Imperfectly Bad

by A. E. Woodward

  “It’s okay, Rob, it’s not too late for you.”

  Without any doubt, I knew I needed to be there for Jenny, and for the baby that could possibly be mine. I needed to save her from making the biggest mistake of her life. While she and I may not be meant to be together, I needed to see it through this time. This time things could be different. This time there would be no bad ending.

  Knowing that this was my opportunity to make things right in the father department, I placed my hand on Layla’s cheek, and a single tear rolled down her face. I swiped it away with my thumb.

  “I will never forget what you did for me, Layla,” I managed to choke out as the tears started falling faster from her eyes. It was the truth, Layla had kept me from self-destructing. She allowed me to live as my world came crashing down around me. There was no doubt, Layla had been my guardian angel. My light when I needed it most. She had saved me from my own worst enemy, myself. Watching her cry in front of me, I knew without a doubt that she felt it too, and suddenly the pain in my chest increased tenfold. “I love—”

  “Don’t,” she said. “It will just make this so much harder.” She smiled, in spite of her apparent heartbreak, and wiped the tears from her face. It couldn’t be easy, thinking that your place in a relationship served only to fill a void, to hold a space for someone else. I wanted her to know that my feelings for her were real. That although it had started out as something fun, it had turned into so much more than that for me. But I would just have to trust that she felt it too.

  “Now go get her, before it’s too late,” she urged, a smile still on her face.

  I kissed her forehead and grabbed the keys from the counter before I made my way to the door. But I stopped short, something keeping me from moving further. I was frozen, unable to separate myself from Layla just yet. I needed her in my life, call me greedy, or stupid, but Layla was the key to my future. She gave me strength, and I knew that whatever happened, I needed her in my life, in whatever way I could get it.

  “I can’t do this without you. I can’t say goodbye to you, Layla. I still need you. Jenny and I might not be over, but neither are you and I.”

  Silence surrounded us and I felt time slipping away again. Jenny was about to make the biggest mistake of her life and I needed to help her see that. Marrying Bradley would be far worse than marrying and divorcing me combined. I just knew that if she went through with it she would lose herself forever, and with a baby involved I needed to help her make things right. It was then that I realized it wasn’t about me wanting to be in a relationship with Jenny—it was about my undying love for her. It was my devotion to her, to help her when she needed it. When she needed a friend.

  If there was one thing I’d learned from Tyler, Shane and Emma, it was the magic of friendship. Friends are there for each other no matter what. Through heartache and fights, you never give up on someone you love. And I love my friends—just like I love Jenny.

  “This isn’t about me getting Jenny back,” I explained, the sudden clarity causing the words to rush from my mouth. “It’s about righting our mistakes. I don’t know how she’s going to react to me putting it all out there, but I do know that I want you. Please?” I begged.

  Layla sighed again, standing from the couch without hesitation. She shook her head, faking exasperation. “When have I ever been able to say no to you?”

  Feeling like the weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed. She nestled her face into my neck, and I felt it deep within that I was making the right choice. Saving Jenny from Bradley was important, but more importantly I needed to have Layla by my side.

  We moved quickly to my car and before I knew it I was barreling down the streets of New York City. How had I managed to get myself into this position, again? I’d reached that place. You know the one I’m talking about. The place that no one should ever reach. The bottomless pit of despair. But this time it was going to be different. This time, I wasn’t letting Jenny get away. I couldn’t let her make the same mistakes again. I refused to.

  The rain pelted down on the roof of the car, drowning out the radio. Fuckin’ rain. It’d been raining for days—ironic, since it perfectly matched my mood. Seeing the time on the clock on the dash, I knew I needed to get to the hotel, and fast. I had called all over the city to locate the Jenkins/Douchebag wedding. Thank God it only took twenty calls before I located them. It could have been far worse, and I could have spent the entire night making calls and she would have slipped through my fingers, taking something precious along with her, again.

  As I drove I realized how scared I was. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing Jenny again. It had taken me a while but I’d finally come to grips with that. The pull between us was magnetic, and I knew that she needed to be in my life in some way. She was all sorts of crazy, but that was what I loved about her. She made me feel alive. Having her near me again was like a breath of fresh air in my stifled life. It was like I was being offered a do-over. A second chance.

  But for that to happen I needed Jenny to stay, to not run away again. I would be there for her this time, whatever way that might be, and we were going to make things right. And this time, I’d have Layla by my side.

  “Rob, slow down. Please. You’re scaring me.”

  Completely lost to my emotions, I’d forgotten that Layla was in the car with me. As strange as it may sound, as much as I needed Jenny, I needed Layla more. She was the strength that made my love stronger. She showed me that my heart could heal. She’d breathed life back into me, and allowed my heart to love again. She was the one who had saved me when everyone else had turned their backs.

  My Layla.

  The whole situation was all kinds of confusing, and I didn’t know how I was going to do this. All three of us had a lot to work on, and shit to figure out. How was I going to keep Jenny in my life, all while keeping Layla by my side? I needed to be there for Jenny, to do the right thing by her, but my love for Layla was clouding my judgment. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I looked down at the ID.

  Shane.

  I considered not answering it, but my conscience got the better of me and I picked up.

  “Rob?” he shouted. “Where are you?”

  “I’m out.”

  “Obviously, shithead, since we’re all at your apartment and you’re not here. What are you doing?”

  “I can’t let Jenny do it, Shane. I just cant. She doesn’t have to be with me, but she can’t be with him.”

  Layla reached over and placed her hand on my leg in an attempt to comfort me, but I was beyond comforting, even for Layla. To think that Jenny could be throwing her life away with that douchebag of a man made my stomach turn.

  “I was wondering how long it was going to take you to realize that. You’re being selfless and doing the right thing. I’m proud of you, man.”

  “Thanks, but can we save this sentimental bullshit for some other time? I’m driving like a madman through the city at the moment. My time’s running out.”

  “We’ll be waiting for you when you’re done. We’re always here for you. You know that, right?”

  A lump formed in my throat. Embracing my emotions was hard enough at the best of times, and I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve such great people that cared about me like they did. But I never doubted their friendship. Ever.

  “Yeah, I do. Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  I clicked end just as my cell slipped from hands and fell to my feet.

  “Shit.”

  “I’ll get it,” Layla offered, reaching to the floor between my legs.

  “No, I’ll get it.”

  I brushed her hands away and kicked my feet around, trying to move the phone so it was easier to reach, but it was useless. Finally, I used my left hand and reached down to try and grab it. Glancing away from the road for a split second, I saw it flashing, the light illuminating the floor.

  Incoming call.

  “Unknown Number” flashed on the I
D and I knew it was her. I bent down a little further, needing to answer the call. A hundred possibilities flitted through my mind. Maybe she’d changed her mind? Maybe, just maybe, she was feeling the same thing I was? If she was, it would make this all that much easier.

  My hand made contact and I quickly answered it while sitting back up.

  “Yeah.”

  “Rob?”

  The rain poured down harder, making it impossible for me to see. “Jenny?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” she whispered on the other end.

  “Jenny, don’t do it. You’re making a mistake. Let me be there for you. Let’s figure this out. I love you for who you are, I always have. I don’t know where we stand, or what we are, but we’ll make it work.”

  “I need to tell you something—”

  “Rob!”

  Layla’s scream startled me and as the windshield wipers cleared the rain, I saw it.

  The back of a bus.

  “Fuck.”

  “We’re here for Rob Ziviani.” Shane gestured toward Tyler and Emma standing behind him. The nurse behind the desk looked up at him solemnly and he knew it was bad.

  “Can I get your name?” she asked.

  “Shane. Shane Strout.”

  “Are you family?”

  “No, not technically, but we’re all he’s got here.” Shane’s jaw ticked. He was annoyed that she was asking questions instead of giving them the information they wanted. “How is he?”

  The nurse smiled weakly, trying to cover her mood but it was pointless. The tone of her voice said it all. “Wait here one second, let me go get the doctor.”

  Answering with a curt nod, Shane turned back to his friends. Emma’s face was red and splotchy. Ever since they’d gotten the call she hadn’t been able to stop crying. It had been years since he’d seen her this upset and the feeling was unsettling. He was trying to be strong for her, but seeing her so broken up was hard to handle. The hormones weren’t helping either. She was a mess, but he couldn’t blame her because he was only holding on by a thin thread himself.

  Instinct told him to put his own feelings aside and comfort his wife. It was the right decision because he’d taken not two steps toward her when she threw herself into his arms and started sobbing again.

  “Oh my God, Shane.” Her body convulsed and she damn near choked on her tears. “Not Rob.”

  “We don’t know anything yet, Em,” he whispered softly into her hair. “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”

  But jumping to conclusion was all they had done since Tyler had taken the phone call. The three of them had been eating pizza, waiting for Rob to return, hoping that Jenny and Layla would be by his side. But they hadn’t heard from him.

  Shane glanced up to see Tyler talking frantically talking on his cell, presumably with Elizabeth. She’d be showing up soon. She would want to be there to support her sister and Tyler. The recent change in Elizabeth’s demeanor had been a surprise, but a pleasant one, and he was pleased to see her stepping up.

  Emma was still crying into his chest when Shane saw Jenny come around the corner. His breath escaped his lungs. Nudging Emma, she lifted her eyes and saw her too. They looked at her curiously, knowing that she should have been at her wedding, but it looked like she’d made her choice—and the right one at that.

  Jenny stood there looking at the gang, obviously wanting to speak but unsure of exactly what to say.

  “Emma?” she finally managed to choke out. The tears pooled in her eyes.

  Knowing that the two of them shared a coffee bond, the guys watched as Emma went to her. “Oh, Jenny.” She wrapped her arms around Jenny like they were old friends. Which, in a way, they were.

  “I was on the phone with him, I was calling to tell him…” Jenny paused just before a sob escaped her lips. “I wasn’t going to marry Bradley, Emma. In fact, I’d already broken it off. After I saw Rob this morning, I told Bradley to take a hike. I made an appointment to dye my hair back, put my nose ring back in. I was never really going to go through with it. Bradley was just a game, a way for me to hide my true feelings. I was going to come clean to Rob…” She was gasping for breath. “I didn’t get to say it. He answered and then it happened.”

  Shane watched on as Emma pulled Jenny in close, hugging her because it was all she could do. There was nothing else anybody could do to help ease the pain they all felt.

  “He was coming for you,” Shane said without thinking. Deep down he knew she had a right to know. No matter what happened, she needed to know that Rob hadn’t been ready to let her go.

  “Shane Strout?” He turned in the direction of the voice.

  “Yeah, that’s me.”

  “Are you all here for Mr. Ziviani?” the doctor asked while flipping through a chart, presumably Rob’s.

  “Yes,” Tyler added as they all walked toward the doctor.

  “All right, you all can follow me.”

  The voice in the back of Shane’s head was telling him that this wasn’t a good sign. If everything was fine, the doctor would have given them information in the waiting room. He couldn’t help but wonder where he was taking them. Shane felt Emma slide her hand into his and squeeze and he could tell she was thinking the same thing.

  The doctor opened a door and motioned for the group to head in. Tyler cleared his throat and stopped dead in his tracks.

  “I can’t go in there, Shane. I can’t. I know why they bring people to these rooms!”

  A sob escaped Emma’s throat. Seeing Tyler reach his breaking point was not something anyone would want to see. With a curt nod, Shane motioned for her and Jenny to go ahead of him. “Can we have a minute?” he asked the doctor. Nodding solemnly, the doctor left them alone and entered the room with the girls.

  Tyler immediately started spouting off. “I won’t, Shane. I won’t go in there.” Tears fell from his eyes as he slid down the wall. All 260 pounds of him collapsed with a thud and he threw his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking as his emotions took control.

  Kneeling down in front of him, Shane rested his hand on the back of Tyler’s neck. Putting his forehead to his friend’s, Shane spoke quietly. “I know, man, I know. It sucks. But we don’t know anything yet.”

  “Yes we do, Shane. He’s gone. I can feel it.”

  He was right because deep down Shane could feel it too. Something wasn’t right, and it wasn’t just because they were in a hospital. The gang had been all so connected, so in tune with each other, that Rob’s absence was easily felt.

  “I know. But we’re gonna do it. We’re going to go in there, together, just like we always do.”

  Tyler looked up at Shane, his face tear-stained and ghostly pale. He nodded and Shane offered his hand to help him stand up and they made their way into the room where Emma and Jenny were already huddled together, holding hands.

  “Why don’t you guys take a seat,” the doctor said as he shifted in his seat across from the girls.

  Tyler and Shane immediately complied.

  Snapping the chart shut, the doctor sighed, “I’ve spoken with some of the nurses and they’ve agreed to let you wait in here until I can give you further news. I understand that Mr. Ziviani’s family is on their way, and as soon as I update them, they can decide what information to share with you all.”

  Before his words could sink in, Tyler was up and angrily pointing at the doctor. “No freakin’ way!”

  The doctor stood defensively. “I’m going to need you to calm down, sir.”

  “No fuckin’ way, buddy. He’s our brother, and we have a right to know what the fuck is happening with him.”

  The doctor sighed and shook his head, obviously hating his job.

  Shane decided that perhaps he could be the voice of reason. Taking a deep breath in order to remain calm, he started. “We’ve been his roommates for years, sir. We’re family, and if he were able he would tell you that himself. Rob Ziviani married us.” He pointed to Emma. “He’s my kid’s godfather. He’s been in every big momen
t of our lives and we need to know if he’s gone or not so we can start trying to heal ourselves.”

  “Please.” Jenny sobbed into the air.

  The doctor, being human, sighed and sat back down.

  “Your friend was traveling at high speed, much higher than he should have been, and he hit the back of a bus. He wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and he sustained serious head injuries. He’s currently in a coma, and it doesn’t look good. I’m sorry.”

  And with those words, Shane lost it. Right there. Knowing that Rob was lying somewhere in a coma, possibly entering his final hours, was just too much for him to handle. Shane was supposed to be the strong one, he knew that, but it was no longer bearable. He dropped to his knees, allowing all the memories they’d shared to come flooding back to him…

  “Okay, that’s it!” Rob yells.

  Shane jumps as the front door slams shut behind him.

  “I’ve had enough of this bullshit,” Rob continues. “Either you go tell that girl why you’ve been such a jackass for the past ten months, or I will!”

  “He’s right, Shane,” Tyler adds. “The hostility here has got to end… like, now.”

  They were right. Shane knew he needed to come clean. His friendship with Emma was already crumbling because of his secret feelings. Besides, at that point Shane no longer had anything else to lose…

  Rob had given Shane the courage to finally buck up and be a man. He didn’t know if he would ever have had the nerve to come clean to Emma without the extra push from his friends. Well, he probably would have eventually. But without them, the timing may have never been right.

  Then there had been the baby powder incident…

  Before Tyler knows what is happening he is hit with an onslaught of white powder. Stunned, he stops in his tracks as Shane shakes bottles of powder over his drenched body. “Baby powder,” Tyler laughs, his anger slowly subsiding while he sits back down on the edge of his bed.