What was left of those I loved.
I shuddered when I thought about what Westman had said to me through the now-dead woman’s lips. He’d said he was my father. What kind of sociopathic liar would even try that? It wasn’t even possible. I’d have known it. I’d have felt it somehow. I couldn’t share blood with him. My father—my real father—would never have done something like that. He was a better man. He was the best man.
But none of that mattered now. Westman knew I was here, and we were helpless.
As I put one foot in front of the other, nearly numb to reality, all I could think was that it was futile. We’d never make it to Karr’s safe house. Westman would come back. This was a pointless hike.
It was also the only thing we could do other than just give up, though. That was what kept me going. I wasn’t the kind to go down without a fight.
Karr nudged my arm with his elbow. “Lara, are you even listening to me?”
“Of course, I’m listening to you,” I answered in a huff. “What did you say again?”
“To keep a look out for food, remember? But you’re just staring at your shoes.”
“Right. Sorry.”
The truth was, I didn’t like the idea of stopping for too long. It wasn’t that I was in a hurry because I was afraid of Westman finding us. I mean, yes, I was afraid of that, but I didn’t think for a second that moving faster would help.
The reason I was in a rush was much more intimate: I was avoiding a certain conversation with Karr.
He’d kissed me, and I’d kissed him twice. He told me he loved me and, when I thought he was dead, I came to the realization that I loved him, too, but could I?
Even with our aterns back up to about just above half way, I was still very likely only days away from my own death, and same could be said of Karr, too. When you have to fight for your life as often as was necessary here, even a full atern bar didn’t get you very far. And it was clear Westman had no interest in keeping his one-time reluctant henchman alive.
So what was to stop Westman from murdering Karr outright? I had already made peace with my own death, and a large part of that came from not having anything or anyone to live for. I lifted right out, and no one would miss me.
Or so I’d thought.
Now I knew better. I knew I mattered, and I knew someone would miss me. And I would miss him. Could I really allow myself to go down that road?
“Lara? Are you okay?” he pressed after another bout of silence.
“Don’t worry about me,” I said, not breaking stride. “I’ll be fine.”
“Of course I’m going to worry about you,” he said in a huff. “What kind of person would I be if I didn’t worry about you?”
I shook my head and, muttering under my breath, then replied, “I don’t know. What kind of person are you?”
“You know what?” he said, sprinting to catch up with me. “I’ve had about enough of this.”
“Enough of what?” I balked.
“Enough of you acting this way,” he said. Grabbing my arm, he pulled me to a stop. I wrenched it out of his grip but didn’t move, instead staring holes through him. “I can’t keep up with you, you know.”
“Seems to me you caught up just fine,” I said, throwing my hands out at my sides. “Just walk faster. This is your terrain, after all.”
“Not that,” he growled, shaking his head. “I can’t keep up with the way you feel about everything. One minute you’re all over me, and the next you don’t even want to talk. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“I was never all over you,” I said, swallowing hard and hoping my face didn’t read as red as it felt. “I was just happy you weren’t dead. You were the one who was all over me.”
“Right! Because I love you,” he answered instantly. “And I’ve always been clear about that.”
“No,” I shouted, thrusting a pointed finger into his chest. “You most certainly were not always clear about that. You waited until after you got chosen to go into the Box to even hint at it, and I don’t think you would have done that if I hadn’t broken in to see you.”
“Because what difference would it have made then?” he asked, his tone high and his eyes wide. “I was gone. For all I knew, I was never coming back, never going to see you again. I just wanted you to be happy.”
“Then why tell me at all?”
“Because I couldn’t help myself,” he said, the words spilling from his lips with more passion that I’d even seen from him before. “Because I saw you there, and you were so beautiful and so strong. And I just couldn’t let you get away without knowing the truth. It was selfish and stupid, but I wanted to get it off my chest before the chance to do so was gone forever.”
“Yeah, well, you should have done it before.”
“I know.”
“You should have said it when I could have done something about it.”
“I know,” he repeated. “But I was afraid. Afraid I would let myself fall for you, and then one of us wouldn’t be around anymore. I was afraid I’d go into the Box, or you would go into the Box, or that life would take us in different directions. Or that… or that you wouldn’t feel the same way, and then I’d lose the best thing in my life.” He moved closer, taking my pointed finger into his hand. “You were the only thing that even made me want to get up in the morning.”
I stared at him, at those eyes, at those lips, at the face that had haunted my dreams and thrilled my days for as long as I could remember.
“We can’t do this,” I said breathlessly. “We have a job to do. We have an entire population to save.” I shook my head. “Maybe we had our chance. Maybe we had it, and we missed it, and it’s gone forever now.”
“Or maybe it’s not,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I know I’ve done horrible things, things I’ll never be able to forgive myself for. And, if you can’t look at me without seeing those things, then I understand. I think I know you better than that, though. I think you’re the kind of person who can see past all that, who can see to the real me.”
I shook my head, tears filling my eyes. “And what if I can’t?”
“That would be a shame,” he admitted. “Because I really need a reason to get up in the morning.”
“You have a reason,” I said, pulling back. “We both do. And it’s an entire faction that’s going to die if we don’t do something.”
And the worst part was, we didn’t even know what that something was.
Chapter 25
It was hard for me to know exactly how long we had been traveling. Back home in the faction, I could always tell when one day ended and another began. The sun would work its way through the frigid sky, turn tail, and work its way back. When it got back to the place it started, an entire day had passed. The blasted sphere hanging in this night sky always seemed to stand stalwart, though, never moving. It made it impossible for me to keep track of things. Even so, I knew we had been going for a long time.
We hadn’t talked too much since our argument/flirtation a few hours ago. Karr had made his feelings clear. For the most part, he was right. Now that I’d had time to think about things, I could see where he was coming from. Of the two of us, it had been Karr who had made his feelings the clearest. I couldn’t be blamed for that, though. At least not to my understanding. I had a lot going on and, unlike him, I hadn’t had years to process any of this. It had all been quick for me. It had all just happened.
But one of us needed to break the silence. So when we stopped to a stop in front of a rolling stream, I asked him if we were getting close.
“Close enough,” he answered, looking past me to the other side of the stream.
It was wide and fast enough for me to know I wasn’t going to be able to cross, which was just fine by me. After my last experience with streams in this place, the last thing I wanted to do was get my clothes wet again.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, glaring at him.
“It means if we can cross this stream, we sh
ould be there in a few hours,” he said, still looking at the rolling body of water.
“Well, it doesn’t look like the kind of thing we can just swim through,” I answered, turning to the stream. “Trust me when I tell you, those currents can get strong really quickly.”
“My plan was never to swim.” He cleared his throat and walked to the edge of the stream. I could smell the warm water as we neared it. He looked down at the water, scooping some of it up into his hands and slurping it up.
I pulled out a canteen—one of the few items I’d been given when I was thrown into the Box.
“No!” Karr said through a mouthful of water, holding his hand out as he stood. Spitting the water out, he said, “You can’t drink that.”
“What?” I balked. “Why not?”
“Because it’s not pure,” he answered. “I was pretty sure it was tainted, but I needed to taste it to make sure.” He made a scrunched, sour face. “I was definitely right.”
“Tainted how?” I asked, looking around. “With what?”
“Not with what,” Karr said, taking a couple of steps back from the stream and beckoning for me to follow him, which I did. “With who.”
“Who?” I asked, my eyes growing wide. “There are people in this water?”
“People is a generous term,” Karr said, his voice growing low and solemn. “They used to be people, I suppose. When Westman was banished here with his followers, not all of them were happy about being here.”
“You don’t say,” I muttered sarcastically.
“Some of them lost faith in him, openly defied him, and broke ranks. Naturally, he didn’t take the treason too well.”
“Traitors rarely do,” I answered as though I had any idea what I was talking about.
“He went after them, but instead of killing them, he decided to do something else.”
“I don’t like the way this is going,” I said, swallowing hard.
“Westman thought death was too easy for them, and besides, if you kill someone, they can never change their minds. They can never come back to you,” Karr continued.
“So what did he do?” I asked, my heart starting to pick up the pace as I fell further into this story.
“He used his magic—the magic he’d used to steal the night from the faction—to change them.” Karr shook his head. “Westman declared this place as his. It belonged to him. At least, the surface did.”
“Oh no,” I muttered, throwing a palm over my mouth in horror. “He didn’t.”
“I’m afraid he did,” Karr said, his eyes fluttering back to the stream. “He cast a spell, turning the traitors into something else, something grotesque and inhuman. They were forced under the water, forced to live beneath those who they turned on.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Some of them turned back immediately. Those who offered their loyalty to Westman again were free of the curse, save for a few markings up and down their face to remind them of his power.”
“The Ramblers,” I gasped, remembering the dagger like marking on their faces. Instead of daggers, could they have been representative of gills?
“The others weren’t so lucky. As the years and decades passed, they lost their minds. They went savage, went insane, became the horrible bottom dwellers Westman always made them out to be.”
“Those poor people,” I said, looking at the stream anew.
“Yes,” Karr conceded, nodding firmly. “But they’re still traitors. They still turned their backs on the faction. Don’t forget that.”
I remembered what Westman said, about how all he wanted was to be treated equally. Obviously, that wasn’t true. He wanted power. He wanted to be a ruler without being questioned. But what of these people. Maybe they did just want equality. Maybe they did just want a fair shake at things. In a different life, I could have been one of them. So could Karr. So could Arbor.
“And they’re in this stream?” I asked.
“Some of them,” Karr said. “These streams are usually freshwater, but the Dwellers leave salt deposits where they swim. It’s concentrated enough for me to know they’re either here, or they call this place their own.”
“So?” I asked.
“So, I was going to use the last of my atern to get us over there, to get past the stream. But if it’s Dweller property, I won’t be able to do that. They’ll consider it an insult, and they won’t stop until we’re dead.”
“Okay,” I said uneasily. “There sure are a lot of things in this realm who won’t stop until we’re dead.”
“Welcome to my life for the last couple of years,” he said.
“We’ll go around,” I said, pointing off into the distance. “It’ll take longer, but—”
“But nothing,” he answered. “We don’t have time, Lara. It’s a miracle we’ve gotten this far without being caught in the first place. If we slow down, we’re never going to make it. We have to go through.”
“You’re not making any sense,” I said, shaking my head again. “You just said they’d kill us if we tried to pass.”
“Right,” he nodded. “But if we ask them, if we beg them, they might grant us passage. It’s a longshot, but it’s the only one we’ve got.”
“I feel like that’s something you’ve had to say a lot in the few years that you’ve been here,” I muttered.
“You have no idea.” He walked back up to the stream and got on his knees. Sticking his hands into the water, he said, “We mean you no harm. We merely seek passage. Dwellers of the deep, masters of the darkest corners of the streams, we ask your mercy and understanding. Grant us, lonely travelers, passage along your great divide.”
He stood silent for a moment, and then looked back at me. Pulling his hands out of the water, he stood and walked back to me.
“What happened?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“I don’t know yet,” he admitted. “It takes a minute sometimes. They’ll either grant our request or they won’t.”
“That’s kind of anticlimactic, don’t you think?”
“I hope so,” Karr muttered.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked, leveling a gaze at him.
He looked back at the water, then to me again.
“Karr,” I said. “Just tell me.”
His eyes softened a bit as he stared into mine. “If they don’t accept our offer, there’s a chance they’ll…”
“A chance they’ll what, Karr?” I asked, swallowing hard again.
The ground shook beneath us. Water rumbled upward in the stream, splashing against the ground violently. A loud rumble came from earth. No, from under the earth. Suddenly, water shot up straight into the sky, cascading onto us and drenching us again.
So much for trying to keep my clothes dry.
After wiping my hand across my face so I could see, I opened my eyes only for my jaw to drop. The most horrifying creature I’d ever seen had appeared beside the stream. Taller than Karr and me put together, it lumbered over us. Translucent pale skin covered a misshapen and humpback appearance. Arms, as deformed as the rest of him, hung down so low that his wide flapper like hands dragged against the ground. Sharp teeth jutted out from a triangular mouth, which sat in the center of a bulbous inhuman head.
“You disrupted my rest,” the thing said. Its voice was so loud that it shook the earth every bit as much as the wave had. “And for that insolence, you must die.”
Chapter 26
I looked at the monstrosity as it neared us, its feet slapping heavy against the ground and its chest heaving with gurgled breaths. I stumbled backward, feeling Karr keep pace with me, though I didn’t dare look over at him.
What were we going to do? With just barely over half atern each, odds were we’d either die fighting this thing off or use enough atern in our efforts to be an easy target by time we were done. Atern wasn’t exactly intended for frequent magic fights, after all. A person’s atern was only meant to be enough to get through a couple days of bartering for small necessities.
Which
meant all we could do was try and reason with this creature. Karr had asked nicely, so he must have thought he could have at least tried to play nice with this thing. His efforts had failed, obviously, but maybe I could do better.
Reversing my backward momentum, I stepped forward.
“What are you doing?” Karr asked, grabbing my hand. “Stop.”
I pulled free of his grasp. “I got this, okay?”
In truth, I had nothing. Not so much as a freaking clue what I was walking toward or what I planned to do. As of two minutes ago, I’d never heard of these “dweller” things.
Still, I had to do something. I mean, what other option did I have? Just stand around and let it kill me? After everything I’d already been through? Hell no. We needed to get to the safe house and, what was more, we needed to find a way to take out Westman. If we couldn’t do that, we’d be as good as dead anyway. Might as well die trying.
“Hey,” I said, swallowing hard and looking at the thing. “We probably woke you, and you almost certainly have no interest in seeing us here. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be disturbed. I’ve had my entire world disturbed and torn apart, and so have you. And you probably think you’re never going to get it back.”
That last part was probably true. I was never going to be me again, and I was probably never going to see home again. That must have been what this creature was feeling and, in a strange way, it made me feel for him.
The thing paused, but only for a moment. Then it lunged at me, letting out a sound between growl and a gurgle. I leaped back but didn’t disengage.
“You did this,” the thing said, snarling.
“No.” I shook my head, trying to impart my sincerity. “Someone promised to keep you safe and then destroyed your life, and I know that person probably looked a lot like me. He was an orphan, too. He had my eyes, the same eyes. But we’re not the same. I swear.”
The creature pounced again but stopped short of landing on me, its fishy breath crawling across my face. It could have ended me right then, if it wanted to. But it hadn’t. That must have meant something… like that maybe this thing was listening.
Harvest: Faction 1: (The Isa Fae Collection) Page 13
