by HELEN HARDT
“A red rose?”
“Yeah. No note or anything. I assumed it was from him since you weren’t home.”
“Even if I had been home I wouldn’t have left you a red rose. Don’t you know what that means?”
I didn’t know what anything Talon did meant, and he wasn’t exactly the floral type. “No. Do you?”
“Jade, a red rose—a single red rose—means love. Talon loves you.”
My cell phone slipped from my hand and clattered to the floor, my heart pounding.
“…where he got a rose?” Marj was saying when I got the phone back to my ear.
“Sorry, what?” My hands shook.
“I’m wondering where he got a rose. We don’t grow roses anywhere on the ranch.”
I was still stuck on the “Talon loves you.” Sweat coated my palms. I stayed silent.
Finally, Marj went on. “I want you to come back. Come back tomorrow morning, okay?”
“I can’t,” I said, still trembling.
“Why the hell not? This is my house too, goddamnit.”
I still hadn’t quit my job at the Snow Creek city attorney’s office. I had planned to call my boss, Larry Wade, on Monday. Tomorrow was Sunday. Going back to Snow Creek would keep me from having to find a new job in the city. Plus, I could use all the investigative tools at the city attorney’s office to do some sleuthing of my own. But I couldn’t go back and live in Marj’s house, not with Talon right down the hall. Whatever the rose meant, it didn’t mean he loved me. He didn’t want me there, and I couldn’t do that to myself. Constantly seeing him, wanting him—it would be easier to rip my heart out of my chest with my bare hands.
“Do you know where I could rent an apartment in town?”
“You’re not renting an apartment in town. You’re staying with me.”
“I can’t, Marj. Seeing Talon would be too difficult, and he doesn’t want me there.”
Marj gritted her teeth. Yeah, I couldn’t see her, but I knew she was doing it.
“All right. We’ll get you set up at the hotel tomorrow. You can stay there for a few nights until we can arrange for an apartment for you.”
“I…” God, why was this so complicated? “I can’t come back tomorrow. I used up all my cash for the cab fare to get here.”
“Cash? You’re really worried about cash? I’ll pay your fare, for God’s sake.”
“You’ve already done too much.”
“No, I haven’t done enough. My best friend in the entire world kept a serious secret from me. Obviously I haven’t been a very good friend.”
“Marj, you’re the best friend ever. You know that.”
She sniffled into the phone.
“Oh, God, please don’t cry.”
“I’m okay. Please, just let me pay for your cab fare. I’ll help you out with the hotel until we can find you a nice place to live that you can afford. Okay? Please?”
“No. I wasn’t thinking. A cab here in the city will take a credit card. I’ll be fine.” I drew in a deep breath.
I was going back to Snow Creek.
Chapter Three
Talon
Ryan’s mouth fell into an O as he poured himself another glass of wine. He stopped just before it overflowed. “What?”
“You heard me, bro.”
“You’re in love with Jade?”
I let out a chuckle. “I am. I mean, I was pretty sure I was, but I’m not sure I knew it for a fact until just now.”
“That’s great. She’s awesome. Really smart, too. She caught on at the winery right away.”
Hell, yes, she was awesome and really smart. More importantly, she was giving and caring. And of course, smoking hot. Basically, she was perfect.
“Great? You can’t be serious.”
“Of course I’m serious. But let me ask you this. If you’re in love with her, why in the hell did you ask her to leave?”
“Because, Ryan, you and I both know I have no business loving anyone. Why would she want to be saddled with the mess that is my life?”
“Your life doesn’t have to be a mess, Tal. You can get help.”
“The last time I tried to get help, I ended up at the ER.”
“So? No one ever said this was going to be easy.”
“Easy? Aren’t I due for some easy at this point? My life has been anything but.”
My brother placed his hand on my forearm. We brothers hardly ever touched each other, and though I knew it was for comfort, it only made me uncomfortable.
“I know you haven’t had it easy.”
“You know. But you don’t really know.” I downed another gulp of my whiskey. Good stuff.
“No, I don’t,” my brother said solemnly. “Neither Joe nor I have ever claimed to know exactly what you went through. And you’ve never really opened up about it.”
“Would you have opened up about it, if it had happened to you?”
Ryan shook his head. “Talon, I sure don’t know. I’d like to think I would’ve gotten some help.”
I thumped my fist on the bar, making both of our classes rattle. “You have no idea what you would do.”
“Look, I didn’t mean to hit a nerve.”
No, my brothers never meant to hit a nerve. But they did sometimes. And it wasn’t their fault.
“I’m…sorry,” I said.
I hated those two words, and usually they had to be pulled kicking and screaming from my lips. They came a bit easier this time. In fact, they had been coming easier and easier since I’d met Jade.
“It’s okay, bro. No worries.”
I finished my second whiskey. “I’ve got to get going.”
“Oh, no, you don’t. You know, Joe mentioned that Jade was getting under your skin somehow. I can see she got under further than either he or I could ever imagine.”
I cleared my throat. More even than I could’ve ever imagined.
“I’m going to call Joe. I want him to come over, and the three of us can talk.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I can do it.”
“Look, you came over here. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times you’ve gone out of your way to come see me. Which makes me think this is something serious. Let me ask you, Tal. Are you ready to go back to the doc?”
I’d seen a psychologist, Dr. Melanie Carmichael, one time. Twenty-five years had gone by before I’d taken that initiative. Twenty-five years… Why had I done it? For Jade, of course. “Nothing really matters anymore,” I said. “Jade is gone.”
“You can ask her to come back.”
I clenched my jaw. “I can’t.”
“I don’t get it. Did she rebuff you or something?”
“No.”
“So she doesn’t know you’re in love with her?”
“No,” I said again.
“Don’t you think you should tell her?”
For the third time, I said, “No.”
Ryan rubbed his chin. “Is there any chance she might return your feelings?”
How I dreamed of it. Part of me wanted nothing more than the white picket fence and Jade at home, her belly swelling with my child. But any chance of a normal life for me had been erased from my existence twenty-five years ago. Did she return my feelings? How could she? I was a fucked-up mess.
“I doubt it.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Well, for one, I kicked her out of my house.”
Ryan nodded. “Yeah, there’s that.”
“And you know me, Ry. I’m a mess. She deserves…better. Hell, she deserves the best.”
“Talon, you are the best.”
I couldn’t help a loud scoff. “Don’t even go there with me. I am the best of nothing.”
“I disagree. You’re the best brother I could have.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m serious. You saved me that day. How many other people would’ve done that? You could have easily been the one to get away. You were bigger and stronger. But you stayed th
ere, kicking and screaming, getting them off me so I could get away.” Ryan shook his head. “I wish there were a way to thank you for that. Some way to let you know just how grateful I am that you’re my brother.”
I squirmed in my chair like a little kid, belying my thirty-five years. This wasn’t the first time Ryan had gone all sappy on me. Truth was, all it did was make me wish I were listening to fingernails on a chalkboard.
“You would have done the same for me.”
“But I didn’t. I got away. I could’ve stayed and helped you fight them off.”
“For God’s sake, Ryan, you were seven years old. They were three grown men. We were lucky one of us got away. They could’ve easily overtaken both of us.”
“My point is, you didn’t have to be thinking about me. We were both just kids. Most other kids would have just thought about saving themselves, but not you. You thought of me first.”
Ryan liked to make me out to be some kind of hero, but a hero was so far from what I was. The first day I met Jade, she called me a hero because I’d served in the military. I told her the same thing I told Ryan now. “I’m no hero.”
“You are to me, bro.”
I squirmed again. Could this get any more awkward? Thankfully, my thoughts were interrupted by a pounding on the door.
Ryan stood. “Who in the hell could that be on a Saturday night?”
The door clicked open. “Is Talon here?”
My sister’s voice. Shit.
A few seconds later, Marj stormed into the family room. “So there you are. It might interest you to know that I just finished an hour-long conversation with Jade. How could you be so cruel?”
My sister, being ten years younger than I, didn’t know anything about those horrific events twenty-five years ago. My mother had been pregnant with her at the time.
“What did she say?”
“Nothing I care to repeat. But she’s coming back tomorrow.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up a hand.
“Don’t bother. She will not come back to the house. Oh, I wanted her to, but she refused. Because of you, apparently. She’s going to stay in the hotel in town until she can find a nice apartment.”
Emotions thick as syrup gushed through me. I was being pulled two ways. Joy that Jade would be returning warred with the iron-clawed horror of my past that would ultimately come between us. Relief that she wouldn’t be at the house, a constant temptation for me, brawled with heart-wrenching anguish that she would not be where I could see her every day.
My sister was still running off at the mouth. “If you ever come between my best friend and me again, Talon, I swear to God I will never speak to you again.” She turned to face Ryan. “And you either.”
“Hey, what did I do?” Ryan asked.
“The two of you and Joe are hiding something. My guess is Jade stumbled upon it, or maybe we both did when we found those documents the other night. Whatever it is you’re trying to keep from me, I will find it. Do not underestimate me.” Marjorie turned with a huff and walked out of the family room.
Ryan pursed his lips. “I really don’t like where this is headed, bro.”
I threaded my fingers through my dark hair. Neither did I.
Chapter Four
Jade
“It’s not the Ritz, but it’s better than the place I stayed last night.”
Marjorie looked at me, her eyes wide. “Where did you stay last night? Or do I want to know?”
“Some little fleabag called Crazy Hearts Motel.”
Marj shook her head. “Oh, Jade, that is the worst. They rent rooms by the hour there, and I’ve heard they have a bedbug problem.”
Crap. Now I was itching all over. Psychosomatic. Had to be. “I’m trying to save for a down payment on a car, Marj.”
Marj wrapped her arms around me. “As long as I am on this earth, you never have to stay in a place like that. You read me?”
“You know I hate taking advantage of people.”
“You are my best friend in the whole world. I want you to take advantage of me. What’s mine is yours.”
I smiled, my eyes dewing up a bit. Marjorie truly was the best friend in the world. Even though she was a spoiled prima donna in some ways, she was one of the most giving people I knew. I had no doubt she’d give me the shirt off her back if I needed it. I sat down on the queen-size bed in the modest room of the Snow Creek Inn. I could deal with this for a couple days until I found an apartment.
Marj sat down beside me. “Well, it’s Sunday, and as you know, nothing’s open in a small town. First thing tomorrow, you and I go apartment hunting.”
I laughed. “First thing tomorrow, I have to go to work. I never actually got the chance to quit my job, and now I’m glad I didn’t.”
Marj give me a friendly punch in the arm. “Touché. Then tomorrow morning, I will start apartment hunting for you.”
Yes, Marj was a giving person. However, I wasn’t sure that her idea of a suitable apartment for me would match my own. She’d no doubt find someone luxurious place I couldn’t afford. “That would be really nice if you did that. It will certainly save me a lot of time. But you know I can only afford the bare minimum. I need to save for a car and my student loan payments start next month.” I shuddered to think of the large payment that would be sucked from my checking account.
“All of this would be a moot point if you would come back to the house.”
I vehemently shook my head. “I can’t.”
“But you can, Jade. If you’re truly in love with my brother, you need to talk to him and work this out.”
“It can’t be worked out. He was upfront with me. He told me he could never love me, and I believed it when he said it. I have no reason to assume that has changed.”
“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Talon may be quiet, and he may have some struggles in his life, but he’s as capable of love as anyone is. He’s a wonderful brother, and he would do anything for me or Ryan or Joe. I know. He has a lot of love to give, Jade. Don’t give up on him.” She squeezed my hand. “Plus, I would love to have you as a sister-in-law.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “That will never happen.”
“Never say never.”
But I did mean never. “Marj, something is eating Talon. I mean that seriously. Something is constantly gnawing at him, poisoning him. I don’t know what it is, and even if I asked him about it, he would clam up like he always does. Until he can face what’s eating him alive, he can’t love me. He’s incapable of it. He was telling me the truth when he told me he wouldn’t love me. I went into it knowing. I just didn’t expect to fall in love with him.”
“I don’t think Talon’s ever had a girlfriend,” Marj said. “Even back in high school. I remember Joe and Ryan dating, but I never remember Talon bringing a girl home. I was just a kid, around five, so I could easily have missed it.” She cleared her throat. “And I know he has women in the city.”
There went the dagger into my heart again. I knew about Talon’s tarts in the city. He’d made that pretty clear when he told me how he had his blood tested every six months for STDs and always used condoms. That was one sexually active person. Why else would he be so obsessive-compulsive about getting his blood tested so often?
I bit my lip.
“I’m sorry,” Marj said. “I didn’t think about how hard it would be for you to hear that.”
I shook my head. “It’s not news to me, believe me. He was upfront with me about how he views women. He takes what is offered and then leaves. I knew that when I went into it, as I said. I shouldn’t be surprised by any of this. I had just hoped…”
“What? That you could save him?”
A tear trickled down my cheek as I nodded.
“Oh, Jade. I’m so sorry. But you know as well as I do that no one can save Talon except for Talon.”
Is that what I had wanted? To be the savior of Talon Steel?
For the first time, I admit
ted it to myself. Yes. I had wanted to save him. Whatever was eating him up inside, I wanted to be the one to free him from it.
And I had failed.
I turned into Marjorie’s shoulder and cried.
Larry called me into his office as soon as I got in the next morning. He sat at his desk, blond and balding as ever, wearing a navy blue blazer that looked too tight across the shoulders. I took a seat across from him.
“Are you doing okay today, Jade?” he asked. “Your eyes are a little red.”
I cleared my throat. Since I had cried half the night, my eyes looked like hell. “I’m fine. I had an allergy attack this morning, but I took an antihistamine, so I’ll be fine soon.”
“An antihistamine?”
“Don’t worry, the non-drowsy kind.”
“Good, good. I have a new assignment I want you to work on. I need some heavy-duty investigation.”
New assignment? Sounded great to me. Anything to get my mind off my troubles. “Happy to help. What do you need?”
“I need you to dig up whatever information you can find on the Steel family.”
I jerked in my chair but caught myself. So much for getting my mind off my troubles. “The Steel family? You mean Marjorie and her brothers?”
Larry nodded and took a sip of coffee. “Yes.”
“May I ask what case this is for?”
“You may ask, but I can’t give you an answer. It’s classified.”
Classified, indeed. I knew well enough that Larry’s ethics were bendable. He wanted information on the Steels for some reason, and I would bet it had nothing to do with any current case. He’d mentioned when I first started my job that he’d known the Steels since they were kids. Something niggled at the back of my neck. Larry was up to no good.
After Larry had insisted, despite my myriad conflicts of interest, that I work on the case against Talon when my ex-fiancé had him arrested for assault and battery, I knew his ethics were practically nonexistent. I hadn’t squawked too much about taking Talon’s case because I’d wanted to make sure he was treated fairly and didn’t have to do any prison time. I’d worked him a pretty sweet deal, but I’d made myself a promise as well. Never again would I compromise my ethics for this job or any other.
