by L. A. Witt
Elliott and I hadn’t been dating long, but by this point, both Ollie and Jesse had started showing subtle hints of who they really were. So maybe I was—
A knock at my door startled me. “Yeah, it’s open.”
Vanessa poked her head in. “Hey, I’m heading to lunch. Do you want me to pick anything up for you?”
“No, I’m…” My stomach grumbled. Maybe I was hungry. “Actually, I think I could stand to get out for a few minutes myself.” I rose, picking up my keys and phone off the desk. “What time’s the next patient?”
“One.” She stood aside as I came out of the office. “You sure you don’t want me to bring something back?”
“Nah. Like I said—I need to get out. Otherwise I’m just going to hole up in there all day.” And keep watching that fucking video.
She didn’t press, thank God. I thought about suggesting we carpool. The company would have been a nice distraction. Only problem was I was so distracted, I’d probably forget she was there, and I didn’t want to be a dick to her.
So we got into our respective cars, and I headed for a little deli not far away that made amazing sandwiches and didn’t take too long. As soon as I walked into the place and caught a whiff of garlic and baking bread, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed how hungry I was. Had I even eaten breakfast? I knew I’d had coffee, but now that I thought about it, I was pretty sure I’d skipped eating. Yay for being distracted.
I ordered a sandwich and an iced tea, and hung back near the door while I waited for them to call my number.
“Hey, stranger.” Jesse’s voice made my teeth grind.
For fuck’s sake.
I turned to see him grinning at me, and for a moment, I could totally sympathize if Elliott really had lost his temper and throttled Jesse. I wasn’t violent by nature and would never actually lay a hand on someone, but I had to admit the fantasy of kicking Jesse’s ass held a certain appeal right then.
Through my teeth, I said, “So, what? You’re just going to keep popping up wherever I am? Is this going to keep being a thing?”
The exasperated sigh and patronizing head-tilt made that fantasy even more tempting. “Hey, I’m just checking in on you. I mean, you heard about your boyfriend roughing me up the other night. I want to make sure he hasn’t done anything to you.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Anything worse than what you’ve done to me in the past?”
“Oh come on. I never did that to you.” Jesse rubbed his jaw, wincing as his finger brushed the greenish-purple bruise. “Man throws a hell of a punch. He’s ex-military, isn’t he?”
I didn’t answer. Yeah, he was, but that wasn’t any of Jesse’s business.
“All those bouncers are ex-military, you know.” He faced me, forehead creased with earnest concern. “Which means you want to be careful with him, Samir. The ones who come back and act like they don’t have any PTSD? They’re the dangerous ones. Sooner or later, it catches up and they fucking snap, you know?” He stepped closer, his tone saccharine sweet as he added, “I don’t want to see you get hurt when that happens.”
I let go of a sarcastic laugh before I could think twice. “That’s rich coming from you. I mean, at least if it’s combat-related PTSD coming back to haunt him, there’s a reason for it, you know?” I folded my arms and glared at him. “As opposed to just getting pissed off and decking me because you’re a child who can’t control his temper.”
Instantly his bullshit sweetness was gone, and it took all I had not to draw back from the rage simmering in his eyes.
He stepped closer, jabbing a finger at my chest. “Listen, when he comes at you like he came at me, don’t you come fucking crying to me about it. I warned you, Samir.”
“Your warning is duly noted,” I ground out. “Now could you maybe get the fuck out of my life?”
He glared at me, then rolled his eyes and stalked out of the deli.
I rubbed some tension out of my neck and suddenly realized everyone in the restaurant had been staring. Shifting uncomfortably, I plastered on a smile, then quickly buried my attention in my phone. People starting moving around and chatting again, thank God.
A moment later, the man behind the counter called my number. I collected my order, but I didn’t stay to eat it. My appetite was gone, and anything I tried to eat was definitely coming back up. Instead, I took it to go, drove back to the clinic, and ducked into my office to pull myself together before I had to see patients. I had a busy afternoon and couldn’t afford to be more distracted than I already was.
At my desk, I closed my eyes and kneaded my temples. In another—and very recent—lifetime, Jesse would’ve accomplished exactly what he’d come to do. He’d have had me second-guessing Elliott even more than I already had been.
But he couldn’t manipulate me like that anymore. Oh, he’d almost succeeded, but he’d picked the wrong man to try to portray as violent and volatile. That wasn’t who Elliott was. No matter how many times my bruised psyche had tried to buy into Jesse’s fear-mongering bullshit, I couldn’t believe Elliott was like that. Hell, given how much bigger Elliott was than Jesse, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how much damage he could have done if he’d actually lost his temper and tried to hurt Jesse. The fact that Jesse only had a few bruises and could still walk said a lot.
I lowered my hands and drummed my fingers on my desk. The conversation with Jesse had driven home what I’d been thinking anyway—that kicking Elliott out had been stupid, and we needed to talk. I was tempted to call him right now, but this wasn’t something we could talk about over the phone. I needed to see him in person and do this face to face.
I took a deep breath. Okay. I was going to do this. I’d go see Elliott, and we’d talk, and hopefully we could set things straight and unfuck all the damage my ex had tried to do. And all the damage I’d probably done.
For now, I had back-to-back-to-back patients.
Tonight, I was going to Wilde’s.
Chapter 19
Elliott
Day three, and I was still dragging ass. I wasn’t sleeping. I dreaded coming to work. I wrote out texts to Samir but deleted them without sending because I wanted to give him space. I wanted to follow his lead like Liam had suggested. The silence was killing me, though. Even if we ended up going our separate ways, I at least wanted to talk to him. Or something. But leaving everything the way we had the other night was going to drive me insane.
Exhausted and frustrated, I clocked in at Wilde’s and went out to join the other bouncers. Casey and Julien were already there, hovering near the dance floor. One of the other guys was at the door checking IDs, and I thought I caught a glimpse of one more by the bar. At least we were fully staffed; I didn’t see myself being overly useful tonight.
The crowd thickened fast. The music got louder. People started getting drunk. Everyone was more or less behaving so far, thank God, but like the other bouncers, I kept a watchful eye on the crowd. Now if I would just concentrate on doing my job and not searching for someone who wasn’t here. Half a dozen times, I thought I saw Samir. A glimpse of dark eyes. Someone moving in an all too familiar way. A smile that made me think of his. One guy caught my attention and made my heart skip because he really did look like Samir. The flashing disco lights made it hard to focus, but damn if those sharp cheekbones, dark eyes, and—
Oh my God, it really was him.
And he saw me too.
He was shouldering his way through the crowd, coming right toward me, and by the time he made it to where I was standing, my knees were shaking.
I blinked. “Uh. Hey.”
“Hey.” He slid his hands into his pockets and shyly held my gaze. “Can we talk?” There was nothing hostile in his posture or his eyes, and his voice was tentative. My heart thumped harder than the deejay’s bass.
“Yeah. Of course.” I glanced around for one of the other bouncers. “Just let me—”
“Are you fucking kidding?” Jesse’s voice instantly set my teeth on edge
, and I spun to see him coming out of the crowd. To Samir, he said, “I warn you about him, and you’re still following him around like a puppy?”
How the fuck did he get in here?
I wanted to grab Jesse and haul him in to the security office so we could call the cops on his trespassing ass, but I watched Samir.
Samir narrowed his eyes at Jesse. “Are you fucking serious? Is there anywhere you don’t stalk me?”
Jesse huffed, shifting his weight. “Come on, Samir. I’m just looking out for you.” He waved a hand at me. “This guy’s a fucking psycho.”
Samir glared at him. I watched Samir.
Casey, Julien, and Liam hovered at the edges of my peripheral vision. Without even looking at them, I could feel all three of them tense and ready to pounce. They were probably waiting for my signal just like I was waiting for Samir’s.
Samir pulled in a deep breath through his nose, and he lifted his chin and set his shoulders back. “I’m still paying off the last time you hit me hard enough to crack a tooth. You really think I’m going to trust your judgment about who’s a fucking psycho?”
“Samir.” The asshole’s voice dripped with condescension. He took a step closer. I bristled. Samir stiffened. Jesse ignored me, but he didn’t move again. “Come on. We just need to talk. I’m worried about you.”
“Sure you are. Is that why you showed up here the other night?” Samir folded his arms tightly across his chest, and his lips pulled back across his teeth as he snarled, “Why were you getting into a pissing match with him in the first place? Especially with someone conveniently standing by to film it?”
Jesse’s eyebrows flicked up, but only for a second. “I wanted you to see what you were getting yourself—”
“You lying sack of shit,” Samir hissed. “I was born at night, but it wasn’t last night. I know you came in here to provoke him, and I know you had a goddamned knife in your hand.”
Jesse’s eyes darted toward me. “I didn’t have—”
“Bullshit you didn’t. Try again.”
His ex stared like he didn’t know what to make of that. Like he had absolutely no idea how to process Samir standing up to him and shutting his ass down.
Little by little, confusion went away and fury took its place. “You know what, Samir?” Jesse narrowed his eyes. “You deserve this asshole. You’re fucking worthless. Always have been.”
I clenched my teeth, ready to flip out, but I stood down, still waiting for a sign from Samir.
Samir eyed Jesse coolly as he folded his arms across his chest. “Jesse. Darling. You’re embarrassing yourself.”
Jesse’s jaw worked and his face darkened. “Excuse me?”
The smirk playing at Samir’s lips startled me as much as it seemed to startle Jesse. Samir rolled his eyes and shook his head. “If I’m fucking worthless, then it says a lot about you that you’ve put so much effort into winning me back.” He arched an eyebrow. “I can smell the desperation from here, sweetheart.”
So many emotions flashed across Jesse’s face, I couldn’t even identify them all. He was shocked, that was for sure. Pissed off. Might’ve even been hurt. Ultimately, he settled on disgust, his lip curling as he took a step back from Samir. “I’m out of here.”
“Actually, no.” I got in between Samir and Jesse, and I glared down at Jesse as I folded my arms. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Jesse gave me a derisive down-up and sputtered, “Are you kidding me? You can’t hold me hostage!”
“I’m not holding you hostage,” I said coldly. “I’m keeping you here until the cops get here.”
Liam and the other bouncers were suddenly around us, boxing him in.
“The cops?” Jesse barked a laugh that turned several heads. “You’re fucking—”
“How the fuck did he even get in here?” Liam snapped. “Didn’t I tell you guys to check IDs at the door?”
“We are,” Casey said. “I sure as shit didn’t see him come in.”
Jesse snorted derisively. “Maybe you shouldn’t leave the back door unlocked, then.”
“Fuck.” Liam scowled. Never taking his eyes off Jesse, he said, “Julien, call the police.”
Julien looked past us, and he nodded sharply at someone else. Facing Liam again, he said, “Chris is on it.”
“Perfect.”
“This is bullshit.” Jesse started to leave, but Casey caught his arm. I put a hand on his chest. Jesse opened his mouth to say something, but Liam’s icy glare stilled him.
“Take him into the security office,” Liam growled. “Keep him there until Seattle PD shows.”
Casey and Julien didn’t argue. Jesse did, of course, but his voice was no match for the loud music, and his size was no match for two bouncers who could have each handled him on their own.
I gave them all a head start so they’d have time to shut him into the office. Then I followed, leading Samir into the hallway so I could keep an eye on him and be nearby in case someone needed help with Jesse. Julien came out of the office, and the three of us hovered in the hall while we waited for the police to come. None of us said a word.
Julien was calm and cool, completely unreadable as always. I remembered guys like him from my time in combat—during high-stress situations, their emotions vacated. He was probably still in that mode, poised to respond with training and precision if the need arose. Later, he could cope with the emotional fallout, and I felt guilty for what he’d be dealing with because of this. I’d make sure to check in with Chris later and see if Julien was okay.
Between us, Samir was visibly tense. His jaw worked, and his eyes were fixed on the closed door. It occurred to me he hadn’t even had a chance to say what he’d come to say before we’d been interrupted by Tweedle Dipshit.
Cautiously, I put a hand on his shoulder. He tensed but didn’t pull away. In fact, he started to relax just a little. Hoping I wasn’t reading him wrong, I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around him.
And he melted against me.
One arm went around my waist, but otherwise, he just leaned into me, resting his head against my shoulder. I kissed his temple. We hadn’t said a single word, hadn’t discussed anything that had happened, but that could wait.
Julien glanced back and forth between us, then cleared his throat. “I think everything’s under control back here. I’ll, uh, go wait for the cops.”
I nodded. “Thanks for helping out.”
He smiled, some of his usual warmth returning to his eyes. “Any time.” He clapped my arm, then went back out to the club.
Alone in the hallway, Samir and I were silent for a while. I could hear voices coming from the office, but the music from the club drowned out most of it.
Samir sighed as he gently freed himself from my arms. “Listen, I’m sorry about the other night.” He met my gaze, dark eyes full of worry. “I just… I freaked out. After the video, being together like that, I…”
I moistened my parched lips. “Did you really think I would hurt you?”
“No,” he whispered. “We never would have made it into the bedroom if I did.” He leaned hard against the wall and looked up at the ceiling with unfocused eyes. “It was almost like fight or flight, I guess. Like an instinctive thing even though I knew you weren’t going to hurt me. And I…” He closed his eyes, and I barely heard him as he said, “I’m sorry, Elliott.”
“I’m not angry. I don’t blame you, honestly.”
He looked at me. “Really?”
“No. I’ve got PTSD too, remember? I know what it’s like. I get it more than you probably realize. After the shit you’ve been through, and then seeing a video like that?” I shrugged. “I’d be kind of leery of me too.”
Samir’s lips pulled tight. “Still. You’ve never been anything but sweet to me.”
“And I have no intention of changing that.” I cautiously reached for his face, and when he didn’t recoil, I caressed his cheek. “I just want to be with you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
&nb
sp; He dropped his gaze for a second, and when he lifted it again, his eyes had welled up. “How long before you get tired of bending over backwards for me? I’m such a wreck, and how long before that gets old?”
“You think you’ll get tired of a combat vet who has nightmares and can’t deal with fireworks?”
“Of course not!”
I raised my eyebrows.
He studied me. “But it doesn’t rule your life 24/7, does it?”
“No, because it’s been a few years since I went to combat.” I ran my thumb along his cheekbone. “I promise, it ruled everything for a while. My PTSD got better with time and therapy, and so will yours.”
Closing his eyes, he pressed his cheek against my hand. A tear slid free, and I brushed it away. He blinked a few times, met my gaze, and finally cracked a weak but sincere smile. “You really are amazing, you know that?”
I smiled back. “So are you.”
His expression brightened a little more, and then he wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me. Good God, what a relief. His soft lips and his stubbled jaw almost made me break down; I’d convinced myself there was no coming back to this, but now that we had, it was effortless. As if there’d been no other way this could play out.
Of course you guys are okay, the universe seemed to be saying. Don’t be stupid.
“They’re back here in the office,” Julien’s voice cut through the music. I looked up to see him coming down the hall, flanked by two uniformed officers. He gave me a slight nod, and I returned it. Then they all disappeared into the office.
Still in my arms, Samir was suddenly tense all over again. I stroked his hair and held him a little closer.
