by Tia Louise
“Don’t you have things to do? He can’t be paying you all that money just to drive Lillie around.”
“Everything’s pretty much Lillie-based. I feed her, change her clothes, help her clean up, do little activities with her, do her laundry…”
“What a sweet gig!”
“Which is why I cannot fuck it up.” Walking over to collect my things, I get an idea. “Maybe if I got my own place. I’ll be able to afford it… Hell, by next week.”
She rearranges her notebook and pen getting ready for her next client. “Will he go for that plan? I thought he hired you to be there at night in case she needed you.”
Chewing my lip, I toss my bag over my shoulder. “I guess I’ll have to ask.” I hear the noise of people in the lobby and blow her a kiss. “Thanks, bae. Take it easy and let me know everything that happens with the new baby. How far along are you?”
“Five weeks.”
“So next week we can tell everybody?” I’m excited.
She waves, shaking her head and laughing.
I say hello to Hunter on the way out, and he studies me with that always-serious expression.
“You look really happy today.” His eyes move around my face, and I await some comparison to Martha Mitchell or Dorothy Hunt. “Perhaps you shouldn’t be a therapist.”
Nodding, I pat his arm. “Or maybe I should be a different kind of therapist.”
“There are five broad approaches to psychotherapy—”
Drew steps to the door. “Hunter, your appointment has begun.”
He tells me a quick goodbye and starts for her door. Dotty is the clinic receptionist. She shakes her head as Hunter leaves, and I give her a quick wave before heading to the door.
“Let me know if she needs anything or starts looking tired.”
“Something wrong?” She’s frowning, and I do a little zipper motion across my lips.
“You’ll know soon.”
“Miss you around here!”
I don’t want to say Hunter’s right, and I don’t really miss talking to patients. Instead, I give her a squeeze, and I’m on my way to pick up Lillie.
The rest of the week goes pretty much the same. I sneak out with Lillie before everyone’s up, we eat Egg McMuffins, and I get her extra ketchup packets.
“Are eggs bad for me?” Lillie picks at the corner of the cheese slice on her perfectly round poached egg.
“It’s more about how they treat the chickens.” Not that I’m one hundred percent sure the eggs on our breakfast sandwiches are real.
It’s better than Taco Bell, I guess.
“How do they treat the chickens?” Her little brow furrows, and I’m not about to get into the ethics of poultry farming with her.
“Some people prefer getting eggs from chickens who run around farms. They’re called free-range chickens.”
Her little eyebrows go up. “Like in Chicken Run? They all made a big airplane out of their cages and flew to a valley.”
I’m not super familiar with that movie, but it sounds good to me. “Sure.”
“I’d like to have a chicken.” She walks her fingers along the ketchup packet, back and forth, squishing the contents as she plays.
First a puppy, now a chicken… It gives me an idea. “Why don’t we plant a little garden in the backyard? You could grow beets and Chinese cabbage and broccoli…”
“I love broccoli!” She jumps out of her chair.
“I heard.” Taking a napkin, I wipe a spot of grease off her cheek. We can’t keep doing this, I know. “When we have a harvest, we could eat our crops at dinner. Or lunch.”
Speaking of dinner, even though I’ve lain pretty low, it hasn’t stopped Remi from giving me hot looks across the table. He’s given me space since that amazing kiss we shared… or I’ve been avoiding him like crazy. Every time he smiles, my skin tingles and my brain says, Oh, shit.
Still, I can’t avoid him forever.
She jumps out of her chair again. “Can we do it today?”
“I don’t know if we can start today, but we can scout a good location after lunch. I’ll see what I can find at the garden center while you’re at school.”
We collect our trash, and I walk her to the bin. I’m just buckling her in her booster seat in the back of my car, and she’s happily squeezing ketchup when she suddenly brightens.
“I’ll tell Daddy I want a puppy!”
That gives me another bright idea.
12
Remi
Lillie appears at my door carrying a basket. “Ruby said we’re having a picnic!”
She marches in like she’s on a mission, and I hop up and run to the door, looking out, all around. “Where is Ruby?”
I swear, she’s been dodging me all week, and while I’m getting a lot of work done, it’s making me kind of sad.
“She said she’s scouting out a good spot for our garden.”
Today my daughter is wearing oversized black pants with large white polka dots, and a matching white shirt that has a nose and long whiskers. She’s adorable, and her personality shines through. I love it.
“A garden? That sounds fun. What made you think of making a garden?”
“Ruby said we can grow beets and broccoli and Chinese food.”
“Is that so?” I start to laugh. “I didn’t know Chinese food grew in gardens.”
She’s struggling with a blanket twice as big as she is, and I walk to where she’s setting up shop in the middle of my office. I take the quilt and spread it over the floor.
“I like having a picnic with you. What’s in the basket?”
My daughter sits on the quilt and takes out two plastic containers. “I helped make these.” She hands me a green tortilla wrap filled with what looks like tuna salad. “I’m supposed to tell you it’s organic tuna…” Her little face scrunches as if she’s trying to remember her lines. “E-C-A-B and a little salt and pepper.”
I touch her nose. “You mean E-V-O-O?”
Her eyes roll around and she drops her head backwards. “I said it was too hard to remember.”
“You did a great job.” I inspect our very healthy lunch, complete with organic milk in glasses with plastic lids and metal straws. Organic, environmental… Ruby’s a fast learner. I don’t see anything Eleanor could complain about.
Lillie dives in, taking a big bite of wrap. We also have small containers of cucumber slices, without the ranch dressing. I open the lid on her cup and slide the straw inside before handing it to her.
“Ruby can’t drink milk.” My daughter takes a long swig. “She’s galactically int…” A worried expression crosses her face.
I cover my mouth with a napkin and swallow my laugh. “Lactose intolerant.”
She shakes her head. “That’s not what she said.”
“Oh, it’s not?” I grin at how serious and grown up she’s acting.
We’re sitting cross-legged across from each other, and the warmth in my chest as I watch my little girl happily nibbling a cucumber slice is undeniable. Ruby was right about one thing. My father did not stop what he was doing to have lunch with me ever. Although, seeing this little cherub with her golden curls arranged in two ponytails, maybe he would’ve stopped. Who could resist Lillie? …or Ruby for that matter.
“How’d it go today at school?” I give her a playful frown. “No more eating dirt, I hope.”
Her eyes remain fixed on her food, but she shakes her head. “I don’t want to get a worm in my tummy.”
“Well, I don’t want you to get sick.” I’m not sure about the worm part.
Her head cocks to the side, and her brow furrows. “If we plant our garden in the dirt and then we eat the broccoli, how come we don’t get worms that way?”
“We wash it first.” The mechanics of drainage and modern waste disposal are way too complicated to get into over a picnic lunch with my four-year-old.
She thinks a minute then nods slowly, seeming okay with that answer. We munch a few minutes longer, and I fe
el her watching me. I look over, and she’s giving me a cute little grin.
“What?”
“I have a very serious question to ask you, Daddy.” She finishes her last piece of wrap, and I grab a napkin to wipe her hands.
“Okay…” I have no idea what’s coming.
“I want to get a puppy.” She sits for a second, watching me with that smile firmly in place.
“Is that so?” Looking around, I try to imagine what having a dog in the house would be like. I’m not entirely opposed to the idea. “Have you talked to Ruby about it?” Don’t know why that matters…
“Ruby says I have to be very responsible to have a pet. She says I have to ask you.” My daughter crawls across the blanket and puts her hand on my leg. “Can I have a puppy, Daddy?”
Round hazel eyes blink up at me, and I have to put down my food. It’s like an invisible fist punched me straight in the gut. How could I possibly say no to that face?
“I… well, I don’t know, sweetie.” Shit. I can’t get a dog without talking to Ruby. Why am I thinking this way? Why does Ruby’s opinion matter so much to me? “We need to do a little research first. Be sure nobody’s allergic.”
“Like Ruby can’t drink milk?”
“Yes—just like that. Are you finished?” She nods, and I quickly pick up the plates, shoving everything into the basket. I’m ready to find her absentee nanny. “Carry your milk.”
Lillie takes off ahead of me running as I jog down the stairs. Every day little things have changed around here. I’ve watched their paintings get more detailed until I assume they’re finished. I’ve searched for Ruby every morning to tell her how much I like them, and I’ve been beyond frustrated to find her gone without a word each time.
When we find her on the patio, my stomach tightens, and a surge of desire rises in my chest. Maybe she was right to stay away? I wasn’t expecting to feel like this when I saw her again. I’m acutely aware of how long it’s been since I’ve touched a woman. Four years…
“Ruby! Daddy said we have to talk to you about the puppy!”
When she looks up, I swear, it’s almost too much. She’s wearing black pants and an oversized white shirt I assume doubles as a smock over her black tank. Her long hair is up in a ponytail, and she looks like fresh air and sunshine and everything good. I want to go to her, pull her into my arms, and devour those pretty pink lips again.
Her cheeks flush when she sees me, but she squats in front of my daughter. “Why did he say that?”
“He said you might be allergic!” Lillie is talking so loud, and I can tell she’s excited. I’m not sure we’re ready for a pet, but telling her no is going to be hard.
“I’m not.” Ruby looks up at me as I walk to them. She quickly picks up one of my old button-up shirts and starts putting it on my daughter.
“I told her we needed to do some research.” I see her fingers tremble slightly. Is she nervous? I want to cover those hands with mine and tell her she has no reason to be. I never want to hurt her.
“Your daddy’s right, Lil. We need to do some research. Eleanor might be allergic.”
“Aww!” Lillie mixes a whine with a little stomp, and I watch as Ruby fishes out a small pair of gardening gloves.
Reaching out, I give my daughter’s little ponytail a gentle tug. “I never told you I love your cat suit.”
Lillie’s smile is only half-hearted and she picks up a small trowel.
Ruby speaks to her softly, giving her a little nudge. “What do you say?”
My daughter’s reply is pouty. “Thank you.”
“Lillie, don’t act like that. You have so many nice things.” Ruby starts, but I touch her arm.
Her eyes meet mine, and I shake my head. “Are your paintings finished? I’ve been looking at them all week. I think you have real talent.”
That distracts her, and she proceeds to tell me about brush strokes, showing me how to flick the brush to make it look like a leaf or a cloud. She’s clearly a beginner, but I see Ruby watching her and smiling proudly. It’s just another reason on my growing list of why I’m falling for this woman.
As much as Eleanor spends her days worrying and fretting over what my daughter eats and wears, I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever seen her step back and simply observe Lillie doing things with as much pride as Ruby does.
It’s Friday before I get my wish to speak to Ruby alone.
Dinners have leveled out to mundane chatter—the weather, preschool activities, the prospect of a fall harvest. Eleanor doesn’t have as many barbs to throw since Ruby started preparing healthier lunches, although the details of breakfast have been a bit sketchy.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say my daughter is trying to be sneaky, which only piques my curiosity even more. Naturally, I run interference when Eleanor gets too pushy.
I floated the idea of my mother-in-law potentially finding her own place, to which she responded as I expected—shock, dismay, concern for Lillie, concern for her finances. I don’t really mind paying all of Eleanor’s expenses. I do mind her being in my house, hovering over Lillie, and meddling in my affairs.
All of this is on my mind as I stand outside Ruby’s bedroom door. What am I doing here? After the way she’s acted since Monday, I decided she must need space. That kiss was amazing. It’s been on my mind all week, distracting me from my work, making me think about all the possible ways we might be able to act on these feelings.
I’ve also been puzzling nonstop over what she said… You’ll ruin everything. What plans is she afraid I’ll ruin? Is she already thinking of leaving us after a month? It’s only been a week, and I can’t imagine this house without her in it.
My muscles are tense as I take a deep breath and tap softly. Her room is quiet… no immediate response, so I knock again.
On the other side of the door, I hear her hesitant voice. “Who is it?”
“It’s me… Remi. I’d like to talk to you if that’s okay?”
The door opens halfway, and I have to catch my breath. She’s wearing a silky green robe, and possibly nothing else. Her hair is down, hanging in long waves around her shoulders, and she’s fucking sexy as hell.
My stomach tightens, and all I can think of is touching her, sliding my hands all over her skin, cupping her breasts and rolling her tight nipples between my fingers.
“Is everything okay?” She’s speaking just above a whisper, and I’m reminded my daughter is down the hall.
“Yeah, I wanted to… I…” What do I want?
I want to pick up where we left off Monday night. I want to kiss her hard and back her into the room, lay her on the bed, and spread her thighs. I want to lose myself in her, tasting her, teasing her, then plunging deep, feeling her break around me as she comes apart, screaming my name.
“Sorry. I’ve just been thinking.” Obsessing about you all week is more accurate. I clear my throat, passing a hand over my mouth. “Remember Monday, when we were talking, you said something about your dad—how he made you second-guess yourself?”
“Oh.” Her shoulders drop. She seems to relax, taking a step back, into her room. “Yes, my father excelled at that. We have something in common. My dad was the first person to shelve my artistic aspirations.”
Her wry tone makes me relax, and I step inside, closing the door and putting my back to it.
So we don’t wake Lillie, of course.
“You shouldn’t let that happen. You’re an amazing artist. I think you should do whatever you want. Trust your instincts.”
The hint of a smile is on her lips. “I trusted my instincts coming here. Then I proceeded to showcase all my poor decision-making skills.”
That makes me frown. “I haven’t seen you make a poor decision yet.”
“I’ve made a couple. I made one Monday night.” Her eyes meet mine, and her voice is quiet. “I should never have kissed you. I’m so sorry. It was so unprofessional.”
Now it’s my turn to smile. She says it like she’s confessin
g a major sin, not a simple kiss.
Okay, that kiss was not simple.
It was fucking hot as sin, and I want to do it again and again.
If she’s onboard with all the kissing, of course.
“I’m not holding it against you.” Pushing off the door, I close the space between us. “I was worried when you left that night. You said something about me ruining everything? What were you talking about?”
“It wasn’t fair of me to say that. Especially since it’s all been me being irresponsible and acting inappropriately. You haven’t done anything.”
I reach out to touch the side of her cheek. “What have you done that’s inappropriate?”
She takes a step back, and she’s against the wall. “Nothing yet… It’s more the potential is there, and I can’t… mess this up. I have things I want to do, debts to pay, and I’d like to get my own place, maybe get recertified in a different field.”
“I think all of that sounds great, except the part about getting your own place.” My chest feels tight, and I wonder again if she’s leaving us after a month. “Don’t you like it here?”
“Of course! It’s a beautiful house, and this room is gorgeous.” She motions around the beige bedroom, which I notice she has not decorated. “You’ve been so generous to me. I hope I’m meeting your expectations. As a nanny, I mean.”
Is she kidding me? Doesn’t she see how amazing she is? How much Lillie loves her?
“You’ve exceeded my expectations. You’re an amazing nanny. I don’t know how I could’ve found someone any better.”
A genuine smile curls her lips. “Thanks. I’m kind of still learning, but Lillie makes it easy.” Her chin drops and she glances up at me with those eyes. “So do you. You’re a great boss.”
The way she looks up at me, standing there in that robe with her pretty hair all around her shoulders, her pink lips making me remember how soft they are when I take them… I slide my hand in my pocket, doing my best to ease the rising pressure in my dick.
