by Kaci Rose
“We always knew this was a possibility. That doesn’t mean the phone call was any easier to get.” Dad whispers.
“I know, and I’m sorry I worried you.”
“Oh, you’re here and alive, and that’s all that matters. Plus, you got to meet Lexi. If you had to go through all this to find her, would you really change any of it?” Mom asks.
I turn my head and look out of the window. This hasn’t been easy; it’s been the most painful and difficult thing I’ve ever been through. But Lexi? She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Could I imagine not having her in my life? If none of this had happened, I’d still be with Whitney, and I know that’s not where I want my life to take me.
“I wouldn’t change a thing,” I say.
Chapter 22
Lexi
The day after his family leaves, we’re snuggling in his hospital bed watching TV. I have my back to his chest and his hand has been rubbing the skin on my hip and driving me crazy.
“Lexi, I need to talk to you about something.”
“Okay,” I start to turn to face him, but he stops me.
“This will be easier for me to say if you aren’t looking at me.” When he says that, I’m worried.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“I was so excited that you agreed to be my girlfriend that I wasn’t thinking it through, and I didn’t want to have this conversation in front of my parents.”
Crap, I’ve screwed this up already, and he’s breaking up with me. Stupid me for putting my heart on the line.
“I’m not breaking up with you.” He says into my ear like he can read my mind. “I left out some details the doctor told me.”
“Noah, what’s wrong?” I ask my heart racing now. Either he’s breaking up with me, or something’s wrong. Whichever way it is, I don’t think this is going to be a good conversation.
“The doctor said due to the burns and the scarring locations he wasn’t sure if… um, well, if I will be able to have kids or…” he trails off.
I take his hand in mine that’s on my hip, and then pull it around me. His scarred hand that he lets only me touch. I bring it to my lips and kiss that beautiful scarred hand that saved lives. Kids aren’t a deal breaker for me. Hell, for a while, I’ve had it in my head that I’d never have kids. Yet, I feel like there’s something else.
“No secrets, Noah,”
He buries his head in the back of my neck and kisses my shoulder.
“He doesn’t know if I’ll be able to have kids or even… perform.”
“Perform?” I ask, a bit lost.
“Get hard again.” He whispers.
“Oh,” I say, letting that sink in.
“I know kids are your dream, so I understand if you don’t want to be with me, as it’s asking you to give up a lot.”
This time I don’t let him stop me from turning around. I take his face with both my hands.
“Noah, stop,” he takes a shaky breath, but he still won’t meet my eyes.
“This isn’t a deal breaker for me.”
Finally, he meets my eyes, and I see the question there.
“It’s not?”
“Noah… dreams change. I haven’t had hope of having kids for years now. Even since I met you, I haven’t thought about it outside of Becky being pregnant. Once I thought about a sperm donor, but then decided I didn’t want to do it on my own. There’s always adoption. I have a huge house to fill and so many kids who need a home.” I tell him.
He still isn’t convinced, and I’m not going to drop this until he is.
“Noah?” I ask, trying to pull it out of him.
“What if we can never have sex?” He mumbles.
I smirk because I like it that sex with me is on his mind, because it has been on my mind, too.
“Well, would you be selfish about it?”
“No. I’d make sure you were taken care of daily. Multiple times a day.”
Lord, if that isn’t a turn on! The sexy man in front of me wanting to give me orgasms multiple times a day. My mind races as I wonder what are the chances of him getting started now.
But when he swallows hard and opens his mouth, I never expect what comes out of it.
“You could, uh… always find someone…” He starts.
“Noah,” I growl. “An open marriage or relationship is a deal breaker for me. Your hands work and so does your mouth.”
To prove the point, he leans in and kisses me. It’s raw and needy, leaving me breathless.
When he pulls back, I can’t help but smile. “Yes, your mouth is perfect,” I say in a freshly kissed daze.
“I don’t see a problem here, Noah.”
He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and smiles. “How did I get so damn lucky?”
“Same way I did,” I say, kissing him again.
Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulls me in close and deepens the kiss. I run my hands through his hair.
“So, have you tried?” I ask against his lips.
“Tried to what?” He asks, his kisses gliding down my neck.
“To get hard.”
He pulls back and sighs. “No.”
“Can we try?”
“God, only a crazy man would say no to that, angel.” With a smile, I get up and lock the door.
“Maybe, a little visual?” I take my top off, leaving me in my shorts and a bra.
“Fuck, you’re sexy.” He says as he watches me walk back over him. I maneuver on the bed, so he’s lying back a bit more, but still sitting up enough to watch. His eyes follow my every move, as I climb in the bed with him and lean over to kiss him.
Kissing him, I trail my hand lightly down his chest and across his hips, and then over his cock, making his body still.
“Baby, you’ve got to relax,” I say, moving my hand.
“I’m scared.” He whispers.
“It’s all right if it doesn’t happen. We’ll try again,” I kiss him. “And again.” Kiss. “And again. And we’ll have fun trying, okay? This should be fun, and if it’s not, we’re doing something wrong.”
“Okay,” he nods.
“Then, lay back and let me take care of you.” Eager to begin, I lay down next to him.
He pushes my bra to one side and runs his thumb over the stiff peaks of my nipples. “You deserve so much better than a hospital room.” He growls.
“Yet, I don’t remember the last time I’ve been so turned on.”
His eyes travel up and meet mine, as his hand moves down to the edge of my shorts and pushes them to the side. He runs a finger over my panties.
“Fuck, you’re soaked, angel.” He groans.
“Told you,” I smirk.
I turn to the side and move my hand to his pants. As I reach into his pants and give his cock a tug, he twitches, so I play with him, and he starts breathing hard.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, it feels good, but…”
But he’s still soft. I give him a few more strokes, and he groans and pulls me up the bed to kiss me. “We’ll just have to keep trying,” I say.
He kisses down my belly and unbuttons my shorts.
“Noah, you don’t have, too,” I say.
He kisses me just below my belly button.
“I meant it, Lexi. I’ll always take care of you.” He says and pulls my shorts down.
He kisses my clit over my panties, and I throw my head back with a groan. Then, pulling my panties to the side, he runs his finger through my slick folds.
“You’re so wet, angel.” I moan.
“That’s what you do to me, baby,” I tell him.
“So damn sexy.” He says as he thrusts a finger into me, and I have to hold my hand over my mouth to stop the moan. “And so damn tight.” He says as he adds a second finger in me. He slowly thrusts them in and out, using his thumb to stoke my clit. My hips buck, wanting him closer, so he increases the pressure on my clit, and I start cumming so hard that I have to grab the pillow and bury my face in it
. I was never one to be loud, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this turned on either.
He lazily moves his finger in and out of me, until I start to relax. When he pulls his finger out, he licks them clean and then helps me put my shorts back on. He presses his warm lips to my stomach and drops tiny kisses, before stopping and looking into my eyes. The intensity between us is electrifying. When he runs his hand over my breast again, I shiver, because I’m still sensitive from my orgasm.
“Thank you, angel. Watching you let go like that, is a gift I’ll never forget.” He says, kissing me tenderly.
When he pulls back, I groan, but sit up and put my shirt back on and readjust my clothes, before going back to the door, unlocking and cracking it open. Then, I go lay back down with him and snuggle up to his side.
“You’re very comfy.”
“Get some sleep, angel.”
“You too,” I mumble, as I close my eyes.
Chapter 23
Noah
Today, is the day I talk to the plastic surgeon and to say I’m nervous is an understatement. It’s one thing to have emergency surgery because you have to, but choosing to go under the knife like this, is much scarier.
I’m sitting on the couch with Lexi snuggled up to my side. It’s been great being able to move around my room a bit, even if I still need help to do so.
“Hello, Noah. I’m Dr. Taylor. I’ll be your plastic surgeon. I consulted with your doctor, and he said we were just going to focus on your face and neck?” He launches right into it after shaking my hand.
“Yeah,” I say, as Lexi stands up, and I grab her hand.
“I’m not going far, Noah. I’m just going to sit on the bed, so I’m not in his way,” Lexi says smiling.
Dr. Taylor sits and examines my ear and my face, which makes me uncomfortable. The whole time Lexi holds my eyes and concentrating on her, makes it bearable. The doctor explains what he’ll be doing and several times when he mentioned peeling the skin back Lexi cringed, and I can’t blame her.
“So, I know that was a lot of medical jargon, but in short we will use some skin grafts to smooth out the scarring on your neck and cheek. We will rebuild some of your cheekbone and reconstruct your ear. Because your ear is more for aesthetics, it will be the last surgery we do. I think we can do all this in six surgeries with a week or two in between each one, maybe less, depending on how they heal. Any questions for me?”
My mind goes blank, but Lexi is right there.
“What kind of PT can he do if any? He hasn’t started, but they want to get him moving on it.”
“Light muscle work where he stays in bed is all. He’ll be able to move around his room as he feels up to it, but that’s about it.” The doctor says.
Lexi comes back to sit next to me, as the doctor talks a bit more about the procedures and aftercare. He again asks if there are any questions. Lexi is silent, so I squeeze her hand.
“Sorry, I zoned out a little. It’s hard to focus when he’s talking about cutting you open and stitching you back up.”
“He was asking if this is still something I want to do.”
“This choice is yours, Noah. You’re the one who will be in pain. I will always support whatever choice you make, but for the record, I love you just the way you are.”
Holy shit, did she just say she loves me? All I can think about now is getting this doctor out of here as fast as possible.
“I’ll do them,” I say.
“Great,” the doctor says. “The skin grafts we did last week are looking good, so we’ll reach out with a surgery date in a few days.” Then, he says goodbye and leaves the room.
My eyes are still locked on Lexi, as I pull her into my lap.
“Say it again, angel.”
“Say what?”
“You said you loved me,” I whisper.
She smiles, leaning in to give me a soft kiss.
“I love you, Noah. With everything I am, I love you.” Her words fail me, my heart is beating fast, and all I see is her.
Pouring my emotions into a kiss, I want to say without words what she means to me.
“I love you too, Lexi. That’s why I’m choosing to do the surgeries.”
“I don’t get it?” She says with a frown.
“You deserve more than being out to dinner with the biggest freak in the room.”
“Damnit, Noah. You are not a freak, and anyone who dares to say so will end up with worse scars than you.” She says angrily.
She reaches up to trace my scars, so I close my eyes and just feel.
“You know I have every line,” she leans in and kisses the scars by my eye. “Every dip,” she starts kissing down my face. “Every twist,” she places kisses along my jaw. “And turn of these scars memorized.” She kisses the corner of my mouth. My whole body shutters, feeling her soft lips on my rough skin.
“Will you take a picture with me?”
I nod, and she pulls up her phone, turns my head, so the scars are facing the camera, and I’m looking at her.
“You tend to hide your scars when others are around, but I want to remember them, Noah. I don’t want you to hide around me or anyone, but I want to remember you just like this.” She says.
For her, I’ll take the photo with my scars on full display, as uncomfortable as it makes me. For her, I would do anything.
“Promise me, you won’t hide from me.” She whispers as she goes back to kissing my scars.
Each kiss is turning me on a little more.
“I promise.”
The more she kisses me, the more kisses I want. My body hums with electricity, and I feel like I can do anything, so long as she keeps kissing me.
Then, I take her hand and place it over my cock. It’s not much, but it’s a semi and better than it has been when we’ve tried before.
She kisses back up to my good ear. “See, it’s getting better every time.” Then, she gets up and locks the door.
When she comes back to me, she falls to her knees between my legs.
“Lexi…” I whisper.
She smiles and pulls my shirt up and traces the scars on my side and ribs. Then, she leans in and kisses down to the waistband of my pants. She looks up at me, as her hands slowly move the waistband of my sweatpants, and then with slow deliberate moves, she pulls them down to pull my cock out.
My nerves start to get to me again, and I try to put them away and just concentrate on her hand on me. The sensations of her touching me. When she strokes my cock, there’s a twitch, but nothing else. My eyes are still closed, and suddenly, I feel her mouth on me.
My eyes pop open, and it’s erotic, watching her taking me into her mouth. Though, my heart starts racing along with my mind, nothing happens. I can’t take disappointing her anymore, so I’m grateful when she tilts her head to look up at me and tucks my cock back into my pants.
“Your turn, angel,” I say, as I pull her back up to me. She straddles my lap and settles with her arms around my neck.
“It will just take time, Noah. You’ll see.” She says, kissing me again.
While she kisses me, I run my hand up her thighs to the edge of her shorts and run my thumbs along the edge for a moment, before pulling them to the side and rubbing over her lace panties.
“I love how you’re always wet for me,” I tell her.
I still can’t believe she gets turned on by my scars. That the ugly skin does this to her.
“Will I still turn you on, when the scars are gone?” I ask as the question flashes through my head.
She frames my face with both hands and tilts my head to look at her.
“Oh, Noah. What turns me on is you. How sweet you are, how much you love me, how much I love you, and how brave you are. Your scars are a part of you, and that’s why I like them. But even when they’re gone or mostly gone, you will still turn me on. I think my body is conditioned to get excited as soon as you say angel now.” Deciding to put that to the test, I push her panties aside and run my fingers through her
folds.
“Is that so, angel?” I ask, and sure enough, she gets wetter.
As I thrust two fingers into her and start playing with her clit in the way I know drives her crazy, she starts riding my hand. I can tell you there’s nothing as sexy as seeing how turned on she is by me, as her eyes sparkle and her cheeks flush.
“Noah…” She whispers my name before her mouth crashes into mine. With her tongue tangling with mine, her hands in my hair, and her riding my fingers, it’s all almost too much. The sensations are overwhelming.
When her walls start to clamp down on my finger, I know she’s close. She grinds down harder and then starts cumming. I use my free hand to pull her in for a hard kiss and swallow her moans until she relaxes and collapses against my chest.
I pull my finger from her and lick them clean. I’m addicted to the taste of her, sweet and tangy.
I hold her to me. Yes, for this girl, I’d do just about anything.
Chapter 24
Lexi
Today, I’m at the hospital at an ungodly hour. The sun is barely up, and they’re prepping Noah for his first surgery. To say I’m nervous wouldn’t even begin to cover how I’m feeling.
He seems remarkably calm for someone getting ready to go under the knife, but he has also spent the morning telling anyone who will listen he wants me in his recovery room when he wakes up. He’s been told multiple times it’s on his chart, but he still makes sure.
In a way, it’s comforting to know he wants me there that much.
“Noah, I promise, I’ll be there,” I say, after he tells his nurse, Brooke, again for the third time in an hour. Thankfully, she just laughs and smiles.
A nurse in green scrubs and a bandanna in her hair knocks on the door.
“Okay, Mr. Carr, it’s time.” She smiles.
