by Nella Tyler
But I needed to find something to do with myself so I wouldn’t dwell. I thought about what I could do; I needed to get out of the house, but the idea of going out with any of my girl friends wasn’t exactly alluring. I knew I’d spend the entire time comparing any of them to Autumn.
“That just leaves one thing,” I said to myself. I found my phone plugged into the wall and took it off the charger.
I called up my friend Drake. “Hey, man,” I said, sitting back down on the couch. “You get paid this week?”
“Yeah, man, sure enough,” he said. “You got something in mind for me to blow my money on?”
I laughed. “A few beers, maybe catch a game somewhere?” I didn’t really like the idea, but it would be better than sitting at home, stewing about the girl I shouldn’t even have ever kissed, much less had sex with.
“I think they opened up that new laser tag place in town,” Drake told me. “We could check that out. Get a couple of the other guys from the crew.” He had worked with me on more than one construction job; there was a group of us that tended to do the work on a regular basis, and we’d become friends over time.
“Sounds good, my man,” I said. “Let’s call up some of the guys and make a night of it: grab some burgers and beers, get our laser tag on, and all that.”
“I’ll call Joe and Skinny Pete, if you’ll get Harold and Max,” he told me.
“I can do that. Catch you at…” I checked the time. “Say six? Give us plenty of time to get our drink on a bit before we head over to the laser tag place.”
“I’m down,” Drake agreed.
I hung up and started the process of getting ready to go out. First, I called Harold and Max, let them know the idea that Drake and I had worked out; Harold had a girl he was going out with, but Max was down for a guys’ night out.
I had already taken a shower, but I changed out of my pajamas and into a clean pair of jeans and a button-down shirt—not something super nice, but something that I could wear out with my buddies without looking like a total scrub. I shaved and pulled my hair back out of my face, and tried not to think about how nice it would be to be getting ready to go somewhere with Autumn instead.
Stop thinking about that. You’re going to be hanging out with the guys.
I knew I’d have to make an effort to find a pretty girl to flirt with, not that there were that many in the town that I didn’t already know, but there was always a chance that I would find someone. Even if I did run into someone I knew already, I told myself I would make the effort.
I needed to do whatever it took to get Autumn out of my mind and to keep my promise to Bob Nelson.
Not to mention that Tuck clearly has issues with me spending any time with his sister. That was another reason not to let myself get involved with Autumn, and to push her away: Tuck had been getting increasingly aggressive ever since I’d started flirting with her. I needed to put some distance between myself and his beautiful sister if I wanted to be able to keep my job for the rest of the season.
As soon as I was ready, I headed into town, trying to find my way to the bar we normally met up at. It was a little hole-in-the-wall dive with the best burgers in three counties, according to one of the newspapers. Just then, burgers and beer sounded like the best possible thing in the world to me.
I wondered what Autumn was doing with her friends—was she getting the manicure she had talked about, or had she gone shopping? It was too early for her to have gone home, at least I thought so, but I had no idea what she might actually be doing.
Since I was going to dinner with my buds, I thought it was possible she might have grabbed dinner with her friends, as well. I pictured her in my mind, seated at a table somewhere in the mall, at the food court, maybe having Chinese, or Chik-Fil-A, talking to her friends about Addie. If I’d been there, I told myself, I would just have been in the way of that. Even if she had invited me.
Stop thinking about her and focus on the night out. I pulled into the parking lot at Dave’s Last Resort and spotted Drake’s beat up old car already parked in one corner. We were a bit before the dinner rush, which was good; we’d have time for a couple of beers, maybe a couple of shots, and then we could head over to the laser tag place. I parked and walked around to the front of the building.
“Cade! Brother, it’s good to see you,” Skinny Pete said, as soon as I walked in.
“You, too, man,” I told him. He slapped my shoulder and led me over to the table.
“I hear you’ve been working out at Bob Nelson’s ranch,” Max said.
“All season,” I confirmed. A waitress came and I looked over the specials; there was a deal on Jameson with a beer back, and I ordered it, along with the bacon cheeseburger and fries. Drake had already ordered a basket of deep fried pickles and some mushroom caps for the table.
“I didn’t know they were hiring,” Joe said.
I shrugged. “I saw an ad in the paper and answered it. It’s been a pretty good gig. They might bring on someone else next year if I work out.”
“Autumn Nelson is easy on the eyes,” Skinny Pete pointed out.
“Ah, let’s not talk about her,” I told him. “I made a promise to Bob Nelson that I wouldn’t get distracted by his daughter. It was his condition for hiring me.”
“Good man,” Drake said, smiling slightly. “I’d do the same thing if I had a daughter who’d just had a kid less than a year before, with a guy who ran off on her—don’t want her heart getting broken again.”
I shook my head. “Come on, guys. No more talk about her. I want to spend the next five hours not thinking about the farm, or the farmer’s daughter. Just guy shit, beers, and laser tag. Okay?”
“We can talk about that fine waitress over there,” Max said, nodding in the direction of one of the other bar maids. I’d known her in high school—hell, I’d known almost everyone in town who was between the ages of twenty-five and thirty in high school—but I had to admit that Max wasn’t wrong.
“Not bad at all,” I agreed. “Heather Johnson. Man, it’s been ages since I saw her.”
We chatted about Heather for a while, and then my beer and shot came, and then the burgers. I put Autumn out of my mind and tried to focus on spending time with my friends.
I started to relax a little bit and got into the spirit of boys’ night. I told myself that I was going to enjoy laser tag, I was going to get just a little bit drunk, I was going to ogle pretty girls, and I was going to pretend like I didn’t have any feelings that would make my life complicated.
I knocked back my shot of whiskey and drank down a few gulps of beer. “I heard that they have a hot girl working at the laser tag place,” Max said.
“That sounds promising,” Skinny Pete told him.
I laughed. “Not like you’re going to ask for her number, anyway,” I pointed out.
“You might, though,” Drake said, pointing at me.
“Probably not.” I shrugged off the idea. “I’m focused on my work these days.”
“All work and no play makes Cade a dull boy,” Drake countered. “You should play the field. Get your rocks off while there’s still women interested in hooking up.”
I shook my head; it was going to definitely be a guys’ night, but I didn’t think I was going to have all that much luck getting Autumn out of my head.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Autumn
I had been avoiding Tuck, or at least being alone with Tuck, ever since he’d come to my place on the property and accused me of trying to form some kind of bizarre conspiracy with Cade to keep Tuck from inheriting the farm from our dad one day.
Since Tuck seemed to be functioning just fine in every other sense, Mom had thought—and I’d agreed—that it was best to relieve some of the tension.
I shouldn’t have taken it so much to heart that Cade had apparently lost interest in me, especially since Tucker had had such bizarre ideas about Cade and me colluding together. But Cade didn’t know about the incident between me and my
brother; therefore, there was no real reason for him to avoid me, other than lost interest.
I knew that I should be relieved at least as far as my relationship with my brother was concerned that I didn’t have anything anymore with Cade, but I couldn’t make myself feel good about it. I thought I deserved more than just Cade’s avoidance. I deserved to hear from him that he had simply lost interest.
Mom had decided to take over bringing the guys lunch and snacks out in the fields. I needed to avoid Tuck, and I didn’t want to see Cade, so she had been more than happy to do it for me, in exchange for me covering some of her usual chores around the farm. I still cooked dinner half the time, but I didn’t have to deal with either of the two men who were causing me so much trouble in my mind.
I stood outside hanging laundry, thinking about what I would do the next time that I had an opportunity to go into town just to amuse myself. Mom and Dad both had told me that it was a good practice. I came back from my little outings refreshed, more energetic, and more positive. I had to admit that I felt better after my dates with friends.
Maybe we could go to Andrews Park, I thought to myself. We can put together a picnic, hang out at the lake, maybe do a little sunbathing… It sounded nice; but it would have been nicer still if I could do it with Cade instead of my friends.
I shook off the thought. It wasn’t any use to think of how nice it would be to do something with Cade. I wasn’t going to be doing anything with Cade in the near future.
“Autumn.” I looked over the clothesline and saw Tuck walking towards me. My heart beat a little bit faster in my chest, but I made myself keep working. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I was still a bit shaken by his random attack on me.
“Hey, Tuck,” I said, straightening the sheet on the clothesline and grabbing pins out of the hanging bag on the rope. “Something up?” I swallowed against the tightness in my throat.
“I wanted to talk to you,” he said, stepping under the clothesline and coming to a stop a few feet away from me.
“About what?” I wiped my damp hands on my pants and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Stop looking at me like that, Sis,” he said, looking away from me. His cheeks were pink with more than just the sun.
“Like what?”
“Autumn.” He met my gaze and frowned. “Look, I know I was an asshole to you the other day.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “The other day? Whatever are you talking about, brother?” I held his gaze until he looked away again.
“I shouldn’t have accused you of having some kind of scheme going with Cade,” he said, sounding more than a little sheepish. “I’m just…I guess…paranoid about what my future is going to look like, and I took it out on you.”
“Oh?” I kept my face neutral. “Refresh my memory if you would.”
“Autumn, don’t be like this,” Tucker said. “I’m trying to apologize to you.”
“So apologize,” I told him. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, closing his eyes and then opening them again.
“Okay,” he said. “I’m sorry I went off on you like that, especially because Addie was in the next room. I was an asshole and it was uncalled for.”
I finally let myself crack a smile. “Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate the apology. I accept it.” I shook my head and uncrossed my arms.
“Cade’s not a bad guy, you know,” Tuck said, kicking at the grass under his feet.
“I don’t know,” I told him. I turned back to the laundry basket on the ground and plucked a towel out of it to hang up.
“I mean, he’s a decent worker and seems mostly like a good guy,” he continued.
“I’m glad you and he are able to be friends again,” I said. “I just…” I shrugged. “I think I was mistaken.”
“Mistaken how?”
I glanced at my brother. “I thought he was interested in me,” I admitted. “There were some times, when we hung out... But he’s been avoiding me for the last couple of weeks. Even more than I’ve been avoiding you!” I gave my brother a little grin.
“So, you think he’s lost interest? Why would he?” Tuck frowned and shook his head. “There’s no reason why he should.”
“I figure it was just one of those things,” I told him. “He was into the hunt, not into me.”
Tuck kicked at the grass again. “I don’t know about that. I mean, he did promise Dad that he wouldn’t get involved with you, right? Maybe Dad noticed things were getting a little more hot and heavy between the two of you and had a word with him.”
I shrugged again. “Either way,” I said. “I probably should just let it go. Either he’s lost interest in me, or he isn’t going to be able to act on any interest he does have in me until after the season is over. Why should I wait around to see which answer it is, when I can just get on with my life?”
Tuck considered that, and I hung another towel and a few washcloths. “If you think you’ll be happier just letting it go, then you should do that,” Tuck told me. “Otherwise… I mean, I know you’ve got this incredibly active social life and all, but maybe you should give him the benefit of a few months to see if he’s just keeping away to keep his job or if he’s actually not interested in you.”
I looked at my brother doubtfully. “You know, I’m not sure whether you’re more annoying when you think I’m colluding with Cade to cut you out of your inheritance or when you’re trying to advocate for him,” I told my brother. Tuck laughed.
“I need to get back out there,” he said, coming in closer to me to give me a quick hug. “We’re okay, right?” I shrugged, but I paused in hanging up the laundry to let him hug me.
“I’m still annoyed at you, but I accept your apology,” I told him. “I’m mostly just glad you’re apparently not losing your mind.”
Tuck grinned. “Not yet, anyway,” he said, before pulling away from me and ducking back under the clothesline to head out to the fields. I shook my head to myself and watched him until he disappeared into the tall, growing corn, beyond the fence that separated the yard from the acres of cultivated land.
I thought about what Tuck had said. He was right in the fact that I didn’t know for sure what reasons Cade had for suddenly not wanting to hang out with me, for avoiding me. I didn’t actually know for sure that he’d lost interest.
If I were a more patient woman, I might have been tempted to wait it out, and see what happened once Cade didn’t have a job riding on whether or not he dated me. Why did Dad even make that a condition in the first place? It’s so silly. It’s not like it would actually distract anyone all that much to be in love with me.
Even as I thought that, though, I realized that it would; after all, I was around all the time. For a lot of people, it would be distracting to work out in the fields, only yards away from the woman they were interested in.
But even after we’d had sex, I hadn’t noticed any sign of Cade losing focus on his work. When he was working, that was all he was doing, and when he’d been with me, that was all he was doing in those moments.
But I knew my dad. It wasn’t just that he was worried about Cade getting distracted from his work; he had given the farm hand that ultimatum because he was worried about me—about how vulnerable I was, and how lonely, and how much it would break my heart to fall for a guy only to be abandoned again. It was kind of him, but at the same time I couldn’t help but resent my own father, even if just a little bit, for trying to coddle me that way.
No matter the reason why Cade had given up and started avoiding me, I decided that it was best for me to do like I’d told my brother I would: let it go and move on with my life.
I had gotten my fill of bullshit from Titan, and I didn’t see any need to put myself through the ringer yet again for someone who might not even be interested in me.
If Cade tried to come onto me once again after the season was over, I’d have reason to believe that he’d only backed off because he didn’t want to lose his job. The
n at least I’d have a choice as to whether that explanation satisfied me.
But if he’d lost interest in me, and I’d waited to find out from him that he had for sure, then I’d be wasting months of my life when I could possibly find someone I liked just as well, if not better than him. If Cade wanted me, really wanted me, then he would make an effort to convince me of that once he was free to once more; of course, by then it might be too late.
I finished up hanging the laundry out on the line, and told myself that if Cade came onto me once more after his contract with my dad had ended, I would decide how I felt about him and whether I was willing to try things with him, at that point—and no sooner. Maybe I’d meet someone in the meantime who hadn’t made such a promise to my dad. And if I did, it would just be Cade’s bad luck that I wasn’t available when he finally had a real, true chance at winning my heart.
But even as I thought that, I couldn’t help but think that I would really, truly prefer to know whether or not Cade had lost interest. Whether I should even hope that there might have been something more to what was between us than a one-night stand. I went back into the house and pushed the idea out of my head; there was no point in making myself miserable over someone who probably wasn’t even interested in me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Cade
“You staying for dinner tonight, Cade?” I looked up from the nozzle of the pesticide sprayer at the sound of Bob Nelson’s voice.
“I didn’t know that was on the agenda,” I told the farmer. He grinned.
“Well, I figured, it’s a Friday night,” he said. “I don’t know what Autumn’s making for dinner, but we’d love to have you.”
I thought about it; Bob seemed to be relaxing, finally. It looked like he didn’t have any real suspicions that I was doing anything inappropriate with his daughter, at least not anymore. Autumn was distancing herself as much from me as I was from her, and Tuck had calmed down on the aggressiveness.
“I’d love to stay for dinner. Thanks for inviting me.”
