by Anthology
Lucas took a half day today so I didn’t have to worry about picking Joey up from the after school program. I needed to let off steam before I faced him.
Me: Would you mind getting the kids pizza tonight? I’m meeting Jason for a couple of drinks.
Lucas: Tonight? Yeah, sure. Not like you to go out during the week.
Me: Just catching up with Jason. No big deal.
Samantha Hunter was planning to have a drink after work on a Wednesday night. Why was this front page news? Was I this boring and predictable? God, I needed that drink right the hell now.
* * *
"Okay, O’Rourke. Calm down. None of what you told me raises any red flags. Maybe he wants to surprise you when he finds out for sure. This bitch sounds like a busy body, and you played right into her hands today."
I nodded as I downed my fourth glass of wine. The cheese plate we shared wasn’t absorbing too much of the alcohol. The more I spoke to Jason, the weepier I became.
"I can’t remember the last time we had actual sex. Joey won’t leave us alone at night, but I feel guilty leaving him to sleep alone if he’s scared. Bella’s going on a date so she’s on her way out." I cried into my fresh mozzarella as I rehashed my upsetting home life.
Jason laughed and put his hand over mine. "She’s fourteen, and it’s a school dance. She’s not moving out tomorrow. I know Bella getting older makes you want to hang on to your baby boy a little more, but Joey sleeping between you isn’t helping anybody. Besides, you told me Lucas still paws at you every chance he gets. Pretend it’s the all-consuming, hotter than hell sexual tension of the old days."
I nodded and gnawed on a piece of bread. Yes, the sexual tension of the old days. My rekindled friendship with Lucas while I was still barely unhappily married to Marc flashed through my mind. We were inseparable, and the attraction between us grew to be a palpable force—even when it shouldn’t have been. The memory of Christmas before we were officially together was bittersweet. We were always more than friends, no matter how much we exhausted ourselves pretending otherwise.
"Merry Christmas, Lucas!" I whispered into the phone as to not wake Bella. She spiked a fever Christmas Eve and had been in bed ever since. Poor baby didn’t even get to play with any of her new toys.
"Merry Christmas, Baby Girl! Nice to hear your voice. Are you okay?"
Lucas had texted me ‘Merry Christmas’ earlier this morning, but being alone all day on Christmas was driving me nuts. How many times could I watch holiday movies on the Hallmark Channel without wanting to throw something at all the sappy happiness?
"Yeah, Bella is sick. We couldn’t go over to Marc’s mother’s house so it’s been me and my sleeping girl all day."
Lucas huffed. "You guys are alone? Where’s Marc?"
I chuckled. "Sick kids really aren’t his thing. He’s better off at his mother’s." Not that he was still there. Jeannie had called to check on her granddaughter and mentioned her son left to have a drink with his friend ‘Mel’. The dumbass left his phone laying around enough for me to see ‘Melanie’ flash across the screen quite a bit. The sad part was I didn’t feel the slightest tinge of jealousy. Calling Marc my husband was ludicrous as we sure didn’t have anything remotely close to a real marriage.
"Anyway, how’s your mom and sister? When do you head home?"
"They’re good. I head back to the city tomorrow afternoon. I’m sorry Bella is sick. I wanted to take you guys to Serendipity next week since you’re both off."
My heart skipped a beat. Having Bella meet Lucas, bringing him into our little world, somehow didn’t seem right. That didn’t mean I didn’t want to. Bella would fall as hard for Lucas as I did—I meant like Lucas as much as I did. Shit. What the hell was I doing?
I stared at my Kindle, with the brand new owl cover Lucas gave me as a Christmas present. He knew how much I loved romance novels. In the short time since we reconnected, he knew everything about me. Marc probably couldn’t recall anything other than I was a brunette pain in the ass.
"I’m making use of your gift already. I’ve been spending lots of time with my Kindle today." I let my hand glide across the front. He was a sweet and wonderful man. The woman who was lucky enough to win his love would hit the jackpot. To deny that I wished with all I had that woman would be, or even could be, me, was getting harder with each passing day.
"So now when you read, you can think of me." I could hear the smirk in Lucas’s voice. Little did he know how much I did think of him when I read my racy books. I pictured every new book boyfriend with Lucas’s face.
I cleared my throat to break the long and awkward silence. "I go back January second. I think I can work in a lunch that day. I’m too used to your face every week." I let out a nervous giggle, and heard an audible sigh on the other end.
"Me too, Sam. I . . . miss you." I bit my lip and shut my eyes tight. Three seemingly innocent words that were anything but.
"I miss you too, Lucas. I think Bella is waking up. She’s due for more Tylenol. Text me tomorrow."
"Don’t I always text you good morning, Baby Girl?" He did. And good night. And a hundred times in between.
We hung up and I cuddled into Bella’s side. I had a lot to think about in the New Year. I needed to find the guts to actually take the happiness I wanted instead of only admiring it from afar.
* * *
"Okay, Samantha. C’mon, I’ve got you." Jason took a cab with me all the way to Queens to see my wasted, sorry ass home. I wasn’t a fun drunk at all. After the cab crossed the Fifty-ninth Street Bridge, the waterworks started and increased to steady sobs as we pulled up in front of my house.
I clutched Jason as I stepped out of the cab and a familiar arm snaked around my waist.
"Thanks for getting her home, Jason." My hazy gaze turned to my husband’s concerned stare. "Why don’t you crash on the couch? It’s late."
"Nah, I can take the cab right back into the city. And I think you guys need some privacy." Jason kissed my temple and gave my shoulders a squeeze. "Get some sleep, O’Rourke. We’ll talk tomorrow."
"Thanks, Jason," I sniffled as I started to sober. "I’m so sorry . . ."
"Like this isn’t the first time you got weepy and drunk with me? It takes me back, I feel kinda young tonight. Thanks for the walk down memory lane." I chuckled as Lucas led me back into the house.
"How did you know we were . . . to meet us outside?" I slurred as Lucas unbuttoned my coat and slid it off my arms.
"Jason texted me from the cab. I put Joey’s monitor in my pocket and waited outside when he said he was close."
I nodded and fell limp as Lucas scooped me in his arms and carried me up the stairs.
"Can you take off tomorrow? You’re not a big drinker and you’re going to feel it in the morning." Lucas kicked our bedroom door open.
I shook my head. "Not with the holidays coming up. And if I feel like shit it serves me right."
Lucas lay me on the bed and unzipped my knee high boots one at a time.
"Please tell me what’s wrong. You had me pretty freaked out all night." The tears returned and streamed down my cheeks.
"I’m sorry I’m a terrible wife."
"What?" Lucas stopped dragging my tights down my legs and sat on the edge of the bed. "What the hell would ever make you say that? You’re an amazing wife!"
"No!" I wailed and covered my face. "You didn’t tell me about your new job."
Lucas pulled my hands away from my face and narrowed his eyes at me. "What new job, Baby Girl?"
"Your big promotion. I saw Janet in Macy’s today and she said you told her over sushi. You don’t take me for sushi. I neglect you and you don’t tell me things."
"And you think I’d tell plastic Barbie because I don’t want to tell you? Nothing is definite, and going for Sushi means taking a walk to Bread & Butter on Thirtieth and heading back up to the office to eat at my desk. I couldn’t take that nasally voice for an entire lunch. She tagged along with a few of us. The only reason
Janet knows is because her boss would be my boss and she’s processing the contract. When I do officially get that promotion, the first person I’ll tell is my gorgeous, amazing, very silly wife."
Silly didn’t begin to cover how I felt. Lucas and I were more solid than this. Why was it so easy to fall back into my insecurities?
Lucas gingerly pulled me to sit up by my hands and lifted my sweater dress over my head.
"Can I wear one of your T-shirts?" I used to hijack all of Lucas’s T-shirts at his old apartment. Sleeping in the same bed at times wasn’t close enough, I needed him all around me.
Lucas chuckled as he opened his drawer. "Arms up," he whispered as he slipped his old Derek Jeter shirt over my head. He turned down the sheets and tucked me in bed, then he crawled in and wrapped his arms around me.
I snuggled into his neck and draped my arm over his waist. "My bra is still on."
Lucas let out a long sigh. "I’m a man, after all. I’m trying to not take advantage of the beautiful drunk girl with the huge rack. Taking off your bra will mean all bets are off."
I laughed in to his chest. "I love you, babe. I’m sorry I doubted you. It’s just . . ."
Lucas put his finger over my lips. "The time we spend alone together isn’t enough for you. I’m glad that you’re frustrated, as ridiculous as it sounds. Because I am too. I still daydream about my wife of seven years as if I just met her yesterday. As much as I love our family, I’ll never stop wanting you all to myself. You’ll never stop being the most important person in my life and the first one I want to talk to about everything." He kissed my temple and held me tighter.
"Lucas?" My eyelids became heavy from a combination of the booze and the crying.
"Yeah, Sam?"
"Take me away in January."
I felt his smile against my forehead. "I thought you’d never ask."
Chapter Four
Lucas
December 22
"Hey, Mr. Hunter." I opened my front door to Christian Davis’s sickening smile. I couldn’t believe I was about to let my butterfly leave the house with this punk—yes, I still thought he was a punk—for the night. Even though I came around, I was years away from happy about it.
"Hi, Christian. C’mon in." I held the door open as he wiped his slushy dress shoes on the doormat before he walked into the house. I could do this. I’d be nice, for my daughter’s sake. But being nice didn’t mean I couldn’t be just this side of scary. My mouth turned up in a smirk at the thought as I followed him into the living room.
"Thanks for letting us . . . go tonight. Bella didn’t think you’d say yes when I asked her, so anyway, thanks again." Christian stammered, and I actually felt a little bad for the kid. Maybe the menacing father act was working.
I sucked in my bottom lip and nodded. Christian fumbled with the plastic edges of the corsage box he held as he sat on the couch.
"I’m not thrilled with my daughter going to a sophomore dance when she’s only a freshman, but my wife and Bella seem to like you. I doubt you’ll get out of line in anyway, right?" I sat back on the other side of the couch and cocked an eyebrow at him. I fought the temptation to crack my knuckles for effect.
Christian swallowed and cleared his throat. "No, sir. Bella’s . . . pretty awesome. I don’t get to see her much in school so it’s cool that we get to hang out tonight. We’re at a table with the rest of the guys from my hockey team." A punk and a jock. Fantastic. Although I had to admit, the humble attitude he walked in with softened my resolve a bit. We’d get along fine as long as he kept his stick to himself.
"Hi, Christian. Nice to see you!" Christian stood as Sam made her way over to the couch. She kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his shoulder. "Don’t you look handsome in a suit!"
"Thanks, Mrs. Hunter. You look beautiful, as usual."
Sam chuckled and swatted his arm as I tried not to roll my eyes. See? Punk.
"Bella will be down in a sec. Oh, here she is."
My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t recognize the beautiful girl coming down the steps. Sam showed me the dress right after they bought it, but I didn’t see Bella try it on. Her dark hair fell in waves across her bare shoulders, and when she smiled, she was her mother’s twin. My stomach sank as it hit me. This was the beginning of the end. Sure, it was just a Christmas dance in a school gym, and even though I kept saying ‘just this one night,’ there was no turning back now. I needed to stay in shape; not every guy would be as easy to scare as Christian.
"Wow . . . Bella, you look . . ." Christian’s eyes widened as he walked up to Bella. "Really beautiful . . . wow!"
"Christian, one more ‘wow’ and you’re going to need another corsage because I’m coming with you." I raised my eyebrows as he met my gaze.
"Sorry, Mr. Hunter," he grumbled as Sam and Bella exchanged a smile. "Ready to go? My mom is waiting outside."
"In a minute. Can I talk to you, Dad?"
I nodded and followed her into the kitchen. From the back, this tall girl in modest heels sure as hell didn’t look fourteen. I ran my hand through my hair as I willed myself not to panic. She’d hate me if I said no now.
Bella turned to face me and handed me a small box. "Mom picked this up for you for Christmas, but I wanted to give it to you early. I know you aren’t exactly happy with me going out tonight. I thought this might make you feel a little better."
I took the box from her hand, and found silver butterfly cufflinks inside. I gazed at Bella’s bright smile and wide honey-colored eyes. I would completely ruin the scary father thing I had going with Christian if I started crying, so I swallowed the gigantic lump in my throat. This wasn’t the Bella I first met. I smiled at the memory of a beautiful and bashful little girl taking my hand at the Bronx Zoo and leading me through the Butterfly Garden. My heart squeezed in my chest as I remembered the blue velvet dress and Mary Jane shoes she wore to the Father-Daughter dance I took her to when she was six years old. It didn’t take me long to fall hard for both her and her mother. My life started when they walked into it.
"Dad, are you okay?"
I nodded and pulled her into my arms. "I’m getting there. Thank you. This helps." She gazed up at me and I took her face in my hands. "Now remember what I said, you call me when you get there, and when you get to Megan’s, and . . ."
"You want to speak to Megan’s mother, I remember."
I smiled in spite of myself. "I love you. Just . . . be careful, okay? For the old man?"
Bella giggled. "Yes, I’ll be careful for the ‘old man’. I love you too, Dad." She kissed me on my cheek and sauntered back into the living room.
I followed her inside and watched Christian give her the white rose corsage he’d been fidgeting with since he got here.
Sam snapped a few pictures of them with her phone. She strolled over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Hurts a little, doesn’t it? Seeing her look so grown up."
"No, Baby Girl," I whispered back. "It hurts a lot. But I’m dealing with it." I pressed my lips to Sam’s forehead as I held my gaze on Bella.
"Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Hunter. Don’t worry, we won’t do anything you wouldn’t do." He laughed until he saw the scowl on my face.
"I know you won’t, Christian. And if you do, I have a backyard with a big dirt patch, and neighbors who don’t ask questions." The color drained from Christian’s face and Sam elbowed my side.
"He’s kidding, Christian. Aren’t you, babe?" Sam narrowed her eyes at me and I smiled back as innocently as I could manage.
"Of course." I nodded at Bella, and gave Christian one last threatening glare before they shut the door behind them.
Sam huffed at me. "You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?"
I pulled Sam closer and let out a long sigh. "I sent my daughter to her first dance knowing she's sitting with that punk and the high school’s hockey team tonight, and didn’t jump into the back of Christian’s mother’s car to go with them. What you meant to say was ‘Lucas, you are a w
onderful and understanding man, and you can have it any way you want it tonight’."
Sam laughed and shook her head. "Funny you should mention that . . ."
Chapter Five
Lucas
The chime of the doorbell surprised me. My brow furrowed as Sam strolled over to open the door. Maybe Bella changed her mind and decided to stay home. A man could dream, right?
"We missed her? Stupid traffic!" My mother burst through the door, followed by my sister Jessica.
"Don’t worry, Jenn, I took a few pictures."
My mother rushed over to me. "Hello, sweetheart!"
"Hey, mom." I kissed her cheek. "What are you guys doing here? This is a long ride from upstate just to see Bella dressed up."
"Doing you a favor, big brother." Jessica smirked at me. "Mom is staying at my apartment tonight, and we’re taking Joey."
My eyes grew wide. "You are?"
Joey rushed down the stairs at the sound of his grandmother’s voice and almost knocked her over.
"Samantha asked if I’d like to take Joey for a night. And Bella will be sleeping at a friend’s house, you two can finally have a little alone time. I’m staying with Jessica so I don’t have to go all the way back home. We’ll just drive over the bridge to the Bronx for the night."
"Wait!" I narrowed my eyes and turned to my sister. My neat freak, everything labeled, serial killer-organized sister who somehow agreed to take in a toddler for the night.
Jessica shrugged. "The holiday spirit overtook me, I guess." She huffed and squinted her eyes at me. "And don’t look at me like that. You know I love that kid."
I chuckled and nodded. "Yes, Jess. I know you love your nephew. The mess he’s going to make, I’m not so sure"
"I already told her I’d take care of clean up," Mom interrupted. "And if she gets upset at the mess she can go in the corner and have a drink or something. I’ve been dying to have my grandson overnight and she knows that. Don’t you, dear?"
