by Kaci Rose
“Lexi, I need you to promise me something,” Tyler said, his voice serious.
“Anything, you know that,” I said, lifting my head from his shoulder to look at him.
“If something happens to me, I want you to be happy. I want you to love again and find someone who loves you as hard as I do.”
“Stop talking like that,” I said, laying my head back down, not able to look at him.
A split second later, he rolls me over on top of me and has me pinned down on the bed. His eyes bore into mine.
“I’m serious, Lexi. I don’t want you to go through the rest of your life alone. I want you to allow someone to love you again. I want you to open your heart and allow yourself to love them.”
Then, I had burst out into tears. “I can’t,” I sobbed.
He gave me a sad smile. “You will. I’ll make sure of it. I want you to have all your dreams, Lexi. Every damn one of them, and I will make that happen. Promise me, Lexi. Promise me, you will move on and be happy. You will buy your house and fill it with kids and grandkids and keep doing your photography and be happy. Promise me.” He says, pleading.
“I promise.” I finally said, sobbing again.
I cry now, because I know it was him bringing Kim to me today, and it was him bringing that memory back. I lean up to the headstone and rest my forehead against the smooth, cold stone.
“I love you with my whole heart and made you a promise I never thought I’d have to keep. But I will try my best. I love you and thank you for bringing Noah to me. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I take a deep breath and kiss the stone, before making my way back to my car.
Chapter 13
Lexi
When I get back to my car, Becky wraps up her phone call.
“You okay if we come back and visit tomorrow before we head out?” I ask her.
“Of course.” She smiles.
I try to force a smile, but of course, she can see right through that.
“You okay?” She asks.
“Yeah, I remembered a conversation we had, before his first deployment. You know where you sit and talk about anything and everything because you don’t know what to expect? I just… feel at peace now.” I say.
“Good.” She smiles at me.
Once at the hotel, we decide to grab take out from the pizza place across the street and eat in the room.
“Why don’t you go take a shower? I’ll go get the food. Still like sausage, onions, and green pepper now that you’re pregnant?” I ask.
“Yes, and breadsticks. Oh, and a soda!” She says as I head out the door.
When I get back with the food, I find Becky, relaxing on her bed. Her dark brown hair wet and curly.
I sit on the bed, and we spread out the food.
“Oh, man. This pizza is really good,” Becky says.
“Yeah, it’s the highlight of visiting up here,” I say, bringing the conversation to a crashing halt.
We eat in silence for a few minutes, before Becky starts talking again.
“Johnny spent the day with Noah. He says Noah kept asking where you were, and if you were okay. Johnny didn’t know what to tell him, said you had something to do, that you were fine, and I was with you. I guess, they watched TV and played some cards, but Noah was distracted the whole time, almost sad.”
I don’t know what to say, so I keep eating.
“Noah asked about you, how you were as a kid and Johnny’s favorite memories of you. And I shouldn’t tell you this, but I think you should know in light of today. Noah asked Johnny’s permission to date you if the opportunity arises.” She says.
I almost choke on my pizza.
“What did Johnny say?” I ask.
“He gave his permission.”
A huge smile takes over my face.
“They also talked a bit about their next steps. You know they’re both being honorably discharged. They’ll be one hundred percent disabled, so they have those payments to lean on. Johnny’s talking about flipping houses with your dad. Noah wants to go back to school, but he hasn’t decided what for yet.”
I like the idea of Noah doing something he wants.
“One more thing.”
“Good lord, was I really gone that long?” I ask, and she laughs.
“There’s talk about both guys getting some service medals. They’ll wait, until they are out of the hospital to awarded, of course. Johnny wasn’t the only one Noah saved. That’s all Johnny would say. I guess, they haven’t told Noah yet, because Johnny is worried he’s not ready to hear it or to talk about that day.”
I nod lost in thought. This won’t be my first ceremony. Tyler received a purple heart that I accepted in his place after he died. It’s in the shadow box above the fireplace in my living room and has his flag displayed in it.
We talk some more just like old times. She tells me about the pregnancy book she’s reading, and we laugh really hard at some of the pregnancy side effects. It feels good to laugh again.
After we finish dinner, Becky steps outside to go sit in the car and call Johnny. I try to watch TV but can’t concentrate.
So, I pick up my phone and call the hospital. I get put through to Noah’s room. It rings for a while before he picks up.
“Hello?” He answers hesitantly.
“Noah, it’s Lexi.”
“Lexi,” he sighs.
“Do you want… can you talk?” I ask unsure if he wants to talk to me.
“Yeah, I’ve got nothing but time.” He says, and then we’re both quiet.
“Where are you? Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine, I promise. I’m actually better than I have been in a long time, and I’ll promise to tell you everything next time I see you.”
He hesitates for a moment, “When will that be?”
“Day after tomorrow. Johnny is going to hang out with you again tomorrow. Is that okay? If not, I can find someone else, but be warned it will probably be my mother, and trust me, you want to pick Johnny.”
He chuckles.
“Johnny and I already have plans.”
“Good. So, tell me about your day.”
“Johnny made me watch God awful TV shows about pawn shops.” He says.
I laugh, “He has like five different ones he watches. I always zone out, when they are on.”
“So, did I. We played some cards and talked, too.”
“Did you do your PT exercises?”
“Yeah, Brooke helped me.”
Shoot, I should have called and told her I wasn’t going to be there, so she’d keep an eye on him.
“Good,” I say.
It’s quiet for a moment, but not uncomfortable.
When he speaks again, it’s barely above a whisper. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I wasn’t when I left last night, but… people are put in your path when you need them the most. Today, proved that, yet again. And right now, I’m doing really well. Becky and I had dinner, and we laughed. I don’t remember laughing that much in a long time.”
When he speaks again, I can hear the smile in his voice. “Good, I like it, when you laugh.”
“Noah…” I sigh not sure of my words.
“Yeah, angel?” He says.
The term of endearment is exactly what gives me the strength to say what’s on my mind.
“I miss you,” I say.
He takes a deep shaky breath. “I miss you, too. So much.”
Things are quiet for a moment, but it’s an easy quiet.
“Lexi?”
“Yeah?”
“I need a favor.”
“Anything, Noah.”
“Well, they’re discharging me from the Marines, and I was staying on base in the barracks. They’re boxing up my stuff, and I need help getting it out of there.” He says.
“Done. I’ll enlist a few friends to help. We’ll move it to my place because I have plenty of storage.”
“You sure?”
“Promise. Just let
me know when and where, and I’ll be there.” I tell him.
“Becky will need to get you on the base.” He adds.
“Did you forget I’m a widow? I get base privileges for life to use the doctor or commissary, all that fun stuff. How do you think I was able to come to see you every day?”
“I thought you were getting visitor passes.”
“Nope.” I laugh. “Just let me know the date and time, and I’ll make it happen, okay?”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I hear Becky inserting her key in the door, so I decide to wrap up my call.
“Hey, Becky is back, and we’ll have an early morning tomorrow. So, I’ll talk to you tomorrow night. Okay?” I say.
“Fine, be safe, Lexi.”
“I will. Bye, Noah.”
After we hang up, I look up to find Becky, watching me with a big grin.
“I was hoping you’d call him. He was really missing you.” She says.
“Well, we need to rally the troops. Noah has to get his stuff out of the barracks, and I told him he can store it at my place.” I tell her.
Becky nods. “I’ll get the details and have Johnny reach out to a few guys.”
“Thanks. How’s the collection for Noah’s family coming along?”
“We have the money for the plane tickets for all four of them.”
“And they can stay with me, so that takes care of lodging.”
“We’re still raising money to cover their loss of income for taking some time off. From what Johnny tells me, they are barely making it paycheck to paycheck, and any missed time would sink them.” She says.
I just nod.
“I have a few more tricks up my sleeve. You leave it to me.” Becky jumped into military life with both feet. She made connections and learned everything she could. She volunteered and helped out a lot. Even more so, once Tyler died. After that, I stepped away and lost most of my connections. Thankfully, Becky is here to help.
I had planned to be alone today, but I’m really glad she’s here.
Chapter 14
Lexi
I’m up, before the sun the next day, just like I always am, when I’m here, standing at the window just watching the city come to life. Becky gets up to use the restroom, and then stands by me, as watch the sunrise. It’s barely five a.m.
You might expect my mind to be racing, but it’s actually blank. I’m calm and at peace right now. A feeling I have, when I’m here.
“You know, if we get going now, we can get back in time to see the guys, before visiting hours are up tonight.” She says.
I like the idea of surprising Noah. Everything has changed for us in the last few days and in the best way.
I smile. “You ready to head out?”
“Yep, just got to get dressed.”
Once we are dressed and everything is loaded into the car, I check us out of the hotel, and we grab a quick breakfast from a food cart a few blocks down from the hotel. Breakfast tacos are seriously the best, and bonus, little baby no name likes them, so no morning sickness for Becky.
We head to Arlington Cemetery and park. We have enough time to eat and make it for the Changing of the Guard. After watching the ceremony, we head to see Tyler again.
Today, is a good day. I feel so much better. It’s a night and day difference from when I made this same walk yesterday.
I come to a stop in front of his headstone. “I remember the promise I made you. It’s not easy, Tyler. It fucking sucks, but I’m going to try. For you, I’m going to try. I talked to Noah last night, and it was lighter. He’s easy to talk to just like you were, and it’s hard to hold my secrets with him.”
Pausing, I remember how Tyler could always pull any information out of me. There were never any secrets between us, and we could talk to each other about anything. He was my best friend, my partner.
“I know you brought Noah to me. The same way you brought Kim to me yesterday. Thank you. I know you’re watching out for me, and I’ll try to make you proud.”
Before I start crying again, I take a moment to get myself together. Becky places her hand on my back, lending me her strength.
“I promise to come back for your birthday like I always do. If Noah is able to make the trip, I’ll bring him, too.”
After I kiss the headstone, Becky and I walk hand-in-hand to the car. We start the long drive home, but by the grace of God, we don’t hit any traffic. It’s like Tyler is saying you must see Noah. He knows I need to just as much as I have the feeling that I do.
We grab some fast food for dinner, eat, and then go back to my place, so Becky can get her car. Then, we head over to surprise the guys.
“Johnny said he’s back in his room, so we’ll see you in a bit,” Becky tells me at Noah’s door.
I stand just outside his door and take a deep breath. This is the same hospital, the same room, and the same guy, but everything feels different. Everything is different because I’m different now. In the best way.
When I peek my head in, Noah’s sitting on his bed, looking out the window. He looks sad and tired. I knock on the door frame, and his head snaps to me, and his whole face lights up.
Right here, this moment right now is life changing in so many more ways than I can describe. Someone was waiting for me, and I made him smile. Those are powerful feelings when you had resigned yourself to being alone for the rest of your life.
“We got in early, so I thought I’d surprise you,” I say, as he scoots over and pats the side of the bed.
I hesitantly walk over to the bed but don’t sit.
“Best surprise ever.” He smiles, and I can’t take my eyes off of him. Where he looked sad moments ago, he looks happier and lighter than the last time I saw him, which was less than forty-eight hours ago.
“Sit with me?” He asks, patting the bed again.
I slowly sit down beside him, making sure I don’t hurt him. This is the closest we have ever been. He takes my hand and holds it on his lap. I look over at him and give him a small smile. He smiles back, as our eyes lock.
We’re so close I’m touching him from my shoulder to my hip, and every single inch tingles. My skin that’s touching his skin feels like it’s on fire. He moves towards me slowly, until his forehead rests on mine. He doesn’t take it any further. We just sit there, soaking each other in.
“I missed you,” I whisper to him, needing him to know I was thinking of him on my trip.
“I missed you too, angel, so much.” He whispers back.
He brings his scarred hand to my cheek and slowly pushes it into my hair, before closing the distance between us. A moment later his lips are on mine, and the world tilts and time slows. This kiss stops the world from spinning, exactly how Becky told me she felt, when she kissed Johnny for the first time, how it felt, when I first kissed Tyler, and how my mom says it felt when she first kissed my dad.
Noah’s lips on mine feel incredible. As I kiss him back, I explore the soft mixed with the rough scars on one side. The mix of the rough and soft turn me on so damn much that I didn’t think it was possible. Neither of us are in hurry to speed this kiss up. We both want to enjoy the moment.
Without thinking, I reach up and place my hand on his cheek, and his entire body stiffens. That’s when I realize my hand is on his scarred cheek.
Chapter 15
Noah
I’m so lost in the sexiest kiss of my life that I don’t realize what Lexi is doing until her hand touches my face. I don’t think she realized what she was doing either by the way she stiffened up.
Not sure what her response will be, I pull back slightly and go still. She shocks me when she leans in to kiss me again, and this time bringing her other hand up to place on the other side of my cheek. Then, I rest my forehead on hers.
Her hand on my scarred side feels so good, so right. I’m too scared to let her keep going, but also too scared to pull away because that was the best damn kiss of my life. I never knew a kiss
could be this intense. The way she kissed me back. Holy hell, I just don’t have the words.
Keeping her forehead to mine, her fingers start tracing the scars, and I’m frozen, unable to move, even if I wanted, too. Her touching the scars makes me uncomfortable, but she’s the only person I trust enough to let touch them. Only her. So, I fight the instinct to pull back and let her gently stroke my scars.
Clamping my eyes closed, I concentrate on my breathing, but when she kisses my forehead, I forget how to breathe. Her soft lips move down the scared side of my face, kissing the grooves and raised skin, and fuck, if she doesn’t break me right then.
Any worry I have of how she looks at me is gone. She just showed me how she feels. She kisses down my cheek slowly, not leaving an inch of skin untouched. When she reaches my jawline, she kisses her way back to my mouth.
Then, her lips land back on mine, and my hand is pulling her into me to kiss her, as deeply as I can. In this kiss, I pour out my emotions I’m afraid to say, and the ones I can’t find the words to say. I claim her in this kiss, even if she isn’t ready to hear it, but she has become mine.
When we pull away, we are both breathless, and I look into her eyes. She’s a little dazed, but she offers me a soft smile. I love that I can make her look like that.
“Will you lay with me and tell me about your trip?” I ask.
“Okay.” She smiles at me.
I adjust the bed and lay off to one side. She lies down and rests her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her and hold her to me, and she presses her chest to my side, and her legs rest against my leg.
Having her in my arms for the first time, makes everything go away. The pain, the suffering from the accident, the anxiety of not having a way to take care of my parents, the last few days of her being gone, and the surgeries coming up. All of it melts always with her in my arms.
