by Lexi Blake
“Hold his hand.” Theo needed support. Erin tended to shut down when things got emotional.
Erin’s eyes went wide, but she reached for his hand.
Blood. It was everywhere. The dark shirt he was wearing masked it, but the minute she touched him, her hand came back covered in blood. He had a massive chest wound.
“We need to move,” Brody said. “They’re coming over the wall.”
“I can’t move him.” If she did, he was dead. She was surprised moving him back to cover hadn’t killed him.
His breath rattled in his chest and Faith felt her stomach drop. It was a wheezing sound, like air escaping from a balloon. She pulled the shirt up and was glad the lights were on. She could see the bullet wound, estimate how close to the heart it had struck. Close. Way too close, but she had to worry about his lung first. If she was right, he had an open pneumothorax. Sucking chest wound. To top it off, he was bleeding profusely. She would bet his chest cavity was filling with a massive hemothorax.
“I need something to seal his lung,” Faith said calmly, her hopes beginning to diminish. This was the kind of wound that was iffy in the best of conditions. “And then I need to get him to an OR. I need a chest tube to get this blood out. I can’t see anything for all the blood.”
“Get Erin out of here, Ten.” Theo coughed and blood trickled from his mouth.
Erin leaned over. “Don’t. Don’t you dare do this, Theo. You promised me.”
He reached up and brushed his fingers over Erin’s face. “I did. Promised I’d love you until I died. Kept it, baby. Kept it.”
Faith put her hand over the wound. “I need something plastic.”
She could stabilize him. If she got something thin and plastic she might be able to stabilize the lung so he could breathe. Then she would work on the blood loss. Yes. She could do this. Her hands were coated in blood, but he was strong. She could do this. She had to stop being cynical.
“They’re coming,” Nick said, his voice calm.
“I’ll get the van started.” Hutch moved behind her.
She tried to focus on her patient.
Theo only had eyes for Erin. He ran his fingers over her face as though memorizing her. “Let Case take care of you. He won’t…he won’t know what to do. Took care of me so long, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Now go, baby. I’m done.”
Tears dripped from Erin’s eyes. “No. You promised.”
What could she use? Maybe he was strong enough to make it to the van. She might have to risk it.
“Such a pretty girl.” Theo’s lips curled up, the blood on his face marring his perfection. He frowned suddenly. “Don’t cry. You never cry.”
“Don’t do this to me.” Erin leaned over. “You don’t get to do this, Taggart.”
“Erin, ask Tag…” He coughed again, blood bubbling up from his throat. “Fuck, ask Tag to forgive me.”
“No.” Erin’s head shook. “No. You tell him yourself.”
“Love you, baby. Forever.”
Faith felt the moment he died. His chest rattled and then stilled, sinking in. Motion stopped and his face went slack. Something left Theo Taggart in that second. Something that animated him, made him human. It fled and she was left with nothing more than a body.
“Theo? Theo?” Erin shook him.
The blood flow had slowed. She hadn’t noticed. His heart had stopped. It was no longer pumping, no longer moving.
She had to start CPR. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew he was gone. If he’d been close to an ER, maybe they would have a chance. If they had blood and all the technological wonders of a modern OR, she might have been able to save him, but she couldn’t not try.
“Theo? Stop it. Fucking stop playing around.” Erin shook him, trying to get some sort of response out of the man she loved. “Please. Please.”
“Erin, move back. I need to start CPR,” she said, shocked at how calm her voice was.
“Yeah,” Erin agreed, her eyes glassy. “CPR. That’s good. He needs it.”
“Get the women. They won’t come on their own. We have to move and now.” She heard Ten speaking, but the words didn’t penetrate. She could hear the gunfire getting closer. So much gunfire.
She got to her knees. Five compressions. She had to restart his heart. Nothing else mattered.
“No. No! Please don’t. Don’t make me leave him.” Erin was yelling, but Faith had to focus on Theo. Every second that passed made it harder to bring him back.
There was movement behind her. Brody was gone. She pressed down. One, Two, Three…
Ten hauled her up and into his arms. His gun clattered to the ground. His body shook, but he held her tight.
“No. I have to give him CPR.” She struggled in his arms.
He groaned and she felt him spasm, but he wouldn’t let her go. “He’s gone, Faith. He’s gone. Nick?”
Nick began to reach down for Theo’s body. His shoulder flew forward and she saw what she hadn’t before. There was a line of men coming up behind them. Nick groaned, but managed to fire behind him with the arm that hadn’t taken a bullet.
“Move. We have to leave him,” Ten ordered. “Move!” He glanced down at Theo. “Good-bye, brother.”
He took off, almost stumbling, but he managed to keep his feet under them.
As he rounded the corner, she saw the door opening. There was a crack of light now and she saw a hint of her sister’s blonde hair.
Too late. Far too late.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ten led her into the bathroom. Faith was like a doll he had to pose. If he let her, she would drift, her eyes becoming hazy as she almost surely found herself back in that horrible place where they’d been. Hours later, she was still in shock.
The only time she’d been in the moment was when she cut the bullet from Nick’s shoulder. Even then, she’d been like an automaton, not even arguing with the Russian when he’d refused pain medication. Ten had been ready to hold the big guy down. He and Brody had been on standby, but Nick never moved. Never flinched or cried out. Even when Faith widened the wound so she could get to the bullet, even as she’d doused him with rubbing alcohol to clean the wound, he’d merely stared straight ahead. At the end, he’d said something in Russian about his gratitude and gone to his room, closing the door.
Erin was under watch. She might not realize it, but Hutch had orders not to let her out of his sight. It was easy because she wouldn’t go back into the room she’d shared with Theo. She was on the couch, curled up with her gun, her eyes wide open though she’d told everyone she was going to sleep.
Brody was watching Nick. And Ten was going to take care of Faith, if his damn muscles would stop twitching.
He’d only been gone for two days. It had felt like weeks. How was it possible?
“Lift your arms,” he commanded quietly once they’d made it to the bathroom. Outside he could hear the wind whipping around. The storm was about to blow in or he would have had them all on a plane or a boat off the island.
Her eyes came up. Normally they were so vibrant, but now they seemed dull. “I already washed off the blood.”
He hated to point this out to her, wished he could simply put her to bed. Sleep would put a few hours between them and the horror of this evening. “Sweetheart, you washed off Theo’s blood. Now you’ve got Nick’s on you and we need to wash your hair.”
There were matted places in her hair. She couldn’t wake up like this in the morning. She needed to wake up clean, with at least her body back to normal. Nothing else would be, but he could give her this.
She caught sight of herself in the mirror and shuddered. “All right. I’ll do it.”
Good. At least he wouldn’t have to fight her on that point.
She stared at him. “Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you go back to your room?”
Ah, they had found something to fight about. “Not while we’re on this island. I’m staying with you. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to, but I
’m not leaving you alone. You make bad decisions.”
Her eyes narrowed and for the first time in hours, he felt like she was looking at him. Naturally, she looked irritated. “Like the decision to come rescue you?”
It was good that she understood. He didn’t want to argue, but he couldn’t move on this point. “Yes. Like that one. You never should have been anywhere near that operation.”
His right leg seized and he damn near went to his knees. For hours he’d managed to ignore the weakness in his body, but the adrenaline was finally wearing off. He caught himself before he hit the floor, his arm on the sink. With shaking muscles, he got down to his knees. Faith knelt down and put her hands on his thigh, rubbing with a light touch.
“Does it hurt?”
He shook his head. “No. I know what real pain is. This is a weakness. My muscles keep firing off.”
“Did they use electricity on you?”
He didn’t want to get into this with her. No matter what, McDonald was still her father. It was bad enough that Ten was going to kill the man. “Take your shower, darlin’. We can talk more in the morning.”
“I need to know what happened so I can treat you.”
“I’m feeling great.” He was feeling like shit, but he wasn’t putting her through anything else tonight.
“None of us is great, Ten. Tell me what happened. Or maybe I could tell you. From the electrical burn on your arm, I would say they used something like a cattle prod. I suppose they could have gotten a violet wand and upped the amperage, but my father isn’t known for his creativity. He likely would have used a cattle prod. Depending on how bad the torture was you’re looking at anything from mild autonomic dysfunction to keraunoparalysis. I need to check the veins in your legs for vascular spasms.”
She really liked to throw the big words around. None of it meant anything. His path was laid out and it didn’t include a bunch of medical care. “I’m all right, Doc. They got me good, but I’m functioning for now. Take your shower so we can get some sleep. As soon as this storm blows over, we’re getting you out of here. I need to get Erin and Nick back to the States before they do something stupid like go after your father for revenge.”
A brow arched over her forehead. He liked to think of it as her judgmental brow. It was the left. Her right brow was far less holier than thou. “That’s stupid? Isn’t that exactly why you’re here? Didn’t you come after my father because of the role he played in your brother’s death? Wasn’t the whole point of romancing me so you could do the same thing Erin and Nick will want to do?”
He was so weary. There wasn’t a lot of fight left in him and he wasn’t going to waste it on fighting with the woman he loved. She might never forgive him, but he wasn’t going to hurt her ever again. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. God, being close to her made him feel better. “Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. That stupidity is what I’m trying to avoid for them.”
“He killed your brother.”
So Theo had shown her the file. He managed to straighten up and ran a hand through his hair. What a fucking mess. “I never meant for you to see that file.”
“But you had it made.”
“Before I knew you. Before I loved you.”
She was on her feet again, getting into his space. “Don’t use that word with me, Ten. You don’t get to use that word with me.”
He nodded. “All right. But don’t think for a second it’s not inside me. Just because I don’t say it, doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
She turned away from him and seemed to come to some decision. She reached down and pulled her shirt over her head. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all anyway.” She tossed aside her bra. “Why? Why was it stupid for us to try to save you? Do you know how horrible it was for Theo to hear that? You were awful to him.”
“I was his superior officer and I was trying to teach him. I didn’t know he would die on us, though I believe that was my point.” The loss of Theo was an actual ache in his body. “He should never have attempted to rescue me. He went in blind.”
“We thought we knew what we were doing. And we weren’t blind. I know the area and Hutch did all the stuff on his computer. You know you were planning on getting into that building yourself. I don’t see how what Theo planned was different. You intended to use the same people to get into the building. The only difference was we were getting you back instead of some data.”
“I was going to get into a building that was guarded mostly by technological means,” he explained. “The minute your father showed up, we were outgunned and Theo should have called his brother and handed over the operation to him. Theo has never been in charge in the field. The only reason he was my second was this was never supposed to end in combat.”
“He couldn’t leave you.”
“He should have. He should have gone back to the States and let his brother deal with the problem.”
Faith stood there, shaking her head as though she couldn’t understand what he was saying. “I can’t believe you’re being so cold about this.”
“Cold? You think I’m being cold? Baby, you don’t want to know how I really feel about what happened out there. You don’t want to hear me scream. Do you think for a second I don’t want to use this storm as cover? I’ve already planned it out in my head. I can see the op. They’ll have to leave the guards on the inside because of the weather and that will make them soft. I’ll watch and the minute I can, I’ll slip inside and take out whoever’s in my way. No guns. They’re too loud. I personally prefer a knife. More personal. If you’re going to gut a man, you should have to look him in the eyes, you know. I’ll sneak up the back stairs. Your father’s room is at the back of the house. He’ll have a few guards on him, but no one will be expecting anything tonight. They think we’ll lick our wounds. So they won’t expect me to slit their throats. And then, oh then, I can spend some time with your father. He owes me a debt. I could collect it tonight.”
He’d played the scenario out in his head over and over. As he’d watched Faith pulling out a bullet from Nick, he’d thought about how he could mount her father’s head on a wall somewhere, an eternal sign that he’d taken down the real predator.
In the end, he’d decided nothing mattered. Revenge wouldn’t bring Jamie back. It wouldn’t raise Des and Theo from the ground. It would simply get the rest of them killed.
When she was safe, when Faith was in the care of people he trusted, then he could go back, then he could do what he needed to do.
The only person he would risk from here on out was himself. There would be no happy McKay-Taggart job waiting for him. Not after he’d gotten a Taggart killed. There would be no little family for him or invites to dinners. He was done. He would walk away at the end of this because no matter how much he loved her, he wasn’t good for anyone. He was the reason she was in the position she was in. He was going to cost her everything. Her family. Her memories. They would always be tainted now.
He’d cost her and had nothing to give in return. No family. No future. Just death and retribution.
“You sound very ruthless right now, Ten.” She’d taken a step back.
“I am. Don’t underestimate me, Faith. Did your father give you a file on me?”
She nodded. “I’m sure it was lies.”
“And that proves how naïve you are. Don’t you know the best cover is always the truth? Did he tell you I was a killer? Because I am. Did he tell you I’ve sent men like Theo Taggart out to die more times than I can count? Because I have. Did he tell you I’m not a man who stays? Because I won’t.”
“Why? You said you loved me.”
“My love doesn’t mean very much,” he replied with all the honesty he had. “Take your shower. I’ll be on the couch. We move out the minute this storm blows over.”
He turned and strode into the bedroom. He could hear Faith turning on the shower.
Every muscle in his body ached. He ached.
Fuck. Why had Theo done it? Why
the fuck hadn’t he called his brother? Why the fuck hadn’t Theo let the goddamn Chinese take him? It wasn’t a fair exchange.
It was one more punishment. He got to live knowing he was alive because some shiny happy kid who could have had a future was dead. He was a piece of shit and he was walking around while Theo was lying in the rain.
He hadn’t even gotten Theo’s body. He’d had to tell Ian Taggart his brother had been left behind. He’d had Hutch open a line and despite the fact that it had been a rough connection, Ian had been able to hear. The op had gone to hell and Ten had lost two of Big Tag’s operatives. God, he’d cost Theo his life.
“Understood.” It was all Ian had said before the line had gone out. One word, but there had been an arctic chill to it.
Ian had been his only friend for so long. Ten hadn’t been a particularly good friend. He didn’t really understand how to be. Spending all these months at McKay-Taggart had changed him. They didn’t run like the Agency. They might work in the shadows from time to time, but they didn’t live in them. He finally understood why Taggart had walked away from his job.
He’d wanted a life. He’d wanted a place where he didn’t treat men and women like chess pieces, deciding who to keep and lose based on how the game was going.
It was all Ten knew. It was the only place he fit.
The shower turned off. She’d moved quickly. He tried not to imagine her naked. The funny thing was he wasn’t thinking about sex. His dick wasn’t engaged at all. It might never work again after what they did to him. He was thinking about the feel of her skin against his, the warmth he would feel when she wrapped herself around him. He hadn’t realized how cold he’d been until he met her.
He would take her to Dallas and then walk away. It was the best he could do for her. Despite the fact that he’d gotten Big Tag’s brother killed, Ian would look out for Faith. He would watch over Phoebe. He would take care of the women Ten loved. They would be safe.
When the time came, Big Tag would bury him because that was the kind of man he was.
Ten wished he could be that man. He wished he could take back the last few hours. If he could go back to that one moment in time, he would have taken the lead and stepped out into the road. He would happily take the bullet that destroyed Theo.
