by G. R. Lyons
They returned to the apartment, a guard following the whole way, and carefully shut the door as they stepped inside. Zhadeyn looked up at him silently, and Graeden pulled her into his arms, his mind working in a whirl as he tried to think of a way out.
It'll be alright, he told her. It'll be alright.
Zhadeyn went stiff in his arms, then pulled away from him and burst into tears, dropping to her knees.
Deyn, honey, he said, crouching down before her. Don't worry. It'll be–
It's my fault.
What?
Oh, gods, Graeden. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.
What? No. How could it be your fault? You couldn't have known they'd stop us.
She looked up at him, then looked away with a guilty expression on her face.
Yes, I did.
Graeden blinked at her. What?
Oh, gods, she cried, hiding her face behind her hands.
Graeden sat back, silently watching her, and waited until she spoke.
It was Zevic's idea, she began, outwardly sobbing while her inward voice was mostly steady. He wanted to please the Elders, to gain a higher position, so he came up with this scheme: to invite a team of Agori doctors here, tempt them with women, and then keep them here.
She stopped and took a breath, and when she didn't resume, Graeden said evenly, Go on.
Zhadeyn glanced up at him quickly before looking down at her hands, and said, Zevic threatened me, told me I had to try to seduce one of you, to make up for the disgrace I'd put on my father because of my planned marriage. Zevic…He's my brother, you see…and he said I had to do this for him, to help him please the Elders, otherwise he'd rape me and beat me to death.
She paused, looking up at him with guilt and pleading in her eyes, and grabbed his hand, clutching it to her chest as she cried.
I'm so sorry. Graeden, I'm so sorry. I thought I didn't have a choice when you first arrived, and when you treated me so strangely—so nicely—compared to men here, I thought…Gods, I was selfish, wanting to know what marriage would be like to someone like you, rather than what I'd almost had before. And now that I know you…Gods, I'm so sorry. I've ruined your life, and you don't deserve it.
Her inner voice cut off, and she sobbed again, clinging to his hand as she bent over and cried. Graeden watched her for a moment, speechless, then pulled his hand free and stood up.
Graeden–
I need a moment.
He turned and walked out of the room, absentmindedly pacing the hallway and blindly moving from bedroom to bedroom, trying to decide what to do.
He sat down on the bed, staring blankly at the empty closet as his mind conjured up old memories: those of rage and betrayal, violence and danger, and then his guilty act that came from it all.
But the more he thought about it, the more he knew this time was vastly different.
Taking a deep breath, he sat up straight, closed his eyes for a moment, then went out to face his wife.
Zhadeyn, he murmured, crouching before her.
She let out a gasp and looked up, tears still streaming down her cheeks as she trembled.
In all fairness, he said, you did warn me, whether you meant to or not. Right at the beginning, you told me to leave, because you said they might not let me go. He paused, looking down at her bowed head. I don't appreciate that you weren't entirely honest with me, but what's done is done, and now I can't give you up. You mean too much to me. He paused again, taking a deep breath, and said, I guess we both had selfish reasons to be together in the first place, despite what was right or sensible.
Zhadeyn looked up at him, clasping her hands and shaking. I'm so sorry. Tell me what I can do. Tell me what to do to make it right. I don't want to be her to you.
Graeden smiled and reached out to wipe the tears from her cheeks. You couldn't be, thank the gods. No, you look like her, but that's where it ends. I'm grateful for you. You've given me the possibility of love and life that I never thought I could have. That I thought I had, but it was all lies and betrayal.
And you've given me everything, she said, pressing his hand between both of her own. It was wrong for me to want that, but I did.
No, it was right for you to want that. To want love? Freedom? An escape from slavery? Perhaps your means were dishonest, but never discount a natural human desire for liberty. There is nothing more precious than that.
What can I do? she begged. Please, tell me. I'll do anything you ask.
Graeden sat down and pulled her into his arms, rocking her gently while he thought.
Keep your eyes open, he said, keep portable food ready, and be prepared to leave at a moment's notice. The journey could be rough and dangerous, but there is another way off the Isle.
She sat back with a gasp, looking at him with disbelief.
How? No, wait, don't tell me. Then Zevic can't get it out of me if he grows suspicious. She took a deep, shaky breath, and let it out heavily. Whatever you want. When you say it's time to leave, I'll drop everything and run with you.
You may get tired and hungry and cold–
Zhadeyn shook her head. I don't care. As long as it gets you back home. I'll do whatever it takes.
Graeden looked at her, saw the firm sincerity in her eyes, and pulled her into an embrace again.
Alright, he said. We'll play along with their game, and when the time is right, we'll leave.
Zhadeyn nodded and clung to him, and it was several minutes before they managed to let go of one another and get up off the floor, all the while wondering how in seven hells they were going to sneak past the guards.
Chapter 26
DRESSED IN his new dust grey uniform—which, despite a 'fitting', didn't fit anywhere near as well as his own clothes had—Graeden resumed his daily routine at the hospital. Dr. Keisen gave him a sympathetic look, but he didn't say anything, and Graeden silently went to work, following every procedure to the letter and never openly complaining about the restrictions on supplies, medications, or operations. He stitched wounds, set bones, treated colds and fevers, just as he'd done the past five months, but all the while kept his head down and his mouth shut.
Every night, he went home to Zhadeyn, and they so easily slipped into the habit of communicating telepathically, as a matter of not being overheard by the guard, that when Graeden finally did speak aloud to a patient, his voice sounded less and less familiar to him.
Weeks passed, and though Graeden was constantly vigilant, looking for any chance to escape, none presented itself to him.
Then, one day, just over a month after he was supposed to return to Agoran, Graeden came home to find an officer lying dead at his front door.
His armed shadow jumped past him and checked on his fellow officer, but the man was clearly long gone.
The officer waited until another passed by close enough to flag down, and that one was posted at the door while the one that had followed Graeden home went for help to carry the dead officer away.
Graeden stepped inside the apartment, shut the door, and found Zhadeyn in the kitchen, wringing her hands while she moved about, finishing dinner. She saw Graeden and rushed toward him, giving him a quick and desperate hug before she stepped back and wrung her hands again.
I've done something awful, she said.
What's that? Graeden asked, taking off his coat and tossing it aside.
The guard outside, she began. Was he dead?
Yes, he said slowly.
Then it worked. Oh gods, it's so awful, but…I had to try, just in case…
Try what, exactly?
She gave him a guilty look, and kept her eyes on her hands as she explained, I was trying to think of a way to get past the guards, but nothing seemed likely to work, since they're armed and we aren't. But then I thought about my time in the hospital, when you were able to follow me inside and see my physical makeup…
She paused, so he crossed his arms and said, Go on.
Well, I thought: What if I could get inside his head, an
d find some way to hurt him, just to make him unable to follow us if we ran? I broke into his mind easily—his blocks were very weak—but then I saw his memories, so many violent things he'd done to people, and I got angry. I…I forced my way into the deepest recesses of his mind, made my way down to his heart, and tore apart the…I don't even know what you call it. The parts where blood comes in and out.
The arteries? Graeden gasped, wide-eyed. You actually cut through his arteries? In the gods' names, how?
She shrugged meekly and twisted her skirt in her hands. I just…saw how his cells were aligned, and instead of ordering them to replicate, I ordered them to die. The arteries separated from the heart and…and that was it.
Graeden sank into a chair, staring at her.
Holy shit.
Zhadeyn dropped to her knees at his feet. I know it's awful. It's so, so awful, but I had to try. I had to try something. If that's what it takes to get you to safety–
Deyn, honey, hush, he said, pulling her into his arms and staring blankly into space as he held her. Gods, I…I just…Shit. I don't even know what to say.
She hugged him back and said, I feel so useless. I wanted to be able to do something, since it's my fault you're stuck here. I've been practicing, doing anything I could think of to strengthen my mind. Telepathy, telekinesis, cell control…anything at all that might help. I know it's awful, but I'd do it again if it meant getting you back home to your family.
Zhadeyn–
I know it goes against everything you stand for, she said. You're a healer; you wouldn't condone killing. So please: Beat me, kill me, leave me behind when you go. I don't care. I just have to make this right for you. No matter what happens to me, you have to get back home.
You listen to me, he said firmly, grabbing her by the shoulders. I'm not going anywhere without you, alright? You and that child are coming with me to Agoran, where we'll be free. No, I don't like what you've done, but if they're willing to kill us to keep us here, then we might just have to be willing to kill them to escape. But… He paused, shaking his head. You really did that?
She nodded.
You…are beautiful and terrifying. And I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I almost wish I could see you do that. Well, maybe not kill a man but…see you destroy cells. The implications there…Oh, gods, listen to me. Is it awful that I'm professionally curious about this?
Zhadeyn looked at him for a moment, then burst out laughing, and Graeden couldn't help but join her, both of them doubled over and dispelling weeks of tension in a moment of twisted mirth.
Oh, gods, alright, Graeden said, getting his laughter under control while Zhadeyn wiped her eyes. We really should leave within the month, regardless of how, because I don't want you on the run any later than that. It's risky enough right now as it is, but the further along you get, the more dangerous it'll be, for you and the baby.
Zhadeyn turned suddenly sober, her laughter vanishing as she hugged herself, guarding their child.
So, if it comes to that—killing them, I mean—then so be it. He paused, and added, Especially if they fire first.
I'd say they already have, Zhadeyn murmured, glancing over at the door. They are holding guns to our heads, after all.
Yeah, Graeden said with a sigh, thinking of all the bullets that stood between them and the Gate in the capitol building. Yeah, they sure are.
* * *
FOR THE next three weeks, a new guard was posted at their door each night—to prevent, they were told, Graeden and Zhadeyn from learning any one particular officer's weaknesses or habits. The Elders were convinced the former guard's death was no accident, but they couldn't prove it.
When Graeden relayed this information to Zhadeyn, expecting her to be distraught over the new difficulty, she only smiled.
Good, she said. So now we just wait for one whose mind is weak enough.
Graeden stared at her blankly but didn't say anything, and night after night, he came home to Zhadeyn, who silently shook her head, not having to say a word.
And so they waited another day.
And another.
Until, one day, Graeden came home, and Zhadeyn greeted him with a hug and a smile.
This one, she said. I tested his mind earlier. This one I can break into.
Graeden nodded, heading straight to the washroom to shower and change, putting on a fresh uniform before they sat down to eat. They waited as patiently as they could, eating slowly, then going through the motions of washing dishes and casually stuffing a sack with food.
Then they sat in the dark, and waited some more.
In the sliver of moonlight creeping into the apartment, Graeden saw Zhadeyn close her eyes every few minutes, a look of intense concentration on her face.
Getting tired? he asked her.
She shook her head. Waiting for him to get tired…Ah, there.
She closed her eyes again, her whole body tensing up as she held her breath. She let out a gasp, and Graeden reached for her, but she kept working, trembling and breathing heavily, until she finally relaxed with a sigh.
What happened?
The deeper I got, the more he recognized the intrusion, and tried to fight back. He was too late, though. I was already almost there when he started to try forcing me out–
Outside the door, Graeden heard a choked cry, followed by the thud of something hitting the ground.
Graeden crept to the door with Zhadeyn close behind him, and he waited a moment before slowly easing the door open and peeking outside, seeing the guard lying dead, his face unnaturally pale in the moonlight.
After a quick glance around to make sure the streets were empty, Graeden took Zhadeyn's hand and they bolted out the door, keeping to the shadows as they darted from one street to another on their way to the river.
We'll need to get as far as we can while it's dark, he said. It'll be a while before we can sleep.
Zhadeyn nodded. Alright.
They found the river and turned north, picking their way along the banks and occasionally risking the nearby streets where the apartments were unoccupied so as to make better time. After an hour of walking, they paused at the sound of footsteps, and pressed up behind a tree, waiting and listening.
Deyn, if anything happens to me–
No! Graeden, please, don't even say that.
No, listen, he urged, grabbing her by the shoulders as he peeked around the tree, then looked back at her. If anything happens to me, you keep moving north, alright? You follow the river, cross Sonekha to the west, find the Gate.
No, Graeden, she said, stifling a sob.
You get yourself and our baby off this Isle, do you hear me? Promise me. Look, here. He projected an image of the bridge he'd found between Sonekha and the burial pit. Keep to the river until you find this place, then look west. He showed her the view he'd had of the mountain from that bridge. That clearing? The Gate is up there. He showed her the view of the valley from the clearing, from when his grandfather had sent him through. You go through the Gate. It puts you right onto my grandfather's property. He'll help you. Do you understand?
Zhadeyn stifled another sob, and nodded.
Now listen, Graeden added. His name is Benash Rothbur. You tell him who you are, and what happened to me, and he'll help you. You'll be safe, alright?
Alright, she said, taking a deep breath and trying to be strong for his sake.
Good, Graeden said with a nod, then peeked around the tree again. He listened for a long while, didn't hear any other movement, and took Zhadeyn's hand as he crept away.
Wait, Graeden, she said with a gasp. He turned to look at her and saw her staring at him with worry. You have to go back. What about…
Graeden's stomach turned, thinking of the people who would be devastated if he never came home, so he took a deep breath and leveled a look at Zhadeyn.
There's always a possibility we may not both make it, he told her. Gods forbid, but if that happens, if you make it through and I don't, have my grandfa
ther take you into the city, to the hospital downtown. Find apartment 607, and tell Mrs. Newar what happened. Remember that.
Hospital in the city. Apartment 607. Mrs. Newar, she repeated back to him. But how will she know I'm telling the truth?
I…I don't know. I'll think of something. He paused, swallowing his nerves, hoping it wouldn't come to that. I don't know what arrangements she'll want to make if I don't come back, but she'll need to know, anyway.
He looked at her intently, and she nodded. I won't forget. Benash Rothbur. The hospital downtown. 607. Mrs. Newar.
Graeden pulled her into an embrace, and whispered, “Thank you.”
They shared a look, clasped hands, and continued on their way.
* * *
SHORTLY AFTER midnight, they both decided they couldn't go any farther, shuffling along with exhaustion, and crept out toward the city to find shelter for a few hours. They went to a building that was half-collapsed, and climbed over the rubble to a room that was mostly intact, pushing the door shut as far as it would go and curling up together in a corner to keep each other warm.
Graeden woke just after sunsrise, lying as still as he could so as not to wake Zhadeyn. He hated having her on her feet for so long, and hoped he'd be able to get her to Agoran and get some decent rest, both for her sake and for the baby.
But first they had to reach the Gate.
Deyn? Honey?
He shook her gently and she instantly woke, blinking as she turned to look up at him.
Time to go? she asked with a yawn.
He nodded. Something to eat first, but yes. We really should keep moving.
Zhadeyn got up without complaint, and they dug into their sack of food, eating just enough to keep them going, then crept out of the crumbling apartment and darted into shadows on their way back to the trees and the river.
They ducked around behind a building and waited, peeking out at the street to make sure no one was nearby, then ran to the next building, crouching behind a pile of rubble and peeking out again.
Graeden held his breath, leaning out just enough to scan the street, and when he didn't see anyone coming, he reached back for Zhadeyn's hand and ran out of hiding.
