by Lorenz Font
Blake worked on removing his shirt and vest while he spoke. “From the beginning. How did Jennifer end up back at my house?”
Sam walked to the sink and lathered up. “You sound like you regret asking me to pick her up.” He glanced over his shoulder at Blake.
Surprised, Blake tried to jog his memory, but couldn’t recall making any such request. “I remember bits and pieces after I started drinking.” He gritted his teeth while shifting his body to a comfortable position on the therapy table.
Sam went to work right away on his shoulders, massaging the tender skin and the tight muscles underneath. “Well … you drank like a fish to begin with. No matter what I said, you kept ordering one after the other, so I became the designated driver and a part-time psychologist.”
“Keep talking.”
“You went on stage and gave the crowd a little show.”
“What?”
“Yep. Man, you’re good. You should consider doing it for a living.”
Stunned, he turned and stared at Sam. He knew he should have kept his big mouth shut about the music. “I have a job,” he retorted.
Wha—a job. Really?
Sam snorted and moved on, working on rotating Blake’s arm.
“Then what?”
“You were yapping about Jennifer leaving because you couldn’t keep your temper in check. You kept repeating that she’s your responsibility.” Sam walked away only to return a few minutes later with a silicone gel and continued where he’d left off. “You were harping about looking for her everywhere, and how you wouldn’t forgive yourself if anything happened to her.”
He didn’t have to be drunk to be certain that he’d never have forgiven himself for driving her away.
“So when she called and asked to be picked up, you crawled out of the bar to get to her.” Sam chuckled. “We picked her up from her house, all scared and tearful, then she sat in the backseat with you. It is obvious that the woman cares about you, bro.”
He turned and glared at his friend. “Nah.” He chalked it up to pity and an honest-to-goodness instinct to mother. That was inherent to women, and he hated it.
“When we got to your place, she refused to let you sleep by yourself. She was concerned you might need help.”
Again, Blake refused to believe that Jennifer felt more than just an innate sense to nurture.
“Then you kept repeating that she’s beautiful and …”
When his buddy paused, Blake looked up. “And?”
“You said you’re in love with her,” Sam said.
Heaven help me.
Blake pinned his friend with a hostile glare.
Sam shrugged. “You wanted the truth. I’m giving it to you.”
Blake wanted to dispute Sam’s claim, but how could he? He couldn’t remember, so he kept his mouth shut for the duration of the therapy.
He drove home in a quiet daze and tried to sort through the load of emotions that hit from every direction. Had he really proclaimed his feelings out loud?
Damn the alcohol and damn me for slipping.
As Blake approached his house, he noticed his parents’ car parked outside. He parked, eased out, and took a deep breath before he opened the front door to let himself in. It would take a lot to keep his emotions hidden, but he’d damn well keep trying.
He plastered on a fake smile and was about to sing a greeting when he heard her on the phone.
“Oh, Matt, I miss you, too. I’m sorry I didn’t return your call. Sure, you can come and visit me,” Jennifer said, sounding happy.
Too damn happy.
He muttered an oath and marched straight to the spare room.
Chapter 17
From the corner of her eye, Jennifer saw Blake streak by. She had been so caught up with the good news that she had missed his arrival. Matt’s announcement meant her world was about to change, and she would soon be living her dream.
She bid Matt adieu and placed her cell phone on the coffee table, deliberating how to approach Blake. She had read a few articles about the pain and suffering of burn victims, and how therapy, no matter how helpful, could be physically taxing. Although Blake hadn’t shown any indication that he’d been suffering, she wasn’t fooled. He was trained to suffer in silence and to keep his emotions in check. She had gathered that much from Trent, and with Blake being a proud man, she surmised that this was all a brave front.
With the aid of the crutches, she moved gingerly across the hallway until she reached the guest room door, and knocked.
“Go away,” he shouted above the blaring noise that was AC/DC.
Jennifer glared at the door and turned around to go the kitchen. “Your parents are here, in case you didn’t know.” She was prepping an excuse for Blake when she heard him walking down the hallway dragging his feet.
Jennifer heard Claire humming a tune as she got closer.
She looked up from the stove when she saw Jennifer. “Is he home?”
“Yes …”
Claire’s smile broadened the moment Blake made an appearance. “I made your favorite.”
“Hi, Mom.” Blake walked past Jennifer and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. “It smells wonderful. Where’s Pops?”
“He’s on the patio. I also brought some homemade carrot cake.”
“Awesome.”
Jennifer detected the forced enthusiasm. If Claire noticed her son’s withdrawn behavior, she didn’t show any indication.
Blake made his way to the patio and flopped on the lounger next to his father.
Jennifer turned her attention back to Claire. “Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked.
“Stay off your feet before Blake jumps on us both.” Claire grinned and winked. “Sit and just keep me company.”
For the next few minutes, Claire kept up a steady chatter about the charities she was involved in, while Jennifer attempted to keep up. She caught herself glancing at Blake every now and then. He seemed relaxed with his dad, and she could see him throwing back his head in laughter a few times.
Lunch was delicious and for the next hour, the four of them settled on topics about local politics and market trend. Safe topics. Blake seemed more relaxed with each passing minute and Jennifer found herself offering a few of her own insights.
After the dishes were cleared, she excused herself from the group to give them a chance to talk as a family in private.
She must’ve dozed off after the satisfying lunch because the house was quiet when she finally woke up. She hated that she’d missed saying goodbye to Blake’s parents, but it had been an overwhelming day, to say the least.
She stretched before getting up, and found a note on the coffee table with her name on it. Inside, Claire had apologized for not saying goodbye and promised to call again. Smiling, Jennifer reached for her crutches and made her way down the hall to check on Blake.
She knocked on the door once. When there was no response, she knocked again. “Blake?”
“Go away.”
“You said that earlier. What’s wrong with you?” she asked, feeling her temper rise. She turned the knob and found him sprawled on the couch, his arm covering his face. Her annoyance was forgotten and replaced by worry. She hobbled closer and sat on the edge of the couch, dropping the crutches on the floor. “Blake, is everything okay?”
“Didn’t you hear what I said?”
“Are you in pain? Can I do something?” She placed a hand on top of his and lifted it off his face. When their eyes met, she saw a mixture of pain and defiance in his.
“No, I’m fine. Just tired.”
Bullshit.
Proud Blake wouldn’t ever admit to such triviality, plus she saw something else from his expression. It was akin to resignation. Confused, she traced her fingers along the side of his cheek in a light caress.
“Tell me what’s bothering you.”
She expected rejection the moment she touched his face, but to her amazement, he didn’t pull away. Instead, he leaned into her to
uch and closed his eyes.
“There are things that I have to accept. One of them is the situation I’m in,” he said.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, not quite sure what his cryptic reply meant.
He pounded his fist on the couch. “Nothing. It’s none of your business.” He opened his eye and glowered at her.
She flinched, and just like that, the tender moment was gone. Her eyes burned and she turned her face away, blinking back the tears, not wanting him to see how his words had affected her.
Blake tugged at her hand, his tone softening. “Jennifer, c’mon. I didn’t mean it. I’m just tired. The therapy zapped my energy and—”
“Will you tell me if something’s wrong?” she asked, returning her gaze to him.
“Yes. I promise. Now tell me what you’ve been doing while I was away.”
Jennifer sighed, not happy with the abrupt change of subject, but she wanted to share her piece of good news with him. “I got a call from my agent and a big name store wants to buy my designs.”
Blake sat up, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her head against his chest. “That is wonderful news!” He kissed her hair.
“In fact, he is coming tomorrow to bring the contract for my signature.” Even without seeing his face, she felt his body stiffen and his heartbeat pound against her ear as if it might explode.
“Is that who you were talking to? That Matt guy you’re missing?”
He sounded almost jealous, and the thought made her heart race. She decided to bait him and see where it led. “Actually, yes. Is there something wrong with inviting him over?”
Thick silence answered her. Just when she’d given up on getting any response out of him, he touched her chin and tilted her head up until they were looking into each other’s eyes.
“I don’t trust any man close to you.”
Her heart fluttered. For the first time in her life, Jennifer felt love pouring out of her as it was meant to be. It had been so different with Trent. She had loved him, but not this way. Her gratitude and the comfort of their friendship had led her to accept his marriage proposal. With Blake, she operated on her body’s response to his touches, on the overwhelming longing in her heart to be loved by him.
“Do you trust you to be close to me?” She turned her body until she was facing him and leaned forward to rest her forehead on his.
“Jennifer …”
Not allowing time to think, she captured his mouth for a kiss. She might regret it later, but it felt right and oh, so nice. The melding of their mouths was soft and tender, and she pressed her body closer.
Blake wound his arms around her waist and deepened their kiss. The warmth of his mouth excited her but the heat radiating from his body made her shudder.
Her bubble burst when Blake stiffened and pushed her away.
He stood, shaking his head. “This is wrong. I’m taking advantage of you. I can’t do this. Not like this, and not with Trent in between us.” Blake moved to the window and stared outside, his shoulders drawn tight beneath the light cotton, long-sleeve shirt.
“Trent’s gone, and we will continue loving him, but I’m not sure what to make of this … thing between us.”
“What do you think is going on between us, Jennifer?”
She flinched at his nonchalant tone, but he had a point.
What exactly is going on?
He hadn’t really verbalized any feelings for her, but his actions betrayed all the times he tried to push her away.
She looked down at her hands knotted on her lap. “I don’t know. It seems like you want me at times, but—”
“I haven’t been with anybody for a while now. Having a desirable woman in my house is a difficult temptation to avoid.”
His response and the memory of what had happened between them the other night made her feel cheap—a one night stand that he couldn’t even discuss. He made it sound as though this was all physical between them.
Jennifer squared her shoulders and jutted her chin. “This is more than desire and temptation. This is deeper than that, and you know it. You’re just stubborn and hiding behind Trent’s shadow to avoid addressing it.”
Blake’s eye flickered then he gave a cold smile. “You can think anything you want. There’s nothing between us. If you think a couple of little kisses are going to change me, you’re mistaken. Trent is very much in this room, and everywhere I go. I see him every time I look at you, and I’d never allow myself to love you.”
His words stung and the rejection rang in her ears.
Am I that bad?
“You’re lying,” she blurted. Emptiness ravaged within her despite her efforts to keep from letting his heartless proclamation rip her apart.
“I never lie about love, Jennifer.”
He walked quietly out of the room, and before long, she heard the rumble of his Jeep as he pulled out of the driveway.
Left in tears, she grappled with disappointment and hurt. He had made it clear that she had been nothing more than a mere distraction, a body good for a minute of enjoyment. Despite the devastation she felt now, she would forever cherish the memory of their brief time together. She had bared her feelings to him, letting him see her vulnerability by admitting how she felt, and he had turned her away.
If Blake was only taking care of her because of some misplaced sense of honor then he could flush his intentions down the toilet. She was far too proud to take someone’s pity and be a burden. She would stick to their deal, and then she’d be out of his life.
“Back again? You look like shit,” Sam said as Blake stepped through the doors again.
If I’d had any other place to go …
Being here made him feel too raw and too transparent because Sam always saw right through him.
“Shut it. I’m not in the mood.” Blake flopped down in the chair.
Sam chuckled. “When are you ever?”
It was the truth. When had the clouds ever lifted? He was fast becoming his own worst enemy. He refused to give in to his feelings because he was scared of sharing the secret he’d kept for so long. That’s why he’d doomed Katrina. She’d always known that his heart had belonged to someone else.
Sam pointed to the door on the far left. “Take the next room. It’s vacant.”
Blake shrugged.
At least Sam wasn’t grilling him. He needed a place to hide and work through this. He’d made an ass of himself once more and insulted Jennifer in the process.
Not bothering to turn the lights on, he collapsed in the chair and closed his eyes.
November 20, 2000
Blake had been on a training mission with his unit in Africa, along with another group of Special Forces, when luck smiled on them in the form of clearance to return home until their next deployment. Great news, considering it meant they got the tail end of summer in the States, and the chance of Blake catching some good waves was still possible.
His first call should have been to his parents, but Blake had needs not even his staunchest supporters could satisfy.
Instead, fresh off the fifteen-hour flight from Sierra Leone, Blake waited for Katrina to answer.
The mounting stress relating to his job had been eating at him, and Trent’s constant chatter about Jennifer was grating on his last nerve.
Sure, the woman was a perfect sight to behold, and one of those rare gems no one would want to part with, but Trent’s nonstop worshipping had driven Blake to madness. The only way he knew to combat it was to find release.
“Hey, you’re back?” Katrina sounded ecstatic.
Great start to my plans for the evening.
“Yeah. Are you free tonight?” he asked, not wasting time on pleasantries.
“Sure. My place or yours?”
“Your place at seven. I’ll bring dinner and a bottle of wine.”
As the sound of calming ocean waves accompanied them during their candlelit dinner, Blake felt a burst of energy and anticipated good things ahead. The braise
d lamb he’d ordered was cooked to perfection, and the cabernet complemented their meal and set the right mood.
Considering his motives, Blake liked to think that this showed he was still treating Katrina with respect.
“This is wonderful.” Katrina took a sip from her glass and closed her eyes in contentment.
“It sure is,” he answered, patting his belly. Nothing beat a great sit down dinner with an old friend.
“Another toast?” Katrina poised her glass in the air and waited for him to raise his. “Here’s to you, for coming back home to me in one piece.”
Blake cringed at the expressed sentiments, but put up a halfhearted smile. “Thanks.” He clinked his glass to hers and downed the contents in silence. An image of Jennifer flashed through his mind, and he fought not to choke as the last swallow went down the wrong pipe.
Katrina walked over to him and hesitated. “Can I?” She gestured to his lap. When he cleared his throat and patted his thigh, she sat and wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered.
Blake couldn’t think of an answer over the primal hunger clouding his head.
The mood was perfect and the ambience couldn’t have been any better with the beach only a few steps away. It was why he’d chosen her place over his. The sound of the ocean had always been his refuge with its calming effects.
“I have something for you.” He fished inside his pocket, retrieved a little purple bag, and handed it to her.
“You got me a gift?” Katrina’s blue eyes were wide, and Blake felt like an idiot.
Of course, the woman had expectations, and he was a big tease to dangle the possibility in her face.
She released his neck and sat down in the next chair. Excitement radiated from her as she loosened the cord on the velvet pouch, sneaking little glances in his direction.
“It’s a necklace,” he said, stopping any thoughts she might be entertaining of an engagement ring. He saw her disappointment quickly replaced by a forced smile.
“This is beautiful.” She inspected the intricate details, running her fingers on the beads. “What is it made of?”
Blake leaned forward and took the jewelry from her.
