“You’re scaring me,” Jeremy whispered.
“I don’t mean to. Shit, Jeremy, I’m sorry.” Donnie stood, staring down with pain-filled eyes. “I can’t walk away. I just can’t, but I’ll give you as much time as you need. Just please don’t run from me. I’m not him. I’ll never hurt you.”
Jeremy stood as Donnie walked away, watching him leave the pub and staring blankly at the now closed door. He slowly slumped into his chair and looked at his drink.
He’d left. Donnie had walked away, leaving everything up to Jeremy. It was his call now; he decided if this continued or not. But Donnie was a vampire. Could he really just walk away from Jeremy?
And could Jeremy let him go?
Chapter Five
Walking away from Jeremy was one of the hardest things Donnie had ever had to do in his life. Leaving his mate standing in a pub after spilling his guts over that cunt Patrick made Donnie grit his teeth. Donnie clenched his hands. He wanted to hunt the fucker down and beat him to a pulp.
He sat in his Jeep staring at the pub. His gut clenched, his body craving to be near Jeremy, even more now he knew what he’d suffered.
His beautiful, strong mate who’d suffered so much, so young. No wonder he was jaded. His first real relationship had been fucked up.
Donnie punched the steering wheel, screaming out in frustration and anger, his blood boiling. His muscles tensed, ready for a fight and he had to fight to gain control. He wanted to hunt, maim and kill.
He knew if anyone saw him now he’d be in full vampire mode. Red glowing eyes, claws pushing through the skin on his fingers, fangs dropping, more angled features. No one wanted to face a vampire when they looked like this.
His mate. His amazing strong mate had survived years of abuse, and even though Donnie didn’t know him then, the guilt ate at him. He could almost feel this Patrick’s flesh tear apart in his hands, the blood seeping through his fingers, and he reveled in it. If only it were real.
The front door of the pub opened and Jeremy stepped out. Donnie sat up in his seat and watched him scan the parking lot before spotting him in his Jeep.
He walked over hesitantly and Donnie’s breathing quickened. His hands gripped the steering wheel and he moaned low. He’d never imagined his mate being a man, but watching Jeremy move caused his pulse to quicken and his dick to harden.
He licked his lips, wishing he could taste Jeremy on them. His skin, his flesh, his blood.
When he stopped by his Jeep, Donnie opened the door and stepped out, closing it gently behind him, an action that belied the emotions coursing through him.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Jeremy nodded. “I’m off...” Breaking off, he glanced away and Donnie frowned.
“What?”
“Shit.” Jeremy dropped his head and Donnie instinctively stepped closer, reaching out to grip his shoulder.
Then suddenly Jeremy was closer, their bodies touching and Donnie’s eyes widened in surprise.
“What...” He never finished what he wanted to say. Jeremy’s lips touched his, hesitantly. Once, twice. A mere slide across his own.
When he stepped back, Donnie followed. He didn’t want any space between them. He saw Jeremy’s own eyes widen, and he dipped his head, pressing their lips together again. He heard Jeremy moan, and he slipped his tongue out, licking his lips and hoping, no praying that Jeremy would let him in.
Jeremy’s tongue darted out, and this time, Donnie moaned when they touched. He let Jeremy take over the kiss, parting his lips to let his tongue in.
He stepped even closer, wrapping his arms around Jeremy’s waist and pulling him close until there was no distance between them.
Jeremy’s hands touched him, gripping his shoulders. Their tongues moved together, a languid dance that Donnie wanted to deepen, but at the same time, didn’t. This was Jeremy’s show, and he needed to control it, to know that Donnie spoke the truth, and Donnie willingly handed it over to him.
When Jeremy pushed Donnie back against the Jeep, he went easily, letting Jeremy do whatever he wanted. He spread his legs so Jeremy could step in between them and groaned when he felt their hard dicks rub.
Breaking from the kiss, he muttered, “Fuck.”
Jeremy’s hands slid over his short hair, and he pulled him back down, thrusting his tongue back into Donnie’s mouth and he moaned, loving the control Jeremy had over him.
He wanted to touch and slowly moved his hands to Jeremy’s back, sliding them beneath the shirt he wore. When he touched his warm, soft skin, Donnie trembled, unable to hold back the sensations rushing through him.
His mate. He was kissing and holding his mate.
Jeremy stepped back, pulling free, and they stood facing each other, panting in the night air.
“What?” Donnie asked. “Did I go too far?”
“No. It was me.”
He shook his head, trying to clear the lust-induced fog. “I don’t understand.”
“I wanted...” Jeremy looked away, his cheeks blushing.
“More.” Donnie finished for him.
Donnie saw the blush deepen on Jeremy’s skin, and he smiled, reaching forward and taking Jeremy’s hand in his own. “That’s okay. I want more too, but if you’re not ready, then we do what we’re doing. I’m fine with this.”
“For now.” Jeremy stared at their clasped hands.
“When you’re ready, Jeremy, and not before.” He had to make certain Jeremy understood. They moved at his pace, not Donnie’s. It didn’t matter that he wanted to strip him naked and touch and kiss and lick every inch of skin on Jeremy’s body. It didn’t matter that he wanted to push into Jeremy and feel his body clenched around him.
Jeremy was in control. Total control.
“You want more.” Jeremy stared at him as he made the statement.
“Yes,” Donnie answered honestly.
Jeremy nodded, pulling his hand free from Donnie’s and pacing in front of him. “I’m not ready.”
“I know. We go at your pace. Whatever you want.”
Jeremy stopped. “Really? You won’t change your mind and try to force me—”
“No,” Donnie interrupted. “My mate. The most important person in my world. You and only you control everything. We do what you want when you want.”
“You want to fuck me.”
“Of course I do. Look at you.” Donnie grinned. “I am so very lucky to have you as my mate.”
“I don’t think so. I’m a mess.” He shoved his hand through his hair, pulling on the strands, and Donnie stepped closer, reaching up to pull Jeremy’s hand free and held it in both of his.
“You have been through a horrendous experience. I wish I’d been there to help you, but I wasn’t, and I have to live with that.” He placed a finger on Jeremy’s lips when they parted. “You are my mate. I don’t think you truly understand what that means to me. I wish I could point you to mated couples so that you could see with your own eyes, but it’s so rare to find one.”
“Why is that?”
Donnie shrugged. He didn’t know. Some speculated it was because some mates were human and the vampires had refused them.
“I don’t know. I really don’t, but I know you are mine, and I’ll do whatever you want. Just please don’t shut me out.”
He saw Jeremy swallow and stroked his fingers over his cheek. “I’ll try,” he whispered so quietly Donnie almost missed.
“Okay.”
Jeremy stepped closer again, lifting his face up to Donnie, and he responded to the unspoken request. Lowering his own, he closed his eyes as their lips touched softly. He pulled back, opening them, watching Jeremy’s slowly open.
The green, so vivid, so clear, shone brightly, and Donnie wanted to see them darken with passion.
He took a step back and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m gonna leave and give you the time you need. If you need me or want to ask me any questions, call me, please.”
Jeremy nodded, stepping away, increas
ing the distance between them. Donnie didn’t want him to go, but knew he had no choice. He needed to give Jeremy time to adjust, to become accustomed to the changes occurring. Donnie was more than aware what Jeremy’s body would be going through.
Even though they’d only kissed, the close proximity to each other would be pushing at Jeremy, and Donnie couldn’t allow that to happen. When they finally came together, which he knew would happen, he wanted it to be on Jeremy’s terms. His own decision.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Jeremy nodded, and Donnie opened the Jeep door and got in. He stared at him through the windshield, then started the engine and pulled away, leaving his mate behind.
Jeremy watched him leave, and his chest tightened almost to the point of pain. It felt like a part of him was driving away and he wanted to shout, no, scream, for Donnie to come back but he remained silent.
When he could no longer see the lights from Donnie’s Jeep, he turned and walked to his own car, getting in and slumping in the driver’s seat.
Closing his eyes, Jeremy exhaled heavily. What the fuck was he going to do? Starting the engine, Jeremy drove to his hotel.
In his room, he threw his coat over the back of the chair and slumped on the bed, falling back and staring up at the ceiling. His dick was hard, he wasn’t sure if it had gone down at all, and he wanted Donnie there to... to what? He wanted sex. The man was hot, but he knew what would come with it. They’d be mates, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that or if he ever would be.
If there was one thing he knew about mates, it was that there was no separation, no divorce. Was that a good thing though, to know that the person meant for you would never leave?
What if that person was a sadistic fucker who enjoyed abusing others? What then? Donnie said that didn’t happen, but maybe he hadn’t heard about them. Not every mated relationship was perfect.
Jeremy sighed. There probably were bad matings. When two individuals came together, there was bound to be some sticking points, some areas where they didn’t agree, just like in human relationships, but did they hurt each other? Did they abuse each other?
He was sick and tired of the unanswered questions and the opportunity he’d missed that night. Donnie had been there, sat opposite him, and Jeremy hadn’t asked him anything. He’d talked about his past instead.
Even though the conversation had been difficult, he was glad he’d done it. A weight had been lifted from him, and he felt lighter than he had in a long time. Maybe it was because he’d told Donnie or maybe it was because he’d finally started the healing process. Was it finally time to move on and begin again?
Seeing a therapist hadn’t made Jeremy feel like he did right then. Was this the mate bond? Was the bond somehow helping him to heal?
He sat up and pulled his cell from his pocket, staring at the blank screen. Should he ask Donnie? Would he tell him the truth? He bit his lip, struggling to decide.
Finally deciding on what he should do, Jeremy texted Donnie.
Why do I feel better after talking to you?
The response came within seconds.
Because we’re mates.
I don’t understand.
Jeremy shook his head, confusion clouding him.
I don’t know how to explain it, but I think the bond is supposed to help us overcome any difficulties we’ve suffered. It’s to help both mates move forward in their new life together.
Jeremy read the text several times when another one arrived.
Does that help?
I’m not sure.
Still confused, he waited for Donnie’s response.
Tell me what you’re feeling. Please.
Jeremy glanced towards the window, seeing nothing. His mind was a chaotic place right then. It was almost as if he could feel Donnie’s presence in the room with him, encouraging him.
Now that I’ve told you, I feel better. It’s like a weight has gone.
Good. That’s how it should be between mates.
It is? Why?
Because we’re meant to be together.
A pause and then another text.
Like yin and yang.
“Huh! That kinda makes a little sense,” Jeremy muttered. That explanation helped and gave him the strength he needed to go further.
Can I see you again?
Anytime you want.
Tomorrow?
When and where?
Same place for lunch at say one?
I’ll see you there.
He put the cell down and smiled, relieved he’d done it. He knew he wasn’t ready, but he also knew he wanted to see where this went. Maybe after tomorrow, he would know if he wanted to be with Donnie or not, but he needed to get to know Donnie better. Now he had the chance.
Chapter Six
Walking into the same pub he’d left the night before, Donnie found Jeremy already there and sat at the same table. He smiled, walking over, and Jeremy stood to meet him. There was a slight hesitation from him, and then he leaned forward and kissed Donnie on the cheek.
He grinned at Jeremy and sat next to him. “Hi.”
He looked good. He wore a green shirt that made his eyes stand out and his skin glow. His long black lashes framed those green beauties and Donnie couldn’t stop himself from staring at them. They entranced him, the color so clear and vibrant.
“Hi. I need to ask you a question.”
Donnie blinked and raised his eyebrow. “Sure, okay.” What could Jeremy want to know?
“Have you ever been with a man?”
“Oh.” That question wasn’t one he’d been expecting. “Well, no, not really.”
Jeremy tilted his head, watching Donnie. “Not really? Want to explain that to me?”
“Well, I kissed a boy when I was younger...” Donnie winced, glancing away. Shit. He really had no experience. How was he going to make Jeremy…
“And...”
Donnie glanced at Jeremy and winced again. Shit. Again.
“Oh, I see.”
“Okay. I’ve kissed a boy, and that’s it.”
“You’ve never...” Jeremy waved his hand at Donnie’s dick.
“No, I haven’t had sex with a man.”
“Oh.” Jeremy chuckled, causing Donnie to frown then suddenly grin.
“Yeah. You’ll have to teach me.”
“I’m sure I can show you what to do. You’ll need lube.”
Donnie leaned closer, whispering, “I’ve had anal sex with women.”
“Not that I want to hear about what you’ve done with women, but that means you know what to do.” Jeremy grinned widely. “Great.”
Donnie also grinned. “So, you want to have sex with me?”
“Maybe. Someday.” Jeremy shrugged, leaning away, picking up the menu on the table and glancing over the top of it at Donnie.
“Maybe. One day?” Donnie arched his brow, smirking.
“Shut it. I’m still adjusting to all this. It’s not every day the vampire that saves your life turns out to be the only man you’ll ever have sex with again?”
Donnie sat up straight, a frown marring his features. “You want to fuck other men?”
Jeremy lowered the menu, staring at Donnie with his mouth open. “What? No! I was just trying to explain...” Jeremy dropped the menu, staring at Donnie. “You know what? No, I don’t. I’ve got a hand and plenty of lube.”
“That’s good to know.”
“Just order,” Jeremy told him, picking up the menu and looking at it.
Donnie leaned back, watching Jeremy. The way his eyes flickered over the page, his teeth biting his bottom lip. Those same vivid green eyes kept glancing at him, and Donnie moved closer, needing to close the distance between them.
He heard Jeremy’s intake of breath, then did the same thing when Jeremy’s hand slid up his thigh. He glanced at him and their eyes caught and held. His body swayed towards Jeremy’s.
“You’ll show me everything I need to know to make you happy.”
&
nbsp; “Yes,” Jeremy breathed out, his eyes falling to Donnie’s lips.
Donnie’s hand came up, cupping Jeremy’s cheeks. Sudden laughter caused them to jerk apart, and Donnie remembered where they were. A pub wasn’t the place he wanted to be right at that moment.
Coughing, Donnie cleared his throat. “Want to order?”
“I could eat.”
They smiled at each other, and within a few minutes, they’d ordered and sat with a drink. Donnie was relaxing when Jeremy asked, “Does it hurt when you bite someone?”
If he wanted their relationship to work, then he needed to be honest with Jeremy. “If I want it to, yes. With you, never.”
Jeremy looked away. “So, you want to, you know, drink my blood.”
“Fuck, yes.” He sat closer and lowered his voice. “When I’m in you, or you’re in me. I’ll most definitely want to sink my fangs in.” He reached forward, his finger tracing over Jeremy’s neck where his blood pumped. “Right here. When we are as close as can physically be. I’ll sink them in and drink your blood as we move together, and we’ll both enjoy it.”
“Oh,” Jeremy whispered a little breathlessly.
Donnie noticed the faint stain on his cheeks, the slight increase in his pulse and the way his chest moved as he panted. Jeremy liked the idea. He might be scared, but he wasn’t completely against Donnie feeding from him.
“I can make it so pleasurable for you, Jeremy, so intense, but only when you’re ready.”
Jeremy gulped. “How often will you need to feed?”
Leaning back, Donnie said, “That depends on how much energy I expend. Usually once a week or so.”
“How are you feeding now?”
Donnie sighed. “Blood banks mainly and before you...”
“Women.” Jeremy nodded. “I get it, I do. I don’t have to like it.”
“Just like I don’t have to like Patrick. We both have a past.”
Their food arrived, and they both tucked in. They talked about their families, and Donnie laughed at the tales Jeremy told him about his childhood and his brother, Colin. He’d grown up in a loving and supportive family.
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