by Serena Vale
She watched Jay… Odin… whatever his name was as he moved through the cage. She forgot all about the other fighter, Tonto, and her eyes rested solely on Jay. She watched almost memorizing the shape of his body. How he moved… the way veins in his arm seemed to throb as his muscles tensed… the way his abs seemed to become harder when he took a punch to the belly, the way his chest expanded and retracted as he breathed. It was like watching some kind of an organic machine at work. It was… beautiful.
It was like watching light dance. It was like watching a landslide that somehow didn’t turn out to be destructive. It was like watching a tornado shrink into human form. It was just… unnatural… and hard to take her eyes away from.
The fight was over before she realized it.
Tonto laid face-down on the mat as medics rushed into the cage to check him. After only a few seconds one of them gave the wave off to the referee to show that he was unconscious. The ref blew his whistle and the match came to an end and the crowd cheered. Jay – Odin – thrust both his fists into the air as if summoning more enthusiasm from the crowd and channeling their energy into himself.
Callie stood fixed to the spot. A jumble of thoughts went through her mind in no particular order. And all the while she was still unable to tear her eyes away from Jay’s body.
Cece doesn’t know who he is, I never introduced them! This explains his teeth! Does his father know? This is why I haven’t seen him all week! Fuck, he looks so good! What would Cece say if I told her that he was my stepbrother? How did I not know this about him? What would he say if he saw me? How can he get away with doing something like this? What’s wrong with me?
If she felt rooted to the spot right then, it became worse when he turned in the cage as if surveying the crowd… and saw her.
She held her breath, like he was some kind of a predator and had set his sights on her, her only defense becoming to hold as still as she could. At first, she thought to see disgust… shame… even surprise behind his eyes when he saw her. They had never been really close, the two of them. And that she didn’t entirely like him had been plain from the beginning.
If I had known… she thought desperately… If only I had known…
He lowered his arms and continued to stare at her. She didn’t see any sign of dislike or disgust from him. In fact… what she saw was only… delight?
The rest of the crowd seemed to pick up on the fact that his attention was focused somewhere else. Peripherally she could see many pairs of eyes combing through the crowd, looking for whatever it was that he had fixed his attention upon. But apparently they were at a loss to find what held his attention so firmly.
The commentator stepped up and began to speak again, though she wasn’t listening. Neither was Jay, by the look of it. He turned and stepped out of the ring and she watched him as he went, thankful that she would soon be relieved of the burden of having to look at him so awkwardly… no! He turned, rounding the ring… heading towards her!
Though the crowd had been jumping and jeering at him, screaming his name and baying for more action, she would have thought that any of them – especially the women – would have mobbed him, throwing their bodies at him. But none of them did any such thing. It was as if he were a god… the best kind… one that came down to earth to mingle with mortals. No one got in his way as he approached her and as he came to stand in front of her, it seemed obvious to all that it was she that held his attention.
She was mortified to be at the center of attention of so many others. It was worse now that it had been at the wedding. Even Cece looked from her to him and back, wondering how – and why – she of all people had captivated his attention.
She tried to speak, but no words came out.
Jay did not speak either. Instead, he did something much more… profound.
He leaned in and kissed her. One hand grasped at the back of her neck and gently guided her mouth to his.
It was not a brotherly kiss. It was the kind of kiss that was given from one lover to another. She could taste him… and in more ways than one. She could taste his sweat… his breath… even the strangest feeling of being able to taste the gold in his mouth filled her. She could feel his muscles throbbing in his hand… she could feel his heart beating… she could even feel the warmth that his body radiated after his exertions. And all of it, put together, drew her in. That feeling of something forbidden yet so easily within reach filled her… and she didn’t want to let go of it.
But he let go for her.
He broke their kiss and flashed that familiar multi-million-dollar smile at her as he turned and walked away. Callie felt like she had been welded to her chair, her eyes, lips, legs, and hands were all frozen as if she had just been visited by a god that overpowered her very reason and ability to move.
Maybe I have been, she thought as he walked away. She saw looks of contempt from some of the other women as Jay – Odin – walked casually back towards the private chambers of the fighters. She saw looks of astonishment and wonder from some of the men… likely that they thought that Odin’s tastes were of a different nature. But the one that surprised her most was Cece, who sat next to her with a beaming expression on her face as she reached out and shook Callie by the shoulders as if shaking life back into her.
“Oh… my… god!” Cece said excitedly. “I envy you!”
Callie didn’t have the ability to respond aloud. But in her mind all she could think was, Really? Because lust is the sin that I have in mind…
Chapter 5
When Cece dropped her off back home again, the night was turning into morning. Callie had barely noticed the time go by, her mind was swirling with so many thoughts that time wasn’t really at the fore of any of it.
When she entered into the house, everything was dark or powered down for the night. Only minimal lighting existed for anyone that needed to make their way about for whatever reason. The place seemed somewhat eerie when at night and she was content to return to her room, sit in silence, and try and make sense out of everything that she had seen, heard, and experienced tonight.
Why not learn it all straight from the source?
The idea held so much appeal that she stopped in her tracks and despite her misgivings about it, she lent some serious thought to the problem. But despite her desire to want to know more, only a single thought kept recurring in her mind.
He’s my stepbrother.
Normally, such a thing was like high walls to an invading army: meant to keep others out. It was a point from which others did not try to pass unless they had a good reason to. But her mind – and her mouth – still tingled with what had happened at the cage. She could still taste Jay… still feel him… and she wanted more. And the knowledge that neither her mother nor her stepfather was in the house, leaving she and Jay more or less alone, somehow seemed to make this forbidden apple all the juicier.
I want a bite… she decided.
She turned and went off towards Jay’s room at a rush. Maybe it was curiosity… or rage… or just plain bewilderment that guided her there, but she tried very hard not to let it be lust that carried her feet to his door. Even if it was, she wanted to be certain that is what it was before she did anything… questionable.
When she arrived there the door was closed. She rapped her knuckles rapidly on the door. “Jay!”
There was a stirring within that sent bolts of lightning up through her feet all the way to her brain. She heard the sound of footsteps coming closer and in the span of those few precious seconds she found herself wishing that he hadn’t been there. She hadn’t even thought of what it was that she could say. Or do… both suddenly seemed like terrifying prospects.
When the door opened, Jay stood there, nearly as he had been at the cage. The image was both electric and terrifying. Cece had not shut up on the whole ride over as to how envious she was about how Callie had been able to kiss Odin! She had gone on some long rant about his looks… his muscles… his general bad-boy demeanor. And with ever
y syllable that Cece spoke, it felt like she was describing a buried treasure that only Callie knew how to find.
She saw now that Cece had been right. He was shirtless, his tattoos were displayed prominently, but he wore a pair of jeans and tennis shoes that made him look somehow more appetizing… like a sexy cowboy, but better. He had an ice pack in one hand that was pressed against his abs and he again wore his million-dollar smile at the sight of her.
“J-Jay…” she said, finding that her voice was trying to abandon her and she felt her cheeks flush.
He only continued to smile.
She searched for something to say but all of her words seemed to flee from her mouth as soon as they arrived there. She could think of plenty to say but her mouth simply refused to acknowledge it. But her eyes began to comb over his body and it seemed that they did the talking for her, asking all the questions that her mouth failed to produce.
“I’ve been doing this a long time,” Jay said, leaning against the door frame, his muscles bulging delightfully under his own weight, somehow making him look bigger than he already was. She found her mouth going dry at the sight of it. “Dad thought it would be a good way for me to meet people… and to learn how to intimidate them.” He shrugged. “I bet he didn’t expect that I would reach this level though.”
Callie was still speechless, trying to form words but none issued from her mouth.
“It’s a bit funny, isn’t it? My dad being who is… everyone thinks that I’m a rich man’s son… born with a silver spoon in my ass. But when I climb into that ring… it’s like I’m wearing a cloak of invisibility. It’s like I’m hiding behind someone else’s face. And I love it. It’s an amazing feeling.”
Her mouth hung slightly agape, but still there were no words that left her.
“I started actually competing about three years ago,” Jay went on, not caring if she said anything or not. “Won the first few fights pretty easy and I put on enough muscle to graduate into the next weight class. Before I knew it, I was tossing around every guy that I came up against in every division. I took a few hits… lost a few teeth…” he said, flashing his expensive choppers. “Then one night, this guy from the UFC shows up and says, ‘You know, you’re pretty good. Ever think about doing this sort of thing professionally? It could happen… and it could be you. Here’s my card. Give me a call.’ And, well, I’ve been doing that ever since.”
She listened, wanting to speak, but her tongue refused to cooperate.
“So far as my dad knows I just compete in unaffiliated arenas. He doesn’t know that I’m this close to hitting it big. But he thinks a few bruises… my missing teeth… even the bones that I broke after the first few fights were good. ‘It builds character,’ he said. He thinks that if I can show the world that I can take a punch… that I can be intimidating… that one day, when I’m running the company… no one will want to mess with me. That fear of what I can do physically will keep everyone else in line.”
Callie managed to form together some incoherent words, but Jay kept on speaking as though he had not heard.
“For a while, I thought that he was right. I mean, if people knew that I could knock a guy out… twist him into an unnatural shape… break his bones… or cause kidney failure… who would be brave enough to try and screw me in the business world? I have a degree you know. Yeah, I do, in business management. Full ride scholarship I got from Princeton. Dad’s money didn’t even have to enter into it… they didn’t even know who my dad was. I finished school in three years… I was only eighteen. That was three years ago… right about the time I started doing this.” He paused and took away the ice pack, revealing the complete set of his abs and Callie found herself – unashamedly – relishing the sight. A bruise rested on his side and part of her felt the overwhelming sense to want to caress and cradle that injury… to nourish it… make it feel better… however Jay wanted.
“But you know what, Callie? I’ve realized something in the last three years. The more I fight… the less I care about running dad’s company.”
This time she found herself legitimately unable to speak. The words he spoke were so profound that it was as if he had formed a fist and punched her in the solar plexus. His father owned his own company, one of the top 10 in the Fortune 500… and he didn’t care to run it?
“I like it,” he said simply. “The fights… the crowds… it’s like I’m in control of my life. And that’s an incredible adrenaline rush.” He looked her over and her skin danced as his eyes went from her feet all the way up to her eyes and they lingered there as if locked on by laser guidance. “I was just like you when I went off to college, Callie. I studied what my dad wanted me to study… business… because that was what was expected of me and I didn’t have enough of a damn mind to think I could decide for myself.”
She felt words stirring within herself, but was still unable to speak. She wanted to say that she hadn’t yet decided what she was going to study when she went away to school and that she was capable of making up her own mind. But he cut her off before she could speak and she was lost in her own thoughts.
“But there is something else that I like about the fighting too…” he said, a playful smile dancing across the folds of his lips. “It’s not the fame… I could care less about that. It’s not even the money… I’ve already got plenty of that.” He leaned in close to her, just as he had at the bar, and she felt her heart suddenly climb up into her throat with anticipation… “What I like most… is the women.” He tilted his head to one side as if he did intend to kiss her, but didn’t. “And I don’t mean I like them in general. The ones that throw themselves at me… they’re a dime a dozen. I could have two or even three of them at a time if I wanted… they’re desperate to try and hitch themselves to me somehow. But you know what?” He leaned in closer, so close that she could taste his breath again on the air and she tried to subtly suck in every last bit of it. “It’s the ones that I can’t have that I want the most. The ones that are married… engaged…” he arched an eyebrow tauntingly, “or my stepsister.” He licked his lips, the tip of his tongue just gently brushing against her bottom lip. “But you know what… chasing them… trying to get them to fold… that is what makes it fun.”
Her heart began to beat with such rapidity within her throat it felt like there was a drum beating inside her windpipe. And it came to a crescendo when he leaned in closer... So close that a sliver of an inch was all that was between them. And in a voice so gentle that she had to strain to hear it he said, “I like the way they lust after me but try to keep themselves in check. They don’t want me for my money… or my fame… but for me.” He teasingly flexed his muscles and she felt herself shudder, awed by the sight of so much flesh that she felt weakened just by looking at it. Even a night to a women’s club with male strippers one night with Cece had not produced this kind of a result in her.
And with that, he retracted from her, a sinister smile on his face and he retreated back into his room, closing the door as if he were sealing her in the hall where she could not touch him, both figuratively and literally. And once closed she stood there, somehow more mute than she was a minute before.
She had learned everything… but somehow she had managed to gain nothing. Nothing except the notion that, despite her deepest feelings, that she knew she wanted more.
Much more.
As days went by she wrestled with the morality of her predicament. Socially she knew right from wrong: this sort of thing was taboo. It wasn’t supposed to happen… at least not socially. But biologically on the other hand… Well, it’s kind of a gray area. Sure, this wasn’t incest… not really. No chance of contaminating a gene pool or anything. But every time she thought about it she found herself getting online and looking up instances where such things had happened in the past and to more historically important people.
Kings… queens… princes and princesses… business tycoons… musicians… authors… movie stars… gangsters… people that were famous the world o
ver for one thing or another had fallen victim to what she now felt herself enshrouded by. It was a hard thing to be sure and certainly frowned upon by most. But the careers of many had not been deterred by what had happened to them. In fact, some people – including historians – had been pretty light-hearted about the whole thing. True incest was certainly a big no-no, but this…?
It was a strange thing, really. Some women wound up having affairs with their stepsons. Some of them had even gone on to write books on it or t heir diaries published after the fact and they all seemed pretty happy for their choices. Some of them were ecstatic, really. Some men had begun to have affairs with their stepdaughters. Cousins had affairs with other cousins. By-marriage uncles and aunts had affairs with nephews and nieces… there was almost no end to it all. Some of it was sickening… but again, there was also something delightfully about it. Not just because it was forbidden… but because it was so easy to start and to get away with if one planned it just right, as some did.
And it wasn’t as if things like that were entirely damning. Many of the people she researched had managed to get away with their sordid affairs, both out of the public eye and even within it. While many of them did end, they still ended amicably… only a few ended terribly. Fewer still ended quite terribly and were cautionary tales if nothing else.
But still… there was something so damn alluring about this that she couldn’t shut her mind off to it. It was like a dream that she had woken from and tried to get back to sleep each night trying to pick up where she left off.
She did so even when she was awake, trying to make her dreams a reality.
Then one day, it seemed as if her fantasy had taken a giant leap towards becoming real. As she had woken from a restless sleep she found a piece of paper that had been slipped under her door. On it, very sloppily written, was a series of addresses, dates, and times. She knew at once what it was: Jay’s fighting schedule. And she knew at once who it had been left by.
