We find a space on the lawn, right up front, and spread out a blanket. Emily pulls another quilt from her bag and covers our legs. Sam sits behind me and I lean into his warm body. The opening band comes on stage and plays a cover of Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Sam nuzzles his nose into my hair and rests his chin on my shoulder. It feels natural and right. I take his hand and enjoy the way it feels to be his.
Coldplay finally takes the stage and Emily and I swoon with high pitched elated ee's. The guys roll their eyes and sway us to the gentle melody of Viva la Vida. The venue is packed but the mood is mellow. I am glad we could do this together. I think about Emily's idea to travel the world for a year and wonder what that would be like. I have no one here to tell me I can't. We will soon be heading our separate ways. Well except Sam, he does plan on going to the same college as I do, of course that all depends if we both get accepted. The lyrics of Yellow fill the air sweetly.
Sam's nose finds my ear and his hot breath whispers, “I am definitely a fan.” I wiggle in his arms and he hugs me tighter. I turn my face to his and to tell him I'm glad he likes them, but his lips find mine and effectively shuts me up. I gasp in shock and pull away, it’s too soon. A wave of emotion comes over me, and I bolt down the hill.
“Brennen, wait I'm sorry.” Sam trails after me. I round the corner to the concession area and run into the restroom before he can catch up to me. I am breathing hard and tears threaten to spill over my eyes. The room is crowded, and people are looking at me like I am a side show. I find an empty stall and allow the tears to come. I dab my eyes with a tissue and try to calm myself. I miss him so much. Sam is so different in every way. Not a bad way either, just different. I feel stupid for taking off on him. I feel my age right now. I tried Elijah, can't you see that I tried. My subconscious is telling me something, I try to listen because sometimes I wonder if he is telling me something. It's almost as if he has become my subconscious. In his journal it says he speaks to me and I can hear him easily. You haven't tried; you haven't given in to your honest feelings. Take the wall down Bren and open your heart. Oh Elijah, I wish I knew how.
I saunter out of the bathroom with my head hung low. Sam is leaning against the wall with his head in his hands in exasperation. I go to him.
“You didn't do anything wrong. It’s me, I am so messed up.” He looks up at me, searching my eyes for the words that will fix things.
“No, you are perfect. Don't ever forget that. Everything you feel, everything you say is right. I shouldn't have kissed you so soon I just... the moment felt so right. I get so weak when I'm around you.” I move my hands around his neck and pull him in letting him finish the distance. He wraps me in his arms and kisses me with a passion I have never felt from his lips. I allow the feelings to trickle into my heart and cascade all the way to my toes. I realize I am not even touching the ground. He releases me and I slide down his body to the ground. I can still feel the love I have for Elijah protruding into my heart, into my thoughts. I don’t think it will ever leave. It’s not rational, he’s not even human, and my mind reminds me of it over and over again. He once told me that I carry a piece of his soul with me and I now believe he wasn’t speaking metaphorically. Somehow I have to learn to live with that piece of him nibbling away at my heart and still go on with my life without him in it.
“Can I have this dance?” Sam puts his hand out, and I put mine in his. He pulls me in the same way he did at homecoming and we glide along the pavement in a rhythm all our own. He spins and waltzes me around to the melody. We are in a bubble. I laugh every time he spins me and my feet land to the beat right on cue. When the song stops and the crowd erupts, we look around to find a small half circle has formed around us and camera phones have been rolling. We laugh and run off hand in hand back to the lawn.
The crowd is on their feet. We find Chris and Emily in the sea of people.
“You okay?” Emily mouths knowing I wouldn't hear her even if she yelled. I nod and smile. She gives a satisfied look. I try to get back into the concert but my mind wanders off again. I don't let it go to Elijah, but focus on how good I am feeling right now. Soon I notice the whole crowd is singing along to The Scientist and it sends chills down my arms, I feel compelled to sing along. Sam takes his spot behind me and I can hear him singing in my ear. He is moving his body to the music and the two of us together feel natural again.
Sam drops Chris off at his house and takes Emily to Elijah’s house since her car is there.
“Are you sure you don't want to stay another night? It sounds like it's about to start raining.”
“I would but my mom wants me up early to go to church.”
“Okay just be careful.”
“I will mom,” she teases. Emily jumps out of Sam's truck when we pull in. Just as Emily gets in her car, it starts to pour. Great, I bet Sam doesn't have an umbrella. I’m sure the rain is freezing. I am dreading the run to the house. Sam reaches behind his seat and grabs his Letterman’s jacket. He opens his door and is soaked to the bone in seconds. He holds the jacket out for me to duck under. I climb out and he kicks the door shut with his foot and runs me up to the porch. He is drenched and I am dry as a bone. He shakes his jacket out. His hair is plastered to his head and water is dripping down his chin. He steps aside and shakes like a dog. I crack up as water flies everywhere. I unlock the door.
“Well come on, let's get you dried off.” He steps inside and I give him a hand that says stay. I grab a towel out of the bathroom. He bends down and I dry his hair. He takes it and pats his soaked clothes. I shake my head I can't let him drive home like that and it's still pouring. Thunder cracks hard enough to rattle the windows.
“How about I throw your clothes in the dryer and maybe by then the storm will pass.”
“Um okay?” I realize to him it just sounded like I wanted to get him naked and that would explain the large looming eyes he is throwing my way.
“I think I have a pair of Elijah's sweats around here somewhere.” I dash to his closet and find a pair. I go back and hand him the pants. He takes his saturated shoes off and walks to the bathroom. He comes back out wearing just the pants. Wow, now I know I'm blushing, I just hope its dim enough in here that he doesn't notice. My fingers trace the faint bruises still fading on his ribs. It tickles him and he squirms away smiling. I take his clothes from him and toss them in the dryer. He hits the button for the fireplace and takes a seat nearby on the floor. I join him, pulling a throw off of the sofa. We sit shoulder to shoulder. I am glad we are not on that couch; it still holds some very bad memories. I glance to where the crack in the wall used to be. I assume Will must have had it fixed while I was at school that day. I'm so glad Sam doesn't remember anything from that night. I know he would never forgive himself if he knew what he almost did to me.
“I had such a good time tonight, thank you for being my date.”
“You’re welcome and thank you for making tonight one I will never forget.” He kisses me on the cheek. The fire dances playfully in front of us as it warms our skin. Sam takes my leg and pulls off my boot and then the other one. He rubs my feet and it feels so relaxing. I have never had anyone rub my feet before. But then again there is a lot I have never experienced. I think I could fall asleep right now I am so relaxed. I yawn and Sam laughs. I sit up and stretch languidly.
“Feel good?”
“Too good, I may have to keep you around.”
“I promise I'll earn my keep.” He smiles a devilish grin. Hmm, I think Sam has many more sides to him than I have seen so far. It makes me curious about him. I want to get to know all of his sides. No, not just his backside, my subconscious seems to be thinking with her naughty nurse brain.
“I have no doubt you would.”
“No?” He holds a playful gleam in his smile. He climbs on top of me he pins my hands above me in one swift move, he is still grinning. It’s the same position he held me in over a month ago and I can’t hide the look of fear in my eyes that comes over me. His smile fades into
one of deep concern. His brows knit together and his soulful eyes search my face for clues.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just remembered something from that night,” I say as he releases my hands. This man is not the one who attacked me that night. Sam is inherently good. I see that with crystal clarity now.
“Bren, did I hurt you that night? Please tell me what happened.” Sam sits up and his eyes wander to the fire and back to mine.
“No Sam you, didn’t hurt me.” He looks concerned.
“I don’t like you staying here by yourself. Wouldn’t you feel safer at Em’s?”
“Sam I have a CIA agent nearby at all times, I think he would handle an attack far better than Em’s parents. They had the alarm system upgraded, I’m fine here, don’t worry about me.” I smile and try to lighten the mood. His brows smooth and I can tell he wants to do the same.
He tickles my ribs while I giggle.
“Stop, ha ha, ah ee!” I wiggle beneath him. He moves to my arm pit and I retaliate. I use my leg and leverage to roll him over and pin him down. Sitting on his waist and holding down his arms.
“You've got me now what will you do with me?” I consider my options as I bite my bottom lip, hmm?
“I think a slow torturous death is in order.” I cover his eyes with the blanket and dip my head down to his chest. I kiss his sternum with a feather light touch. He lets out a sigh of pleasure. His skin is so soft. I slip the blanket off of his face and am met with liquid chocolate eyes melting into me. I smile coyly. The dryer buzzes. Time’s up. He sits up with me moving to his lap. He closes his eyes and our lips find each other. I wish he would stay but I know we need to slow down. I pull myself up and go to the laundry room. The thunder rumbles in the distance. I hate being here alone when it's storming. The metal roof makes the rain sound like we are barreling down Niagara falls in a steel drum. I fold his clothes and find Sam still on the floor staring into the fire.
“What are you thinking about?”
“How easy it is being with you.” He takes his clothes from my hands and walks away to change. The sight of his bare back and low hung pants has left me unable to function for the moment. Tonight was easy except for the whole hiding in the bathroom incident. I know I like Sam a lot and I will keep listening to my heart. I will not run again. He emerges from the back of the house and I walk him to the door. The rain has let up for a moment.
“Thank you for drying my clothes.”
“No problem.”
“What are you plans for tomorrow?”
“I don't have any.”
“Will you come take a ride with me?” Oh, the surprise he never got to show me.
“Okay, still no horses though right?” He laughs.
“No, but you will be trained to ride in time.” He sounded like his line had a double meaning. I give him a quizzical look.
“What time?”
“Spend the day with me. Come over about eleven.”
“Can't wait,” I say less than enthusiastic.
Sam kisses me good bye and heads out to his truck. The rain is just a drizzle and the air is colder. I shut the door, shuddering from the chill. A front must have moved in. I turn off the lights. The house is dimly lit with scattered plug in wax warmers. I chose different fall scents like pumpkin spice, and caramel apple, to fill the air with the aroma of Thanksgiving. I wonder what Sam has planned for us tomorrow. The wind chimes outside play a chorus as the front continues to move in. I slip into a tank top and flannel pants, and slide under my down comforter. I drift off quicker than I thought possible.
Chapter 13 ~ Flight or Fight
I have no idea what to wear, but decide jeans are a safe bet. I pull out a dark green Hollister sweat shirt and pull it over my thermal wear. It is freezing out this morning. I tie the laces on my running shoes and head downstairs. I take my ski jacket just in case we will be outdoors for any long period of time. I pull a knit hat over my head and greet the blustery day, shielded inside my toasty warm car.
I drive into Sam's ranch. The live oaks have shed their leaves, and are stark naked, making this gray day feel even colder. I pull up to the house, and see Sam's dad is on a ladder, already decorating for Christmas.
“Hi, Mr. Montgomery!”
“Hello, Brennen. It's good to see you again. Go on in.” He waves from his perch with a string of lights bundled in his hand. I smile and return the gesture. I open the front door and see Sam's twin sisters watching television on the sofa still in their pajamas.
“Hi Mia, and Macie,” I greet as Sam gallops down the stairs.
“Hi Brennen,” They sing in unison. They are too adorable for words.
“Good morning.” He kisses my cheek tenderly. His sisters giggle. “I'm almost ready. I'll just be a minute okay?” I nod and go join the girls on the sofa.
“What are we watching?”
“We are watching Phineas and Ferb.”
“Excellent, I just love Perry the Platypus!” They sit just a little straighter and I already love them like my own siblings. Mia has Sam's wavy sandy blonde hair cut into a soft bob. Macy has long wavy hair, other than that they are identical.
“Okay ready babe?” I hug the girls good-bye.
“It was good to see you, bye.”
“Bye Brennen,” they echo.
“So are you going to tell me what we're doing?”
“What would be the fun in that?” He holds his truck door open for me and helps me step up. I scoot in to the middle seat where he prefers me to ride. Sam climbs in next to me, and his arm takes its position around my shoulder. I don't see Sam's dad out front anymore but the lights are strung along the roof in a neat line. I bet this place is spectacular at Christmas time. I guess this is their first winter here, the climate is similar, but Ft. Worth probably gets more snow than we do here. Sam drives south and I tune the radio to a country station. Sam sings along to a song I have never heard, matching the singer's smooth tenor voice note for note.
“Wow that was impressive. I didn't know you had such a beautiful voice.”
“Thanks I guess I like to sing, mainly in the car or shower though, never in public.”
“We should go do karaoke one night.”
“Oh no, you can't get me on stage.” He laughs. Ah, I have found his weakness.
Almost an hour later we pull into a small airfield and drive around to a hangar. I click to why we are here, fear and panic almost have me bolting from the truck.
“Sam, no way am I getting on a plane with you.” He scowls at me in a playful way.
“Bren, this is my first supervised run, I have logged thirty hours of flight time. You are in good hands.”
“You know I was in a plane crash and that was a great big jumbo jet liner. I cannot get into one of these death traps.” Oh my gosh those evil little bastards would have a field day tearing one of these tiny planes apart with me in it. And just maybe by the luck of one brawny soul keeper I would survive, but Sam? He wouldn't stand a chance.
“Brennen I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to share this experience with you. If you don't want to fly I understand.” He rubs my neck attempting to soothe me.
“Can you take me back, please? I don't want to be here.” A hurt look crosses his face.
“Here in this hangar, or here, with me.” I care about Sam, and now I have just painted a target on his back.
“You don't need to be in a plane, there are perfectly nice trucks and trains right here on the ground.”
“Brennen I love to fly, I promise it is totally safe. There will be an instructor ready to take over if anything goes wrong.” I want to say, “What good would the instructor be if little goblins are running rampant inside the engine compartment?” But I know that would only get him killed too.
“Sam please, take me back.”
“I'll take you back, but Brennen what is wrong? I know you have flown since your accident. I know you didn't take a ship from Japan.”
“The differ
ence is I care about you and I can't bear to lose you too.”
“Alright,” he resigns. I know he is angry when he doesn't put his arm around me.
Ten minutes goes by and he hasn't spoken to me. I feel guilty for making him miss his flight lesson. I also am feeling bad that this is my life. I am always living in fear that someone I love will get hurt because something wants me dead, not just something, the president of hell with a faction of demons at his disposal. In the end, fear wins out over the guilt. I am so afraid that if open my mouth the truth will spill out like warm champagne. When we pull into his drive way, forty-five silent minutes later, I wonder if ever wants to see me again.
He turns off the ignition and gets out of the truck. He doesn't look at me. Oh no. By the time I step down and fish my keys out of my purse he is already inside. I stand there for a moment, shocked at his behavior, tears spill over my eyes as I get in my car. I put it in drive and try to blink back the tears. How can he be so callus? I have a legitimate fear of flying. Yes I have flown since the crash and heavily sedated each time I might add. But I don't owe him any explanations and he can stay mad at me for all I care. At least he'll be safer far away from me. In fact Emily has become someone in my life they make take interest in hurting too. I need to do a better job at distancing her.
***
Monday morning I take a seat in first period. I had eight missed calls last night, all from Sam. His messages say he is sorry in eight different ways. Last night I decided it would be best for everyone if I just went back to being invisible Brennen again. I move from my usual seat and take one that is surrounded by students already. When Sam comes in I don't look up from my notebook. I don't care how sorry he is. How he treated me yesterday was unforgivable. From where I am sitting I see him from the corner of my eye, and he keeps looking at me.
My Soul to Keep (The Soul Keeper Series - Young Adult Paranormal Romance) Page 15
