Eden's Root

by Rachel Fisher

  Fi knew that all this love and connection was filling a hole for these orphans. It helped to ease the burden of their father’s death. They had lost their mother, but neither really remembered having to watch her get Sick or die. Despite their loss, Fi counted them as fortunate for having missed that experience. But their father, the one who was really both their parents their whole lives, that loss was a heavy burden. To see him killed in front of them and then have to flee, to leave him behind. No funeral, no dignity, no time, just goodbye forever. At night, Mayra would cry in her sleep and Jose would rub her hand and soothe her.

  “Cálmete niña,” he would murmur, “Cálmete. Estamos a salvo.”

  The Big Raid

  Back Up Plan

  ----------- Fi -----------

  Fi sat down on the dusty couch and coughed. She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, her loose grey tank top shifting almost off her thin shoulders. She yanked her braid free and pulled the elastic through the tank straps in the back, pulling them tight. Everyone filed in for the Family Meeting. John helped a weary Maggie to recline on the end of the sofa next to Fi. Some Members carried chairs from the dining room and kitchen, while all of the children except Rachel arranged themselves on the floor. Rachel, they had decided, was best left to rest upstairs as much as possible. Once everyone was settled, she began.

  “It’s time to discuss what comes next.” Fi felt a sense of trepidation wash over her. “It’s spring and it’s warm enough now that we can continue on our trip to find Eden.” The Family murmured, but many just nodded. They all knew this was coming, she thought. “So as your Leader, it’s my decision that we get ready and that we leave within no more than ten days.” Scanning the faces in the room she saw that they appeared serious, but no one gasped or frowned. “I want to give us plenty of time to make our way all the way to Eden before it gets too cold.”

  No one needed her to say more than that. How they were going to get Maggie and Rachel moving along with them was going to be a major question. They would probably have to move very slowly, increasing the urgency of an early departure.

  “I know that it hasn’t always been easy here,” Fi waved at their surroundings. To be honest, that was an understatement. The winter had been harsh and very cold, and the resources had been scarce. They were all thin and tired, and ill-prepared to set out on a cross-country trek. She continued, “But it’s been stable, it has been a Home, and that has been nice.” Several more murmurs accompanied Fi’s statement. Zoe bounced up and down on her knees in nervous response, aware that something big was up. Fi shook her head.

  “I know,” she said, “that you did not all know about the Eden plan before you joined the Family. I just don’t think it’s fair to order anyone to follow me there. If I’m honest, I can’t be absolutely sure that we will find Eden before winter, and we might have to endure in another shelter.” With a deep sigh, she admitted the truth aloud. On some level, it felt good to finally do so. “I can’t even guarantee that we will actually ever find Eden, or that they will take us in if we do,” she paused. Aliyah nodded, giving her encouragement. Sitting up straighter, Fi pushed forward.

  “But I believe in Eden,” her voice grew fervent. It was true. She believed everything her father had told her. She had seen the note from Louis herself. “And I’m going to leave to seek it. I just wanted you all to think about it realistically and then vote. Adults obviously vote for their children on this one.” The Family discussed it, and Aliyah put it to a vote. The vote was universally, ‘Ay’, to Fi’s surprise.

  “Are you sure?” she asked, her face knotted in concern. “This is the time and place to be honest.” She turned to Jose. “Jose? You and Mayra just joined us, and you’re capable of making it on your own without Eden. Do you really want to come with us all, do you want to guide us all to this mythical place?” Jose looked shocked.

  “Fi,” he stammered, “Of course we want to come with you!” Mayra’s beautiful dark head nodded in agreement. “Fi,” Jose smiled. “You said it yourself, we didn’t know about Eden when we joined your Family. We joined because we wanted to be with you, we wanted to be with others, and we wanted to be useful. I promise you Fi that Mayra and I can not only get you there, we can find Eden for you.” He took a breath and met the gaze of everyone in the room. “If Eden exists and your father’s coordinates were close we will definitely find it. He turned to his sister. “Right m’ija?” He asked, his hand up for a high-five. She slapped his hand and smiled.

  “Right bro,” she agreed. Though Fi was touched by everyone’s willingness to follow her, it also made her more nervous. One thing at a time, she thought.

  “Ok then,” she said, when suddenly Maggie broke out into a violent fit of coughing. Aliyah and Lucy both sprang up to grab water from the bucket in the kitchen. Fi rubbed Maggie’s shoulders while she recovered and regained her breath. Aliyah appeared with a cup of water with Lucy following close behind with a blanket. All eyes were on Maggie, and Fi could see the terror in Kiara’s eyes. Fi smiled and mouthed ‘It’s ok’ to try to calm her down. Kiara frowned, her face pink with stress, and then nodded.

  “Here you go,” Aliyah said kindly, handing the cup to Maggie to sip. Once Maggie had been made comfortable, Fi began again.

  “So we all agree that we are going to do our best to find Eden this summer,” she started. “The next order of business Sean already knows about,” Fi nodded at him. He bowed his head in acknowledgement. “But most of you do not. Firstly, it should be obvious that Sean and I will need to conduct one or several raids this week before we all leave. We have few resources and will still need some rations until the game returns and the land is fertile again and can help to support us.” The adults all nodded in agreement. This made sense.

  She continued. “My plan is to conduct one large raid to set us up for the beginning of the trip, perhaps to help take us all the way there.” Most of the adults including Maggie looked puzzled. She took a deep breath. “It has come to my attention that there may be quite large stockpiles of resources still in the City.” At this, the Family erupted into a barrage of questions.

  “Fi, what are you talking about? Do you mean New York?” Lydia asked, confused.

  “How do you know this information Fi, it doesn’t even make any sense,” Doc Ron added gruffly.

  “Fi, be realistic! It has to be four days run just to get down there,” Sarge protested, “Even for you!” His brow furrowed with concern. “Why don’t you just go on a few raids someplace closer?”

  “Because!” Fi burst out, frustrated. “Sorry,” she lowered her voice. “Because,” she repeated, “the areas close to us are all tapped out. There is almost nothing to be found even when you go house to house and I hate doing that.” The others all nodded, even the kids. They knew. Houses were dangerous nowadays.

  “How far have you and Sean been going out on your past raids?” Sarge raised an eyebrow. It was obvious that Sarge was less than thrilled to find that she and Sean had kept the difficulty of the raids from the Family. She clasped her hands together with her elbows balanced on her knees.

  “Oh,” she breathed, “I don’t know. What do you think Sean? Two, three days out sometimes?” He nodded.

  “Holy cow Fi,” Doc murmured. Fi’s head bobbed.

  “I know,” she acknowledged. “It’s why we do allow ourselves to eat a little more than we want to take from the rest of you. We need the energy.”

  “So Fi,” Sarge said, “What did you mean by ‘it’s come to your attention’? About the stockpiles in the City, I mean. That doesn’t even make any sense, shouldn’t the City be even emptier? How would you know that anyway?” Sean coughed and everyone turned around. Fi sat back on the couch.

  “Would you like to tell them Sean?” she asked him, her expression half-tired and half-amused. With a small laugh, he nodded.

  “Sure,” he said and he sat up straighter, putting his right foot back on the ground instead of the chair. He’d gotten taller, Fi noticed.
With the thinness and the added height, Sean was starting to look a little like a string bean. Of course, she thought, who am I to judge? She knew she looked a lot like a string bean herself these days, albeit a small one. It was going to be a real treat when game meats and mushrooms and roots were available again, she thought. In the meantime, though she hated to admit it, they needed more canned Sickfood to take on the road to sustain them. And they needed supplies, meds, etc, etc, etc. she thought with a yawn. She raised her head and realized that she’d tuned out for a moment. Sean was still talking.

  “So the guy ends up telling her that all the people in New York left in a huge hurry only a couple weeks after the soldiers surrounded it because they thought they were going to be nuked,” he said, warming to his story. “The guy and his family left fast, he said, because you couldn’t take the chance. And I understand that.” The others nodded, listening. “Plus he said the soldiers had bolted the doors of food locations closed.” Several of the women gasped. Sean nodded and turned to Fi.

  “That is what Mark said,” Fi confirmed. “He told me that when they first arrived, the soldiers had orders to bolt the entrance to food providers so that they could prevent looting and give out the food fairly.” A soft noise emanated from Maggie, who shook her head.

  “Those poor people,” she said, “they must have been so frightened for their children.” Her voice was sad. Aliyah, Lydia, and Lucy all murmured in agreement. All of them understood.

  “Well,” Fi explained, “the end result is that people left the City center without looting much and then when they moved outward into the suburbs, they began looting.”

  “Ah,” Sarge nodded, his face relaxing in understanding. “I see. That explains why the outer areas are wiped clean but the City…” he paused.

  “Maybe not,” Fi met his gaze and smiled. She and Sean exchanged glances.

  “I see it,” Sarge said, convinced. “I see the logic in it.” He turned to the rest of the group. “Calorie for calorie, they may be able to get a lot more for only somewhat more effort.” He turned back to Fi and Sean. “Not a horrible plan,” he smiled.

  “But Fi,” Doc said, “You can’t be sure the guy wasn’t lying,” he said, his tone worried. “What if you go all that way and there is nothing there?”

  “Well Doc, I can tell you two things. The first thing is that I don’t think the guy was lying. He had no reason to, and he seemed genuine, so I’m going with my feelings there. And the second thing is that if we go one more day out and back and find nothing, it won’t matter too much more than if we do the same on a three day trip here.”

  “She’s right Doc,” Sean spoke up. “There is almost nothing here anymore, even down in Yonkers and White Plains.”

  Doc sighed. “Well Fi, I think I speak for everyone when I say, ‘How can we help you?” Everyone murmured in agreement and Fi broke the Meeting to begin discussing her plans. As Lydia took the kids to the kitchen for morning school, Fi heard Zoe ask Lydia in her baby voice, “What does ‘nuke’ mean Ms. Lydia?”

  Lydia sighed and then chuckled. “Well baby girl,” she bounced Charlie on her hip. “That is something you probably don’t have to worry about anymore.” Fi approached Doc Ron and asked him to come speak with her in the cellar so that they would have privacy. Once they were alone, Fi confided in him.

  “So Doc,” she began as casually as she could, “realistically, what happens to Rachel if we don’t find Eden by fall? If we have to overwinter again, I mean.” He raised an eyebrow behind his wire glasses.

  “I know, I know,” Fi apologized. “I understand that I was a little,” she paused, searching for the best word, “…clear that I didn’t want to discuss Sickness.” Her mouth twisted in chagrin at the memory of how she had behaved when Doc Ron had brought it up with her. They had talked in the cellar that day as well, though he had led her that time.

  “Fi,” Doc Ron had said gravely, “I feel fairly certain, though it’s difficult to be sure without equipment, that Maggie has an advanced form of stomach cancer.” Frustrated, Fi had waved her hands at him, her lips pressed her together so hard that they turned white. She recalled how Doc’s eyebrows had knitted in concern, “Fi, I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” Unable to form words, she had kept shaking her head, her eyes welling up with tears.

  “No, no, you didn’t…do anything wrong…Doc.” The words came out between short breaths. It had taken everything to get back under control, she recalled. “I just didn’t need to know because it doesn’t matter. Maggie has the Sickness. She is going to die. Stomach Cancer, Lung Cancer, Lupus,” she’d suddenly begun listing diseases angrily, “Diabetes, MS, I mean does it really matter? Does it matter what we call the disease that is killing us if we can’t stop putting the thing that gave us the disease into our bodies? If we have no choice?”

  That day she had gotten up to walk back up the cellar stairs to the first floor. At the bottom of the stairs she’d stopped. “Doc you have one job here now and that job is to keep the healthy alive and safe. It’s not your job to try to stop the Sickness.” Heading up the stairs she’d added, “That’s my job.”

  Now he seemed understandably hesitant to give advice.

  “I’m sorry Doc, it’s just that with Maggie…” her voice trailed off.

  “There wasn’t any hope.” Doc finished her thought. Fi sniffed and nodded, tears filling her eyes. “Well,” he began. “I will give you the best information that I can.” Fi wiped her eyes and nodded again. “It seems very likely that Rachel has a type of Leukemia, though without being able to do some real testing I can’t be sure which kind, and I can’t even be one hundred percent sure that it is Leukemia.” He looked at Fi to make sure she understood. She nodded again so that he would continue.

  “Childhood cancers are particularly frightening because they grow so quickly. All the cells in a child’s body grow more quickly than they do in adults,” he explained.

  “So we are worried about the timeline then,” Fi summarized. Her tone was flat.

  “Yes, based on her current state, and the fact that we are going to be hiking again, putting in physical effort. Yes, I’m worried,” he admitted, “If I’m honest, I think that Rachel does not make it through another winter.” Fi sucked in her breath. The truth really does hurt, she thought, saddened by the sharp pain in her chest. She drew in her gaunt cheeks and put her head in her hands.

  “On the positive side,” Doc added and Fi’s head snapped up. “Childhood Leukemias are also very treatable, even curable.”

  “Treatment as in chemo?”

  “Ultimately, the patient is going to need a bone marrow transplant in order to cure the disease,” Doc clarified, “and typically treatment would be chemotherapy by infusion, which we can’t do. Many of the drugs needed to be refrigerated, and they will obviously be spoiled.” He spoke and his voice trailed off again.

  Fi could feel that there was something else. “But?”

  “It’s a stupid chance really,” he shook his head. Fi waved at him, urging him to get to it. “There are some oral chemotherapy drugs that can hold off the symptoms of certain Leukemias. The patient still needs the transplant eventually, but the drugs could help buy her some time.” Fi nodded, feeling encouraged, until Doc added the last part. “But, the drugs could also give her some side effects that could be worse than her current symptoms. She could lose hair, feel nauseous, develop rashes, and have a harder time fighting off infections.”

  “So basically, exactly how she feels right now, but worse and also bald?” Fi said with frustration.

  Doc sighed and smiled a little. “Exactly.”

  “Yeah, we really have made progress against this disease.” Fi couldn’t contain her irritation.

  “Unfortunately you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t,” Doc agreed.

  “Yeah,” Fi smiled back, “but that doesn’t make the decisions easy.” She shook her fists at the ceiling dramatically. “I would give anything for an easy decision!” Doc la
ughed at her antics while Fi grew silent for a moment. It really would make her feel better just to have the drugs available. She wasn’t sure how she could live with herself if she didn’t do everything she could to help Rachel survive.

  “It seems like the best thing,” she said, “would be to have those drugs available so that if she worsened a lot this summer, then we could give her the drugs and start buying her time. Maybe in Eden she could get the transplant,” she added hopefully, though she doubted it in her heart. Fi wasn’t really sure what miracle she was expecting for Rachel, but she just couldn’t sit by and watch her fade like Maggie.

  “Yes, having some kind of option would be best, if it were possible,” Doc responded. He took off his glasses to clean them. “I’m assuming that you brought this up in light of your upcoming raid with Sean?”

  Fi nodded. “I thought that the hospitals there might have what we’d need for her. Since we are going for food anyway, I thought maybe you could give us a list of drugs to look for. I need a list of the basics again as well.”

  “Ok, I can do that,” Doc said. “I wish that I remembered all the best hospitals for you to hit in the City, but I do remember a few. I will write down the ones I can recall and the general location. You’re familiar with the City right?”

  Fi nodded again and sighed. “Yes, I used to drag my parents there as often as I could. I loved it.” Her voice softened as she remembered her beloved City. She hadn’t given it much thought in a long time, mostly because she thought she’d never see it again. The thought of seeing the City post-Famine made her stomach turn. “I always wanted to grow up and move down there, to the big City,” she smiled. “Now I’m actually afraid to see it.” Doc touched her hand to comfort her and the kindness roused her from her momentary sadness. Fi shook her head to shake off the feeling and grinned.