“I believe you think that, but I know it won’t be possible for you to see him kiss me, see the love in his eyes, without wishing it were you.”
“You’re wrong, because the only thing stronger than my love for you is my fear of losing you again. Now come here and let’s forget about what tomorrow will bring.”
He runs his fingers down my side and I burst into giggles and wince in pain as I try to fight him off. He frowns. He sits on top of my waist bearing all of his own weight. He unwraps the dressing on my arm carefully. I haven't even seen what's under there yet. As he unwinds the last layer I turn my head away, too afraid to witness the mauled mess. I feel his fingers touch the wound and my curiosity gets the better of me. I peek over at the injury and see three thin red lines, none of which circle completely around. No stitches or swelling.
“How did it heal so quickly?”
“We have healing powers, it sort of helps us do our job, watch.” He leans down and slowly raises my arm up above my head as I lie perfectly still. My heart pounds in my ears just from his feather light touch. His lips brush along the wound and he closes his eyes and takes a long deep breath. He presses his lips to the red line and kisses my scar. I watch as the red line fades to white and then to almost imperceptible. He repeats the action on the other arm. I revel in the way his lips feel against my skin.
My hands are still above my head as he brings his lips above mine. He intertwines our fingers and the longing in his expression is clearly evident.
“May I have permission to enter your dreams?” I find his question strange but I would never deny him anything he asked of me. I slowly nod and watch his lips curve up seductively. He closes his eyes and I know he is imagining what this moment would be like if he weren’t under an order that sets my body off limits. His breath comes slow and deep, like he is in no hurry, like he has the patients of someone older and with more control over his body, he is disciplined. It drives me insane. I writhe beneath him and he smiles like he knows the effect he is having on me. He is passing his dream onto me somehow and it begins to vividly fill my eyes with heated passionate kisses and I long for it to come true. His eyes shape into crescents as he smiles. That perfect smile, his front teeth straight but the next two slightly pointed inward saying look at me, damn it, kiss me! How is he doing this, through his touch perhaps? I close my eyes and let his dream satiate the desperate crave of his love I have been starving for.
I free my hands and remove his shirt. His chest is smooth and well fashioned. I run my hands down his muscles to his abdomen. His breath hitches. Hmm, I think I found something he likes. I lightly trace his hip bones and his mouth moves to my neck. He nips at my neck and my ears and caresses my body in ways that leave me wanting more.
“I don't want you to stop, please Elijah; if this is our last night together I want it to be you.”
“Brennen I love you and I don't want to stop either, I will never love anyone else.”
“Please Elijah, I need you,” I cry out. His fingers explore my body. My words send him over the edge. He is imagining us making love for the very first time. I can see it all through his eyes and it feels so real. I lie still beneath him, never having actually moved at all. While in his dream scene, he carries me off to his bed.
***
The morning light is bright, even though it is coming from somewhere else in the house. Elijah is sleeping beside me, his arms and legs trap me under his heated silky smooth body. Last night was better than amazing, it was sweet and emotional and passionate and felt so unbelievably real, there are no words in the English language for what last night was and what it meant to me. All we actually did was hold hands, but whatever scene Elijah painted, left me feeling fully satiated. Nevertheless, I am still “pure” as Nehemiah put it. Elijah stretches and smiles his adorable sleepy smile my way.
“I love you Brennen. I always will. When we get back, I know it will be hard to stay away from each other but I will be your strength, because I can't bear to ever lose you again.”
“Elijah I love you too. I am scared to lose you as well, so I will try to keep my feelings in check. The whole way back to the Center I revel in the way he made me feel last night. Elijah tells me that they can't read our thoughts in this world the way they can in mine so they have no idea what we have been up to, although my face says it all. When we arrive he pulls me aside to a bench nearby.
“Okay Bren. I love you but you have to get that look off of your face, just for a minute.”
“I can't help it I am going to be smiling for a week.” Elijah smiles too. Then it changes to a frown. He takes me by the shoulders.
“If you can't pull this off, they may put Enara back on your guard.” Okay he has a point. I lose the smile in an instant as I get pissed off at Nehemiah instead. He is the one giving the stay away order after all. We enter the building, the halls are quiet. My nerves are starting to pump fear into my extremities with each step. Shaking, I pull Elijah aside into a doorway.
“I can't do it. I can't go home and be just your friend.” My legs give out and I slide down the door slumping on the floor.
“Come here.” Elijah sits with me on the floor and pulls me into him. I nuzzle into his neck, drinking in his warm aroma.
“They can't see me here. We could run away together.” I whisper.
“We wouldn't last the day Bren. It will be okay. Do you trust me?” I nod. Elijah presses his forehead to mine and the image of him kissing me fills my eyes. It’s his goodbye kiss. I know it is our last moment like this, it feels so real I can almost feel the heat consuming my lips. He slowly breaks away then helps me off the ground. “Everything will work out.” He leads me down the hall to the large transport room. It is as busy as it was yesterday. “Here stand on this and I'll be right behind you.” I step up and panic again floods through me. What if he doesn't follow? I reach out to him. My face riddled with angst but before I can reach him I am standing on the sand. It’s still dark out. Fireworks boom above me. I wait for Elijah. He's not coming. Nehemiah must have changed his mind. Maybe what he did with his dream was revealed. All of a sudden Elijah appears beside me.
“Oh thank heaven, I thought you weren't coming.” I want to throw my arms around him but I stop myself.
“Sorry, I had to get the mission details before I left. Come on, let’s get you back home.” We walk down the beach and find the party is still in full swing. What time is it anyway? This is so weird, I have been gone a week, all be it only conscious for one day, but still weird none the less. A naked guy runs from the tent into the ocean yelling something. Bodies are spilling out of the tent and dancing all along the beach. We walk under the tent where I see Sam making his way over to me.
“Brennen, where have you been? I've been out of my mind looking for you...” Sam trails off realizing Elijah is standing next to me.
“My apologies Sam, I just stopped by to wish Brennen a happy birthday. We got to catching up and lost track of time.” The crowd is chanting something and I can't make out what it is at first, and then I hear, “five, four, three, two, Happy New Year!” Sam pulls me in and kisses me as if his life depended on it. I know most of it is to show up Elijah. I don't know what to do. I open my eyes and Elijah's face is deadpan. Great it's killing him, I knew it would. He swallows hard and averts his gaze. A tear rolls down my cheek. It's killing me. Sam finally breaks his hold on me. He pretends not to notice the despondent expression on my face.
“I was really worried about you, I'm sorry about Chris and the fight earlier, I don't know what that was all about. Everything will be okay. I thought you ran off because you were mad at me for ruining your party. I looked up and down the beach for an hour,” he confesses while holding my hands. I have my own things to feel guilty about. Elijah told me last night that he wants me to continue my relationship with Sam. But I don't see how I can. Elijah is too fresh in my mind. Every time I close my eyes, scenes from last night play in my head. I sigh. Think before you speak, I remind myself. I dec
ide to play along with Elijah's story.
“I'm not angry. Elijah just showed up, and we had a lot to catch up on. He is happy for the two of us.” I say convincingly enough, though my voice sounds far off. I realize I am staring at Elijah. Elijah gives a knowing smile and then changes his eye sight to the buffet table.
“Ooh shrimp!” He casually walks over to the table, leaving Sam and I to our discussion. I haven’t even looked Sam in the eye yet, too afraid of what he is really thinking. The party is thinning out. I imagine most everyone here has parents waiting up for them to return safely home before a curfew.
“Where are Emily and Chris?” I ask after surveying the room.
“I haven't seen them since we polished off the champagne bottle.”
“Are you drunk?” It comes out sounding accusatory. His head cocks back asking if I am serious.
“When did you change your dress, before or after you screwed Elijah?” I suck back a breath and slap Sam hard across the face. He looks back ashamed. “It's written all over their faces. Does she think I'm stupid? Maybe I am stupid, she did warn me this would happen. I just never imagined losing her would feel so immensely painful. I must be an idiot throwing her this big expensive party, dropping hundreds more on that bracelet, why? So I can try and buy her love. She will never look at me the way she looks at him. I am a fool.” His thoughts slice me open, spills my entrails along the sand. I feel as vulnerable as that tiny baby my father discovered that chilled New Year’s Eve, eighteen years ago.
“Sam, I think you need to leave.” Dejected, I make my way into the house and upstairs to the office. I take out the check book and write Sam a check for $2,500. There, that should about cover it. I run back down and stick it under the wiper of his truck just as he comes around the corner.
I won't deny it. I won't tell him anymore lies to save face with him. He deserves someone who will put him first in their heart. He really is a good guy. I go back to the stairs where Elijah is waiting up by the door. I watch as Sam goes to his truck, he sees the paper and realizes what it is. He takes it and gets in his truck, giving me a go to hell look. “I will never forgive you for this Brennen”, his thoughts tell me. He backs out, and as he takes off down the road I see confetti thrown from his window. My check I assume. I trudge up the stairs to Elijah feeling horrible for causing Sam so much pain.
“Are you okay?” he asks. I’m sure he witnessed it all first hand. I shake my head no. Of course I am not okay. But I don't regret what Elijah and I did last night. I only regret that my heart is still split in two.
“You have to get him back you know,” Elijah says while casually tossing an apple up into the air and catching it.
“What? What are you talking about?” I look at Elijah like he is insane.
“Let him cool off a while, but you are going to marry him one day.” His eyes narrow my way. I scoff at the idea.
“Hey did you ever hear about this little thing called free will? Yeah it's where the lovely people down here on Earth get to make their own choices.” I point a finger into his chest.
“Too bad for you, your half angel. How long do you think they’ll let you keep your free will, darling?” He smirks, pissing me off further. I slump down into a rocking chair. The tirade of incessant fireworks still booms in the night as if celebrating the final collapse of my life as I know it.
“Stay mad, we'll need it tomorrow when we begin your training.” Elijah takes a bite out of the apple and strides off. Oh I'm staying mad all right. I am going to show the In-Between just what it means to screw with my life.
My Soul to Keep (The Soul Keeper Series - Young Adult Paranormal Romance) Page 22
