by Lorenz Font
He placed the envelope on the coffee table and looked up. “I think I’m ready for the official business.”
“All right. I’m here to offer you a job. Again …”
Blake stared at the older man, stunned and unable to form a coherent answer. Just when he thought he’d lost his chance. He coughed and then cleared his throat. “A job?”
“I received word that you have taken steps to rejoin the living.” Lance laughed.
“What do you mean?”
“I keep tabs on my men. I want to see which among them, after life-altering changes, would bounce back fast. I heard from your eye doctor and received the full report from Sam Sweeney.”
Blake clenched his jaw and held his breath as his head spun out of control with all the what ifs.
“The job deals with training new recruits. I’ll give you six months to get back in shape. When I say shape, I mean tip-top, and I want you tight up here.” Lance pointed to his temple. “After that, I want you to report for briefing before you’re given the exact nature of your assignment.”
Unable to believe what he was hearing, Blake remained silent while he tried to digest the information. This was the first step he needed to take charge, instead of playing victim all the time.
“This doesn’t put you on active duty, considering the beating you received out there, but it’s just as good as. Unless you wanted a desk job instead?” The man waggled his bushy eyebrows.
“No, sir,” he replied. In truth, this went beyond anything he’d expected after all that had happened. He had been longing for the familiar scent of exhilaration, the prospect of planning, and an active role in getting things done.
Lance’s eyes softened. “Is that a yes?”
Blake nodded several times, not trusting himself to say the words right away. His eyes began to moisten and that was the last thing he wanted his superior to see.
Lance stood up and walked over to place a hand on Blake’s shoulder. “Then we got ourselves a deal. Remember, six months. No more, no less. I want you to show the eager boys what we’re all about.”
Blake stood up and offered his hand. “Thank you for the opportunity to serve again.” His voice was raw with emotions he couldn’t seem to control.
“No thanks necessary.” The colonel shook his hand. “I’ll stay in touch.”
After Lance had left, Blake hurried to let Drew in. “Good news, boy. It looks like I have a job again.”
Drew wagged his tail as if he understood Blake’s happiness.
He patted the dog’s head and gave him his favorite pig ear treat, then he returned to the living room.
Not knowing what to expect, he opened the envelope and unfolded the letter on the familiar yellow-lined notepaper that his friend had used whenever he wrote his letters to Jennifer.
December 10, 2001
Bro,
I have no idea why I’m writing this, but I’ve had a bad feeling lately. I hate to sound morbid, but it feels like something’s coming, and I want to take this time to clear the air between us concerning the last conversation we had about Jennifer.
I’m scared I won’t make her happy because I can’t be the husband I wanted to be. Hell, I know I’m wussing out. I see it happening, but it’ll only get worse if I marry her. My Jennifer would understand, I know that, because she’s compassionate and tenderhearted, but I couldn’t live with myself. So I’m cutting my losses now.
You may not understand it, but I hope you will in time. It’s like that old saying—the one about loving someone so much that you let them go. If it’s meant to be, they come back. If not …
You’re not the only sensitive one on the team, bud. I sit and observe, too, and as your brother, I know what’s in your heart, even if you refuse to admit it.
I know how you feel about Jennifer. How you really feel. And I want you to be happy just as much as I do her. No one deserves her love more than you. Cherish her, brother, like she should be cherished.
I need you to know I’m okay with this, Blake, whatever happens. I know it’s right, and you are right for her.
Take good care of each other.
Trent
Fighting tears made it difficult to breathe as he stared at the letter Trent had written two days before he died. Blake wasn’t one to believe in omens, sixth sense, signs, and all that bullshit, but the timing of all this made the hair on the back of his neck rise.
He read the letter once more before tucking it safely away. Today, everything had fallen into place. One opportunity after another had arrived on his doorstep, and he’d be an idiot not to grab hold of every chance he had and to go after the woman who completed him.
Blake sat in the posh reception area of one of the best real estate agents he knew. He looked around the luxurious office while several people walked in and out, surreptitiously giving him a curious glance. He smoothed his white long-sleeve shirt and closed his eyes. At Sam’s insistence, he had shed the beanie that had become his security blanket from the prying stares.
The new Blake was taking a lot of getting used to, but he wasn’t complaining. This was part of the process. Getting better was the goal. This appointment was made to serve two purposes, and he couldn’t wait to take care of this unfinished business.
“Mr. Connor?”
He looked up at the receptionist and nodded.
“Ms. Hill is ready for you.”
He stood up and followed the woman into a hallway lined with plush beige carpeting until they reached a mahogany door at the end.
She tapped the door before opening it.
The woman behind the desk was just as he remembered her—beautiful, sharp-looking, with vibrant blue eyes. Time had been kind to her.
“Blake,” she said, after the receptionist had left. “It’s been a while.”
“Yes …” He sat down on the chair she gestured at and made himself comfortable.
“You look different.” Her surprised reaction wasn’t unexpected. Katrina had seen him at his worst.
Not used to the attention, he raked his hand through his hair. “It’s the new and improved Blake, I guess.”
She smiled before getting down to business. “To what do I owe this surprise visit?”
“Katrina, I want to apologize for the way things ended between us. I—”
“You saved us from making a big mistake.”
He watched her for any hint of resentment, or even anger, but he found none.
She returned his gaze and shrugged. “True, I was hurt in the beginning, and I tried to get back at you by going out with Dwight. But, looking back on it, it was meant to be. I’m happily married.”
Relief washed over him. “But you’re still using your maiden name?”
“Familiarity is important in this field. Clients are used to my name, so Dwight and I decided it was best to keep it.” She twirled a strand of hair around her finger just like she had done so many times in the past.
“Well, I’m glad you’re happy.”
“And you? How are you?”
He gave her a wistful smile. “I’m all right.” He rested his arms on the desk in an effort to keep from wringing his hands together.
She smiled. “I’m sure you can do better than that.”
He took a deep breath, hating to sound like the pathetic soul that he was. “I’m in love with this woman.”
“It’s Trent’s girl, isn’t it?” There was no malice in Katrina’s tone, just an honest-to-goodness question that deserved a straight answer.
“Yes.”
“I’ve always known, but you never had the courage to admit it to yourself.”
“You knew all along?”
Katrina nodded. “I knew I was fooling myself that you would learn to love me back.” She rolled her eyes and changed the subject. “We’ve known each other long enough for me to recognize that look. What’s troubling you?”
“I want you to help me find something. This is my silly attempt at being romantic.”
Katrina
leaned forward and placed a hand on top of his. “I’m all ears.”
Chapter 25
One month later …
Jennifer said a quick goodbye to Coleen and her husband. She got in her car and headed north for the two-hour drive back to LA. It had been a magical weekend filled with family love, warmth, and laughter. Although Coleen tried her best to include Jennifer by filling her in on private jokes and gossip, she had still felt like an outsider. Seeing Coleen’s bond with John and their family and friends made her heart ache at the thought of not having it all as well, of her child growing up without a father.
Jennifer shook her head, dispelling the melancholy, and concentrated on the road. The drive was pleasant from San Diego County, with fewer cars than usual clogging up the interstate.
As she drew closer to the city, the glittering skyscrapers loomed ahead. The life in the city had its ups and downs. Still a small town girl at heart, the snarling traffic and busy noise of the downtown area had proven to be problematic and overwhelming. The good thing about living in a busy metropolis was the proximity to restaurants and all other establishments. It didn’t hurt that she felt safe and comfortable in her loft, which was a relief considering her work hours were as unpredictable as the weather.
She had enjoyed the weekend away but she was ready for her time alone. Flicking the garage door opener, she waited until it was clear to proceed. She took the winding trail of pavement to the tenth level and slammed on her brakes.
Jennifer held her breath upon seeing a familiar brown Jeep parked in the space next to her designated spot. Easing off the brake pedal and into her assigned space, she watched as a figure emerged from the vehicle. Her heart pounded against her chest, and she found it impossible to think.
She might not have recognized Blake if not for the familiar smirk as he leaned against his Jeep, arms crossed, and watching her like a hawk.
She gripped the steering wheel, vacillating between backing out of the parking deck and staying.
Well, at least he can’t throw me out of my own place.
Jennifer braced her shoulders and took deep calming breaths.
How had he known where she lived and the time she was coming back? The answer to the former had to be Sam. Jennifer needed to have a word with him at her soonest convenience.
She slid out of her compact car, ready for a war of words.
Blake raked his eyes over her figure, his brows furrowing.
If he could stand there and study her like a science experiment, she could do the same.
She took her sweet time assessing the man who haunted her dreams.
What’s different? He is not wearing his beanie and—oh my God. His new eye!
“Where have you been? Don’t you know people are worried about you?” he asked in the usual authoritative tone he’d used so often.
Jennifer smiled sweetly as though his presence had no effect on her. She smoothed her white linen pants and her ivory blouse that showed her suntanned skin. She knew she looked good, even if her heart was ramming harder against her ribs with each passing second. “I don’t answer to anyone.”
Blake scowled and she walked past him to the loft entrance.
She heard his footsteps as he trailed after her.
“Aren’t you even going to say hello?” he asked.
She threw a glare at him over her shoulder and noticed his hair was cut in a neat style that showed his face and the scars. “Not if you’re going to talk to me that way.” She kept walking. When she reached her door, she stopped and turned around. “I invite friends in but you don’t fit the category.”
She watched as Blake’s eyebrows lifted and his lips thinned then he exhaled. “Hello, Jennifer Owens. I’m Blake Connor. It’s nice to meet you. Where the hell have you been?”
Jennifer shook her head and decided to push back. “What’s it to you?” She turned and inserted the key with fumbling fingers, hating Blake’s effect on her.
Damn it, door! Open … now!
The door finally cooperated and she opened it just enough to let herself in, but Blake wedged his foot against it, preventing her from closing it in his face.
“It would have been nice if you let someone know.”
That does it!
She huffed, let go of the door, and stomped into the living room. “Who should I call? In case you missed the memo, everyone I know is dead!” She threw her purse on the coffee table and marched straight to the big picture window, hoping the city landscape would calm her nerves.
“You could have called me. I was worried about you. I’ve been camped in my Jeep the entire weekend. If not for your nice neighbor, I would have been waiting out on the street.”
“You don’t have to worry about me.” She turned in time to catch him walking toward her, his gait predatory, but his expression had remarkably softened.
“But I am worried about you.”
Oh, no, not the charm. No, sir.
She took a step back, then another and another, until her back hit the window. “You could’ve fooled me. You’re just upset because you don’t have anyone to order around.”
Blake stopped in front of her and placed his hands inside his jeans pockets. “I’ve said a lot of foolish and hurtful things. I can’t take them away, but I didn’t mean any of ’em. I’m here because I want to beg forgiveness.”
Jennifer opened her mouth, ready to sling a retort, but closed it again.
Apologize?
She studied him for a moment, gauging his mood. She saw the subtle and not-so-subtle changes in him—the lighter movement, the absent scathing tone, and his improved overall appearance.
Can it be?
She shook her head. “And then what?” She slid past him.
Blake turned around. “And then, if forgiven, I want to make love with you, without the fear and self-loathing this time.”
Her mouth gaped open and blood rushed to her face. She’d heard him say a lot of crazy things in the past, but this one topped the bill.
What an arrogant prick!
She threw her hands up and began to pace. “You are the most obnoxious person I’ve ever met!”
“And yet, you love me for all my faults, don’t you?”
Jennifer stopped and closed her eyes. She wanted to tell him that he meant nothing, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Jutting her chin, she gritted her teeth and nodded. “I do, but that’s beside the point. You’re not right up there.” She pointed to his head. “You turn away those who love you, and I’m afraid that I’ll end up hating you if I don’t stay out of your life.”
Blake took several steps forward, reaching for her.
She shook her head.
“After you left, my world was turned upside down. It took a good beating to get where I am now.”
She met his gaze straight on. “Exactly where are you, Blake Connor?”
“I’m where I have to be. This may come as a shock to you but I’m happy in my own skin, whatever it looks like, and I’m ready to think of the future.” He gave her a small smile, and despite her resolve not crumbling, her heart was thawing.
“What is the future for you?” Her voice dipped lower, thinking of the baby inside her.
“I see you in it,” he said in a husky voice.
When he reached for her hand, she allowed him to hold her. His hand was rough, but warm to touch and very, very familiar. “Why are you doing this to me?”
Blake drew her closer and she let him. He placed one hand on the small of her back and Jennifer rested her head on his chest.
She breathed in his masculine scent, the familiar one that never failed to make her all tingly.
“Because I’m in love with you, Jennifer Owens. I’ve loved you from the moment Trent first showed me your picture. I loved you every day I drove past your house in Lancaster, and I want to love you for the rest of my life.”
She heard the rapid beating of his heart and she ached to believe him. He made it sound so enticing. Would she dare
give her heart and risk getting hurt again?
“I want you in my bed. I want to call you my wife, and I would love to show you what the new and improved me is all about … if you’ll have me.”
Jennifer hesitated.
Tell him.
How?
What if he doesn’t believe me?
She pushed him back to get a better look at his face. “I’m not built for this free-falling relationship. I don’t even know you. All I remember is the man who kept pushing me away. A bitter person who despised life because he’d been dealt a bad hand. You refused to see that I love the man and everything about him. How do you expect me to just believe in what you’re saying now?”
Instead of answering her, he captured her mouth in a rough and demanding kiss.
Her heart started beating wildly as the memories of his touch flooded her, making her remember their nights together. Sweet tingles of apprehension surged through her veins. When he stopped to look at her, her mouth prickled from his punishing kisses.
“I will make you believe it every day of my life. I’m not asking you to make a decision now. All I’m asking you for is the chance to make you happy.” One hand trailed up and down her arm in a caress.
“I don’t know what to say. I have so many questions.”
“I’ll be happy to answer them inside your bedroom.” He breathed against her cheek, lifting her into his arms and carrying her up the steps.
Heat coursed through her, and no matter how much she wanted to deny him, her body had been pining for him for so long. She doubted she would last any longer under the intense pressure of his presence and his words.
When Blake laid her down, she pulled him on top of her. His eye sparked a deep flame of desire she knew was flashing in her own. He seized her mouth for a long kiss. This time it was unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world. Then he worked his mouth down to her chin, placing small kisses on her neck and throat.
Jennifer smiled, loving the buildup, for she knew it wouldn’t take Blake long before he tasted her. She teemed with excitement when he sat up, his legs cradling her, and began unbuttoning her blouse.
“I love the feel of this fabric.” He was breathing hard, and she knew that he was feeling the heat just like she did.
