“More than you can imagine.”
“I’m sorry. I know you don’t believe that, but I am. Christie and I are doing fine. We don’t want financial assistance. As far as that’s concerned, all I care about is a college trust fund for her.”
Her fingers were long and lean. They rested on her jeans. She’d pulled up the sleeves of her sweater. He could see her finely boned wrists and the inexpensive watch she wore. He raised his gaze past the tempting curve of her breasts-ignoring the faint stirring of interest that started deep inside-to the small gold hoops at her ears. She wasn’t flashy. If she really wasn’t interested in his money, then she was unlike any woman he’d met since Robin died.
“Frankly I’m more interested in what you can give Christie emotionally rather than financially,” she said.
He braced his arms on the chair. “What does that mean?”
“Christie needs a father in her life. If you want to take on that role, then it’s a real commitment. She would need regular contact with you. Before you agree to anything, you have to think this through. I’d rather know now if you’re not interested, because I don’t want her heart broken.”
“I would never hurt her,” he said quietly, then wondered why he spoke the lie. Of course he would hurt her. He hurt every woman who had ever cared about him. Eventually he let them down.
He pushed the past away and concentrated on Erin. “Assuming I want to be involved with Christie, what are you suggesting? You sound as if you have a plan.”
She nodded. “The distance is a problem. Also, Christie has friends and school. She can’t be taken away from that just because it’s convenient for you. My suggestion is that you fly down and visit her every third weekend. It will be easier for you to travel than for her. She’s too young to go on a plane by herself, and I can’t drive her up here for the weekend.”
“Agreed,” he said, wondering what on earth he was getting himself into. He was going to take Christie for a weekend? Down there? He wouldn’t even have Kiki to help, unless he brought her, but he doubted his housekeeper would be willing to give up her social life to travel with him.
“During the summer Christie can come up for two weeks at the beginning and two weeks at the end. Also, you can have the week after Christmas.”
Dates and times whirled through his head. “You’ve thought this through.”
“I figured I’d better. After all I’ve known about this longer than you have. If it’s agreeable, Christie and I will stay in town for the next couple of weeks so the two of you can get to know each other. I’ll be around to help you over the rough spots.” She smiled. “I know how hard it is to suddenly be responsible for a child, especially without warning.”
He didn’t know what to say. Erin’s plan was sensible, although there was something about it he didn’t like. However, he couldn’t come up with anything specific so he let it go. Of course he wanted to spend time with his daughter. He’d just found her and he wasn’t going to lose her again.
Then he realized what was wrong. Erin’s sensible plan placed limitations on his time and involvement. What if he wanted to be a full-time father instead of a part-time one? There wasn’t room in her equation for that.
Before he could mention it, Christie burst into the room followed by Kiki. The girl had an armful of flowers cut from the garden.
Erin looked at her. “Those are beautiful.”
“Kiki said I could pick them for you.” She crossed the room and placed the flowers in her mother’s lap. “They smell nice, too.”
“Thank you.” Erin’s smile included the housekeeper as well.
“You know what else?” Christie asked, dancing from foot to foot.
“No. What?”
“Well, you said we would stay in town for a while so I could get to know my daddy.” Christie smiled winningly. “But we don’t have to stay so far away. We could stay right here. I found the perfectest room all for myself.”
Chapter Four
Erin stared at her daughter, sure she must have misunderstood what she was saying. One look at Parker’s stunned expression told her she had not. Christie wanted to stay here-with her father.
It wasn’t possible, of course. The complications. The awkwardness alone boggled the mind. Besides, Erin had a feeling she was going to need some breathing room away from Parker. For some reason her hormones had decided to start line-dancing whenever he was in the vicinity.
She caught a quick movement out of the corner of her eye. Kiki was inching toward the door.
“It’s all the way at the top of the house,” Christie said, her voice bright with excitement. She was completely oblivious to any tension in the room. “I can see the ocean and the whole sky. There’s a rocking horse and playhouse and a big bed to sleep in all by myself.” Her smile was winning. “Across the hall is a grown-up room just for you. There’s a window with a seat. There’s even a little wooden box by the bed,” Christie went on, grinning widely. “You know, for a puppy.”
Erin dropped her head to her chest and fought back a groan. When had everything gotten so out of hand?
“Kiki,” Parker said sternly. “What have you been telling Christie?”
The housekeeper had almost made it to the hallway. At the question, she paused, then slowly walked back into the room. “I didn’t say anything.”
Parker raised his eyebrows and waited.
“Well, I didn’t,” Kiki said defiantly. “Christie mentioned that she and her mother were planning on staying in town for a couple of weeks. This place is large enough to house a regiment. It seems silly for them to be paying a hotel bill when all this space is available.”
“So you thought you’d tell her that?”
“It may have slipped out,” she confessed. “But you must admit having them stay here isn’t a bad idea.”
Parker glanced at Erin and shook his head. “She’s been with me too long to fire, but sometimes she tries my patience.”
“Don’t talk about me as if I weren’t in the room,” Kiki said.
“Would you rather I said what I was thinking?”
Kiki sighed. “Not really.”
Erin looked at Parker and was pleased that he didn’t seem truly annoyed by the conversation. At least he had a sense of humor. The real question was did he have a solution? Kiki and Christie stared at her with matching hopeful expressions. She didn’t know what to say. For one thing, Parker hadn’t invited them. For another, it wasn’t a good idea. She could feel it in her bones, and in her stomach.
“I don’t think-” she began.
“If Christie stays here, Parker has a better chance to get to know his daughter,” Kiki interrupted. “After all, he has a lot of time to make up for.”
That one hurt, Erin thought, as the blow fell squarely below her belt.
“Kiki, I appreciate what you’re doing,” Parker said. “But it isn’t necessary.”
Erin touched the cool leather of the sofa and wondered what she should do. While she was still trying to figure that out, Christie cut to the heart of the matter. She crossed the study and stood directly in front of her father.
After placing one small hand on his knee she said, “Daddy, do you want Mommy and me to stay with you?”
Erin rose to her feet. “Christie, that’s enough. You can’t put your father on the spot like that. This morning he didn’t even know about us. We’re here to get to know each other and that’s what we’re going to do. We don’t have to live in the same house to become acquainted.”
Christie turned toward her. Her lower lip trembled slightly. “But, Mommy, we’re ‘posed to live together. Mommy and Daddy and me. You read that to me. ‘member?”
Unfortunately, Erin did ’member. She’d checked out a couple of books on different kinds of families from the library. She’d thought they would help Christie understand that she wasn’t the only one being raised by a single parent. Some of the chapters had talked about extended families. A new mommy or daddy joined the family, then he or
she came to live with them. It was perfectly normal. Common even. Only it wasn’t going to happen this time. She and Parker might be Mommy and Daddy, but they weren’t going to live together.
Erin walked over to her daughter and knelt down on the area rug. Parker was a scant foot away, but she did her best to ignore him. She took her daughter’s hands in hers, marveling as she always did at how small her palms and fingers were; small, yet perfectly formed.
“Christie, it doesn’t matter if Parker and I live together or never see each other again. You’re the important one. You need to get to know your father. That’s why we’re here. You’re going to get a chance to do that, but it will be easier if we’re staying at the hotel.”
Easier for the adults, at least, Erin thought. Aside from the privacy, she was going to need the downtime.
She glanced at Parker who was staring at her intently. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You’ve had a lot of shocks today. Why don’t I take Christie back to the hotel and we can pick this up in the morning?”
He didn’t respond. Instead he frowned slightly. “I’m not sure what’s best,” he said, then turned to Christie. “Do you want to stay here?”
She nodded until her pigtails flapped like two flags in a stiff breeze.
He leaned forward in his chair and placed his elbows on his knees. His face was close enough to hers that she could see the individual whiskers that would soon darken his jawline. His dark irises were a mixture of colors. Brown, dark blue, hints of green and gold.
“It’s not a bad idea,” he finally said.
Erin blinked at him. Not a bad idea? Was he insane? It was a hideous idea. It was the worst idea she’d ever heard. Unfortunately she couldn’t say any of that. The air had fled her lungs and she couldn’t speak. She didn’t know if it was the force of his gaze or the scent of his body, but either way, she was immobilized.
“I would like the time to get to know Christie,” he continued. “There’s plenty of room for both of you.”
“Please, Mommy,” Christie begged.
“Don’t forget, I live here,” Kiki said from her place by the door. “I’ll be the chaperon.”
Parker straightened immediately. His face hardened, and his expression became unreadable. Erin felt as if she’d been slapped. Obviously even the thought of anything happening between them was so repugnant, he could barely stay seated. Well, that was just fine with her. She wasn’t interested in him, either. Pray God he hadn’t been able to tell what she was thinking earlier when just the lightest touch of his fingers on the small of her back had sent heat spiraling through her body. Something was very wrong with her and as soon as she figured out what it was, she was going to get it fixed.
She stood up and glanced from Parker to Kiki to Christie. She didn’t know what to do. Staying would probably be best for Christie and Parker. They would need time to get to know each other before they could bond.
“Say yes,” Christie whispered.
“Say yes,” Kiki said.
Finally Parker glanced up at her. “I would like the two of you to stay.”
She drew in a deep breath. “All right.”
Christie whooped loudly and flung herself at Erin. “You’re the bestest mommy ever.”
Erin placed her hand on her daughter’s head. “I’ll remind you of that when you’re fighting your bedtime.”
Christie giggled, then spun around and grinned at Parker. “Can I have that room upstairs? The one with all the windows so I can see the whole sky? And the rocking horse and the playhouse?”
“Of course.” Parker also rose to his feet. He towered over Erin by a good seven or eight inches and she was five feet seven inches. “Kiki will make up the room across the hall for you, Erin. That way you can be close by. I’m down on the second floor.”
His tone told her he was reassuring her that she would be safe from him. She’d already figured that out.
“I’ve paid for the motel room for today,” she said. “I think Christie and I should stay there tonight. My friend Joyce will be leaving in the morning, then Christie and I will check out and come here. Say ten or eleven?”
“That sounds perfect,” Kiki said, before Parker could comment. She moved forward and took Christie by the hand. “You’re going to have to tell me everything you like to eat. I can cook anything. Would you like a cake for dessert after lunch tomorrow?”
Christie’s answer was lost as Kiki led the girl out of the room. Erin watched them go, then turned her attention to Parker. Some of the tension seemed to have left his body, but his expression was still unreadable.
“You can change your mind,” she said quietly. “It’s not too late. Christie would understand.”
His dark gaze met hers. “That’s not an option. I want to get to know my daughter. After all, she’ll be spending time here.” His mouth eased into a smile. “I’ll admit to being a little overwhelmed.”
“Only a little?” she teased.
“Okay. A lot overwhelmed. But this is important to me. Now that I’ve found her, I want to be a part of her life.”
“I’m glad,” Erin said and was pleased that she really meant it. “Christie is a great kid. She deserves a father who cares about her.”
Something very much like pain flashed through Parker’s eyes. Before Erin could figure out what it was, he’d placed his hand on the small of her back and was urging her toward the door. Her out-of-control hormones took over and all she could do was endure the heat the contact produced and concentrate on not making a fool out of herself.
“I think you’re insane,” Joyce said the next morning as she pulled the shoulder strap of her purse up her arm and settled it in place. “Coming up here to meet the guy is one thing, but living with him is another. What if he’s an ax murderer?”
“I’ve met the man. He seems very nice. He has a live-in housekeeper. I’ve read magazine articles about him and even seen his credit report. None of them mentioned anything about being an ax murderer.”
Joyce brushed her long blond hair out of her face. “You think serial killers can’t get a credit card?”
“I think serial killers aren’t millionaires who set up foundations to help poor children get a good education.”
“He did that?”
Erin nodded, then rose to her feet. The bathtub was almost half full of water. She checked the temperature, then turned off the faucet. Christie was already pulling off her nightgown and stepping into the water.
“I have to be pretty when I see my daddy again,” she said and she sat in the tub.
It was the first time the girl had ever requested a bath, so Erin wasn’t about to discourage her. “Do you want your toys?” she asked.
Christie rolled her eyes. “Of course.”
Erin grinned, then handed her the net bag containing all her bathtub entertainment. She left the bathroom door open and stepped into the bedroom. The sound of splashing followed her.
Joyce glanced at her watch. “I should be going.”
“I wish you hadn’t rented a car. I would have been happy to drive you to San Francisco.”
“No, it’s too far. Christie was cooped up in the car enough on the way up here. I’ll be fine.” Joyce smiled. “Besides, I rented a convertible. A far cry from my sensible import back home, but it is just for the day.”
“You’ll be okay?”
Joyce touched her oversize handbag. “I’ve got maps and the number of Dan’s hotel. I’ll be fine.”
Erin looked at her friend. Joyce was a stereotypical California girl with blond hair and blue eyes, and a petite figure that made her the envy of most of her friends. If she hadn’t been a genuinely nice person, someone would have done her in years ago. She taught at the same school with Erin. When Erin had first mentioned driving up to meet Christie’s father, Joyce had offered to tag along to spell the driving and to baby-sit if needed. Then she would hop down to San Francisco and spend a week with her fiancé who was there on business.
“You’re sure ab
out this guy?” Joyce asked, obviously reluctant to leave.
Erin crossed the room and gave her friend a hug. “I would never put Christie in danger. Parker Hamiliton is a very nice man. A little reclusive, but that’s not a horrible fault. He seems genuinely excited to meet his daughter. Christie needs this.”
Joyce hugged her back, then stared at her. “You always worry about what Christie needs, but who worries about what you need?”
“Me? I’m fine.”
“You’re twenty-seven years old, and you’re living like a nun.”
“I happen to like living like a nun.”
Joyce laughed. “Don’t lie to me. You hate it. You have to. It’s not easy being responsible for everything yourself. I just wish-”
Erin returned to the double bed by the door and sank onto the mattress. “You wish what?”
“I wish it had turned out differently.”
Erin shook her head. Off-key singing floated out of the bathroom. Christie was mangling a song she learned at her preschool.
“I don’t want to change anything,” Erin said. “I know you have trouble believing me, but it’s true. Christie is the best part of my life.”
“She’s a wonderful little girl, but you need more.”
“Agreed. When there’s time.”
“You have to make time.” Joyce glanced at her watch again. “Speaking of which, I’ve got to get going. You have the name of the hotel?”
“Yes. And if there’s any problem, I’ll be on the phone instantly.” She made an X over her heart. “I swear.”
“Have fun,” Joyce admonished.
“That, too.”
Her friend waved, then stepped out of the motel room and shut the door behind her.
“Are you doing okay?” Erin called.
“Yes, Mommy,” Christie answered.
Erin stood up and crossed to the open suitcase on the dresser. Most of her daughter’s things had already been packed. Her suitcase was on the bed. She walked over to it and dug under a couple of sweaters for her sister’s diary, then sat back on the mattress.
Full-Time Father Page 5
