‘I see.’ His eyes began to flash quietly and his face hardened.
‘Please excuse me.’
She walked on, thinking that she’d managed to cover her hurt well—until she reached her room and couldn’t stop her tears.
Ross watched her back as she walked away, tempted to go after her. Instead he went to find Giles. Together they would greet the guests due to arrive shortly.
* * *
The evening was a pleasant one for everyone except Ross, who was quietly seething following his encounter with Lisette. Sherry was served in the drawing room as the guests arrived, though most of the gentlemen preferred to take a glass of brandy to crisp the stomach before dinner. Antony Bennington, Lord and Lady Latham and their son, Roland, a handsome brown-haired young gentleman who had been at school with Antony, were the first to arrive. In their early sixties, Lord Latham was a tall angular man, his wife small and on the plump side.
Antony’s parents, the Earl and Countess of Cawood, due to arrive in the next few days, were to stay with the Lathams at Glebe Hall.
Ross was both proud and delighted with the way Araminta greeted their visitors with charm and self-assurance. It was almost as if she had suddenly matured, as if tonight marked the end of her life as a girl and the beginning of her life as a wife. He noted how Antony watched her, too, with adoring eyes. With the incident at the Dog and Partridge Inn behind them, Ross had no qualms about Araminta marrying this tall, fair-haired young man.
The conversation was merry, with Ross, seated next to Araminta, and Giles at the end of the table outdoing each other in telling tales of their experiences in India and Spain. Araminta, too, was in high spirits as she quipped across the table with her adored Antony and Mr Seagrove and Lily on Giles’s right, who wanted to know how preparations were progressing for the wedding.
‘You will officiate, Mr Seagrove?’ Wilhelmina said. ‘Araminta has a notion to be married in the chapel here at Castonbury Park’
‘I shall be happy to, Mrs Landes-Fraser. Here or at St Mary’s in the village—it will be an honour. It is only fitting that Araminta should be married in the family chapel. I hope it won’t be too long before I can officiate at my own daughter’s wedding.’ He twinkled a smile at Lily.
‘It won’t,’ Giles said, giving his betrothed an adoring look.
Ross had fallen silent, content to listen to what was being said. Becoming distracted, he reached for the glass of wine Lumsden had placed before him, looking at Lily. He imagined another young woman seated at the table, with hair as black as Lily’s, though her eyes were amber and her skin golden. Despite her lowly rank Lisette was undoubtedly a lady, regal in her bearing and possessing the unconscious grace of a true thoroughbred. For Ross she represented everything most desirable in a woman. The thought was pleasing to him, but he knew his family would think differently and refuse to countenance even the idea of such an association with a girl they would consider lowlier than a vicar’s foundling daughter.
He was deeply troubled by Lisette’s cold attitude towards him earlier. What the hell had gotten into her? Whatever it was he intended to find out.
* * *
Ross was leaving his rooms the next day when he saw Lisette carrying some clean linen to his sister’s room. Ross was unable to resist a moment in which to question her about her behaviour the previous day and to recapture that enchantment they had known in the barn.
‘Lisette!’
The blood drained from Lisette’s face when she saw Ross bearing down on her with a look of wrath. Letting out a small cry she turned to retrace her steps, but before she could do so, his hand was planted on her elbow.
‘Don’t you dare,’ he warned. ‘Come with me. We are going to go somewhere private where we can discuss what the hell this is all about.’
She twisted free, scorched by his touch. ‘Don’t,’ she exploded, her body shaking with wrath. ‘Why guard my sensibilities now when you’ve made a laughingstock of me since the day we met. Why stop now?’
He caught her elbow and none too gently drew her into his bedroom and closed the door behind them. Relieving her of the pile of linen he deposited it on a chair.
‘What do you think you are doing?’ Lisette tried to push past him but taking her arm he pressed her back against the hard wood of the door. ‘Let go of me, damn you,’ she cried, trying to prise his arm out of the way. Being so close to him caused her heart to pound with wild confusion and her foolish body to react much as it had when they had made love. In fact, her burning reaction to him was even worse now. His smell was that of pure, potent masculinity, and when she planted her hand on his chest to try to push him away once more, she felt the heat of his body through his clothes.
‘Such language,’ he drawled, his eyes glittering with reproach as he refused to release his hold. ‘This is no way to greet your lover, Lisette.’
He looked much too large and darkly threatening to Lisette. ‘You are not my lover,’ she retorted, her magnificent eyes shining with tears of humiliation and wrath.
‘Lisette,’ he chided softly. ‘You are mine. Do not doubt it.’
‘The devil I am! I belong to no man—and you should not have dragged me in here. I have things to do.’
‘They can wait.’ A glint of wicked intentions passed behind his eyes. Staring down at her in chilly, fierce reproach, he lowered his head, his lips hovering close to hers.
But Lisette wouldn’t allow it. While she still had some small vestige of sanity she had to end this madness. Though her treacherous female body was ready to arch itself to accommodate his, gathering all her emotions into a tight, hard knot of pride, she struggled free.
Ross eyed her warily, unable to understand what had got into her, so sure had he been in his belief that her need must be as great as his and she would soon respond to his warm, moist mouth and searching hands.
‘Please don’t do this,’ she said, her voice trembling with fury. ‘How dare you think you can drag me down whenever the fancy takes you. I’m not some—some loose woman who’ll lie down for you as you seem to think.’
Her words pulled Ross up sharp and he just stared at her. ‘Well. Well,’ he said at length, unable to believe all his romantic plans were being demolished. ‘It seems I’ve found myself a little spitfire. The perfect servant, eh? I knew there was more to you than meets the eye.’ His brows creased. ‘My desire for you is hard driven, Lisette. Do not push me away. What is this about, and why have you been avoiding me?’
It was his voice that made her want to lay her head against his chest and weep, that beautiful deep voice, and his face—that harsh, handsome face she adored. It was as though she had been living all these weeks in a fantasy world, a world where dreams would come to fruition if she was only patient, a world where his loving had lulled her into a false belief. How could she have been such a credulous fool? To give in to him now would be to sacrifice her independence, which, she realised now, she had fought for and won, even if it was only as a servant, and little by little would be completely possessed by him, completely absorbed, and it terrified her,
‘Please don’t ask me—don’t question me. Let it be enough when I tell you it is over.’ Lisette meant it. She couldn’t let him see how desperately she was in love with him, how her heart yearned for a reciprocated love, not this one-sided affair where all the emotion seemed to be on her side, and where all his tenderness was simply borne out of a man’s natural lust for a woman. ‘What we did should never have happened.’
His brows snapped together in an ominous frown. ‘Are you saying you regret what we did?’
Lisette swallowed painfully and nodded, averting her eyes. ‘Yes,’ she lied. ‘Yes, I do. Now let go of me.’
‘Did I displease you? Is that what all this is about?’
In a voice fraught with emotion, she said, ‘How can any woman be displeased with you? Looking as you do and with such impeccable credentials, I have no doubt you are the dream of every woman living in Derbyshire.’
> ‘Is that the way you feel about me?’
Lisette groaned within herself. If only he knew how her heart ached for him, he wouldn’t even consider asking that question.
‘Let me look at you, Lisette,’ he cajoled gently, but when she complied by lifting her head, his brows gathered in perplexity. The tears glistening in the long silken lashes were difficult to ignore. Laying a lean hand alongside her cheek, he gently wiped away a droplet with his thumb. ‘What is troubling you so much you feel the need to cry?’
Embarrassed because she couldn’t contain her emotions, she responded with a frantic shake of her head. ‘I’m not.’
His hand moved to the tender column of her throat, and he came to marvel at the rapid pulse he felt beneath his palm. She was far more upset than she wanted to admit. ‘Then why are your lashes wet? If they aren’t tears, then what would you have me believe they are?’
Lisette recognised the threat of her emotions welling forth in greater volume and tried to turn her head aside, but his hand, gentle yet unyielding, remained on her throat, refusing to allow her to escape his close inspection. She could do nothing but submit to his probing gaze.
‘Please, Ross, let me go.’
‘I will when you tell me the cause for your dejection,’ he bargained gently.
Forcing his hand away she walked to the centre of the room and whirled on him, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. ‘Why can’t you let it be? Why do you have to keep chipping away at me? I’ve said all I want to say on the subject. I really don’t want to talk about this now. My tears have nothing to do with what happened between us.’
‘On the contrary, Lisette. I think what we did is at the very heart of your despondency, and if you’d care to enlighten me, I’d be most grateful.’
‘No,’ she uttered sharply. ‘The fact is that I have changed since...’ She cast her gaze downward to avoid his eyes. ‘I dislike the situation and I have decided that it would be for the best if we put it behind us. Henceforth you may go your way without giving me a thought. I want no more of it. Indeed, I can bear no more of it.’
‘You’re not being rational,’ Ross argued striding towards her. Reaching out a hand, he rested it gently upon her forearm as he sought to calm her. ‘I must get to the bottom of this. I have no intention of ending our relationship unless I have reason to believe that your contempt for me—if that is indeed what it is—is beyond the measure I can bear. Come, my love. You’ll feel different if you just let me hold you.’
‘No, I won’t! I’ll feel exactly the way I do now!’ she cried, throwing off his hand. ‘Except that I will hate myself a little bit more.’ Her voice broke with emotion as she demanded, ‘Please! And don’t call me your love. I’m not your love—nor have I ever been.’
‘Lisette, for pity’s sake—be reasonable,’ Ross pleaded, and tried to draw her towards him.
‘I’m freeing you from any commitment you may feel towards me,’ she declared resolutely, shrugging free. ‘As far as I am concerned there is no more to be said. You have to understand that it is finished between us!’
Elevating a dark brow and folding his arms to restrain his hands from touching her, he continued to gaze down at her. His eyes narrowed, because he could not link the figure standing before him with the lovely young woman who had loved him with such passion—a transition had taken place.
‘Do you think that making love to you meant nothing to me, you foolish girl?’ he said abruptly, his lips curling in slight mockery. ‘Do I look like a man who is playing games? The hell I am! How dare you dismiss me without any sort of explanation? Exactly whom, Miss Lisette Napier, do you think you’re dealing with?’
Lisette fought the urge to shrink from his show of bluster and forced herself to sound as calm as possible. ‘I know precisely who I’m dealing with. That’s the trouble. We do not suit, Ross. We have been fooling ourselves.’
‘Why?’ he demanded.
‘Because we are too different. We have been through this before. I don’t want to have to go through it again.’
‘And neither do I.’
‘Why do you want me?’ she cried. ‘There are plenty of women prettier than me in your world.’
‘I don’t care about them any more than you care for my status. I want you,’ he added, even more decisively as he began prowling towards her.
‘For what purpose?’ she exclaimed. ‘Wouldn’t it be best to find a woman who doesn’t work in your household?’
He shrugged, dismissing her question. ‘I don’t care about any of that. It is you I want. You are the most delightful lover any man could be fortunate enough to take to his bed.’
Lisette clamped her jaw and glared at him, his casual remark raising her ire to the fore. ‘And that is precisely what I am—your lover, Ross, and I will be your lover no longer.’
‘Lover? Good God, woman! You make it sound as though I chose you as I would a decent hunter—because you had a beautiful face and figure and the kind of nature that would suit my purposes admirably. I didn’t choose you, Lisette. What man in his right mind would choose a woman whose acquisition creates nothing but problems? The truth of it is that I was attracted to you from the first. I couldn’t help myself.’
‘So you admit that by association I will bring you nothing but grief, which is what I have been saying. This is why it cannot go on. I cannot believe I let you do what you did to me, but all I can do is pray for forgiveness for my lapse from grace. Now will you allow me to take my leave or do I have to shout for help?’
She threw back her head and Ross was alarmed to see not only rage but what looked like a mixture of contempt and...was it anguish? His jaw hardened. He unfolded his arms and his long, lean, handsome body rose to its full height.
‘Very well, but may I ask what has brought about this temper you are in?’
‘Temper? I wasn’t in a temper until you dragged me into your bedroom.’
‘How else was I to speak to you?’ They wanted each other, they both admitted that with brutal honesty, so why the hell were they glaring at each other with what seemed to be hatred? They were both free and could do as they pleased so why was she making it so complicated?
‘Why are you going over this again?’ he asked, and even as he spoke his mind his senses were bemused by the way the light from the window shone in the blackness of her hair neatly coiled into a chignon in her nape. The heat of her anger had also put a flush beneath the creamy smoothness of her skin and her amber eyes blazed at him from beneath the fine arch of her brows. ‘I thought we’d had all this out. I have told you it is not important.’
‘It is to me.’ Lisette felt her heart contract with pain, and tremors seemed to flow into every part of her body. She loved him so, she knew that now, more than her own life, and yet it would soon be over and she would never see him again.
‘Don’t struggle like this, Lisette. Don’t fight me. I am not your enemy. I want nothing more than to help you—to love you.’
‘That’s the trouble, Ross. That’s how I got into this—this dilemma.’
He looked at her sharply as a thought struck him. ‘Are you with child? Is that what this is all about?’
She almost laughed as she stared at him. After the talking to Mrs Stratton had given her, she was amazed at having escaped the consequences of her transgression. ‘There will be no child, Ross.’ What she would have done faced with such a predicament she had no idea. At least now she could move on. ‘I can’t afford you! Your help, as you like to call it, has cost me my reputation and my good name.’
‘And for that you blame me?’ His eyes were colder than an icy winter sky and there was a thin, white line about his mouth. He watched her, his anger fierce and knife-edged, hating her, loving her, wanting her. His voice softened for a moment, since he adored the very ground she walked on, but when he put out a hand to restrain her she shook him off and backed away.
‘I am not blaming you. All I am saying is that it should not have happened—I should not
have let it happen. Whatever you have to say to me I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want you to come near me again. Ever. Get on with your life and I will get on with mine.’
His nostrils flared, and he responded with a violence to match her own. ‘You dare to speak to me like that! You forget, Lisette—’
‘Forget! Can I ever forget that this is pretence? Can I ever forget your noble birth or your military rank? Yet I do dare to say that what we had is over. I am no lady, but I have been your equal in love, and for this I dare to tell you how I feel.’
He stalked towards her, tall, formidably muscular. He stared at her, intensely, the hard lines of his jaw and cheekbones starkly etched. ‘Don’t do this, Lisette. A word of warning. If you send me away I won’t come back. I’m not a man to beg.’
‘Don’t threaten me. I will not be threatened. There is a saying, Ross—we live and learn—and I have been very slow to learn, lacking in experience you understand. But if I have learned anything at all, it is never to make the same mistake twice.’
‘Damn you, Lisette.’ He thrust his face, which had become hard and uncompromising, into hers, his rage growing, his frustration at her unwillingness to listen boiling inside him. ‘Since you are clearly not as enamoured of me as I so foolishly thought, I trust you will not object if I find someone more amenable.’
‘Do that, and I wish you joy in her.’
‘Oh, I assure you I shall.’ His voice was mocking and his eyes gleamed sardonically, though he was still white-lipped with anger. ‘And you can go about your business carrying that pride and bloody determination on your shoulders for all I care.’
‘Leave me alone,’ she said, turning away. She did not want to hear any more for she could feel her weak woman’s body straining towards him, yearning to give in, to lean against his strong male body, to have him enfold her in his strong arms. ‘I have nothing more to say to you.’ Picking up the linen she strode out of the room.
To Ross she looked like a young queen, with her head held high and proud, her body moving with unconscious grace. He watched her in silence, feeling the familiar, hot need for her rising in his loins, the longing he’d felt for days to seek her out and gather her into his arms and lose himself in her. He went back into his room, but he was unable to shake off the image of a tempestuous beauty with blazing amber eyes and a face alive with fury and disdain. The picture became etched on his mind along with a voice that trembled with emotion. She’d actually looked and sounded as if she meant everything she’d said to him, and he was still puzzled as to the reason why.
The Housemaid's Scandalous Secret Page 19
