As he sucked blood from his victim and felt the strength of life it gave him, he reminded himself that his situation was different than Amaia’s had been. He held the responsibility to protect her. He couldn’t do that if he didn’t have fresh blood in him. However, Amaia had felt the same responsibility toward him when she’d been feeding exclusively from energies. And her task had been harder because he had been human. At least he knew Amaia could reasonably protect herself if the situation warranted it.
He recognized his rationale for what it was: an excuse. If Amaia had done it, then he could at least make an effort to feed from energy more than blood. He didn’t fool himself into thinking he had Amaia’s ability, but he could try. That was all he could ask of himself.
Finished with the girl, Michael faced the same choice he always did. A part of him leapt at the chance to kill her, to feed the monstrous lust inside him. However, it would only grant him a temporary high before he hated himself for it. So he did what he always did. He left her with hope.
“I’m afraid I must be going.”
“When will I see you again?” The sadness at his departure dimmed her eyes.
He tenderly caressed her face. “Perhaps never. I’m joining the army. I know it’s dreadful of me not to have told you, but I couldn’t bear the thought that you’d deny me. Seeing you walking earlier, I’ve never known such desire. I succumbed to temptation. It was wrong of me. I’m so sorry. If only I had met you before I enlisted.”
“Couldn’t you change your mind?”
“No, I’ve already signed my papers. Besides, I could never bring dishonor on you by fleeing like a coward. I can’t ask you to wait for me—I’ve signed a five-year term—but I hope you’ll permit me to hold on to hope. It’ll make the time go so much more swiftly.”
“Of course. Please, look me up when you’ve returned. Perhaps I’ll still be unattached.”
“You? Impossible. I’ve had all the luck I deserve, finding you now. I’ll keep your picture in my mind always. Please, don’t make my departure more difficult. I haven’t time for more.”
“Farewell then.”
Michael gave her one last kiss and was gone before she opened her eyes. At moments like this, it was easy to see why Amaia despised the stupidity of humans. That wasn’t fair though. He had manipulated the poor woman.
“Are you done?” he asked Amaia.
“Almost. I’m at the church. I’ll be finished by the time you get here.”
Michael didn’t particularly like Amaia feeding from churchgoers, but he couldn’t exactly judge her. Besides, he liked that she spent any time in churches. She had a fascination with them that he didn’t think would ever go away. As for himself, he was still much too conflicted with his beliefs to spend much time around churches. However, he did appreciate their beauty when he met Amaia in them.
When he entered the church, she was waiting for him in the last pew, as was their custom. He couldn’t see whoever her victim had been. The chapel was small and quaint, plainly furnished, the one luxury being a golden crucifix above the altar. Few other people were present. They were all either praying or simply sitting in quiet contemplation.
Michael didn’t formally pray. In fact, formal prayers had rarely held much place in his life with the exception of when he had been reincarnated as a woman and had become a nun. He’d seen religion shift and change with time. Not all of his lives had been spent as a Christian. He’d worshiped as a Muslim. The conflict of religions had never caused a conflict in his faith. It was the same God who directed and loved them all. Despite his lack of formal prayer, he often carried a prayer in his heart. He needed the strength of faith now. He prayed for Amaia’s safety, for their continued success in rallying vampires to their cause. He prayed that at the end of all this, he and Amaia could live the peaceful life they’d always wanted. And he prayed that by acting as if he still had faith, his faith would return to him.
“What are you thinking about?” It was the first thing he’d said to Amaia since he’d entered.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“I bet your answer is more interesting.”
“Me too. I was thinking about that time in Palermo when you were a woman, and we had sex in that church.”
Michael couldn’t control the grin that took over his face. “Pleasant memories.”
“Very.”
“Unfortunately, I’m afraid we have too much of an audience for a repeat performance.”
“I was always surprised you didn’t feel bad about it afterward. I thought you would regard it as blasphemous.”
Michael shrugged. “I believe in God, not religion. While I appreciate churches, I’ve felt God’s presence in nature as much as I have in a chapel. If I abstained from sex anywhere God might see me, then I’d be celibate.”
“And that’s certainly not an option.” Amaia slipped her hand into his lap.
“No, it’s not.”
“Then let’s go find someplace a little more private.”
Amaia led him out of the church. Michael took some of the energy from the worshippers before he left. He needed to cultivate that habit more, and the energy of God-fearing people seemed to be a good thing.
They found a lovely secluded spot in a field where they weren’t likely to be seen. One of Michael’s favorite things about traveling as a vampire was that they didn’t take lodgings anywhere. Since they didn’t require sleep, there was no need to, and they never stayed anywhere long enough to make it worth the expense. That meant he and Amaia often had sex in nature, surrounded by colors and smells and textures that only enhanced their lovemaking.
When he looked at Amaia’s smiling face as he entered her, pain filled his chest. So much uncertainty lay ahead of them. He never let himself consider even for a moment that Amaia might die. He’d had to put a stop to that when he almost lost himself to the darkness that stretched before him as he’d contemplated that possibility early on in their journey. As much as he guarded himself against such thoughts, his control was not perfect. They had come so far, overcome so many obstacles. He had to believe they would emerge victorious once again. Belief did not come easily, especially now that his faith in God, or rather his faith that he was in God’s favor, wavered.
Amaia pricked his upper arm and drank his blood. As always, it sent an erotic thrill through him, giving him more pleasure and stoking his lust more than her mouth on his cock could have. He pushed all thoughts away, focusing on her as he sank his fangs into her breast, drawing her strength to him through her blood as she sucked away his doubts.
Chapter 32
“How do we know this whole thing won’t blow over? When it does, we don’t want word getting to Zenas that we had thought about fighting against him. In all likelihood, this is going to end with him killing a few vampires and the rest fleeing.” A nomad named Oliver took care to explain to them why he and his mate Sarah couldn’t join them.
Michael had no patience for this man. He didn’t know why they were even bothering. His aura had no strength to it whatsoever. The behavior Oliver feared from the other nomads when battle approached was simply a reflection of the behavior he would exhibit. This was a waste of time, especially when they had so little left.
“It’s not going to be like that, Oliver.” Michael was glad Liam had taken it upon himself to do the talking with this one. He didn’t trust himself to hold his temper. “You know me. I’m no fool. This is important. I wouldn’t impose on our friendship otherwise.”
Michael didn’t hear Oliver’s response. An evil energy tingled at the edge of his consciousness. In the past, that would have meant an excuse to kill. He abstained, though. Still, it stirred a longing inside him.
They’d been playing cat and mouse with this pair of vampires for quite some time, chasing them through the countryside. Oliver and Sarah had finally darted into this town to feed. Their mistake. With so many people around, they couldn’t run any faster than a mortal or do anything that would draw attent
ion. It had been too easy to corner them between two buildings to have this hushed conversation. Since they were in a large town, plenty of auras milled about. It didn’t surprise Michael that he should feel an evil one.
Every time he tried to turn his mind from the aura to the conversation, something in his mind prevented him. It was as if he was missing something vitally important. The energy grew stronger the closer it came. As Michael felt more of it, he realized there was something familiar about it. It felt exactly like the aura of the first evil man he had killed. Only it was stronger.
He took stock of the current situation. Oliver and Sarah were clearly not a threat, and they were outnumbered. Amaia could get word to him if things turned dangerous. “Do you mind if I go feed? I don’t think you’re in any danger here.” He didn’t want to tell her he planned to investigate an evil aura. She’d worry about it turning into an unhealthy obsession.
“Go ahead. I’d join you, but I’d hate to leave Meg and Liam to deal with these two on their own. It isn’t fair for them to be the only ones to suffer through this.”
Michael smiled. “Let me know when Liam’s finally decided to give up on them.”
Once he was on the street, he followed the aura, surveying the crowd as he did so. This aura couldn’t possibly be the same one, despite the evidence to the contrary. Michael had more than killed that man. He’d completely drained him. Amaia had helped dispose of the body. Even if he were capable of dreaming, it couldn’t be one because he and Amaia had spoken of it.
He narrowed in on where the familiar energy came from. A woman up ahead of him blocked his view. The aura was right in front of her. Michael jostled to get around a portly couple on a leisurely stroll so he could get a clear view.
What he saw brought him to a halt. He shouldn’t have been surprised. He should have expected this, him of all people.
A person ran into him from behind, unable to adjust to his sudden stop. The contact spurred him to keep moving, to follow the woman. He strode to her side and peered into the pram she pushed. There, wrapped in a blanket, was a baby. The source of the energy. Michael wished he could vomit.
He quickly turned and walked in the opposite direction, away from the temptation to snap that delicate little neck. The world around him faded into the background. All he could do was think about what he had just seen.
Of course he knew reincarnation existed. He was all the proof he needed of that. It had never occurred to him that the evil people he had killed would simply return as evil people again. It was a foolish oversight. After all, Michael had returned each life to a different body, but he had always remained himself. He supposed a part of him had thought his situation was unique.
All that time he had killed and comforted himself with the thought that he was carrying out God’s will was for naught. If anything, he’d made matters worse. If that baby’s aura was any indication, the people he had killed would only come back stronger. By cutting their lives short, he had increased the speed at which their energy would grow.
Michael calmed his frantic heart. It beat wildly, fueled by his anger. While he had never reconciled himself after seeing that little girl at the Red Lion, he had at least contented himself by determining not to think about it. In an instant, that contentment shattered.
Surely there was some answer. There had to be a point to it all. What were the odds that he should encounter this child? In the vastness of the world, to end up in this particular town at this particular time, especially when he had taken to traveling to different continents, was unthinkable.
Up ahead, Michael spotted a church. If he kept walking, he might never stop. He needed to think, and a church provided the perfect place. He entered quietly and sat himself in the last pew. The choir practiced in their perch. Instead of resisting the music, Michael let it wash over him. Perhaps it could calm his troubled thoughts.
He tried to be gentle with himself. He’d only ever done what his conscience had dictated. He hadn’t simply tried to find a way to justify his killing. As soon as he questioned whether it was right, he had quit. He hadn’t taken a single life since the Red Lion. Perhaps Liam was right, and Michael’s beliefs were stupid. Maybe Michael really was just a vampire and nothing else. If he believed all creatures were God’s creation, then that meant vampires were too, which meant their desire to kill was created by God.
No, that wasn’t right. It was up to man to tame his baser desires to be worthy to enter into God’s kingdom. The same must hold true for vampires. Yet that didn’t make sense either. Michael had died multiple times and never entered heaven. He’d always assumed it was because he had not yet fulfilled his purpose. As a vampire though, if and when he was killed—hopefully after many millennia with Amaia—he’d be dead forever. Only then would he discover which belief system had been right. It seemed an awfully long time to wait. Maybe he needed to abandon these thoughts of his and just let life go as it would.
Maybe therein lay his answer.
The beginnings of hope swelled within him. Once vampires died, they were gone forever. They did not reincarnate. It was why they feared death as much as they did. If he wanted to truly rid the world of the evil auras he encountered, the solution was painfully simple: he need only transform them into vampires and then kill them.
Here was the answer to everything. He still couldn’t bring himself to kill a child, but once the child grew into an adult, he’d have no qualms with permanently ending an evil life. It wouldn’t even be that difficult. What person with an evil soul, when given the opportunity for immortality, wouldn’t take it? As soon as he thought it, peace descended on him, a peace that had eluded him for so long. He’d found his calling.
The peace only lasted a few minutes before Amaia’s frantic voice entered his mind. “Where are you?”
“In the church. Why?”
“Lawrence just contacted me. He made an offer you need to hear.”
“I’ll meet you outside.”
The choir’s song ended. He’d received his answer. He exited the church with the determination to face his future.
Chapter 33
Michael appeared serene when Amaia met him outside the church with Meg and Liam. Even though he had always been religious, she found it strange to see him at a church without her. She didn’t think he’d gone by himself since they’d been together. He rarely even joined her on her observational excursions.
“What, Oliver and Sarah didn’t decide to join us?” Michael widened his eyes in mock surprise.
“No, and Liam would still be trying to convince them if Lawrence hadn’t contacted me.”
“I would never have taken Oliver for a coward until today.”
Amaia could tell it hurt Liam to see that his faith in his friend had been so ill-placed. She guessed he’d lose more faith before this was through. She didn’t expect everyone who had vowed allegiance would show for the battle.
“So what did Lawrence have to say?” Michael held her hand as they walked away from the church.
“Let’s find a place where we can talk more easily.” She had spotted a park a few blocks away.
Once they were seated under a tree away from other people, she spoke. “He says there are some malcontents in Zenas’s clan.”
“Not surprising,” Michael said.
“Lawrence is offering to side with us in the battle. He and his followers want to break from Zenas, and this is how they want to do it.”
“No, absolutely not.” Anger suffused Michael’s face.
“If his offer is genuine, it would ensure our victory.” Liam made eye contact with Michael.
“No. We have no reason to trust him and every reason not to. He’s only ever looked out for his own interests.”
“And if his interests align with ours, it’s not wrong to take advantage of that fact.”
Amaia stepped in to ease the tension between the two men. “He certainly isn’t offering for my benefit. I hold no illusions about that. He’s offering because he wants
to destroy Zenas and step in to fill the void. Even if we don’t accept his offer, he may do it anyway. If he does fight on the same side as us, there’s every chance he will turn around and attack us once it’s over.”
“Has he sired anyone else?”
Meg’s question caught her off guard. For much of her life it had been just her and Lawrence. Even though she despised him, the thought of him having replaced her still pricked her with…what? Jealousy? Melancholy? No, she couldn’t let her own feelings interfere at the moment. Lawrence would need the help of a child, if for no other reason than he needed someone safe to vent his plan to. However, he wouldn’t transform just anyone. He’d been alone for ages before he transformed Amaia. Then again, how did she know she was his first? Now she was just being silly. Of course she was the first, it was the meaning of her name, and even if she didn’t trust Lawrence to be honest, Zenas had confirmed that she was his first child.
He would only transform someone who could advance their race. Lawrence wouldn’t compromise his core beliefs, not when it came to creating a companion for himself. It would be more difficult to find a good candidate without Amaia’s help. It would have to be a person with an extraordinarily strong aura that even Lawrence could sense the full power of. Even if he did find such a person, would he be willing to break one of Zenas’s cardinal rules and make the transformation? He had done it before, but it had been risky and took a great public show of remorse for Zenas to forgive him. Given how things had turned out with her, Zenas would likely not be so forgiving a second time. Lawrence could keep it a secret but not for long. With the battle coming and his planned defection, he would need to keep in Zenas’s good graces to avoid suspicion.
Immortal Echoes (Haunting Echoes Book 2) Page 19
