by Beth Shriver
Elsie thought of every reason she could say no. The memories of her time there with Jake would be painful. Their families hardly spoke since Jake and Katie left. The awkwardness of being with the Fishers would make it hard to go through the emotions that would arise. She avoided them, not knowing what to say and unsure where to find forgiveness in her heart for her sister or Jake. But she couldn’t stay away forever.
Neither could she overcome her fear of being alone along the countryside. Since the vile harassment by the young English men, Elsie made a point to stay put on the farm or have someone with her. She often wished she’d confided in her parents right after it happened. As more time passed, the secret she held ate at her. She and Katie should have told what happened, because now the secret seemed no different from a lie, making the telling harder.
Elsie didn’t know if she was physically up for the walk. She hadn’t felt well all morning, and the temperature changed abruptly, making the day warm and muggy. The Fishers’ place wasn’t far but enough to complain about. Maybe it was an excuse. Her family worried about her adjusting to Katie and Jake’s leaving. Maybe this was one way to show them she was better. Even more so, she needed to prove it to herself.
“Okay, I’ll go.” She stood tall but didn’t look into their eyes. She was too close to saying no.
Mamm stared at Daed as if she didn’t approve. Her lips parted, but she remained silent. Daed avoided her gaze, an act of will power to avoid both of their stares. “Gut girl.” He nodded and walked out the door. Elsie followed, but her mamm stopped her.
“Elsie, you don’t have to go.” Mamm took her hand.
“It’s okay. They’re our neighbors, and I’ve been to their haus since . . . since they left, remember? I’ll be all right.” Elsie had to believe it herself before she could convince Mamm.
Mamm nodded. “Jah, you did well at the haus raising for their mammi and dawdi.” Mamm stared at her with hopeful eyes.
She didn’t need to know the pain Elsie felt that day. She was fine on the front lawn and preparing the food, but she couldn’t go up to the porch where she and Jake had spent so much time together. And seeing the Fishers with their three boys left a big hole where Jake had been. Being the oldest, he assisted his daed not only with their blacksmith trade but also with caring for his brother Chris, who was a little slow.
“It’ll be gut for me and make Daed feel better.”
Mamm nodded. “Okay then.” She patted Elsie’s cheek and kissed her on the forehead, then caught up to Daed, who was on his way to the barn. “Solomon.”
“Jah, Meredith.” He stopped but didn’t turn around.
Elsie heard his reluctant reply, but she turned away when they began to talk in hushed tones. Not wanting to be a burden, she walked on and didn’t look back.
Chapter Two
THE WALK TO the Fishers’ house was less than a mile, but Elsie felt it was twice as long in the heat of the sun slowly rising overhead, burning off the threat of rain. Her simple task was to ask them if they could help her daed with a broken axle; she could do that and would think of nothing else. But she couldn’t let her mind rest with the thought of those young men finding her again. Elsie turned and glanced over her shoulder once, twice, and then again. After the third time she made her-self keep her head facing forward, but even so she found she still listened for the sound of a motorized car. I will not live in fear, she repeated in her head.
She wiped the beads of sweat from her brow and turned down the dirt lane, lined with oak trees that led to the Fisher home. Her vision blurred as she tried to make out the distance. Her parched mouth and weak knees told her she needed water. It was foolish not to have drunk her fill before leaving, but she’d known if she didn’t leave right then, she wouldn’t go at all.
Wagons and buggies were lined up by the workshop. The large wooden building held tools and had stalls for horses needing shoes replaced or repaired. Although there were other blacksmiths in the community, the Fishers were usually chosen. They did the work more quickly due to the number of sons who knew the trade, and their skilled daed, Eli, oversaw the quality.
Elsie squinted as she looked ahead and saw a figure standing on the white porch. She couldn’t make out the face until she was closer to the house and saw him turn to go inside. It could be Fishers’ youngest son, Chris, who was shy around her and a bit slow. She squinted as she got to the house to see someone standing still right inside the door, not moving or speaking as she approached.
“Hallo.” The need for water overtook her usual instinct to with-draw. She anxiously stepped up to the porch. One step and then another, and she was standing at the last place she’d seen Jake . . .
The rocker squeaked each time Elsie pushed back with her toes. They had a perfect view of the barn raising the community was building for her cousins, John and Annie Yoder, whose barn burned to the ground.
“You need some oil,” Jake informed her with a hint of a Texas accent.
“I don’t need o-il.” She enunciated the word. “The chair does. And if you keep talking like a Texan, Minister Zeke will scold you for not speaking our native tongue.” She grinned, thinking that was a clever way to make him stop.
“Zeke doesn’t concern me like he does you and the rest. He leaves his work to the deacons.” The wind played with his blond hair that was too long.
Elsie sucked in air, having never heard anyone bold enough to say such a thing. “You shouldn’t speak that way.” She glanced around them to see if anyone was within hearing distance. It was true to a point, and now that he got her thinking about it, she thought maybe he was right.
“What way, the truth?” Jake continued to whittle a piece of wood with his knife as the men gathered together to begin their work. The women set out egg sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, and the sweet tea they’d become accustomed to.
Elsie eyed the shoofly pie and was satisfied. “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble talking like that.”
“I didn’t think you could be persuaded so easily.” He stopped for a moment to get her attention.
Elsie was about to defend herself when a herd of animals came running at them like a stampede; sheep and a couple pigs with the dogs nipping at their tails ran through and around the porch. Adam and Aaron’s job was to herd the animals away, which wasn’t an easy task with the new sprung grass in the front lawn. Jake started after a sheep that zigzagged to dodge him, but he fell, landing on his side with a sore arm that was on the mend.
Elsie waded her way through the mass of people and animals until she reached him. She took one step closer, lost her balance, and came tumbling down, landing on top of him. She put out her arms to push away, but he stopped her. His blue eyes shimmered against the sun, and for one second it was just the two of them, the noise and commotion mute for an instant. The warmth of his body made her uncomfortable, and she slid away.
Jake stood and offered her his hand, looking down at her with a grin. The combination of senses never left her mind, or the way he looked at her that day.
Small flecks of light drifted across her eyes, making her dizzy. She put a hand on the side of the house. Her brain told her to move away from the place where Jake told her he was leaving. Forcing her feet to go forward, she was distracted by the sound of footsteps inside the house walking away.
Figuring whoever it was hadn’t seen her, she called out, “It’s Elsie Yoder.” Her voice was too parched to carry all the way into the house, so she stopped and sat down on the top stair. A slight breeze blew through the wisps of brown hair that escaped her kapp. She gave herself a moment to watch streaks of sunlight as they lit up the rolling hills.
Elsie again gathered the energy to go up to the front door. Maybe another family would hear her, give her water, and tend to the axle. Her daed would want her to at least give one of them the information.
“Hallo, it’s Elsie.” Silence. “Is anyone here?” She knocked again.
Elsie put her hands up around her eyes
and her face against the screen. The smell of fresh bread drifted through the air, but still she heard no sounds. Even if she couldn’t tell them about the axle, she needed water before she left. Her throat burned with the thought of going back home without getting a drink. She decided to go around to the back to see if she could find someone.
Elsie pushed her body forward across the porch, back to the stairs, and then heard the front door creak. She turned on her heel with newfound energy. Perhaps someone was finally here to help her.
Mose took a step out, held the door open, and started when he saw her. He was the second eldest son, a year older than Elsie. His blond hair and blue eyes were so similar to Jake’s it made her pause.
“Elsie, come in. It’s gut to see you.” He spoke slowly so Elsie could understand him. She smiled as he held the door open so she could enter.
“Can I trouble you for some water?” She put a hand to her throat on impulse.
“Of course. Sit down.” He helped her to the closest chair. She sat on the edge of it, impatient to quench her thirst.
Their home was plainer than hers—no colorful quilts or rugs or even a calendar on the wall to add a splash of color. There were only two chairs in the family room, but the kitchen was crammed with eight chairs surrounding a large wooden table.
As Mose walked away, Elsie remembered Katie talking about how handsome he was. The slight curl to his thick hair, along with his sturdy build, made it hard not to stare.
Mose returned quickly and handed Elsie the glass. She drank big gulps until he put a hand up to stop her. “Take slow drinks.” He squatted down to see her straight on. “Better?” He reached for the glass, but she shook her head.
“Thank you, but I’m not finished.” She took a couple more sips and felt the cool liquid soothe her throat and chest.
Mose didn’t take his eyes off her and squinted in concern. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, but when Mose put a hand on her arm, Elsie felt awkward at his touch. It would have been proper to move her arm away, but she didn’t. The resemblance to his brother was too strong.
Mose leaned back but kept his eyes on her. His slight smile made Elsie feel at ease. The dizziness began to fade, along with the burn in her throat. It was nothing more than the humidity and heat that caused the reaction. “I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well. I shouldn’t have come.”
“I’m glad you did, Elsie. I’ve missed your smiling face.” He grinned as he said the words.
She was glad that’s how he thought of her. This person she had become was not who she was. “I’m afraid I’ve let things go too long. I should have come sooner.” She glanced across the room remembering happier times there. When he turned her way with questions in his eyes, she realized she should tell him why she came. “My daed needs help with a broken axle.”
He tilted back slightly. “Oh, so this isn’t a social visit.”
She heard the disappointment in his voice as his expression became serious. It was then she realized she was a reminder for him. He was missing his brother in the same way she missed her sister.
Mose took her empty glass.
“I don’t think it’s urgent. If one of you could come to our place and take a look, my daed would appreciate it.” Elsie stood and lifted her head to study his eyes. The bright blue eyes, Jake’s eyes, made her stare as she waited for him to answer.
“I can go now and take the buggy so you don’t have to walk back home. You look a lot better than when you first got here. Was it just the heat?” The compassionate glance appeared again, making her feel silly for bothering him with her discomfort.
“Jah, I’m fine. Thanks for coming over so soon.” News of the buggy changed his focus. The longer they were together, the more comfortable she felt.
“Okay then, let’s get you home.”
With all the awkward emotions reeling in her mind, she couldn’t agree more. She sat on the porch with Chris and watched Mose harness the horse to the buggy then got a metal toolbox and put it behind the seats.
Elsie scanned the fields and was sure it would be more than they could handle to run the blacksmith shop, plus grow as much crop as they did, without a household full of boys. Even Chris’s disabilities didn’t hold him back; he was good with the land and took more pride in it than most, sort of an obsession of sorts.
“All ready.” Mose rested his arm on the porch beam and held out a hand to lead the way.
Elsie could hear the heel of his boot hit the ground with each step close behind her. “Bye, Chris.” She turned to him as she walked across the porch.
He waved at her with a smile. “So long.”
When she got to the buggy, Mose held up a hand to help her in then walked around and sat beside her. This was not ideal, the two of them being together alone, but was a necessity. She knew her parents would understand, but she hoped they wouldn’t run into his mamm and daed. This isn’t the way she wanted to see them; it would be uncomfortable enough without anything else to fret over. But sitting next to Mose with their shoulders touching did make Elsie a little uncomfortable; she needed to separate him from Jake. It was hard to do, with the similar appearance, voice, and lithe build. They could almost be twins.
“It is awful hot out here.” Mose turned to her. “Are you sure you’re all right?” His intense blue eyes were too familiar, and she looked away, watching the puffs of dirt kicked up by the horse.
“I’m fine. I feel silly to have bothered you.” She wanted to forget about her weak moment and talk about something else. But the question lingering in her mind might not be well received. “Have you heard anything?” She didn’t want to blurt it out but didn’t want to miss the opportunity to get information about Katie.
Mose was quiet then finally spoke. “Nee. Have you?” He didn’t take his eyes off the road, but his monotone response made her think he was trying to push it away. Elsie wondered why talking with Mose was so different from talking to Gideon. Was it because Mose seemed more like her equal, even though Gideon was probably the kindest person she knew?
“Have you?” Mose asked again.
“Nee.” She knew better than to ask but was still glad she did. She felt his stare but didn’t want to talk about it. She kept her gaze straight ahead on her family’s white two-story clapboard house and the cluster of oak trees that surrounded it.
Mose jumped out, tethered the horse, and then went over to Elsie as she stepped out of the buggy. He stood quietly in front of her for a long moment. “If you ever need anything, let me know.” He nodded earnestly and headed to the lame wagon tilting to the side.
Elsie wondered if something was hidden in his words, took one last glance, and then hurried into the house.
Chapter Three
THE SUN EASING down behind the horizon gave Gideon just enough light to make his way to the Yoders’ barn. Their farm was plentiful with rich soil, producing one of the best crops, and the Yoders were as strong as the harvest they sowed. Thank God, as they were given a great cross to bear.
Gideon entered the stables. Solomon stood with his back to him, rubbing his neck. A bay mare paced back and forth whinnying. She stopped, put her head down, then slowly knelt. As soon as she made the forward motion, Solomon rushed to help her.
Gideon came to his side. Solomon stared at him as a broad smile crossed his face. “I do not see you for days, and then when I need you, you are here, praise Gott!”
“There is still a lot of transitioning for those of you who have moved down here from up north. It takes awhile to settle in, and I’m glad to help them.” Gideon knew Solomon appreciated his visits since Will owned a farm now and the twins were too young to be much assistance with certain chores. The needs of the community kept Gideon away, but his own family was blessed with five boys, of which he was the eldest, so he was able to tend to others easier than some. Bishop Omar gave his blessing for Gideon to do so as well. He was glad to be back with the Yoder family, and even more so with Solomon’s daughter Elsie.
/> The two men helped bring the animal down as gently as they could. Not that they were much help to the nine-hundred-pound mare, but it was Solomon’s nature to try and help. Solomon didn’t call for the local veterinarian, having grown confident with the birthing process. Solomon was there for his wife, Meredith, when she delivered each of their children and was a great comfort to her as well. He learned much from the community midwife, Alma, who arrived too late for the twins’ delivery.
The mare whinnied and threw her head back. Her labor had started, and if all went well, it would be over within the hour. Solomon put his hand up to the mare’s head and stroked her. When the colt’s legs pushed through, Solomon gently tugged on them to help the mare along. He spoke quiet comforts while she worked at bringing new life into the world—God’s miracle right before their eyes. Within a short time the colt tried to rise on long jittery legs. The proud momma licked her new babe, nudging him to stand.
“You pick the oddest times to show up, Gideon Lapp.” Solomon sounded exhausted but delighted to have a healthy new colt and Gideon there with him.
Gideon felt slightly fatigued from spending most of his days with families in need, but he knew Solomon’s fatigue was worse. The last year had been difficult adjusting to the move to Texas. Katie’s leaving the community made it even worse. It seemed to have been hardest on Elsie. The sisters were close, which explained Elsie’s heartache. But she showed little progress working through her sister’s departure. He felt there was something more behind her sorrow.
“Thank God you are back,” Solomon said as much to himself as to Gideon. The man wept when Katie left. It was one thing to deal with a child leaving the community, but an abrupt abandonment was too much to bear. The wrinkles under his eyes were more prominent, and his weak smile never touched his eyes.
“I came for a visit, not to tend to your mare.” Gideon tried to lighten the mood, but it seemed neither had the energy. Their job done here, he wanted to have a moment with Elsie. He only hoped she would receive him. The longer her resentment over Katie’s leaving went on, the further she pushed him away.
