“I’ll wait at the school. Denki, Sam. I don’t know how to tell you—”
If she said one more thing, he might have to kiss her. “I’ll come to the school. Okay?”
She nodded, and he gave her a doubtful smile.
If he couldn’t make her love him, he’d never smile again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hugging her knees to her chest and praying with all her might, Elsie sat on one of the steps about halfway down and stared out the window. She quietly thanked the person who’d had the gute sense to put a window in the schoolhouse door. It was useful when she wanted to look out on recess without being noticed and especially welcome tonight when she was eagerly awaiting news from Sam. She didn’t even care if he yelled at her. She just needed to know that Reuben was all right.
It had started to snow lightly about half an hour ago, and then the wind had started to blow. First it sighed through the cracks in the schoolhouse, then it began to howl as it rattled the windows. She hated that Sam was out on a cold afternoon like this, but oh so grateful that he had agreed, without hesitation, to go.
That was one thing she loved about Sam. He was a protector, with a heart for the weak and downtrodden. It was why he was so inflexible about Wally and so miserable when Wally was upset. It was why he yelled at her and why he was willing to give up his dream of a dairy for Wally’s sake.
Oy, anyhow. She wished she didn’t love him so much. It hurt that much more to know that he considered her his enemy.
Pressing her toes into the stair, she lifted her heels, and her feet started vibrating vigorously. She didn’t want to leave her post, but she couldn’t make herself be still either. When she had come back to the school, she had started and given up on about five projects before surrendering altogether and planting herself on the stairs to wait. It would soon be dark, and Mammi and Dawdi were going to worry if she didn’t come home soon.
The blessed sound of a horse started quietly and got louder. Every nerve in her body pulsed with tension. She’d be okay as long as she knew Reuben was safe. She stood, tripped up the stairs, and paced the floor at the top where she could still see the door when Sam came in.
The wind blew a bushel of snow in with him. He forced the door shut, took off his hat, and shook the snow from it. He looked up and smiled at her, making her dizzy and light-headed and breathless all at the same time. Even if he hated her, she would always cherish that smile.
She was grateful when he practically ran up the stairs. She’d been in suspense for too long already. He took her hand in his and laid his other hand over the top of hers. She trembled, but she told herself it was only because his hands were so cold. “Elsie,” he said, almost as if he liked her, almost as if he didn’t think she had ruined Wally’s life, “all is well. Reuben is safe.”
She couldn’t let herself breathe. Not yet. “What happened?”
“I talked with Alvin. You’ll be happy to know that I didn’t yell.” He curled one side of his mouth before studying her face and losing any hint of a smile. “It’s all right, Elsie. He calmed down and agreed to let Reuben spend the night at our house.”
“Reuben’s at your house?”
He squeezed her hand. “He and Wally are eating yummasetti and teasing Maggie mercilessly. He’s going to be okay.”
Elsie’s relief was like a river overflowing its banks. She wrapped her arms around her waist as great, uncontrollable sobs wracked her body. “I . . . I . . . denki. Denki, Sam.”
Concern darkened his features, and he tugged her into his arms. She didn’t try to resist him. His embrace felt so good, and she felt so unraveled. She buried her face against his chest and bawled, and he didn’t seem to mind that she was soaking his shirt with her tears. “I—was—so—worried,” she hiccupped, trying to explain herself even as she was helpless to pull away.
“Shh, shh, heartzley. You were so brave.” His arms tightened around her. “Alvin should never have . . .”
Her heart did a somersault. Had he just called her heartzley? “I . . . I couldn’t stand the thought of Reuben getting hurt.”
“Wally said you lied to protect him.”
He could yell at her if he wanted to. She would do the same again. “I told Alvin I gave Reuben the toilet paper. He didn’t believe me.”
Instead of releasing her like she expected he would after knowing her sin, he held on so tight, she thought she’d never feel adrift again. “Elsie, I’m sorry. So, so sorry,” he said, his breathing shallow and fast. He kissed her forehead and made her head whirl like a snowflake in the wind.
Didn’t he despise her? Hadn’t he heard her confess to lying? And where were her wits? Shouldn’t he let go of her so she could bend over and scoop them up off the floor?
She raised her gaze to his face. His eyes were hooded, and he looked at her as if she had something he wanted very badly. He lowered his head and kissed one eyebrow, and then the other. His touch was so gentle, his mouth like a feather against her skin. He smeared an errant tear from her face and kissed her eyelid. Cupping the side of her face with his hand, he traced his thumb along the edges of her bottom lip. The snowflake whirling inside her head turned into a blizzard—a wild, windy whiteout that left her breathless and shivering at his touch.
“I guess I shouldn’t have lied,” she murmured, because someone needed to wake Sam up from whatever strange dream he was in. She didn’t want him to do something he’d regret later, even if she’d remember this for the rest of her life and ach, du lieva . . .
Without a word, he pulled her closer, squeezed the air right out of her, and brought his lips down on hers. Her heart banged against her chest at the absolutely wunderbarr, heavenly feel of his lips and heady smell of leather and soap on his skin. She should have pushed him away, because he couldn’t possibly know what he was doing. He was kissing the girl he’d yelled at only weeks ago, the one who had injured Wally beyond repair. The one who lied about toilet paper and could strike him out without even trying. The one he hated.
A sigh came from deep within her throat as he slid both hands around her waist to bring her closer to him. Ach, vell. It was too late to talk him out of anything. Might as well enjoy it before he came to his senses. Rising to her tippy toes, she snaked her arms around his neck. He was too tall, but he was bending over to kiss her. She managed all right.
He broke off the kiss, but his lips hovered mere inches from her mouth. “Have I ruined my chances with you, Elsie?”
She gave him a lopsided, dreamy, discombobulated grin. “Apparently not.”
His smile would have made her knees weak if they hadn’t been jelly already. “Do you really mean that?”
“Jah.” She didn’t want to remind him how he felt about her, but for sure and certain he wasn’t thinking straight. “But don’t you hate me? I’m trying to ruin Wally’s life.”
He winced as if she’d slapped him, released her, and took a step back. The emptiness he left behind threatened to overtake her. “Elsie, I’ve been wrong about so many things, I don’t even know where to begin to apologize to you.”
“You can start by saying you’re sorry for almost breaking my nose.”
Despite his distress, he chuckled. “You insisted on challenging my manhood. I had to do it.” His smile faded. “Wally sold his Xbox. Did you know that?”
She nodded.
“I thought I was protecting him, but all I did was hurt him. Badly.”
Elsie couldn’t bear that look on his face. She took his hand and led him to sit on the edge of her desk. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss on the lips. It was very nice, very short, and set her heart running madly around the bases. His eyes lit up as hope played at the corners of his mouth. Ach! He was too lovable for words. “You did your best by Wally. No one can fault you for that, even though you were wrong and stubborn about it.”
He hung his head. “I’m sorry.”
She cupped her fingers around his chin and lifted it so he’d look her i
n the eye. “Everything you’ve done is because you love Wally, but he’s even more stubborn than you are. You never would have been able to smother him, no matter how hard you tried. You can take comfort in that.”
“I can’t take comfort in anything.”
She took his hand and laced her fingers with his. It felt so good, she might never let go. “Because you were so obstinate, you forced him to find the strength to defy you. You held him down, and he resisted until he grew strong enough to break free—not because he doesn’t love you, but because he’s finally finding his own way.”
“It’s worse than I imagined.”
“Nae, it isn’t. At the first of the year, I was the one he fought. He started playing softball because he wanted to irritate me.”
“That’s true.” Sam curled one corner of his mouth. “You were the enemy.”
“You thought so too. I made Wally’s life miserable, and you both hated me for it.”
“I never hated you.” He expelled a quick puff of air and smiled. “ Vell, I disliked you a lot.”
“Wally needed someone to push him hard enough so that he would push back. Eventually he realized he wasn’t a good-for-nothing cripple. He saw that he could be normal and whole.”
Sam’s expression got all mushy, and he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her close. She’d never get tired of the warmth that enveloped her. “What would we have done without you?”
“Vell, you never would have learned how to cut your pizza into twelve equal slices.”
Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “I almost forgot. I have something for you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. It was the one she’d given Wally to give to Sam. “Oh,” he said. “This isn’t it.”
“Did you read it?”
“I read it. Wally gave it to me when I brought Reuben home.” He pulled her note from the envelope and unfolded it. “Dear Sam, Wally and I have talked it over, and I have decided to let him play softball during recess. You were very brave to send this. You had to know how mad it would make me.”
Elsie’s lips twitched with a smile. “I can’t believe you kissed me after that.”
He shrugged in mock resignation. “I’d been resisting for a wonderful long time. I couldn’t help myself.” He knocked her over with a smile and squeezed her hand. “You were right about everything. I realized how deerich I’d been when I went down to the basement and saw what Wally had done.” He reached into his other pocket and pulled out a piece of crumpled and misused notebook paper. “Here is what I brought for you.”
With great curiosity, she reached for it, but he pulled it away. “Nae, teacher. I will read this to you.” He tucked her arm under his elbow and led her to sit at her desk. He went back around to the other side, got down on his knees across from her, and rested his elbows on her desk. “The last time I came to the school, you told me you didn’t want to talk to me ever again. Do you remember?”
She scrunched her lips to one side of her face. “I remember you gave me an order.”
He grimaced. “Jah, vell. Try to forget that.” He laid the paper on the desk and smoothed it with his fingers. “You told me that if I had something to say to you I should send a note, because you didn’t want to talk to me.”
It was her turn to make a face. “I remember something like that.”
“It hurt me like an ache in the gut, even though I was mad at you.”
Elsie felt the ache as if it were her own. “I thought you hated me. I couldn’t bear your sharp looks.”
He crumpled the paper in his fist. “Ach, Elsie. I’ve been so foolish.”
She wrapped her fingers around his wrist. “So what does your note say?”
He studied the paper in his hand and smoothed it out again. “I wrote this right before I came, so I’ve probably misspelled half the words and left out all the commas.”
“I don’t care about commas.”
He cleared his throat. “Dear Elsie, I fell in love with you months ago. I hope you’ll forgive me and try to love me back. Love, Sam.” He looked up, folded the paper, and put it back in his pocket. “That’s all,” he said, his face a bright and attractive shade of red.
Elsie stifled a smile. She had definitely not fallen in love with a poet, but he had so many other gute qualities, how could she complain? “You love me?”
“With all my heart.”
She thought she might burst. “And I love you too, Sam Sensenig.”
The warmth in his eyes could have set the forest on fire. He leaned across the desk and laid a perfect kiss on her mouth. She’d never been kissed by a boy in her life, and three in one night was quite intoxicating. “There’s no gute reason for you to love me, but I’m glad all the same,” he said.
She tapped her finger to her forehead and looked at the ceiling. “Let’s see. You’re wonderful handsome, but that doesn’t make up for your bad temper. You’re the most stubborn person I know, and you tend to yell at people you’ve only just met. You’re fiercely loyal to the ones you love, but you’re too hard on yourself.”
He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. “Like I said. There’s no gute reason for you to love me.”
She stared at their hands until she felt his gaze on her. She slowly looked up and into his eyes. They were so full of hope and happiness that she had to blink back the tears. Could anyone in the world be as happy as she was at this moment?
He stood up so fast he bumped his knee on her desk. “I have to go before you change your mind about loving me.”
“I’m not going to change my mind.”
“Then before I lose all sanity and kiss you again. The bishop would never approve.”
Elsie smiled. “What the bishop doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
Sam stopped rubbing his knee and eyed her as if he liked the idea, then he seemed to think better of it. “Wanting to kiss you this bad must be a sin. I’d better go home.”
He looked so earnest that Elsie had to giggle. Sam was right. Kissing made her altogether too giddy and too head-over-heels to think rationally. “Okay. If you say so.”
“But can I see you tomorrow?”
“I’d like that. But it’s Saturday. There’s no gute excuse.”
“The gute excuse is that I love you.”
Her pulse raced just hearing him say it.
“You can come tutor Wally tomorrow,” Sam said. “He’s farther behind than ever.”
“I’d like that.”
“Maybe I will hire you to tutor everyone in my family. Then you can come every day.”
Sam helped her on with her coat, and she extinguished the propane floor lantern. There was still a little light outside, but it was almost full dark in the schoolhouse. He gave her his arm as they walked down the stairs together. Before he opened the door, he surprised her by tugging her into an embrace and kissing her senseless. When he drew away, she couldn’t for the life of her remember her own name.
“I love you, Elsie Stutzman,” he whispered.
Elsie Stutzman. That was her name.
“I love you too.” She tied her bonnet into place and put on her gloves. It would be a cold ride home.
“I should follow you home,” he said. “It’s almost dark.”
“I’ll be all right. It’s not that far.”
Even in the dimness, she could see his bright smile. “I don’t even know where you live.”
“Do you know Anna and Felty Helmuth? They’re my grandparents.”
“Umm . . .”
Elsie gasped as a face appeared at the window and someone rapped on the door with thundering determination. “Sam?” Rose’s muffled voice was loud enough to hear in the next schoolhouse over. “Sam? Is everything all right?”
Sam stiffened and stepped away while Elsie opened the door and Rose barreled her way into the school. There wasn’t much room between the door and the steps up to the classroom, but since Rose insisted on coming in, the three of them squeezed awkwardly into what little space
they had.
Rose looked both of them up and down and sniffed her displeasure. A flurry of snow drifted from her bonnet. “I was worried when you didn’t come back. Wally and Reuben would have eaten all the yummasetti if I hadn’t made them save you some.”
Elsie bit her bottom lip. Sam said he loved her, but where did Rose fit in? She cooked for the Sensenigs so often, she might as well have lived there. And it was as plain as Wally’s missing leg that Rose was in love with Sam. Where did that leave Elsie? The thought stole some of her happiness, even though Sam had just kissed her like he’d meant it. Her breathing still hadn’t slowed to normal.
Sam’s mouth twitched into an awkward, painful smile. “Denki for making sure the boys got fed.”
“You’ve got to come now or you won’t get your share,” Rose said, sticking out her bottom lip as if she were the one who wasn’t going to get any.
“I’m going to make sure Elsie gets home first.” Sam opened the door and ushered Rose out into the cold.
Elsie followed and locked the door behind them.
Rose narrowed her eyes in Elsie’s direction. “Miss Stutzman knows how to get to her own house, and you need to take me home. I walked.”
Sam’s forehead creased with irritation. “You walked?”
She nodded. “It’s wonderful cold out here.”
Sam frowned, and his eyes flashed with anger. Elsie had seen that look when she had accused him of being unreasonable and short-tempered. “You’ll have to wait here while I see Elsie home. I’ll come back and get you.”
Rose stuck her lip out even farther and glanced at Elsie with barely disguised hostility. “But Sam, it’s too cold to wait. Do you want your best friend to get frostbite?”
Elsie was not going to play a game of “Let’s See Who Sam Likes Best” with Rose Mast. “It’s okay, Sam. My grandparents’ house isn’t far, and it’s not even dark yet.”
“Jah,” Rose said, a smug smile tugging at her mouth. “Miss Stutzman goes home by herself every day. You don’t have to coddle her.”
A Courtship on Huckleberry Hill Page 27
