I struggled to discern whether she was bluffing. Could these people be so nonchalant about destroying someone? They were desperate, but I hadn’t gotten the impression they were genuinely dangerous. Had I read them wrong? If Nova was worried, maybe I should be too. She was telempathic and would sense their intentions.
Fear crept up my throat and I forced it back down.
“Give her an antidote.” Nova banged on something for emphasis, practically baring her teeth. “Now.”
“We’ll be at Ouyang in fifteen hours,” Tev said, then nodded briefly at Marre to give a silent order. “At the refueling station. Orbital coordinates are being transmitted to you now. If you show up, your sister lives. If not, she’ll be trapped inside her dying body, and we’ll find you anyway and get what we need. Your choice.”
“Please, don’t—”
Tev flicked a switch on the comm panel and cut off the transmission. “Don’t fuck with me.”
Chapter Four
“We’ll be at the outpost in a little over ten hours,” Tev said as Marre disabled the ship’s external comm link. “That gives us plenty of time to grab the helium-3 before they meet us.”
The crew ignored me, casually discussing ship functions as if they hadn’t just threatened my life. How could they be so callous while I could do nothing but stand there with my hand on my neck, visualizing the poison insinuating itself into my body? My fingers shook.
Tremors. It was already starting. Or was I just that afraid?
No one seemed concerned about me being fifteen hours out from death—not even Vasquez, who you’d think would be bound by the healers oath to at least pretend to care. Why had she been worried about Tev tweaking my joints if she was content to let me die? How dare they exploit my disease? They had no idea how deep that cut.
Rage surged up inside me.
I lost it.
Gritting my teeth and rushing Vasquez, I slammed her into the wall by the neck. Ovie leapt on me, peeling me away, but I thrashed at the doctor, determined to flay at least one of them for what they’d done. I probably should have targeted Tev or Ovie, but it was the doctor who knew enough about my illness to exploit it. It was the doctor who had convinced me to stow away. I’d tear her apart.
Maybe it was stupid, but I felt betrayed by these people I barely knew. Vasquez’s face flashed between her own and Dr. Shrike’s and Tev’s in my mind while I thrashed and punched until I realized it wasn’t working, that my upper body was pinioned against Ovie, and I kicked at Vasquez instead, knocking Ovie off-balance momentarily. My boot barely nicked her hand, doing little more than making her bracelet jingle. She stepped backward out of my reach and looked at me like I was a wild animal.
“I’ll kill you! I’ll take you out with me!” I shouted, trying to pry myself free. I heard the hysteria in my voice, but didn’t care. I’d spent a lifetime fighting this illness and now she was going to kill me with it just like that. My rational mind tucked itself away and watched the whole thing, more than willing to let my anger take the helm. Every movement seemed to come from someone else. It was easier to detach from my body than feel it shut down on me. Parts of me could almost feel calm that way, watching my limbs bear the burden of my emotions.
“We’re not doing anything to you,” Ovie growled in my ear, thick arms secured around mine. “You’re fine. It was saline. We’re not murderers.”
“What?” Surprise diluted my anger. I stopped kicking but still struggled to wrench myself free. Slowly, I stepped back into myself and stopped fighting, panting from the exertion. My muscles ached from the tension of being restrained.
When I remained calm for a few long beats, Ovie let me go, but Vasquez immediately grabbed my arm. I was getting damn tired of everyone manhandling me.
I tried swinging at her again with my free arm, but she caught that wrist too. Strong for a medical officer.
“Hey,” she said. “You need to work on your hook if you’re going to try to hit people. And he’s right. That was saline. I mean, come on. ‘Mel’s Revenge?’ Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? Relax. You’re fine. We’re not going to poison you, and we’re not going to use the biter on you. It was an act. I wouldn’t let anyone on this crew hurt someone for personal gain.”
She relaxed her grip and I jerked away.
I clamped down on all the terror and rage, releasing only a fraction of what I felt through my words. “You’re still monsters. You exploited my disease to get my sister to cooperate. You have no idea what it’s like—”
“Don’t tell us what we know,” Tev said from right behind me, startling me. I’d forgotten about her, she’d been so quiet during my outburst. When I turned around to lash out at her, I was met by sadness flickering across her face, the expression delicate as a trembling leaf. It caught me off-guard. I forgot what I was going to say.
When she spoke, her voice came softly.
“You do what you have to do when your ass is on the line, so I’m not sorry, love.” Something in her expression told me otherwise. “Be grateful you stowed away on this ship and not another one, or you’d have been long-frozen out there.” She nodded at the black. “You’re not dying. You’re fine.”
“I’m supposed to thank you for not killing me?”
“Did I say that?” She raised her eyebrows, but the hard edge to her voice from earlier had yet to return.
I shoved my hand into my pocket and fingered the Dexitek bottle. “If you’re not planning on hurting me, why was Nova worried? What was she sensing in your intentions that made her so concerned? How do I know you’re not lying now?”
“We have ways around a guide’s empathy.”
Anger still bubbled in my chest, tugging at me in an old, familiar way. Chafing at the knowledge that my body could break down on me if I didn’t keep it in check. It felt like I’d let out five years worth of steam when I attacked Vasquez; I wanted to collapse and sleep for a year. So much time spent holding all that emotion in. It was a constant battle not to let the disease curdle my personality. People like being around those who make them feel good, not someone who brings them down; I was well-schooled in the art of hiding my resentment.
But I’d never been so close to my fate as I had on that bridge, breaking under the weight of mere saline.
“I think I’ve earned the right to know why you want my sister.”
“Fair enough.” Tev glanced at Vasquez and Ovie. “Leave us. I’ll fill her in.”
Ovie wandered out, scratching the back of his head in a vaguely canine fashion. Vasquez gave Tev a look I couldn’t decipher, but Tev said nothing. The doctor shrugged and left us alone on the bridge with Marre, whose left hand now lacked skin on half its fingers.
I did my best not to stare. I just focused on calming down.
“I heard you met our pilot last night,” Tev said, plopping into the copilot’s seat and kicking her legs up onto the console, crossing her boots at the ankle.
Skin re-grew across Marre’s fingers in a cross-hatched pattern, filling in over the tendons beneath. She said nothing in response to Tev talking about her as if she weren’t there.
“With all due respect,” I said, trying to appeal to her ego, “what does that have to do with Nova?”
“The CEO of Transliminal Solutions wants to buy out all your sister’s contracts.”
“Birke?” I laughed. Birke was the single-named woman who headed the powerhouse from another reality, the woman whose influence was slowly replacing all our own industries. “That’s not happening. Nova won’t do business with othersiders.”
“I know. Your sister’s reputation precedes her.”
“She has a talent for that. So let me guess—Transliminal wants Nova, and you want something from Transliminal.”
Tev pulled her legs off the console and sat forward in the chair, jerking her head to get her bangs out of her eyes. “Marre.”
The pilot continued monitoring the navigational controls. “Yes, Captain.”
“How long
have you been on my crew?”
“Seven years, Captain.”
“But you’re so young!” I blurted out, and immediately regretted it when Marre’s fingers tensed.
“I’m older than you are, young lady,” Marre said, eyes fixed on the view screen.
“It was her ship,” Tev said, “and she sold it to me with the stipulation that she be given the chance to stay on and pilot. She’s been with me longer than anyone else. My most loyal crew member. And surely you’ve noticed her condition. She’s dying.”
Although her body was now mostly covered by her hooded jacket, images of Marre’s disappearing skin flashed through my mind. The velvet-red muscle beneath. The buzzing, the phantom smell of honey. The way Marre’s eyes seemed to contain all the forbidden, dangerous things children whispered about at night, long after their parents had gone to bed. Worst of all, the distinct feeling that she could sense my fear and that it pricked her, cut her, in subtle but damaging ways.
“What happened to you?” I said.
Marre finally looked at Tev, and nodded at the captain before turning back to her work. Marre’s hands paled, then seemed to disappear into the console. I couldn’t even imagine how it must feel to lose pieces of yourself like that, over and over again.
“She was a spirit guide,” Tev said. “She’d finished her undergraduate work at the guild and was preparing to enter the graduate program for spirit possession when something happened. An accident. It left her struggling to hang onto herself. That’s all I’m telling you, surgeon, and don’t you dare push her on the matter.”
Marre tugged her hood around her face, burying herself deeper into the fabric, bracelet glinting in the light from the console. I thought about the stories Nova brought home from guild training and couldn’t figure out what might have done that to her. What kind of accident could have possibly loosened her hold on her own flesh?
“We want to help her, and the only people who can do that—”
“Transliminal Solutions.”
Tev shrugged. “I don’t like it, but we’ve run out of options—”
“What about the guild?”
“How about you interrupt me again?”
“Sorry.”
Tev cracked her neck, then continued talking. “I’ve been trying to help her for years. Slip—Doctor Vasquez—can’t figure anything out. Marre tried getting help from the Spiritual Advisory Guild when it first happened, but they couldn’t do anything for her. We’ve tried contacting them again since she became my pilot, but they still can’t help her. They’re saying initiates sign waivers that absolve them of responsibility in situations like this.” Tev made a skeptical face, gritting her teeth. “Some policy. Where I come from, we take care of our own. Anyway, Transliminal is the only option we have left. We don’t have the kind of money they’re asking for in exchange for specialized medical care, so we needed to find out what else we could barter.”
The word “barter” ignited my anger again. “My sister isn’t a piece of merchandise.”
“Sorry,” Tev said, showing her palms in a placating gesture. “Bad choice of words. But you understand what I’m saying, surely?”
I flinched under the sharp, repetitive slicing of a growing headache. “Why does Birke, of all people, want Nova?”
Tev shrugged. “Wants what she can’t have? How should I know? I’m sure we’ll find out when we get there. We just know our reconnaissance contacts have been intercepting her transmissions to the Spiritual Advisory Guild for months. There are multiple offers from Birke to Nova’s agent in the pipeline. To the point that she’s offering to buy out her contracts for life and employ her as her personal spiritual advisor.”
Something wasn’t right here. I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something more to Birke’s need for my sister than Nova’s skill or her rejection of Transliminal Solutions. Besides, Nova was good at what she did, but there were other, more experienced, more accomplished people in her field. People with more specialized skills that would be better suited to serving a CEO from another universe. And why hadn’t Nova crowed to me about Birke’s persistent attempts to hire her? She may have hated Transliminal Solutions, but she loved any opportunity to revel in her glowing reputation. Preferably within earshot.
I leaned against the console. “So you came to my shop to find her because you’re delivering her to Birke in exchange for Marre’s medical care?”
“Something like that. We were hoping Nova would be willing to help us convince Birke to help Marre. Use her spirit guide enchantments.” Tev wiggled her fingers in imitation of these enchantments. “Or at least function as leverage.”
Laughter bubbled up in my chest at the thought of Nova helping anyone do anything that wasn’t her own idea, but I held it back. “How exactly did you plan to convince her to cooperate?”
“We have you. You’re dying, remember?”
I had to respect someone so determined, even if she was using me. I guess I sort of invited it by stowing away on someone’s private vessel.
“And when she realizes I’m not in danger?” I said. “Then what? You don’t want her as an enemy. With all those high-profile clients, she can blacklist you from a dozen industries with just a few comm beeps.”
Tev stood, accompanied by a few clicks. Her boots fell heavily as she stepped closer to me, her face pure control. Blood thundered inside my head as my nerves grew anxious, and I heard the ship humming somewhere deep inside her engine, growing louder with each step Tev took. I felt both Tev and the ship prickling under my skin. When Tev looked me up and down, her posture all authority, some long-dormant part of me fluttered to life.
“We have the same interests,” she said. “You and me. This crew. You’d be well-advised to make sure Nova does cooperate.”
A shiver worked its way from my head to my hands, but I concealed it from her. “More threats?”
“No, I don’t need to threaten you. Those meds you keep cradling in your pocket are a far cry from what Transliminal could do for you if we exploit Birke’s desire to contract your sister. We think Marre’s condition would be easy for them to treat. They have more resources than they know what to do with. Convince your sister to help us, and we’ll make sure you’re taken care of too. Why not dangle that in front of her as motivation?”
I was about to answer, but Marre made a small, startling sound somewhere between a grunt and a groan. She doubled over on herself, folding into a small ball on the chair, gripping at her stomach and crying out. Translucence rippled over her entire body in waves, as if she were made of liquid instead of flesh. Every centimeter of her struggled to maintain visible cohesion. The pain of it distorted her features into a grimace. My heart broke. I knew that kind of suffering, even if for different reasons. Watching someone else endure it—Lai, Marre, anyone—made me feel utterly helpless.
Crouching down in front of her, Tev gently turned the pilot’s seat toward herself and placed her hands on Marre’s shoulders. “Breathe,” she said, her low voice soft as clouds. “Slowly.”
Marre tried complying, but I recognized the pain-induced fear in her dark eyes. Buzzing sounds filled the room, as if a swarm of insects had invaded the bridge. Marre tore off her jacket and threw it to the floor. Tev recaptured her before her panic could wind up out of control, placing soft hands on Marre’s bare arms. As soon as they touched, the buzzing receded to a distant murmur.
“In, and out.” Tev demonstrated, inhaling slowly, exhaling slowly. Every word and breath was patient, loving. Gentle. “In . . . out.”
Mimicking Tev’s breathing, Marre slowly calmed down, tears spilling from her cheeks when she let out a trembling exhalation, then disappearing halfway down her face. Her body gradually regained its normal level of cohesiveness. Small patches of invisibility afflicted her arms and legs, occasionally shifting to other parts of her body—face, fingers, neck—but it no longer threatened to consume her completely. The more Marre breathed and focused, the more cohesion she regained.
“Breathe,” Tev said again, stroking Marre’s hair. “You’re okay. You’re here. I feel you—you’re solid and real.”
Marre nodded, again exhaling deliberately and slowly. “Thank you, Captain.”
Tev leaned forward placed a lingering kiss on Marre’s forehead, and Marre closed her eyes, placing her hands on Tev’s cheeks. I felt like a voyeur, but I was drawn to both of them, warmed and moved by Tev’s kindness and Marre’s strength.
“So are you going to help us, or not?” Tev said eventually, pulling away from Marre and turning back to me.
I forced myself to refrain from looking at Marre any longer; I didn’t want her to mistake my concern for gawking. “I want to, but I don’t know about gambling entirely on my flighty sister. You don’t know how stubborn she can be.”
“Exactly. I don’t know her. You do. You want to stay on this ship? Prove your worth to us. Be useful. Get her to cooperate.”
“I’m an engineer; that’s where my worth lies. My sister and I don’t even get along. I want to help, but—”
She stepped closer, hands on her hips, looking down at me with those bright green eyes. Just like that, she’d transformed from nurturing to intimidating. Standing near Tev felt seductively dangerous, like waving my bare palm over a flame. “Try harder.”
Heat licked up my spine.
“Your sister is the only lead we have, the only thing we know Birke wants badly enough that we can use as leverage. I’ll be damned if I’m not helping my pilot. She’s suffering. If you have a better idea, let’s hear it.”
“You’re underestimating how little Nova might care.”
Tev tilted her head a bit, as if she wanted to say something but refrained. “You’ll just have to think of a way to convince her it’s in her best interest to work with us, then. You know her. Find a bruise and poke it.”
“She doesn’t bruise easily.”
Ascension: A Tangled Axon Novel Page 6
