by Anna Brooks
“It makes so much sense now.” Smith’s soft tone interrupts my thoughts.
“What does?”
“Sorry, I was just thinking out loud.”
“About what?”
He kisses the top of my head. “Nothing, baby.”
I don’t know why I even told him this, but now that I started, I wanted to get it out. I needed to get it over with, especially since the shadow of him is looming around somewhere. I’d like Smith to understand me a little better. Damn liquid courage.
“Well, I wiggled relentlessly and finally whipped my head over hard enough to make the lamp fall. Jay rushed in and almost killed the guy, sliced his neck with a broken piece of glass. The man was arrested, did far too few years behind bars, and got out.” I roll my eyes.
“He’s not going to hurt you ever again.”
“Then. Then I get this house from a grandpa I never even met. I finally venture out to do something on my own, and it’s completely shot to shit because of another fucking psychopath.”
“It’s not shot to shit,” he argues.
“No, it is.” I stand and pace. “Did you know I couldn’t leave my room for months? Months! We had to move out of the apartment building because I couldn’t step foot in my bedroom where it happened. Then it took me years to even be comfortable leaving the house with my police officer brother.”
He watches me, listening. God, it feels good to have someone just listen.
“I ended up losing myself in books, and one thing turned into another and then I started editing. It gave me a purpose again as I tried to be independent, tried to venture out on my own. I knew he was locked up. I knew it. But then he got out early for good behavior.”
“Fucking bullshit,” Smith mutters under his breath.
“Yeah, it is. Anyway, long story short, I took a leap coming here initially, but I found you. I was so afraid, then the hotel shit, then the fucking neighbor, and I just can’t deal with it! I’ve been trying, Smith. I’ve tried.” I stomp to the kitchen again, take a swig straight out of the bottle, then march back to where I was and continue pacing. “Do you know how hard it is to pretend that you’re not scared shitless? I’m terrified. All the time. And the worst part is now I don’t even know who to be afraid of.”
“Mellie—”
“No, let me finish.” He nods, and I continue. “I’m so tired. So damn tired of it all. And you’re the only thing that makes me feel normal. I just want to forget all of it and not be scared all the time.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. What do you want to do now?”
“Nothing.” I shrug. “I just wanted to share that with you, so it was out of the way. I really like you, Smith. And I’ve been confused about a lot of things but not this. Not us.”
He stands and gives me a soft kiss on the lips then dips down so we’re eye level. “I like you too, Mellie. Probably more than I should, but I do. A lot. So whatever you need from me... if things are going too fast or too slow, you need to tell me, okay?”
“’Kay.”
He searches my face, and when he sees what he’s looking for, he nods and pulls me closer. “Good. Now, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?”
He holds me for a few minutes, and I take the strength he’s offering. My brain is telling me to stay on high alert, but my heart is saying relax. I finally take a half step back. “Hmm.” I tap my finger against my chin. “I introduced you to something delicious, so I think you should introduce me to something that I don’t know about.”
“Food?”
“Not necessarily.”
“Let me think.” He grabs my glass from the coffee table and walks to the kitchen. “Since you’re drunk, our options are limited.”
“I’m not drunk.” I put my hand on my hip, or at least, I try to before I stumble a half of a step. “I’m just tipsy.”
“You’re adorable.” He comes back and sits on the couch, flicking the TV on.
A little dejected that he doesn’t want to do more than watch a movie, I drag my feet and plop down next to him. When the opening song to Golden Girls comes on, I open my mouth to question him, but he holds up his hand.
“If you ever breathe a word of this to anybody, I won’t like you anymore.”
“You watch this show?”
“I enjoy this program, yes.”
The inside of my cheek is sore from biting it, and finally, I succumb to a snort laugh. “I’m... sorry.”
With a smirk on his face, he shakes his head. “Don’t be. I get it. But it’s damn good.”
“I’ve never seen it.”
A gasp comes from him and I laugh harder.
“How?”
“Wasn’t really my cup of tea, I guess.”
“Well, sunshine.” He pulls me next to him, and I rest my head on his shoulder. “Time to change that.”
* * *
“Mellie.” I awake to Smith’s gravelly voice and his lips next to my ear. He says my name again, and I giggle.
“That tickles.”
He kisses my cheek, and I sit up. “What time is it?”
“Five twelve.”
“Why are you waking me up so early?” I fell asleep watching The Golden Girls, and the next thing I knew, I was being carried to bed. His bed. He curled up around me, and I don’t remember anything else. A full night of sleep... marvelous.
“I wanted to show you something.”
My sleepy eyes take in the t-shirt he threw on and the yoga pants he’s holding out for me. After sliding them up my legs, he ushers me out of the bed. I hold his hand as he walks me through the house, loving it’s something that comes naturally to him. He grabs a mug of coffee off the kitchen counter and hands it to me then takes one for himself. When he opens the back door, I shiver from the slight chill but stop and look up. No words... I have none for the picture before me. “Wow.”
“Pretty, right?”
“It’s beautiful.”
He slides open the glass door the rest of the way, and we walk onto the deck. My skin even has a reddish tint from the bright colors reflecting everywhere. He leads me to the steps and sits on the top one. I rest my hand on his shoulder and continue standing. The sun slowly rises, and the world becomes a little brighter. A few frogs croak in the distance and birds sing their morning melody.
I finally sit and lean against him. Smith doesn’t say anything, and I don’t either. For the life of me, I can’t remember when I just sat and watched the sunrise. Sat and enjoyed anything, really. I’ve missed so many beautiful things because of the ugly in my life, and I’m determined to surround myself with only beauty from now on.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move.” He breaks the silence, and I sit next to him.
“I can understand that.”
“When I was little, I didn’t want many things when I grew up. Material things don’t mean anything to me... They never did. I always enjoyed building something or fixing it and making it work again. But I wanted to be a cop, and I accomplished that. I would have done that forever. When I came back to take over the business, I struggled because the one and only thing that I ever wanted got taken away from me, if that makes sense.”
“Why did you quit?”
“Family emergency.” I want to ask him about what, but he continues talking, clearly avoiding the subject. “I swear, Mellie. Until I saw you, I thought I was going to become a bitter old man, sittin’ on his porch along with a shotgun and his dog.”
I laugh at the image.
He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer. “I’m not letting you go.” He kisses the top of my head. “And I’m not letting anybody or anything take you from me.”
I breathe deeply, absorbing his words and his spicy-sweet smell. When he says things like this, it makes my heart genuinely happy for the first time in my life. “I don’t want you to.”
We sit in silence for a while, sipping coffee. When the sky is awake, he takes the
cup from my hand and sets it on the step. His fingers trace over my jaw before he cradles it and presses his lips to mine. A slow, seductive dance consumes me as our tongues twirl together. Soft, sweet, gentle. He treats me like a treasure, and although it’s what I wanted, I still feel so out of my element.
I can’t forget the danger, but he makes me want to. He shows me what it’s like to be happy. Maybe I’m being stupid. Maybe he’s grasping for something I’ll never be. I should care, but I simply don’t right now.
They say that when you find the one, you just know. I never understood it or believed; I always thought it was fake... fiction. True love was something you only read about or saw in a movie. Sparks don’t fly, and hearts don’t burst. But he’s changed my misconception. He’s taken the cruel fate I thought I would merely survive and somehow managed to give me hope again. Behind my closed eyes, tears form. A single drop slides down my cheek.
He brushes his lips over my bottom one and then the top before finally pulling back. His brows draw together, and he runs his thumb over the wetness on my cheek. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispers. “I’ll make sure of it.”
Chapter 15
Smith
Being with someone around-the-clock for three weeks isn’t what I thought it’d be like. I figured she’d get irritated with how I always toss my dirty clothes on the bathroom floor and leave empty water bottles lying around. And that when she kicked me in my shins in the middle of the night, I’d want to push her off the bed. Or when I had no room on the bathroom counter because all of her girly shit was taking up the space, I’d want to throw it all in the trash. But it’s been the best twenty-one days of my life.
We wake up together and make breakfast together. Luckily Richard is still out of town on business, so we haven’t had to deal with running into him since when I go to work on the house, she comes with and hangs out, doing her work. Lunchtime comes, and we eat together, we drive home together, and we are joined at the hip until it’s time for bed. Then we wake up and do it all over again.
So I’m confused on why she’s huffing around right now because nothing has happened that I know of. “Something wrong, sunshine?”
She glares at me, and I sit up and lean against the headboard.
“No.” She flicks the light off, practically throws herself on the bed, and then turns her back to me.
“Is this one of those times when there’s something wrong, and I should just wait for you to talk about it? Or should I keep bugging you until you tell me?” She doesn’t answer. “Is it that... time or something?”
“You. Did not. Just say that!” she shrieks.
Yeah, wrong thing to say. I shrink back down into the mattress, laughing to myself that this little squirt of a woman is the only person in the world who makes me cower. “I’m sorry.” I can hear her huffing and puffing. Obviously, she’s pissed about something. In the last few weeks, we’ve gotten to know each other even more. Likes and dislikes, favorite things and fears, and so, so much more. I’ve learned her moods, and she’s learned mine. Apparently, though, I don’t know her as well as I thought I did. “So... are you gonna be pissed if I go to sleep, or am I supposed to stay awake and wait for you to talk?”
“Do whatever you want.” She kicks the covers down a little. “That’s what men do anyway.”
“Say what?”
“Nothing.”
“Mellie, baby. Talk to me.”
She sits up and crosses her arms. “He barely even calls me anymore.”
“Who?”
“My boyfriend,” she snaps. “Jay, who do you think?”
“He’s balls deep in a really big case right now, and he knows you’re with me. There’s nothing to be upset about.”
“Don’t tell me how I should feel.” Her voice raises an octave.
Jesus. “Okay, I’m sorry.”
We sit in silence for a beat before she talks again. “I just feel like he doesn’t care anymore. Then that makes me feel like he only cared before because he had to. Then that makes me feel even worse... like I was nothing but a burden on him.” She chokes up, and it tears me apart that she thinks that.
I flick on the lamp on my nightstand and sit up again. “Trust me. You aren’t and were never a burden. He loves you so much and is beating himself up that he’s not able to be here for you right now as much as he’d like.”
“I’ve only talked to him twice in the last three weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here with you, but he’s all I’ve had for a really long time, and it’s just... I miss him.”
Hell, I know how she feels, except she has the luxury of still having a sibling alive to be mad at. Her anger and frustration will be resolved when he finishes this case; it’s only temporary. The hole in my heart will never be filled. “He’ll be done soon then he’ll start bugging the shit out of you again.”
She smiles and nods. “Yeah. That’s probably true.”
When she lies back down, I shut the light off and do the same. I pull her close, and my lids become heavy.
“Smith?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
I chuckle and kiss her head. “That was you yelling?”
“Yes. It takes a lot for me to become upset.”
“I see that.” I run my fingers up and down her arm. “How long were you sitting on that before you finally exploded?”
“Twelve days.” She sighs and mumbles something else under her breath that I can’t hear.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Her snippy tone is back now.
“If something else is bothering you, I can’t help you unless you tell me.” I continue rubbing patterns on her arm, and she releases a loud breath.
“How come you haven’t tried to do anything else with me?”
Without even implying she wants to, just her asking the question, makes my cock harden. “I’m waiting for you to tell me you’re ready to do more.”
“I’m ready,” she answers without hesitation.
I groan and take a deep breath. “You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” I throw the covers off, flick the light back on, and crawl on top of her; sleep is suddenly the furthest thing from my mind right now. The lamp sets off a pretty glow against her soft skin. “Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”
She nods, threading her fingers through my hair. I lower my head as she pulls me down and surprises me with the urgency of her kiss. She slides her tongue into my mouth first and presses her hips up so her body’s against mine.
Instead of wasting time making out with her, which is about the only thing we’ve done in the past few weeks, I pull my mouth away and kiss down her neck. When I reach her tank top, I grab the bottom, and she raises her arms so I can take it off.
My tongue teases the tips of her perky tits, and I make my way down to her little underwear-slash-shorts. Her sweet scent hits me before I’m even all the way between her legs and makes my dick leak.
Her soft moans and wriggling tell me more than her words ever could, so I don’t hesitate to strip her bare. Her knees fall open, and I run a finger through her slit. “You’re so wet, baby.”
“Uh-huh,” she agrees.
“Is this really what was wrong?” I press two fingers into her at once, and her hips shoot up, but I push her down with my other hand. “You ache down here? Need me to make it better?”
“Yes, please.”
“Please, what?”
“Please make it better.”
“Oh Mellie, I can make it so good.” I rub the palm of my hand against her mound until her thighs shake. “Is that better?”
She answers with a moan that shoots straight to my balls.
I don’t want her to come yet, so I scissor my fingers and push them back in, pulling out with a flick of my wrist, over and over again, fucking her with my hand. Faster then slower, hard then soft, just like I would if my cock was inside of her. When she’s dripping and cursing my na
me, I press my thumb to her clit, and she explodes. The walls of her already tight pussy clamp around my fingers, and I let her ride it out until she falls back.
Her spasms slow almost to a stop, and I sit up, loving that she whines when I remove my hand. Her eyes are closed, and I kiss her lips. When she opens them, I kiss her again and then trace her lips with my finger. She licks her wetness off, and I swear I almost come.
“You ready for another one?”
“What?” she asks, through heavy panting breaths.
“You’re ready.” I slide back down and spread her open, her glistening pussy like a fuckin’ magnet to my mouth. The pull to have my mouth on her is almost too much to take. I can’t wait anymore, and I suck her still swollen clit into my mouth.
“Shit!” she screams and grabs my hair. “Oh, my God.”
Goddamn, she’s so fuckin’ sweet. Almost like honeydew. I eat her like it’s my last damn meal, devouring her and fucking her hole with my tongue. Licking and sucking and even nipping at the most delicious pussy I’ll ever have the pleasure of making mine. I can’t help pressing my dick against the fuckin’ mattress; poor guy’s desperate.
“I need... God, I need your fingers inside me again.” She pushes up on her elbows and squeezes her thighs together as I rapidly flick at her throbbing clit. “I’m going to come again.”
All I have to do is stick the tip of my thumb inside before she lets out a moan and squeezes it with every spasm raking through her body. She’s super sensitive, so I take my mouth away but slowly pump in and out until her legs fall to the side and she collapses back on the bed.
I crawl up her body and fuck her mouth with my own, so damn turned on that I’m going to have to go to the bathroom to jack off. When I literally feel like I’m going to nut in my boxers, I pull away and throw myself on the bed. I toss my arm over my eyes and try to even out my breathing.
She surprises me and grabs me through the fabric, and I fuckin’ growl at how good it feels. “Can I?”
“Yeah, baby. Do whatever you want.” I move my arm so I can watch her.
