“Oh I know where this is. Do you want to go Bren?” Emily pipes up. I am bewildered as to why Elijah would be throwing a party when he is supposed to be all consumed with protecting me. If he is going to be there then I would be without protection unless I do go, so I guess I don’t have much of a choice in the matter.
“Um, I guess I’ll go. Do you want to just meet me there since it is closer to your house?” I ask Emily and she nods in response. Sam doesn’t mention lunch again. I wanted to say yes but I didn’t know how to bring it up again without sounding too eager. All during lunch I was hoping he may bring it up or even ask me to be his date for the party but he doesn’t.
***
After school Elijah takes control of my car.
“So what is the deal with this party? Aren’t you on the clock?” I ask as soon as we leave the parking lot. He grins but keeps his eyes on the road ahead.
“You need to have a little fun this weekend, so I decided to throw a party. You hardly talk to anyone at this school. You’re seventeen, sometimes you need to act like it Bren. Besides I can still do my job just as easily there as I can anywhere. You will be safe, don’t worry about that. Just promise me you’ll at least try to have fun, okay?” I bite my lip and worry about it the whole ride to where ever he is taking me.
***
“Come on,” he coaxes. I get out wondering why we are here at the boat docks by our neighborhood. We walk down the docks and he pulls me in the direction of a small white sail boat. My eyes light up. I love to sail. I have a huge grin plastered on my face.
“Seriously, are we going sailing? I love sailing.”
“I know.” He returns with a devastating smile across his face. He opens the box and pulls out a life vest and fastens it to my chest, always looking out for my safety. He doesn't wear one. He unties us from the dock and starts the outboard motor. I am giddy with anticipation.
“Oh my goodness, this is awesome!” He smiles back and sets us out for sea. Once we get about half a mile out, he kills the engine and starts setting the sails. First he sets the beautiful mainsail; it is red with a plume of gold stars descending down. The name on the boat is Shining Star. We zoom across the water. It's exhilarating. At sunset he drops the sails, and he joins me, placing his arm casually around my shoulder. I settle into him and we watch as the sun melts the cloudless sky into red, coral and pink.
“Its breath taking, thank you.” The only sound is that of the water caressing against the bow. He points out the faint silhouette of a dolphin swimming nearby. I spot it before it disappears beneath the inky water.
“I wanted to give you this here, in the tranquil respite of one glorious sunset.” He hands me a folded white envelope. If this is what I think it is, Elijah does have some great friends. I ease my finger under the seal and open it. I take the paper out and unfold it. I hold it to my chest for a moment; contemplating the fact that this could be the last minute I know that I am the daughter of William Michael Hale. I peel the letter from my chest and force myself to read it. My grandmother is my Grandma! Which means my dad is my dad! Oh thank heaven. I throw my arms around Elijah and squeeze the breath out of him.
“What about my mom, do you think she's out there somewhere? How will I ever find her?”
“I don't know how, but I am going to help you find your mother, I promise.” He nuzzles his cheek into my hair.
I bring my head up and kiss his cheek, he visibly tenses. I am taken aback. I spear him with hurt filled eyes. I only meant it as a friendly gesture.
“Oh Brennen I'm sorry.” He takes my hands and holds them in my lap.
“No it's my fault; you've made it perfectly clear you don't want me in that way, I am the one who should be apologizing. I’m sorry, it won't happen again. No I take that back, you haven't made it perfectly clear! You bring me out on this romantic sail boat and nuzzle my hair, and hold my hands. Friends don't do that. You keep pulling me in only to push me away. It's hurting me Elijah.” I pull my hands away and bury them in the pockets of my jacket. He starts to say something but doesn't. He turns to the wheel and points us back home. I have to get over him. I refuse to be the pursuer.
I know he is fighting his feelings and I should be more understanding but I feel like his yo-yo. He keeps flirting with me like he can't help it. I will tell him we need to keep it professional, friends at best. When he is done protecting me and only then, if he wants to take me on a date to get to know me, then maybe I will consider the possibility. Most of this is my fault anyway for kissing a guy I barely know, only with Elijah it feels like I have known him my whole life. My anger has faded but my stubbornness has not. I keep my mouth shut the whole way home.
Chapter 5 ~ Ache
September 2, 2012 Journal of E.M
I turn away from you as the tears threaten to spill over my lashes. I go to the wheel instead and fight the urge inside. I know I've just crushed you and I feel awash with heart ache. I love you Brennen. I have never in my existence shed a single tear, and now they fall one by one out of my eyes. The wind rips them off my face and mixes them into the spray from the sea. I hate that I am not able to show you my love. I know you may think that since we are alone, and miles from anyone that we could steal just one moment. If you only knew how desperately I want that moment too. But we're never really alone; they can see it all from the In-Between. My own hand has crushed your heart, and when you said I didn't want you in that way, I wanted to tell you; no I wanted to show you, right then, how desperate I am for you. Alas, I do not have free will like you do. I have to obey the word of the master, and you are my forbidden fruit.
During our first kiss I heard the voice of my superior in my ear. “No Elijah, you must not kiss her. There will be a time that this will come to pass, however your mission for now is to gain her trust. She must trust you implicitly. Your relationship must remain platonic.” I was devastated by the order. When one of us receives an order it has to be followed to the letter. However, it could have been much worse. They could have forbidden me to love you but their orders were specific for a reason. I may not be able to show you my love but if I had been ordered not to love you, then I wouldn’t feel anything for you ever again. You would only exist to me as an object I have to keep safe. This means they want me to love you. They did say that there will be a time where we are meant to be together and that small promise is enough to keep my feelings for you in check. Well, at least most of the time.
I peek over my shoulder at you, and you look so lovely with the wind in your hair and the flush in your cheeks. You need to laugh and be seventeen. You are so full of life, and wonder, and ideas, you need to share that with real people, not some ethereal being. That is my real reason for throwing you this party. I want you to meet some of your peers. You need more friends. Sam needs to find another girl to pester into dating. I don’t know why but I have a bad feeling about that young man.
Something’s coming I can feel it. The evil ones are plotting another attack on you, so I have to be at the ready. I have placed protection around your home so at least you are safe there.
I am so relieved that your father is your real dad. I tried to find out who your mother is and it was extremely unusual that I was told to leave the matter alone and not to pursue the issue. I mean what if you are right and you still have a living parent in this world? People change, maybe she is in a better place, I can only speculate as to why a mother would abandon her new born with the father. There is something amiss about this whole story and I want to find out what is perplexing me.
I wasn't put on your guard until you were about six months old. I feel terrible that the woman your father married turned so vindictive toward you. She treated you with such harsh indifference most of the time. I think she was jealous of your relationship with your father. You were three the first time I saw her spank you and I never let her near you in that way again. She appeared to trip over her own feet and busted her lip on the coffee table the first time I intervened. I think it scared her
, and she deserved to be scared. Every time her temper would flare up around you, she would have some highly unfortunate accidents. Finally she learned her lesson at the park one day, I was watching you on the swings and she wanted to leave, you wanted to stay a few more minutes and she went to jerk your arm into compliance. Conveniently, a giant crow just happened to collide with her head at that very moment, sure, she needed a couple of stitches, but she never abused you again.
We arrive back at shore and I drive you home. You haven't said one word to me and I deserve that. I think it is for the best for you not to like me right now. Although it has to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience. I wish I could see the whole picture. I leave you to go inside and hand you your keys. You give me a look of -why does it have to hurt so much? And I have to turn from you yet again. I don't hug you and I hope that makes it easier for you. I lope down the stairs pretending to be apathetic.
I can't watch you tonight it hurts too much. I know you're safe inside and I will know if you leave. ~
I take a break from my journal and go into the kitchen to cook something and that's when I seem him from the corner of my eye. He appears black as coal and his sickly yellow eyes glow in the shadows. I'm always ready for a good fight. I move swiftly upon him and grab him by the neck and squeeze, his yellow eyes strain under the pressure. His talons rake across my arm like a kitten's claws. He draws blood, which heals immediately. I slam him into the stone floor and crack the tile. Now he's irritated me. I reach deep inside his chest and with one quick swipe I end him.
In his last breath, he seethes. “Elijah we’re coming for her.” He disintegrates into a mist and his shadow bleeds back into the dark corner. I don't know why they even try to fight with us; they're like ants under a shoe. I return to the kitchen and take out some shrimp and toss them with some olive oil and fresh pepper. I squeeze a little lemon in the bowl and throw the shrimp on the grill. I enjoy my time in the kitchen. I make a small portion of risotto. I grab a wine glass and uncork a bottle of Merlot. Brennen is probably eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner. I would love for her to try this. The wine is pleasing and surprisingly rich with notes of dark chocolate and blackberries. After dinner I make a chocolate ganache and a batch of vanilla cupcakes, garnishing each one with a fresh raspberry. I place one on a plate and take it next door. I just can't stay away from her for very long. I see her on the sofa reading a book. I tap on the glass and she rises to greet me. She's wearing a short emerald green satin robe; it matches the exact color of her eyes. I love how her silky blonde hair is pulled into a ponytail highlighting her long thin neck, she's simply exquisite. I would love to kiss that small spot on her neck just below her ear.
“Good evening, sorry to bother you so late but I wanted to apologize about earlier. I brought you a peace offering. I really am sorry Brennen.” She eyes the cupcake like it could be laced with strychnine. Nevertheless, she invites me inside.
“Thank you Elijah, it looks delicious, so you do bake?” She asks this like it's something she has been wondering about. She takes a fork from the drawer and tastes my frosting. Her eyes roll back in pleasure. She moans, and it does something to me. I am thankful I am sitting opposite her with the shelter of a table over my lap right now.
“Oh yes Brennen, I bake,” I say coyly and then kick myself. Ugh, when will I learn to stop giving her these mixed signals? It is the most difficult order I have ever had to comply with. I have never been in love with a girl before, these feelings are utterly overwhelming.
“Maybe we could bake together sometime.” The way she says it is evocative and I can't help but return a wide eyed look of surprise. What am I going to do about this girl?
Chapter 6 ~ Luck
It’s late Friday night and I still feel like I can't sleep. I slip out the back door and walk down to the beach. The water is still warm from summer and I walk along the shallow tide. The moon is high and casts out millions of stars on the water.
I look over at Elijah's house and notice a light is on and it draws me closer, like a moth to a flame. Before I know it I am on his back porch. I see him inside seated at a small desk, writing in a thick leather bound journal. I see no video feed coming of my house or anything that would suggest I am under surveillance. I wonder if he has a secret spy room inside. He looks up for a moment and I think he may have heard my heart hit the floor. He goes back to writing. I would give my left arm to know what's in that book, Elijah's innermost thoughts, his dreams, and his true feelings for me perhaps. I tip-toe down his steps and make a silent escape to my home. When I reach my porch Elijah is sitting on the bottom step. How did he get here without me seeing him? Did he know I was at his house? Maybe I tripped some silent alarm.
“Can’t sleep?” he asks in a dry tone.
“No, you?” A gust of frigid wind whips around me, blowing my hair wildly in its grip. Chills run over my skin like an electric current. Elijah goes to pull me into his arms. I take a step back away from him. I can’t let him keep doing this to me. He remains standing but folds his arms and leans into the railing, his expression never changing.
“So did you need something?” he says coolly. Great he saw me at his house. My curiosity will be the death of me.
“Nothing you can give me.” I brush past him to go inside. If I keep feeding his jealousy, it will only end up with someone hurt, most likely me.
He grabs my arm and stops me, releasing it, he pins me without actually touching me. His scent surrounds me. I inhale trying to place it. My pulse quickens, I can feel it drumming in my head.
“Brennen.” He caresses my name on his tongue.
“Hmm,” I murmur, unable to speak, I almost feel drunk. I try to focus on his eyes to regain my composure but that only deepens the effect.
“I don’t think you should let things escalate any further with Sam.” Urgency clings to his words, his voice harsher than usual. I am sure he followed Sam and me when we left for lunch today, on our non-date.
“Why? You don’t want me.” I look up at him only able to move my eyes.
He puts a finger on my collarbone, tracing it while he thinks about his answer. The heat from my face enters my chest causing it to feel like it could combust at any time. My breath comes in slow shallow pulls like that of a deep sleep.
“Sam could put you in more danger.”
“No, he’s sweet.” His aroma was incapacitating me. “What cologne are you wearing?” I ask in a hushed tone. He takes his arm down and slowly backs up, thus allowing the fresh air to sweep it away. I feel the fog drain from my head. He takes my hand and leads me inside
“Elijah wait,” I pull my hand free and he turns to me and frowns but keeps walking. I tug on his arm and he winds his fingers through mine, still leading me.
“Is it because you are jealous?”
“Si,” he says in Spanish.
“But we only kissed once, and you said yourself you can’t be with me.” Elijah leans forward pausing mere inches from my lips. I ready myself for the feel of his lips on mine.
“Besos desnudan el corazon y el amor adornan,” he quotes in perfect Spanish. I translate what he said.
“Kisses lay bare the heart and adorn love.” Did he just tell me he loved me?
“You don’t want me, you just don’t want anyone else to have me either Elijah. You don’t know what love is. Love is sacrifice and selflessness, two things of which you will never know.” By the look on his face, I know I have wounded him deeply.
I pull my fingers from his tightened grip and go inside and slam the door in his face before he can follow. I settle back under my duvet and for the first time in a long while, I am proud of myself. It seems morality is the ultimate sedative. I am asleep in minutes.
***
I wake up feeling fully rested and decide to go and visit my grandmother this morning. Should I call Elijah to let him know I am going out? I decide against it, if I was starting to wonder about his secret agent cover, last night confirmed
his surreptitious ninja skills. I pick out jeans and a tee then change my mind, remembering how dressed up Grandma was last time I saw her. I choose a teal shift dress and leopard beaded sling backs.
I take Grandma's Lexus crossover because it hasn't been driven in a while and I think that is a bad thing. It still purrs silently so that's good. I go to apply a red lipstick because I notice in the mirror this deep jewel tone dress has washed me out to a deathly pale hue. As I flip the mirror up, my steering wheel jerks left hard and I almost hit the wall of the freeway doing seventy miles per hour. My heart tries to jump out of my chest as adrenaline courses through my veins like venom. I think my tire is flat. My steering wheel keeps pulling me left and remarkably, I am able to pull over safely to the median. My hands are shaking uncontrollably. I exit the passenger door which is no easy feat in this dress. I am wishing for the t-shirt and jeans now as my heels sink into the mud. I try walking on the balls of my feet to the other side of the car and confirm the flat tire. The tire is not just flat, but shredded into ribbons of dangling rubber. I shake my head at my luck.
Vehicles zoom past me, sending a rush of air that sways me with each pass. Inside the car I hit the on-star button and nothing happens. I try a few more times with a little more gusto, and still nothing. I snap and tell the system off with many expletives before I take my cell out and walk further into the median to call triple A. My dad taught me how to change a tire but I can't even pick up change in this dress.
As I am explaining my location to the obnoxiously perky operator I notice a semi-truck drifting into the median. The median I am standing in! My eyes widen as I drop my phone. I see the driver startle inside, I think he just woke up. He tries to swerve back into his lane but there is not enough time. My hair is blown back as the truck displaces the air between us. I scream out as he smashes into my car, the sound of his tires screeching and cargo twisting is horrific. The load he was carrying kinks downhill towards me. I hit the ground as debris whizzes by my head. My eyes are squeezed shut but I hear the chaotic crumple of metal and the strain of steel buckling under enormous pressure. As I peek open my eyes, a tire is jettisoned from the truck and starts rolling toward me like a heat seeking missile. I jump out of the way and it rolls into the service road causing another accident. The truck driver gets out of the rig bleeding from a cut on his head and staggers over to me.
My Soul to Keep (The Soul Keeper Series - Young Adult Paranormal Romance) Page 6
