for the most part, so when I flip off the light in the kitchen, the shadow that moves from outside catches my attention and puts me on alert.
I rush to the window, and when I hit the switch to turn the floodlights on in the back, I don’t see anything. I worked my ass off on this house but have yet to landscape the backyard, so the only thing in the back is grass. Nowhere for anyone to hide, so it must have been an animal or my imagination.
I shut the light off, go to Mellie, and gently poke her shoulder. “Hey. Wake up.” She stirs, and I chuckle. “Mellie.”
Her sleepy eyes open, and she smiles. “Hey. Sorry, I fell asleep.”
“It’s okay. I’m heading up to bed; you should, too. Otherwise, your neck is gonna be stiff in the morning.”
“Okay.”
“’Kay. Night.”
“Night, Smith.”
Before I can say or do something stupid, I go upstairs to take a shower and throw on a pair of pajama pants. I’m about to close my door when I notice hers is still open. I peek in and find the bed empty. I tiptoe down the stairs and debate what to do with the sleeping beauty on my couch. Maybe I should kiss her; isn’t that what happens in the fairy tale?
Holy shit, I’ve become a teenage girl.
In an effort not to wake her again, I move her laptop over so I can carry her. The screen lights up, and her cat’s ugly face pops up as the screensaver. It’s got a smooshed face and long ratty white hair. When I accidentally press a key, a document pops up and illuminates the screen. My eyes feel like they will bug out of my head when some words jump out at me. I set the computer on the coffee table then crouch down and read her comments on the page.
I like what you have here, but I’m not sure the wording is correct. If she was on her back and her legs were thrown over his shoulders with her hands tied to the headboard, I don’t see how she can meet his thrusts. He has control over her body. Consider something like, “He gripped my hips in his hands, and his biceps flexed every time he pushed and pulled me, my dripping wet pussy gliding easily up and down his long, thick length. The release he withheld for the past three days finally reached its peak.”
“Holy… Are you fucking kidding me?” I whisper to myself and adjust the damn hard-on in my pants. She edits this stuff? This is her freelance work? A wicked smile turns my lips up. Little miss shy and quiet has a dirty mind. She has a naughty side I’d be happy to let her explore. I wonder if she practices this stuff to test for accuracy. Shit, I’ll be a volunteer.
A bell chimes and a message pops up. I know I shouldn’t read it. I’ve already violated her privacy, but when I see it’s from Jay, I can’t help myself.
Sorry it took so long to reply. This case is kickin’ my ass. Anyway, I wanted to assure you he’s still far away. I have eyes on him, Mellie. He won’t hurt you again.
My damn heart drops to the floor with a thud so loud I’m surprised it doesn’t wake her up. I was right; someone fucking hurt her. I take a breath to cool down the blood boiling in my veins as I think about some asshole laying their hands on her. And for Jay to be involved, keeping an eye on this bastard to make sure he doesn’t come back. Motherfucker. Goddammit, Jay didn’t tell me shit. I’m gonna kick his ass for holding out on me.
Mellie releases a small sigh, and I close the screen and watch her, wondering what in the hell I’m going to do with her... and not just tonight. Knowing these few details about her makes the way I feel about her even more ferocious. Feral, almost. There’s so much more to her than I originally thought, and I want to peel each layer back until she’s laid bare in front of me.
When I can’t prevent a yawn, I decide all this shit will have to wait until tomorrow when I can think straight. I’m dead-ass tired, and my damn head hurts.
I lean down and cradle her in my arms again, trying to ignore all these fuckin’ feelings. She doesn’t even stir, and when I lay her down in her bed, she stays fast asleep... unlike me, who stares at the ceiling most of the night, trying to process why, for the first time in almost a decade, I’m letting a woman inside more than my pants.
Chapter 5
Mellie
As much as I’m a loner, I don’t like being in this big house by myself. Smith’s been gone all day; he was gone before I even woke up in bed with a smile on my face. I know I didn’t walk up the stairs, so that only left one option. And I’m mad at myself for not waking up when I was in his arms.
A note scrawled on the back of an envelope told me he left to go work on the house, and he’d probably be late again. It’s midnight now, so I read that note fourteen hours ago.
During the day, I finished my current edit and talked to Jay a little bit through messenger. Apparently, he’d spoken to Smith earlier in the day. Smith had found asbestos, and he and Jay decided I would stay with him during the remodel and not move back to a hotel. So being in his space isn’t just a couple of days thing as I initially thought… It’ll be weeks, maybe even months. It’s better and safer than a hotel, for sure, but it’s Smith’s house... where he lives and where he probably has dates over. The thought of him with another woman makes me green with jealousy, even though I have no claim on him.
On the one hand, I feel like it’d just be easier for me to go home and wait, since I’ve physically seen the damage to the house and met the person who’s fixing it. But then I think about how much of a hassle it would be. I don’t want to do everything over the internet or phone, and I don’t want to drive back and forth. Especially since I’m convinced that someone followed me the whole way here.
I’ll just talk to Smith when he comes home. Soon enough, he’ll be to a point where maybe I can move into the house while they finish it. Then I can list it and sell it and get the hell out of Dodge. Back home where I can forget all this stupid bullshit about the house and Smith and go back to my normal, quiet life. I might not have been the happiest back home, but at least it was routine, and I knew what to expect.
I made Jay take pictures of Mouse and send them. I miss her so much. If anyone saw the way I talked to my cat, they’d probably think I was insane. She’s been my best friend through everything, and I can’t stand being away from her. She was my comfort zone. But now, Smith is takin
g her place for the moment.
The safety net I thought I had was gone a year ago when Norman was released early for good behavior. That’s what freaks me out. I worry he’ll come for me, or rather, come back for me. That he’ll want revenge because I testified. That his obsession never went away.
Jay assures me I’m safe. Norman is not only a registered sex offender, but since it happened the day before I turned seventeen, he’s also listed as a child predator. Nobody would hire him, and since everyone in town knew what he did, he was an outcast, forced to move far away to live with his grandparents. Jay keeps tabs on him and is tight with the law enforcement where Norman resides.
My brother has always protected me, but he was especially diligent after it happened, and I’m so grateful for him. For his strong shoulder to lean on and for his determination to see the man who was responsible face the consequences of his actions. But I’m so sick of being afraid. And as much as I didn’t want to come out here, I’m glad I forced myself out of my comfort zone. Because I remember how I used to be. Happy. Carefree. Naïve. I want to be like that again. I want to fall in love. I want a family. I want to feel safe.
But nobody will want a basket case like me. Even though I’m making steps toward becoming a more normal twenty-two-year-old, my past will always hang over my head. I long for the day when I don’t think I see him. The day when the memories no longer creep up on me from out of the blue and hinder any progress I’ve made.
Maybe someday, I tell myself. Maybe one day, I’ll wake up and not think twice about leaving the house. Like yesterday, when I brought them sandwiches. I was shaking when I got in the Uber. I was in tears when I walked to my car alone. But by the time I got to the house and saw Smith, I was so damn proud of myself. It’s silly, really. That a task so simple is such a big deal. But it was a step, and for that, I should be proud.
