by Kaci Hart
“Me too.”
That was all Caleb said as he considered things. Life was going pretty well and he knew he was in a better place than he’d been in years. That made what he had to tell her all that more difficult. He drove down the road, contemplating how she would take it and how he would tell her.
***
“That’s right, you never met Connor’s fiance, Tessa. She and Daisy are the culinary masters who prepared this delicious meal today so give all of your compliments to the chefs.”
Sarah sat at the dining table and looked around at the room full of some of her best childhood friends along with a couple of additions. She knew everyone there except for Tessa, Connor’s fiance. She’d just met her but she seemed like she could have been an original member of their troupe.
“I can’t believe that you won the Strawberry Festival Dessert Recipe contest. Don’t you have to be someone’s Grandmother to win that thing?”
Tessa laughed at her before responding.
“Apparently not.”
“Well you have got to give me the recipe for that. If I have a dessert that I can make better than my mom, I’ll be the hit of every family gathering.”
“Of course I’ll share. It’s not hard at all. The secret in making it so good is a little sour cream.”
“No way! In a shortcake recipe?”
“Yep.”
Brett spoke over the women.
“Hey guys, why don’t we go into the den and catch the game? I know firsthand by being married to the ringleader of them all that this group of women right here will start talking about food and the next thing you know, half of the day is done and they’ve covered everything under the sun. For me, I’m so stuffed right now I need to untuck my shirt before I lose a button and I think Remy’s La-Z-Boy is the place to do it.”
She heard Caleb speak up in protest.
“Hey, why do you get the La-Z-Boy?”
“Cuz I called it pal! You’re riding the bench today buddy, and believe me when I tell you that old couch of his probably feels the same way.”
Remy responded sarcastically.
“Hello? Insulting the who guy just paid for you food?”
“Hey man, I donated the couch to you so I know better than anyone how comfy it is not.”
“Touche.”
Caleb turned and looked.
“Do you mind?”
“Of course not. You can go hang with your friends.”
Sarah laughed inside as he went off like a kid--following after his friends. She had to give Brett credit as he knew the group of women at that table well. For the better part of thirty-five minutes, they sat there and talked. Truth be told, she was enjoying the conversation. Unfortunately, after enough time apart, Sarah already missed Caleb. She just couldn’t see being apart from him when she didn’t have to. She loved all the ladies at the table but she didn’t want to waste what little time they had together before he left in a month. It had taken so long for them to actually get to that point. She excused herself from the table.
“I’ll be right back.”
Daisy laughed at her.
“Going to check on that new man of yours huh? By the way, congratulations on you guys getting together. Speaking of which . . .”
Sarah watched as Daisy turned her attention to Penny.
“. . .I believe you owe me a Barbie doll of my choice.”
When Penny’s head turned on a swivel to look at Daisy, Sarah wondered what in the world they were talking about. She figured it out a few second later.
“You are not seriously calling that bet?” Penny retorted.
“We didn’t set a time period on it. We just thought it was over but they finally got together so I win.”
Sarah was dumbfounded.
“You guys are talking about me and Caleb? You bet on whether we would date?”
Penny replied to her.
“Yeah. I didn’t think it would ever happen but Daisy did. Obviously I lost.”
“Penny! I thought you were my best friend.”
“I was, and I knew your parents well from all the sleepovers we had as kids. You know your father. For the record, I thought he was gonna make you become a nun. I mean black dress thingy, headgear and all.”
Sarah laughed when she thought about herself wearing a nun’s outfit. The idea wasn’t too far from the truth.
“You have a point. Anyway, be right back. And no more bets about me.”
She didn’t know the house but anyone could have found their way to the guys. They had the television blaring. That and the eruption of cheering they did when one of the players got a touchdown pass. They were so happy that she really didn’t want to interrupt them. She just watched how happy he seemed with his friends and she was happy. Not only for them as a couple--but for him. When he’d first come back, she could tell something was missing in his life and it wasn’t just a relationship with her. He’d told her the other day that he’d forgotten who he was but it looked like he’d found that person again.
She turned to go back to the dining room when she heard the TV announcer say something. It wasn’t much but it was enough to make her stop.
“…playing for the injured Caleb Emerson. Too bad for him that the league’s top wide receiver will be back at team headquarters by Wednesday.”
Next week? There’s no way.
She stood for a minute, wondering if her ears had deceived her when Brett asked the question that she wanted to.
“Whoa man. Did he just say you’re going back Wednesday? That’s like three days away. Good for you.”
“Yeah. My physical therapist spoke to the team doctor and they say that my rehab has been going so well that they want me to rejoin the team for practice again next week. I just found out last week. I guess news travels quickly.”
Sarah walked around the corner. Connor was the only one that could see her and the look on her face must have said something.
“Sarah. . . you ok?”
She saw how quickly Caleb turned his head at the mention of her name and his expression said enough.
“Last week?”
She questioned him even though she heard it with her own ears. Nothing was lost in translation. He was leaving in three days, at most. And he’d known for a week already. A whole week. That meant that he knew when he started their relationship and he lied to her about it. If there was one thing she couldn’t stand, it was a liar.
“S-Sarah. I didn’t know you were there.”
“Well pretend I’m not.”
She didn’t wait to hear anything else he was saying to her as she walked into the living room, grabbed her handbag and headed out the house. She looked around and then remembered. She didn’t even want to talk to him right then, let alone ask him to take her home.
I can’t believe I didn’t drive my car today of all days. It’s not too late. I’ll just walk the mile or two home.
She had made it to the side of the road when she heard him calling out to her. She ignored him even as she heard him running up behind her pleading his case.
“Sarah. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were there otherwise I would have…”
She swung around quickly and cut him off.
“You would have what? Lied to me again?”
“I didn’t lie to you Sarah.”
“From my perspective it sure looks like it. You’re leaving in a week and you knew it when you asked me to start dating you. I can’t believe you had me sitting there like an idiot thinking we had more time together when you knew you were leaving so soon.”
“I’m sorry. I was going to tell you the other day at the picnic but I got swept up in the moment. I’ve been crazy about you since we were kids and the idea that having a more meaningful relationship with you could happen was a big thing for me.”
“Big enough for you to mislead me because you knew that I would have said no if I knew at the beginning.”
“Sarah, just listen to me. Yes, I lied but it doesn’t change
anything. I figured that we both had been waiting so long for this chance and it wouldn’t really be that much of a difference. I would just be leaving a couple weeks earlier. We’d still be able to call each other all the time and skype other times. I’ll fly you out every weekend until the season is over if you like. If you think about it, there isn’t much of a difference.”
Sarah looked at him with disbelief on her face. Could this really be the guy that she was so in love with all that time?
“If you thought, then that’s what you should have said. Instead, you tried to take the choice from me.”
“Would you really have even considered giving us a chance then?”
“Maybe. Possibly . . . I don’t know. I just don’t think I could deal with you leaving so soon. You really have to go?”
“Yes I do. But Sarah, I need you to know that I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to. If this were earlier in the season, I’d tell them my foot still hurt just so that I could stay with you as long as you want me to but my team is a sure bet for the playoffs and every expert thinks we’ll make the super bowl. That’s the only reason I’m going. You know that’s been my dream since I was eleven years old.”
Sarah stepped back. She was sorry about what she was going to say but she knew it was right. She could see him bracing himself as she started to talk. She must have looked more upset than she realized.
“That’s the problem Caleb. The other day you talked to me about dreams and how you wanted to start a new one with me. You can’t do that if you’re still obsessed with the old one like you are now. I didn’t see it then, but it’s clear tonight.”
“Why Sarah. Can’t you just overlook it?”
“I can but I won’t. Caleb I’ve known you for over twenty years and maybe it’s naive but I don’t think you’ve ever lied to me once.”
“I hadn’t before. Not once.”
“That’s the problem. I refuse to struggle against something that caused you to change like that. You can blame it on anything you want but I can’t be with you.”
Sarah knew she was hurting him but she cared too much about herself to be lied to. She jumped back slightly as he moved closer until he was squarely in front of her. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. Not forgiving him right then and there was probably the hardest thing she had ever done. She saw the look of desperation in his eyes.
“Sarah please take some time and think about what you are saying.”
“That’s ironic. You want to give me time now instead of when you should have. I’m sorry Caleb but I don’t think that I can do this with you. I’ll always care about you but we can’t be together. I need to go and please don’t follow me.”
Sarah turned and walked away from him. In the blink of an eye it went from the best day in years to the worst one that she could ever remember.
***
Caleb wanted to follow after her as he watched her walk down the street but he didn’t. She was right and he knew it. She didn’t deserve some part time, relationship that was built on dishonesty. He had hoped it would be enough but it wasn’t.
For a brief moment he considered just leaving football. In all his years of playing, he never felt like he had the past few days that he’d been around her. If she needed the assurance that he would be there, then maybe that would give it to her.
He shook that idea off. Even if he wanted to quit--which he didn’t--he knew that she wouldn’t let him. She was too good of a person to let him stop doing something he loved for her. He’d be giving up football for a relationship where she always felt bad about what she’d made him let go, and that was something he didn’t want to have her living with for the rest of their lives together.
He sighed as she walked farther into the distance and started in her direction. The least he could do was make sure that she made it home safe. Not that he was really concerned about that. It was Stanton Falls after all. Besides, he wanted to spend as much time as possible as near to her as he could be. Even if it was this far apart, it was still their last night as a couple in their short lived courtship.
He wanted it to last as long as it possibly could.
Chapter Seven
Two Months Later. . .
Caleb walked to the center of the field with his helmet under his arm. He was a team captain on offense and he wanted to set a tone by walking out for the coin toss and giving the opposing team a look of seriousness that said that they should just go home right now. He couldn’t though. He was in the super bowl and all he could do was smile the whole time.
It was just like he saw in his dreams. The crowd screaming and shouting. The referee asking him whether he wanted heads or tail and him winning the coin toss. They’d get the ball first and begin the final leg of their march towards being Super bowl champions.
The game started out that way. Caleb was already the recipient of two touchdown passes and his team was in the lead by three touchdowns heading into the fourth quarter.
That was when his world changed.
The first play of the quarter was a bullet pass that was thrown in his direction. It was a little too high for him so he mustered every bit of his energy and leapt into the sky, making a one handed grab before landing. He dug his back foot into the ground when he came down before pushing off to make a quick cut to the right and avoid the defender. Then there would be nothing but green grass between him and the end zone. He was going to score a touchdown for his team and put an exclamation point on what was a sure victory for his team.
At least that was the plan. It didn’t turn out so neatly when he tried to make that dash to the right and his foot wouldn’t push him forward. His mind was shouting to his body to go but his feet just wouldn’t work. The next thing he knew, he was getting tackled. One of his teammates extended a hand to help him off the ground but as soon as he tried to walk, he started to fall towards the ground. He almost fell flat on his face but was able to catch himself with his hands just in time.
What in world is going on?
It must have been the adrenaline that took the pain away because he didn’t feel any pain. It was like his body refused to obey. That was when he realized something was wrong with his foot. It was his left foot again. He buckled in pain before rolling onto his back and pounding the ground with his closed fist.
I can’t believe this is happening to me!
He knew well what he thought it was. It happened the same way the last time. He took his helmet off and lay on his back but covered his eyes so that the cameras couldn’t see his tears. Minutes later he was carted off of the field to an ovation from the fans and both teams. For the rest of the game, he was attended to by the doctors while he watched the game from the stadium medical facilities.
When he left the game, his team practically fell apart. Their opponents scored a quick touchdown followed by an improbable onside kick on the ensuing kickoff. They scored again and stopped his offense once more. As the other team marched down the field for the tying score, he couldn’t help but think that this wouldn’t be happening if he were out there.
They would have iced the game with him playing. Instead it came down to the last play of the game and Caleb held his breath when his defense stopped the other team on fourth down. The game was over and he was a major reason that his team won their first Super bowl in years. It was one of the most bittersweet moments he could imagine. To make matters worse, the doctor decided to tell Caleb what he thought the situation was.
“Well, what we’ve got right now is inconclusive but I’m going to level with you. I know you don’t want to hear this Caleb but you need to consider your future beyond the sport. This many injuries in this short of a span aren’t good. It’s probably my fault that you got hurt again. I figured that you hid the pain in practice, which you shouldn’t have done by the way. Now you’re in serious danger of an injury and pain that you might not be able to avoid. And I’m talking life long, not just while you are playing.”
Caleb didn’t understand
why the doctor was making such a big deal. It was just another injury.
“Doc, what’s wrong. You’re looking at me like you want to say something.
“Caleb, I love football almost as much as you do. If I could do what you’ve been able to over your career, I would have. A lot of team doctors probably wouldn’t say this because it’s not in the best interest of the team but I’ve seen athletes on the other side of all this. So much pain killer to numb the pain so they can play through injuries, only for it all to hit them later in life.”
“Doc, I’ll admit that I’ve had a lot of injuries and surgeries the past few years but I’m not going to get addicted to pain killers. I’m not that kind of guy.”
“Not yet, but if you keep it up, one day I’ll have to tell you that you won’t make it through the pain without a shot. You haven’t gone that far yet, and maybe you won’t but I feel like my Hippocratic oath requires me to make sure you at least consider walking away while you can still do so relatively easily. Don’t you want to be able to run around behind your kids when you’re older?”
“Yeah but doc… “
‘Listen Caleb, I’m not trying to choose for you. I feel responsible to simply let you know all the options. Modern medicine is great and can do wonders for the body so I can tell you that you’ll be able to play again next season. Just consider everything I’ve told you.”
“Thanks.”
Caleb wasn’t sure how long he sat in that same position. It felt like forever but it couldn’t have been more than a minute or two. It was simultaneously the best and worst day of his professional career. He didn’t have to call it quits but the doctor made some good points. He could work hard and come back again but for how long. How many more times was he going to let himself get hurt? He’d have to really think about how much he was still willing to put on the line for this sport he loved after he’d given up so much already.
***
Sarah was never the biggest football fan. In fact, she didn’t really care for the sport either way. Every year Super bowl Sunday would go the same way. Her friends would throw a pointless, giant party full of food and people would sit around a big screen television to watch several hours of television. She always got invited. Sometimes she would go but most of the time she would relax at home. Personally she only liked it for the commercials and she saw no need to use several hours sitting through a game she didn’t understand when the truth was that she could pull them up on the internet after the game was over.
