Shadow of Regret (Shadow #3)

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Shadow of Regret (Shadow #3) Page 10

by Barbara Goss


  “Well, you have to, because now you’re family. Caleb and I inherited a good sum of money when our great aunt died. Her husband struck gold. I thank God every day for that windfall. It kick-started my stables, and it’s now a moneymaker as well. It gives us enough money to help others. What good is money if you can’t spend it? Especially on family.”

  Quinn was speechless. “I don’t know what to say, Jonas. Is ‘thank you’ enough?”

  “More than enough. You’re my best friend in the world, Quinn, and Rose is Ivy’s sister. We want you both to be happy and have a good life,” Jonas said. “So you’d better get that shopping done!”

  “I’ll go right now,” Quinn said. “I’m so glad you reminded me. If I'd forgotten…well, I don’t even want to think about how low I’d have felt. And no, I don’t need any money. I’ll use the money I was going to give you Friday and buy her the biggest diamond I can find, as well as the best birthday gift, ever, when we get home.”

  "Are you telling me you're finally going to?” Jonas asked, slapping him on the back.

  “We are. I’ve spoken with Reverend Martin and Phoebe, and I feel ready. I would have last night, but things didn’t work out. Tonight will be even better, though,” Quinn said. “I’ll be back in about thirty minutes.”

  Quinn didn’t let on when he came home from the livery that he knew it was her birthday. He casually mentioned, before changing his clothes, that they’d be going to Jonas’s for dinner. Rose looked surprised.

  “Why are we going to Jonas’s? He’s never invited us for dinner before.”

  Ha, Quinn thought. She's suspicious. He’d fix that.

  “Well, he stopped by the livery, and asked if I had the first payment on the loan he gave me. I told him I’d drop it off tonight. So he said we might as well come for supper.”

  “Oh,” Rose said. “I’m glad, because I’m anxious to hold Joanna Rose again, and play with Zoe. I love those nieces of mine.”

  On the ride to George Armstrong’s, Rose didn't suspect a thing, because George’s house was a mile closer to town than Jonas’s. When he pulled down George’s lane, Rose became inquisitive again.

  “Why are we stopping here?”

  “I wanted to stop and thank Phoebe for something she told me the other day, something that changed my life.”

  “What?” Rose said. “When were you going to tell me?”

  “Tonight, when we got home.”

  “Oh, Quinn!” she cried. “Can’t you tell me now?”

  “No. It’s a rather long story and we don’t have time now, but I promise to tell you tonight. In fact, I have several important things to tell you later tonight.” He gave her a sly smile.

  “Quinn Iverson, you are so mean. You know I’ll be anticipating it all evening now.”

  He squeezed her hand. “We’ve been anticipating a lot lately, haven’t we?”

  Rose simply gave him a thoughtful look.

  Chapter 12

  As they drove down the lane, Rose couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that Quinn had forgotten her birthday, as had Ivy and her mother. And now with Quinn telling her he had some important things to tell her tonight, she felt troubled. Was he going to tell her he wanted to annul their marriage? She knew he wasn’t attracted to her, no matter what he said last night, and that he just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Tonight, she knew he’d tell her that the marriage was never real, it was a trick she'd used, and he could no longer go through with it. He never did want to get married again.

  Quinn led Rose to the door. Before they could knock, the door flew open, and Phoebe greeted them warmly.

  “Quinn, Rose! What a pleasant surprise. What brings you out tonight?” she asked.

  Rose looked up at Quinn.

  Quinn said, “I wanted to thank you personally for what you confided in me the other day. It meant so much to me.”

  “Well, if you are really grateful you need to come in for a visit. We don’t get the privilege of a visit from you two often enough. You must come in for coffee or tea.” Phoebe held the door wider. “Come right in. George will be so happy to see you.”

  Quinn and Rose walked into the kitchen and Phoebe said, “George is in the sitting room, let's go in there.”

  When they walked in, everyone jumped up and yelled, “Happy Eighteenth Birthday, Rose!”

  Rose was speechless. She held her hand over her chest, and said, “Oh my! Thank you.” Then she looked up at Quinn. “You didn’t forget.” She gazed around at her guests—Jonas, Ivy, Zoe, Caleb, Julia, and her mother. “None of you forgot.” She laughed. “I thought you had all forgotten about me.”

  Jonas and Ivy gave her a saddle with studded jewels embedded around the seat. Ivy assured her that the jewels were fake. “I’d be afraid someone would steal your saddle while you shopped at the general store if they were real,” she said with a grin.

  “It's beautiful. Thank you, both of you.”

  Caleb and Julia handed her a small package wrapped in brown paper with a string around it. She opened it to find a chain link bracelet that Rose thought oddly plain, but pretty. She looked at Julia, and must have shown her confusion, for Julia laughed and said, “It’s a mother’s charm bracelet. You have to put a charm on the bracelet for each child you have.” Rose saw everyone’s eyes move to Quinn with a look of apprehension. Rose was afraid to look at Quinn. Evidently, Julia had forgotten that Quinn’s first wife had died in childbirth.

  Rose figured out that Quinn knew why they were all looking at him like that, because he smiled back at them and said, “We’ll work on that, Julia. Thank you!”

  Rose swung around to look at Quinn, and she gave him a smile that she hoped said, ‘Soon, I hope.’

  Lavinia, with George’s help, brought out a large box and placed it before Quinn and Rose, sitting side by side on the sofa. “This is a belated wedding gift as well as a birthday gift.”

  Rose tore it open and squealed with delight when she saw what was inside. “A sewing machine!”

  Quinn whistled. “Thank you, Mrs. Jeffries.”

  “You may call me Mother,” she said. “You’ve made my daughter happy, and that alone is enough to melt a mother’s heart. I’ve haven’t seen her this happy since…before her father passed.”

  “Thank you, Mother,” Quinn said.

  “Look, Quinn,” Rose cried, pointing to the name embossed on the machine. “Singer Sewing Machine Company, London, England.” Rose felt like crying. That must have cost her mother quite a bit of money, and she was now a widow without an income.

  “I know what you’re thinking, Rose, and I’m fine. You’re father left me in good shape, and Caleb, Julia, Jonas, Ivy, and Violet all chipped in.”

  “Where is Violet?” Rose asked.

  “She and Miles are out to dinner. She may stop in later. They have a lot to discuss. She got the teaching job in Salina and they have no idea how to proceed.”

  “Mother, what will they do?” Rose asked.

  “It’s only ten or twelve miles away, but it's a long way to go back and forth, especially in the winter. They will have to decide, which is why they aren’t here,” Lavinia said. “Oh, by the way, the bottom of that sewing machine is in the barn. It was too large to wrap.”

  George and Phoebe gave her a pair of pearl earrings, and Rose was delighted.

  The last gift was from Zoe. She marched up and put a large envelope on Rose’s lap. Rose grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down onto her lap. Although Zoe was six, she was small for her age. “You won’t get away until I have a kiss and a hug, Miss Zoe.”

  Zoe giggled and gave her a big kiss and a hug.

  “What could this be?” Rose asked her, as she tore open the envelope. She pulled out a large paper heart, colored red. Inside, it said, in crooked but readable printing, ‘Happy Birthday, Auntie Rose. I love you.’

  Rose hugged Zoe again. “And you know what, Zoe? I love you even more.”

  “No,” Zoe said, “because I love you as much as al
l the stars in the sky.”

  “Well, that may be, but I love you as much as there are single pieces of straw in the stable.”

  Zoe’s eyes grew bigger. “There are more stars than straw, Auntie Rose.”

  “Then you beat me again. I’ll have to think of something bigger for next time,” she said.

  “Mama and Papa play this with me every night at bedtime, and I always win,” she said proudly.

  Everyone laughed.

  “Thank you, everyone, for making this the best birthday ever,” Rose said.

  Wait,” Quinn said. “You still have one more gift to open.”

  Rose looked around.

  Quinn pulled a small box from his pocket and handed it to her. “Happy Birthday, sweetheart.”

  Rose gasped as she opened the box and saw the diamond ring. “For the second time today, I’m speechless,” she said. Tears of happiness flowed down her cheeks.

  Quinn picked up the ring and put it on her finger. “I love you, Rose.” He kissed her lightly on the lips, and then tenderly wiped away her tears.

  Jonas said loudly, “Save that for later, will you?”

  Again, everyone laughed. Phoebe brought out refreshments, but Rose had eyes only for her ring. She fingered the gold band, which wasn’t a solid gold band, but gold filigree, with delicate flowers and swirls on it. Each flower had a ruby or diamond in the center. It was the daintiest and most beautiful ring she’d ever seen.

  Everyone walked over to take a look at the ring, and remark on Quinn’s exquisite taste in jewelry.

  Rose looked up at Quinn and mouthed, “Thank you.” He winked. She felt confident now that whatever he'd meant to tell her tonight did not concern an annulment. She was so happy, she couldn’t help but slip her arm through his and put her head on his shoulder while he tried to drink his coffee.

  Ivy noticed and nudged Jonas. Jonas smiled and elbowed Julia, who smiled and prodded Caleb, who winked at Quinn. Rose thought that the day had turned out to be one of the best in her life.

  As they were preparing to leave, Lavinia came up to them and gave Quinn a hug. “I’m so sorry that I handled things so badly,” she said. “I’m really glad Rose has you to take care of her.”

  “You had a lot to cope with at the time. I understand and accept your apology, Mother."

  Lavinia hugged him again. “Now,” she said stepping back, “if I could see Violet settled, I could relax and take that trip to Kentucky I’ve always wanted.”

  “To see Aunt Grace?” Ivy said. Lavinia nodded. “I haven’t seen my sister in ten years.”

  “We’ll pray about it, Mother,” Ivy said.

  For Quinn, it was a long ride home. He couldn’t wait to tell Rose everything and finally consummate their marriage.

  When they finally reached home, they sat down, together, on the sofa. Rose curled her legs under her and said, “Now, tell me what Phoebe told you.”

  “For a price,” Quinn teased.

  “What?”

  “Kiss me and I’ll tell you,” he whispered.

  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. When she tried to pull away, he held his lips against hers, and turned it into a kiss of frenzied passion. When he finally released her, she said, “Whoa! I thought that wasn’t allowed.”

  Quinn smiled mischievously. “Mrs. Armstrong visited me at the livery and told me the story that I’ll now relate to you. Phoebe and Martha were close, so naturally Martha confided things in Phoebe. The first time I made love to Martha I knew I wasn’t the first, but I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Phoebe told me that Martha was already with child when she came to Abilene. Rose—the babe wasn’t mine!”

  Rose gasped. “No!”

  “Yes. The father was the other man she'd written to, a drunken man in Kansas City. He’d raped her, and as soon as she discovered her condition, she quickly came here, and tried to find someone quick to link up with; I was that link,” he said. “I didn’t kill her, Rose.”

  Rose smiled. “Oh Quinn, I feel sad for Martha, but happy for you. Now all you have to deal with is your grudge against God.”

  “But that’s just it, Rose,” he said. “He knew! God knew the whole time. Reverend Martin said—”

  “You talked to Martin?”

  He nodded. “I went over there one day. I knew I had to face these things or our marriage would never survive.”

  “Go on, what did he say?”

  “Plenty. Mostly that if God granted every prayer for someone to live—no one would die,” he said. “Men have to die because Adam and Eve sinned. When it’s put that way, it makes a whole lot of sense. God has a plan for us all, and we can’t change His plan unless He feels He can work it around His plan. That’s why when we pray for someone to not die, we should add, if it be thy will.”

  “Makes sense. I never would have thought of that,” Rose said.

  “When it’s our time to go—and we all have to—it’s God decision, not ours. You or I could die tomorrow, which is why we should live for today and say and do the things we need to today, and not wait for tomorrow.”

  Rose smiled. “And that means?”

  “It means that…tonight will become our wedding night, Rose.”

  Rose jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Really?”

  He nodded.

  “I’d best go put on my seductive flannel nightie, then.” She scampered into the bedroom.

  Quinn entered the bedroom holding the small lantern. It emitted very little light, just enough to give the room a romantic ambiance. He had to make this night perfect. He knew Rose was pure, and this would be a new experience for them both.

  She was already in bed, looking both anxious and nervous. Be patient and gentle, he reminded himself.

  He removed his shirt and trousers but left his smalls on. He didn’t want to shock Rose too badly before he even got started.

  He pulled her into his arms. “First I need to tell you how much you mean to me, Rose. I’ve always had a soft spot for you, but when you came to my house to comfort me, a mild attraction had formed. I pushed it aside, because of my grief, and knowing that you were far too young for me. I’ve known you since you were fifteen, and I've just always thought of you as Little Rose. At the cemetery that day, I realized that Little Rose had grown up to be a beautiful, vibrant, young woman. I fell in love, and it made me feel a bit ashamed, not only because I was carrying all that baggage around, but also because you were only seventeen

  “I came back to my apartment and thought I could continue with my womanizing after that, but I couldn’t, and believe me, I tried. I'd set my mind on trying even harder when I accepted Daisy’s offer to come over that night. I can’t honestly say if I would have been able to make love to her or not—actually, ‘make love’ is not the terminology I’d use to describe our intimacy. It was more like pure, animalistic lust. There was never any love,” he kissed her nose, “until you.”

  Rose continued to listen, her eyes, bright with an emotion he thought might be love tinged with a bit of nervousness.

  “We will make love, and we will make babies. I’m leaving everything in God’s hands,” he said.

  Rose smiled and snuggled closer to him.

  Rose knew that her body trembled when Quinn finally stopped talking and began kissing her as if he’d never kissed her before. He touched her in places she’d never been touched before. Her heart was beating so fast and hard she thought he could surely hear it. Nevertheless, she trusted him, and followed where he led. The love she had for him consumed her whole being.

  Afterward, Quinn lay beside her, but with his head turned away from her, which bothered her. Had she done it wrong? Was it not good? Why did he turn away? “Quinn, please look at me,” she pleaded.

  “I…I can’t,” he replied softly.

  “I need you to look at me after what just transpired. I need—”

  He turned quickly to look at her, and she saw tears streaming down his cheeks. “I didn’t want you to see
this, but I can’t seem to stop them.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “I’ve never experienced anything so beautiful in my whole life, and it’s left me shattered. Men aren’t supposed to cry, but the emotion of what just happened—it’s left me weak and helpless.” He laughed a bit through his tears.

  “I love you, Quinn,” she said. “I want you to be able to share everything with me.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “All right. This is the first time in my life that I’ve been intimate with someone I was in love with, and the experience is completely different. I can’t describe it.” He stroked her cheek. “What we have, what we shared, can only be described as a gift from God. He’s blessing our marriage, Rose. He’s telling me that He and I are good now.” Quinn hugged her. “I love you beyond reason, Rose. You have changed my life.”

  “Now look what you’ve done.” She sniffled. “Now I’m crying.” She hugged him to her and their tears mingled together.

  “Rose, I know that tonight might not have been as perfect for you, but it’s because it was your first experience. It'll get better, and that's a promise,” he said.

  She hugged him. “Anytime I’m in your arms is a good time.”

  “Now it’s my turn,” she said. “I would have waited for as long as it took for you to make me completely yours. My love for you has nothing to do with that part. I love being with you. I love sharing my life with you. I would have waited, but I do admit that I doubted my seductive abilities after Dora’s visit.”

  Rose saw Quinn study her face in the dim light. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Don’t ever doubt that you are gorgeous—even in your flannel nightgown.” He smiled.

  Chapter 13

  In the morning it took Quinn longer than usual to depart for the livery, since their goodbye kisses were so heated, she thought he wouldn’t go to work at all. After he’d finally kissed her for the tenth time, and slipped out the door, she sat back and sighed.

 

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