‘Nice try cheeky chops, but it's dinner time soon.’
Trey runs up to Leo. ‘Daddy, choc-choc.’
The little shit.
At this, I have to hold myself together and breathe deeply to stop myself from bursting into tears. Because the moment Trey says daddy, even for the sole purpose of gaining chocolate, Leo’s face takes on a love-struck, mooning expression. He sweeps Trey up in his arms and heads for the kitchen. ‘Is it in the fridge?’
I nod. How can I say no?
When they return, Trey is sitting around Leo’s waist, just like he does with me, one arm around his neck and the other holding his chocolate bar. Leo holds him tightly, scared he’s going to fall. Leo stands taller, shoulders back. Proud. ‘I know he doesn’t really have any concept of what a daddy is,’ Leo tells me. ‘But it’s a start.’
‘So you’ll have to keep showing him, won’t you?’ I tell him. ‘Would you like to stay for some lunch? I have a chicken roasting in the oven. Why don’t you teach Trey how to use the golf club and ball in the garden?’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m not sure of anything anymore.’ I push my hair out of my face. ‘But stay anyway.’
His gaze probes mine. ‘Is there anything in the garden I need to be aware of him being around?’
I laugh. ‘Just use your common sense. He’s not made of glass. Plus, to be honest, I’ll probably be watching you like a hawk through the window.’
‘He’s beautiful, Beth. We make beautiful children together. Sorry, I mean we made a beautiful child together.’ He swallows.
‘I’d better get on. Let me get you Trey’s coat.’ I dash to the hallway because the walls feel like they’ve moved in on me and I need to escape to breathe.
There’s no dining room in my small terrace, but that’s okay with me. It’s one less place I have to keep clean and tidy. I have a tiny table in the corner of the kitchen where we eat. Myself and Trey take our usual places around the small table. Leo joins us. He looks ridiculous. His tall frame doesn’t do very well at our cramped table. His leg keeps accidentally kicking mine, and he repeatedly apologises.
‘No, Leo. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I’d be having a giant over for lunch.’
‘Fee fi fo fum,’ Trey yells.
‘What?’ Leo raises an eyebrow.
‘Watch and learn,’ I tell him. I recite the nursery rhyme while I get up from my seat and take thudding steps towards Trey, who shrieks with delight. I pull up his tiny tee to expose his soft belly and as I shout that I’ll grind his bones to make my bread. I blow raspberries on his tummy as Trey howls with laughter.
‘Again. Again.’
I sing it twice more before telling him he must eat his lunch before I’ll do it again.
‘It's a delight to watch you two together,’ Leo tells me. ‘You’re a natural at this mother thing, Beth.’
My mouth goes dry. ‘No, I’m not. I’ve muddled through the best I can.’
Leo holds a hand up. ‘We may have not been together long, but I know enough about you that you would never muddle through motherhood. You’d give it your all.’
‘I do give it my all. I’ve still had to muddle through. There’s no one-size fits all guide to being a parent.’ I suck on my top lip before adding. ‘I’m so sorry, Leo.’
He wipes his mouth with the piece of kitchen roll I’ve put out in place of a napkin. ‘Sorry doesn’t bring back the last three years.’
He says it quietly but I flinch at his words.
‘But thank you for raising our son to be this gorgeous delight. You will have to give me time, Beth. Just like I need to get used to parenthood. I need time to be able to accept what’s happened over the last few years.’
I nod.
‘Would you ever have told me? If I hadn’t seen you that day?’
I shake my head. ‘No, Leo. But that’s more about me than you. The more time has passed, the harder it's been to envisage getting in touch with you. The fear of losing my son has been too great. When you’re a parent, it's crippling,’ I confess. ‘I spend every waking hour fretting that I will put him in danger somehow. I childproof the house, but he still falls over and cuts his knees. My parents have him every Friday night so I can have some time to myself, or see Cam, but I barely enjoy myself because I’m wondering what he’s doing without me. He’s just started nursery and I immerse myself in making chocolates to distract myself from worrying if he’s being bullied by other children or assaulted by staff.’
‘Damn, I never thought of any of those things before now,’ says Leo. ‘Perhaps as you learn to let me in, you might learn to let go a little?’
‘I’m not sure it's possible,’ I tell him. ‘I think it's part of being a parent. Prepare for grey hair.’
Leo rubs his shaved head. ‘I’ll still look cool with a little salt and pepper,’ he winks.
His meal finished, he gets up and stretches his legs. He looks in pain from being cramped up.
‘How about next Sunday you could come to mine instead?’ he says.
‘Next Sunday?’
‘Yes. Is that okay with you?’
‘I thought you’d demand to see him sooner than that.’
‘When parents are apart it's usually weekend access right, and then a midweek?’
I nod.
‘So let’s say next Sunday and then the following Wednesday. Then perhaps the Sunday after that you’d consider me taking him out for an hour on my own.’
I close my eyes. It’s all happening so fast.
‘Beth, I’ve heard what you’ve said, but I want to spend time with him on my own. He has all my family to be introduced to as well, eventually.’
I’d seriously never given that a thought. That Trey has a whole other part of his family to meet. My heart thuds with fear.
‘We’ll take it slow, Beth,’ he promises. ‘It's been three years. What’s a little while longer? One step at a time, hey? So lunch at mine next Sunday? That’s all you have to focus on right now.’
‘Next Sunday. Okay. Lunch at yours.’
‘I won’t get cramped up there, and it gives me a week to research and child proof my house.’
I laugh. ‘Yeah sorry about our table. I’ll get you a lap-tray for next time.’
‘Great. Now is there a park nearby? I’d like to take Trey on the swings.’
‘Park. Yay,’ yells Trey.
‘Do you want Mummy and Daddy to take you to the park,’ I ask Trey.
‘Just Daddy,’ says Trey. ‘Daddy choc-choc.’
‘Nice try, Buster,’ I tell him. ‘I might let you have an ice-cream if you’re a good boy.’
Chapter Eight
Leo
I’m rather taken aback when Tim and Tyler Turner turn up for a golf lesson. Mainly because Tyler’s dressed like a cat burglar. If I turned out the lights, all we’d see are his eyes.
‘Oh, hey guys. Nice to see you again.’ I hold out my hand to shake. Tim shakes it and smiles. Tyler grasps my hand while squeezing it a little and giving me what can only be termed a suspicious glare.
‘So have you played golf before?’
‘Yeah, we always had a couple of games of pitch and putt and crazy golf when we went to the seaside, didn’t we, Dad?’
‘Well, golf is a little different to that.’ I frown.
‘I’ve played golf several times,’ says Tim, ‘but I’d like to check out if I’m doing things right. I’ve never had a lesson. Tyler needs a beginner’s guide.’
I nod. ‘I’ll take you through a swing in a moment and see how you manage that.’ I open my laptop. ‘Give me a minute to set this up to record a few notes. You’ll be able to take these away with you, along with recommendations for further lessons.’
‘How much are the lessons?’ asks Tyler.
‘At my level, I charge £40 for a thirty-minute lesson. There’s another PGA professional here who charges £25 if you’d rather?’
‘No.’ Tyler makes notes in a small pocket notebook. ‘Jus
t wondering. Mum’s paying.’
‘I think you’ll find I’m paying,’ says Tim, ‘and we’ve already had five minutes.’
‘Don’t worry I’ll start the clock once we get to the actual lesson. Anything else, Tyler? You look like you have more questions?’
‘Yes.’ He consults his notebook. ‘Do you still get an income from when you were famous?’
I massage my temples. ‘Well, I still have a few endorsements, but I have money in the bank too.’ I take a seat. ‘What else does your mother or sister want to know?’
‘Damn. Busted already. Doesn’t look like I’ll be Bourne anytime soon,’ Tyler huffs.
‘You’re Bourne all right,’ says Tim. ‘Born stupid.’
‘It’s Mum really. She wants to-’
Tim interrupts. ‘Dora wants to make sure you are settled and ready to be part of Trey’s life. Beth’s been like an extra daughter at times. We’ve known her since she was a little girl. She’s protective and looking out for her, that’s all. That’s what brought us here. Though I do want my lesson.’
‘I understand. You can reassure Dora I’m going nowhere. I've got a solid set-up here and I love my home. I want to get to know my son. Beth and I have agreed to take it slow.’
‘What your relationship? Are you together again?’
‘Tyler!’ warns Tim.
‘God, no. Nothing like that. No, slow in my becoming involved in Trey’s life. We’ve agreed that I shouldn’t overwhelm him. He needs to get used to me being around. I realised yesterday how much you need to be on your toes around a little one. They can get up to all sorts of mischief.’
‘Believe me, it doesn’t stop when they get older,’ says Tim, nodding his head towards Tyler.
‘So there’s nothing between you and Beth?’
‘No. Why, are you interested?’ I stand up straighter.
Tyler takes a step backwards. ‘Ew, God no. She’s like my little sister. Anyway, I’ve got a girlfriend.’
‘Well if this question is for your notebook, I’m going to say no comment.’
‘Tyler, enough with the questions. You’re embarrassing us.’
Tyler pouts. ‘It’s not my fault you haven’t taken your turn. I’d like to see you go home to Mum with no information.’
‘Your mum’s got to learn she’s not Cilla Black. Just because she set up that couple in Center Parcs and kicked you up the arse, she thinks she’s Cupid.’
Cilla Black. Set couples up. Oh, so that’s what Dora’s trying to find out.
‘I’ve met Dora. Believe me, I’ll do my best not to do anything to upset Beth. Dora threatened to kneecap me with my own clubs. Tell her Trey is the focus, not me and Beth. Though I’d say it's too late. I don’t know if I could ever trust her again.’
‘Beth’s a lovely girl,’ says Tim. ‘She never spoke about Trey’s dad. Said he was an idiot who wanted nothing to do with the child. With that response we never pursued it.’ His voice hardens. ‘She must have had her reasons, that’s all I’m saying.’
‘Oh, she did.’ I agree. ‘They were ridiculous, ill-informed reasons, and now we’ve got to try to find some common ground where we can proceed from. Now talking of ground. Let's get outside and get this lesson underway.’
They nod and follow me to the driving range.
Well, who’d have thought it. Tim stands like an ice sculpture whereas Tyler has a natural swing.
‘Tim. You’re standing too straight on. Flare your feet out a little. That’s better. Okay, show me your swing.’
Tim obliges.
‘No. You’re over-cocking it.’ I gesture for Tim to move to the side. ‘Here, let me show you. Bend from the waist.’
‘That’s what I tell Lindsay,’ says Tyler. ‘When I’m over-cocking it.’
‘You’re over-cocky. That’s what you are,’ says Tim.
‘Ah, Dad. Don’t worry. It’ll be because my limbs are still youthful, whereas yours are knackered. Instead of yelling bogey when I play with you, I’m going to yell fogey.’
Tim turns to me. ‘There will be times as a father, Leo, where your patience is sorely tested. I recommend deep breaths. Very deep breaths, followed by a pint.’
‘Well as you’re my last lessons of the day, shall we adjourn to the clubhouse?’
‘Sounds good to me.’
I enjoy spending time with the Turners in the bar. Now the notebook has been put away, they seem genuinely interested in me as a person, beyond my being Trey’s father. They enquire about my career. How I ended up being a professional.
‘My dad used to take me golfing. He loved the game. I showed an aptitude, so he paid for me to take lessons. I took part in junior competitions and began to place highly. Then I won. As I got older, I competed in amateur tournaments. Eventually, I turned professional, obtained sponsorship. Life was fantastic until two years ago.’
‘Your accident?’ says Tim.
‘Yeah. Not a night out of the ordinary. Travelling back home like any other, but a sheep had escaped its enclosure and as I rounded a bend, there it was. I swerved to avoid it and the car turned over in the ditch. I was lucky in a lot of ways, a broken arm, broken wrist and torn ligaments in my leg. Could have been a lot worse. In terms of my golf career, though, I lost my precision. What made me a Pro-player.’
‘So should you be doing lessons?’ Tyler asks. ‘If you can’t play anymore.’
‘Oh, I can play. Seems like I’ll need to show you sometime.’ I wiggle an eyebrow at him. ‘But I’m no longer championship level.’
‘Must be difficult,’ adds Tim.
‘At first, it was devastating, but then I got settled here. Travelling around for all those years was so fast-paced, I didn’t have time to think that life was passing me by. I like my life now. Hopefully, it’s going to get even better now I have a son here.’
‘So where’s your house and how big is it?’ Tyler asks while looking toward his knees.
‘You wanting an invitation, big boy?’ I wink.
Tyler blushes.
‘Just messing with you, Tyler. I live in a detached four bedroomed cottage in Whiston.’
‘How’ve they fitted four bedrooms into a cottage. They’re tiny aren’t they?’ he asks.
‘It’s maybe not what you’d consider a cottage.’
‘So it’s a mansion?’
‘Not quite. Anyway, that’s enough of the questions. I’m guessing that it's the notebook you’re messing with on your lap and not that you’re adjusting your penis in public. Beth will see the house for herself on Sunday. She and Trey are coming for lunch.’
‘God, no I would never.’ His notebook goes away again.
‘So, Tyler. You and this Lindsay. Is she the one, do you think? Has your relationship got potential?’
‘Hey? What?’
‘I’d say it's only fair. I’ve answered all your questions, time to ask some of my own.’
Tim chuckles and picks up his beer.
‘Got any popcorn? This should be entertaining,’ he winks at me. ‘I’m warming to you, Leo.’
Chapter Nine
Beth
I needed a night to myself after the last few days, but no. My plan was to get Trey in bed and then curl up on the sofa. With time to mull things over. I should never make plans. They never come off. Instead, my friend is here with her mother. Dora is carrying a bottle of wine.
She thrusts the bottle at me. ‘Get that into some glasses.’
‘I don’t drink.’
She sighs. ‘Still? We’ll have one on your behalf then.’
‘Trey in bed?’ asks Camille.
‘No, I’ve let Leo have him.’ I say flippantly.
Two pairs of eyes widen and there’s a simultaneous ‘What?’
I poke my tongue into my cheek and exhale. ‘Of course he’s in bed. It’s gone eight. Now let me get you these drinks while I have a nice cup of tea.’
They take a seat in the lounge while I sort out the drinks. I bring theirs in first.
‘See if you had a man at home, you’d be able to have a glass of wine.’
I love Dora but she’s about three seconds away from me exploding. My fist clenches. ‘I have a man at home. Trey.’
‘You know that’s not what we mean.’
‘Dora…’ I don’t want to be rude to Cam’s mother, but she’s up in my business and doesn’t belong there. ‘I’ve got to get used to Leo being in Trey’s life, and from that, he’ll be in mine for the foreseeable future. However,’ I hold my hand up as I can see she’s about to say something further. ‘There is no romance on the horizon. I believe the man is holding onto his temper because he’s a nice bloke. He must want to throttle me for what I’ve done.’
I hand them the wine. I return to the kitchen and have a swig from the bottle. It can’t hurt.
I re-enter the living room, carrying my cuppa. ‘Sorry,’ says Camille. ‘We wanted to check in on you, see if we could help in any way. I was bringing my mum so she could look after Trey if he disturbed. Give us time to talk. I should have known she’d start the minute she walked in.’ Cam gives her mum a pointed stare.
Dora shrugs. ‘I told you I was going to check if my business partner was okay.’
‘I’m fine Dora honestly. Leo wants to be in Trey’s life and he’s agreed to take it slow. That’s all I can ask for.’
Dora wrinkles her nose. ‘No, it’s not. You can ask for child support, or a shag. I’d ask for a shag if I were you. He’s like a caramel bar, smooth chocolate on the outside and sweet in the middle. You just want to bite him and have his gooey centre on your tongue.’
‘Mother,’ admonishes Cam. ‘Too far.’
I start to laugh. Hysterical laughter that creeps up on me from nowhere. One minute I’m pissed off, the next I’m gasping for air, tears rolling down my cheeks. I have to hold the edge of the sofa for support I’m laughing so hard.
‘Oh, Dora. What are you like?’
‘Not blind that’s for sure.’ She winks.
After that, Dora and Cam make polite conversation. I’m not sure what they want from me. They’re pissing me off. I wish they’d go home. I don’t realise I’ve sighed out loud.
Balls Fore (Ball Games #4) Page 5
