“Yeah, so, I have a sister.”
“A sister?”
“Yeah.”
My hands found its way to the back of my neck and I rubbed at the skin nervously. It was strange to think these people, my best friends, knew nothing about me. It wasn’t even their fault either because they’d tried for years to learn more about me, but I preferred for my past to stay in the past. They didn’t need to become caught up in my history.
Tyler’s eyebrow shot up into his hairline. “Is she hot?”
I glared at him. “Not cool. At all. She’s special to me, Ty.”
“Of course she is.” He held his hands up innocently. “Jesus, I’m kidding. Relax.”
“Just wanted to give you a heads up, that’s all.”
Truth was, the only people I ever trusted around my sister were my family and, at one time, Jenny. It damn near broke my heart because Alyssa had loved Jenny. In fact, I wondered if she’d been even more affected than me when Jenny disappeared.
It was now or never, and I took a deep breath before we made our way up the steps. Before I even raised my fist to knock, the door flew open.
“Robert?”
“Mom.”
“Robert?” Tyler whispered from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and glared at him. That wiped the smirk off his face.
“I’m so surprised to see you.” She turned her head and yelled, “Jim, Alyssa! Robert’s here!”
She directed her attention back to me before enveloping me in one of her full of love hugs. “I’m so glad to see you,” she said into my neck. “This is such a nice surprise!” She pushed back to take a look at me. “You look great. Well, besides your eye.”
I forgot about my shiner. Awesome.
“Thanks, Mom.”
She looked over at Tyler. “And this is…”
“Tyler, Mom. Mom, Tyler.”
“Oh my goodness!”
Before Tyler could speak a word she’d wrapped her arms around him, well the best she could. Since his vow of his celibacy, Tyler had spent a lot more time at the gym and had packed on another fifteen pounds of muscle. Not that I could blame him for the extra workouts—he needed to get the sexual frustration out somehow.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you. Did Shane and Emma come?”
Poor Mom. She hated the fact that she didn’t know much about my other world, but I hadn’t really seen the need to blend the two together. She knew the bare minimum about the people most important in my life in New York, but that was it.
“No, Mom. Emma’s pregnant again, remember?”
“Oh, that’s right. Well, come in, come in!”
We stepped inside and I practically heard Tyler choking on his disbelief. That was saying something, because I’d seen Tyler’s childhood home and that wasn’t necessarily something to blink at either. Tyler came from money and, growing up, he didn’t go without. But… yeah. My house was pretty impressive.
My Dad joined us and stuck his hand out. “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. Straight from the big city.” He pulled me into one of those awkward manly handshake hugs.
“Hey, Pops.”
The sound of elephant-like footsteps let me know that not only was she coming, she was running too. The openness of the entrance hall made her high-pitched voice echo and I could hear her singing Katy Perry. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tyler’s face bunch in confusion as he heard it too. I could tell he was trying to figure it out. Wondering how old my sister might be, what she might look like, and why I’d never thought to mention her before.
I punched him in the arm. “Play it cool.”
This was met with more confusion from him.
“Robbie! Robbie! Robbbbbbbiiiiiiieeeeeee!” she screeched loudly once she came into sight at the top of the stairs. Without watching where her feet were landing, she skipped down and raced towards me.
I braced. It wasn’t uncommon for Alyssa to knock me on my ass when giving me that first hug.
“Hey, Lys. Looking just as beautiful as ever.”
She pushed herself into my arms—well, leaped would have been a more accurate description. It was all I could do to keep myself upright.
“Quit kissing my ass, Rob, I’m not an idiot.” She broke our embrace and looked up at me. “I’ve got ‘Get Down Syndrome, remember?” She did her signature dance move, the one that we’d come up with to go along with the fun name we’d given her condition when we were kids.
I laughed, but my mom clicked her tongue. “Alyssa, we’ve talked about this. You can’t use that sort of language.”
“Why not? Rob taught it to me.”
She had me there. I’d done that. She was twenty-one and she deserved to have a little fun, get into a little trouble, be a little bad. That’s what big brothers were for, right?
“Robert!” Mom snapped but the smile on her face let me know she was only joking. I shrugged. She’d grown to expect my “live life to the fullest” attitude. Especially when it came to Alyssa. I was nine when she was born, and hadn’t understood all the fuss. Everyone talked had held hushed conversations about how “something was wrong” with her, but to me she was perfect. Finally, when Mom and Dad had sat me down to finally explain it all to me, I still hadn’t seen what the big deal was and I’d told them as much. As far as I was concerned, she was my sister—extra chromosome or not.
Looking back on it, I get that the diagnosis and everything that went along with it must have been hard on my parents. Alyssa would never be able to live on her own and be “normal” like other girls her age, but she still deserved to live her life. I’d helped her score her first beer last Christmas. Mom and Dad had been pissed and gave me so much shit, but just remembering her face, lit up brighter than our tree, I would do it all again. Totally worth it.
“Who’s the stud?” Alyssa asked once she stopped dancing.
“Play it cool, sis. Let them come to you.” I smiled, then waited to see how Tyler would handle it.
“So you’re Rob’s sister? I’m his roommate, Tyler.” He offered his hand for her to shake, but I knew without a doubt that she wouldn’t take it. She was gonna bear hug him in three… two…
Yep, there it was.
What could I say? My family were huggers.
They broke their embrace and Alyssa looked up at him eagerly. “I’ve always wanted to meet you guys. Rob’s so stingy with his friends.” She leans into Tyler as though she’s going to tell him a secret. “He never could share.”
We made our way to the living room where we laughed and visited for bit. Alyssa eventually convinced Tyler to go check out her vinyl record collection in her room, which was out above the garage now. She’d gone loco on Mom and Dad a few months back, demanding a little more freedom. They, of course, being the awesome parents they were, gave into her.
Once we were alone, the tension in the room built exponentially.
“So, are you going to tell us why you’re here, son?” my dad finally asked.
I shrugged. “Can’t I just show up for a visit?”
“We know you better than that,” Mom added.
“You never come just to visit,” Dad said simply, and it made me feel more than a little guilty. “So, out with it.”
“You’re not going to believe it.”
“Try us.”
“I found Jenny.”
My mom put her hand to her mouth in shock. Dad’s face turned a dark shade of red.
“Why would you go looking for her?” he yelled.
“I didn’t, she just fell into my lap. Well, not technically, but she works at the coffee shop that Emma goes to all the time. Can you believe that? What are the chances?”
My father shook his head. “Keep your distance, son. Jenny Jenkins is nothing but bad news.”
“I know, Dad.” I forced a smile. “I just needed reminding of that.”
He reached over and slapped my knee. “I’m sure seeing her brought up lots of old feelings, and I can understand that, but you have to re
member that things happened for a reason. You and her never worked. What went down was hard, for sure, but it was for the best.”
We talked for a little longer, just casually chatting about what was going on with me. Even though they’d made no secret of their dislike for Jenny, my parents had never forced me to choose between them, and the fact that they continued to look out for my best interests, even after all the shit I’d put them through back then, meant the world to me.
“Thanks, guys. This was exactly what I needed.”
Mom leaned over and kissed my cheek. “We love you, sweetie.”
“I guess we should go rescue Tyler before Alyssa puts the moves on him.”
After eating supper with my family, Tyler and I made our way back to the apartment. The visit was too short and both Mom and Alyssa had tried to get us to stay but I used the excuse of work the next morning to justify us leaving early. Just a quick day trip, that’s all it had taken to remind me of the heartache and the resolve I’d had all those years ago. Initially I’d planned on staying overnight—I was grateful I’d left my bag in the trunk—but after my conversation with Mom and Dad I’d realized I didn’t need any more time to remember that I didn’t need her. Without a doubt I knew I didn’t need to take a trip down memory lane with Jenny. Those days were long gone.
Despite my anger about everything that had gone on between us, I’d hung onto her for a while, letting my feelings influence my life choices when I should have just moved on. But once I’d finished my first year of college and made the decision to transfer to NYU, I had turned a new leaf so to speak. Sure, I’d continued to look for her, but it wasn’t because I missed her. It was because I always wondered. She’d been the one that got away, that was it. And now that I’d found her, I could actually move on and be happy. That was the plan anyway.
Fuck Jenny Jenkins. She’d hurt me too damn much to let her start messing with my mind again.
I unlocked the front door and let Tyler go ahead of me. “Thanks for today, man.”
“No problem. I’m glad you let me tag along. I guess it was my turn to be there for you for a change. And I love your family! Like seriously, why have you kept them a secret all these years?”
“Haven’t you learned by now, I’m terrible at sharing.”
We laughed and said good-night. I made my way to my room before finally collapsing onto the bed. I didn’t have to lay there long before sleep finally overtook me.
She takes another long haul off the vodka bottle and offers it to me but I put my hand up to refuse.
“Loosen up, babe. We’re supposed to be celebrating,” she slurs.
“Seems like you’re celebrating enough for the both of us now.”
I immediately regret saying anything.
She spits in my direction. “Fuck you.”
And now we’re fighting.
“Jesus Christ, Jenny, can you ever just be normal?!”
Even as drunk as she is, she manages to climb onto the hood of my car and take another swig of vodka. “Never good enough for you am I, Robbie. I never have quite fit your perfect mold?”
“Don’t turn this around on me, Jenny. You’re the one that’s fuckin’ crazy. Get down and get in the car. I’m taking you home.”
“Make me.”
I roll my eyes. She’s infuriatingly crazy. I go to grab her but she quickly escapes my hands. She giggles but, not for the first time, she’s the only one that finds any of this amusing.
“Seriously, Jenny, just get the fuck down. It’s almost one in the morning. I’m ready to go home.” I grab for her again and miss. This shit has to stop. I feel my blood boil and I jump on the hood and scoop her in my arms.
“About time you hugged me,” she teases, and her tongue darts out to lick just behind my ear. My resolve weakens slightly and I hate that she has this effect on me. Any issue we have between the two of us always ends up being resolved with sex. It’s the thing we’re best at—well, that, and fighting. In the brief moments that my mind has been elsewhere she’s managed to undo my belt buckle and I feel the cool night air around my thighs as she drags my jeans down my legs.
“Jenny,” I say in warning but she ignores me and drops to her knees, her hands finding their way to my ass and pulling me closer. When she takes me in her mouth my head drops back and I let out a low moan, all thoughts of taking her home leaving my mind.
She may be the most infuriating woman on the planet. She may press my buttons like no one else I’ve ever known. But there is no denying that we fit. I am hers, and she is mine. I love her.
Which is the exact reason why, instead of taking my extremely drunk girlfriend home like I should, I just weave my fingers into her hair and enjoy the moment.
For the third time tonight.
Sitting bolt upright in bed I gasped for air.
Damn dreams.
I rubbed my eyes in a vain attempt to kick-start my brain. I needed to get a grip. The memories were overtaking me, and not in a good way. I needed to be rid of Jenny Jenkins once and for all. I needed to let her go.
I needed closure.
Wondering if I had time, I glanced at the alarm clock. It was a little after 5 a.m. I had plenty of time. Before I had time to convince myself that it was a bad idea, I was out of bed, dressed and out the door.
Heading straight for SoHo.
I saw her hair before I saw her face. I mean you couldn’t miss it. It had been the first thing I’d noticed back then, and it was still the most endearing thing about her. That orange hair symbolized everything that I ever loved about Jenny—her free spirit, and the fact that she didn’t give a shit about what was socially acceptable. Jenny always just did what she wanted. She was impulsive and reckless, not to mention crazy as shit in the sack. Fuckin’ Christ, she still made me crazy. Obviously, seeing as I was in SoHo at the ass crack of dawn.
I took a deep breath and went in. When she saw me her hands stilled and her eyes went wide. I made my way to the counter.
“I hope you’ve come to get coffee,” she snapped.
I handed her over some money and ordered the first thing that came to mind.
“I’ll take a venti black.” Black coffee was disgusting but it didn’t matter because I didn’t plan on drinking it anyway.
Our fingers touched as she took the money from my hand and a jolt ran up my arm, causing me to shiver.
“I didn’t think you’d come back.”
“Me either but we’ve got some shit to talk about. Can you take a break?”
“I just started my shift—” she started to argue.
“We can talk here then.”
That did it. She didn’t want to make a scene, but she knew me intimately and had learned the hard way that I was stubborn as fuck. She wasn’t about to get out of talking to me and she knew it. She huffed in annoyance.
“Fine, I’ll go tell my boss I need a few.”
Another barista delivered me my coffee and I made my way to a table in the back of the shop. I wanted to think we could talk civilly, but if I knew us that would be a challenge in itself. The coffee sat untouched as I watched her talk to some dude, probably her boss, behind the counter. A small grin pulled at my lips as I watched her carve the air, talking with her hands just like she always had.
Eventually he motioned for her to go, so she wiped her hands on her apron as she approached my table. She sat across from me without a word, which was saying a lot for Jenny because she always had some smart-ass comment.
“So, I’ve come here to get some closure.”
“You want closure? Great, then I can make this simple for you, Robert. You were young. I was a good lay. You got tangled up in some feelings, and I made poor choices. End of story. Can I go back to work now?”
I should have known this was a bad idea.
“What the fuck, Jenny? Can’t you act mature for just one second?”
“So we’re back to that?”
“Back to what?” I asked.
“Me, not fitting
your mold.”
“Oh my God! How do you do that? Always turning shit around.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s because I’m fucked up, remember? Surely you of all people can’t have forgotten all the things that are wrong with me?”
Throughout our tumultuous relationship, Jenny had managed to bring my emotions to the surface. There was something about her that made it impossible for me to keep them in check. It appeared that time had not lessened her talent because I felt the anger rising in me again. She made my blood boil like no other, and not in the good way.
“Jesus Christ, I don’t know why I even bothered coming here?”
“To be honest, I don’t know why you did either.”
I pounded my fist on the tabletop and she jumped a bit. The noise was louder than I’d intended and a few of the other customers turned to look at us. I felt the heat of her glare and relented slightly, turning to look around the room and offering a sheepish grin. A few people shook their heads, but most had returned to their own business straight away. This was New York—people had their own shit to deal with.
“Jenny, I just want to know where you went?”
“I told you.”
“Why didn’t I hear from you? I tried calling, writing, emailing. I never heard a word.”
“Because I didn’t want to talk to you. Don’t you get it, Rob? You and I were never anything more than a bit of fun. I like fun, but it ended and now you’re not fun. Obviously. In fact, I’m beginning to think you’re quite a drag.”
My teeth dug into my tongue so hard I thought it might actually start bleeding. She was lying and I knew it. And besides, I was totally fun. I was a motherfuckin’ blast in a glass.
“So that’s it? All these years gone by, and that’s what I get for an explanation? It was fun.”
“What do you want me to say, Rob? I went through a lot of shit because of you.”
“That’s not fair. That wasn’t just because of me.”
“Not directly.”
By this point, I’d had enough. She was being ridiculous. “You’re more of a cold-hearted bitch now than you used to be.”
Imperfectly Bad Page 6
