by Alice Ward
“I remember she got us ice cream on the way to our hotel. God, it was so much fun. Even though the play was a little boring, the whole experience was priceless. We got to sleep in a hotel and had this amazing breakfast at a cafe in New York. Hell, who does that?” Tammy’s voice cracked. “Who the hell does that? I don’t know, Cat. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to say goodbye to her.”
I burst into tears. We hugged, our feelings huge and overwhelming. Although Ricky was crying, he was desperately trying to steer us in another direction.
“Well, I’ve got a story that’ll have you drying up those tears,” Ricky blurted out.
Even though Ricky had moved next door in the later years of our life, he still knew Gran very well since he visited almost every day.
“I remember when Gran set up target practice in the backyard because raccoons were coming around and eating up all of her vegetables. She told me she never planned on killing one, but she liked shooting the targets to scare them. Well, one night last summer, it was the first really hot spell of the year. I completely forgot about Grandma Oakley shootin’ the coons. She hadn’t done it in a while, so it was off my radar. It was like three in the morning, and I heard all this shooting and yelling. I thought there was a murderer outside my door, so I came out wielding my broom like that was going to stop a bullet. I had it over my head ready to swing. The minute I saw Gran, I remembered her damn raccoon scare tactics. When Gran saw me, she screamed bloody murder. I felt terrible for startling her. I apologized for scaring her and she yelled at me, ‘Put some damn clothes on,’ then it hit me. Oh my god. I was naked, completely buck-ass naked.” Ricky’s face had turned a brighter shade of red as he laughed. “She was like, ‘I don’t need to be seeing that!’”
I laughed at the memory. “She told me you were doing a hippy rain dance in your birthday suit.”
“Well, I thought I was going to confront a murderer. I had to defend my zone, what would you have done?” he questioned sarcastically.
“Put my damn pants on,” Tammy answered.
I bobbed my brows at him. “Apparently, you’re hung like a horse.”
“Why, thank you, Gran,” Ricky blew a kiss out to the sky.
As we continued to talk and drink whiskey and coke, then just whiskey until the wee hours, I realized that we were a family. When the inevitably horrible day that may be lurking before us came, and Gran was gone, I hoped I would still have them, or I wouldn’t have anyone left.
“When she’s gone, I’m gonna be an orphan,” I said sadly, completely drunk off my ass.
“Oh, shut up, drama queen, you’re already my mamma’s daughter. What do you think she’s gonna do, abandon you? Please,” Tammy said with a drunken slur, “you’re her little white baby. We’re always gonna be here for you.” She leaned over and put her arm around me.
“And Rafael and I aren’t going anywhere. Your gay brothers are always gonna be right here, should anything happen. And, girl, Rafael can bake some mean casserole. You’re gonna be eatin’ good, I promise,” Ricky said as he jiggled his stomach, also pretty inebriated.
“I love you guys,” I said, my face contorted into an ugly cry.
I was so hazy and sleepy that all I wanted to do was go to bed. Tammy offered to stay the night, but I told her I was fine. I was too drunk to be good company and drunk enough to fall asleep, which I did the moment they left. I actually fell asleep on the couch, I didn’t want to be in my room.
I was startled to see Gran walk through the door that night. She seemed younger than I remembered her looking and had an angelic aura around her. My heart pounded. I thought I was awake, but wasn’t sure. My unconscious brain was having a hard time deciding what I was doing. But Gran definitely knew why she was there with me in that moment. She looked more healthy and robust than I’d ever seen her and was wearing a cheery smile.
“What are you doing sleeping on the couch, pumpkin? That can’t be good for your back.”
“I’m too drunk to move, Gran,” I confessed.
“Ah, found my whiskey, did you? Hope you left me some. I like a little nightcap from time to time,” she said as she danced around a little.
“Sorry, Gran. We’re probably gonna have to restock.”
“No worries, bet I’ll come home with some sweet pain meds, that Vicodin is like a trip to outer space. I really like that stuff, hope I get a lot of it.” she rubbed her hands together excitedly.
“Gran!” I scolded.
“Whatever, I’m old, the highs are pharmaceutical at this stage. Hurry up and get off the couch. You have to get dressed before he gets here.” She started pushing and tugging at me to get up.
“Who? What?” I was groggy and still pretty drunk and sleepy.
“Prince Charming will be here any minute, silly. Get off the couch so we can get you ready. You don’t want to meet him looking like shit, do you?” She had a fierce look of determination in her eyes.
She got me seated upright on the couch, then put her arms behind her back and whipped out the most gorgeous gown I’d ever seen. It was bright red with flecks of gold and diamond shimmer. The back would plunge to my tailbone, and the front was gorgeously contoured.
“Where did you get this dress?”
“From behind my back.” The sarcasm was real. “Now quickly, put it on.”
As soon as I touched the luscious fabric, the dress was on my body.
“Okay, this is definitely a dream.” I looked at her with a playfully discerning eye.
She looked back at me like I was crazy. “Of course, it’s a dream. What woman doesn’t dream of having a good man in her life?”
“Me, Gran. I never really dreamed of having anyone,” I sadly shared.
Her glance was scolding. “I know. That’s why I’m here. Now let’s get a look at you.”
The dress looked spectacular on me. It had a plunging neckline and swept the floor gracefully when I walked. I twirled, and the gown flowed and danced about me.
“I look gorgeous,” I said in amazement.
“Oh, hell, you didn’t need a dress to tell you that. Now, come here and sit down,” Gran said as she motioned for me to sit at the small vanity table in the foyer.
I sat, and she started to do my hair. Without a curling iron or any hair accessories, she whipped my hair into a lavishly regal style using only her fingers.
“Seriously, Gran, what’s with the bibbidi-bobbidi-boo?”
“This is some fun shit! Who knew.” She seemed giddy as she twirled the long strands of hair into an elaborate design.
“Yeah, who knew you were a fairy all this time? What the hell is happening?”
She stopped, her expression angelic and peaceful.
“Well, it’s not hell, that’s for sure. Maybe it’s heaven or a slice of it, I guess,” she mused.
I panicked and my heart began to race with fear. “Are you dead?”
“Not yet, dear,” she cooed.
“Oh my god.” I knew I wasn’t going to be able to handle any of this.
“Now listen carefully. I want you to find love. It has to be true love, like the kind of love I had for your grandfather. No bullshit. No assholes. I loved that crazy old fucker until the day he died in my arms. Find that kind of love.”
“Gran—”
She shushed me. “When you do find it, every morning you wake up, look at him. Make sure, despite his flaws and the things that make him human, there’s still a glow in your heart for him. There should always be a spark of fire between you. If you ever wake up, and that spark is gone and the fire is dead, you will know you didn’t find the right man. If you wake up and still feel that burning ember within you, no matter what happens and no matter how bad things have gotten, you will know he’s a man worth saving and worth staying in love with.”
“I—”
She shushed me again. “I also want you to follow your dreams and never give up no matter how old you get before you get there. Don’t ever stop before you feel like your wishes,
hopes, and dreams for yourself have been fulfilled.”
“How—”
She lifted a finger, her raised eyebrow shushing this time. “When I’m gone, and no longer with you, I promise you I will haunt you like a ghost. I’ll whoop at you every once in awhile, so you’ll remember that I love you. They’ll be times when you’ll feel me near, and they’ll be times when I’ll feel far away. Don’t be afraid of my death. I’m looking forward to my next adventure because I’ll finally get to be with my own beautiful daughter who I lost so long ago.”
Tears burned my eyes and she pressed a tissue in my hands.
“You’re so much like her, and I have been so lucky to raise you, but it’s time for me to be with her now. I look forward to sitting with her and catching up on everything that’s happened Earth-side. I look forward to telling her all about you and how amazing you are. My love is a never-ending circle, Caitlyn. You’ll have to understand that I love you and move on with your life. I want you to start living.”
No amount of tissues could stanch the flow by the time she was finished.
She kissed my forehead and disappeared. I looked around the room, nervously searching for her. As I searched, I realized I wasn’t in our home anymore. I walked into a candlelit room with breezy white curtains that billowed from floor-length windows. Standing before me, silhouetted in shadows cast by the candlelight at the other end of the massive ballroom, was a man. KP. He wore an exquisite tuxedo.
I laughed and said to myself, “Are you serious, Gran? This guy?”
He approached me, laughing as well. “Yeah, this guy.” He swept me off my feet and into his arms.
He slowly twirled us around, set me down, and bowed. I wanted to sneer at him and scoff, but it was a dream, so I might as well enjoy it as Gran suggested. I reached out my arms and let him lead me across the floor. We started dancing like Belle and the Beast did in the Disney movie, which must have been Gran’s doing because she loved that movie. I didn’t.
Our dance quickly became more seductive as he brought me in closer. Our bodies melted into one another’s, and we moved and gyrated with each other. We weren’t being lewd, but we weren’t being subtle either. Now, I was desperately hoping that Gran wasn’t watching. Everything we did was foreplay. The way our bodies oozed over and teasingly moved against the other’s was titillating my nerves, creating searing tension.
As soon as the music ended, KP leaned in for a kiss. It was warm and seductive. The pull to his embrace, deep and magnetic. He offered his hand once again and walked me out of the ballroom and into a bedroom down the hall. I tried not to snicker. But dream KP seemed very serious and extremely intent on getting me into that room, which was opulent and alluring. Once inside, he turned me around and kissed the back of my neck as he slowly unzipped my beautiful gown. As it dripped down my shoulders, he sprinkled kisses from the nape of my neck to my shoulder blades, sucking and nibbling as he went, making me squirm. He then slipped my dress down to my waist and used his fingers and the palms of his hands to trace the landscape of my back.
His fingers nimbly danced along the edges of my bra strap.
“May I?” he whispered in my ear, being a gentleman.
“Mmm,” was all that came out, as I was shockingly bad at this kind of seduction.
Even the dream me was a dork in the bedroom, but dream KP didn’t seem to care as he deftly removed my bra and tossed it to the floor. He then shifted me so that I was facing him as he looked at my body. I blushed and tried to push him away.
“Don’t,” he commanded, “you’re beautiful.”
I giggled nervously. “I just, this is so weird.”
“Is this weird?” he asked as he kissed my lips gently.
“No,” I sighed.
“Or this?” he said as he kissed my cheek softly.
I shivered. “Um, pretty G-rated.”
“Oh?” He leaned in and took one of my aching nipples into his mouth and tugged slightly with his teeth.
I moaned, no words necessary.
He then moved to the other nipple as he wriggled me out of the dress, hooking his fingers into my panties as he slid the whole garment off. Within seconds, I was completely bared to him, naked and vulnerable.
“I never do this,” I confessed.
“You aren’t doing it, I am,” he cooed as he kissed his way down to my stomach, sending lightning bolts of electricity through my whole body.
“Ahhhh,” I whimpered.
He continued down to my legs and inner thighs, spreading them carefully so that I was completely exposed to him. He then stood and carried me to the bed, laying me down gently upon it.
“Tell me this isn’t happening!” I rasped.
“It’s not happening,” he answered as he tossed off his tuxedo jacket and unbuttoned his shirt, “so enjoy it.”
He had a good point. I let myself relax a little. As soon as he was undressed, he lay beside me, kissing me again. I opened my mouth, and his tongue danced with mine. He tasted sweet and felt strong and commanding as he explored places where only his kisses had been. His soft palms grazed over my breasts, flooding me with heat and prickling sensations. His hand drifted slowly down to the place that was aching for his touch. I pushed myself up to meet his wandering fingers, but he remained slow and methodical.
“So eager.”
“It’s a dream, we can get to the good stuff without penalty,” I panted, arching into his hand.
“But this is the good stuff,” he said as his fingers traced patterns over my skin, igniting a fire within me.
“Ahhhh.” I was back to guttural sounds again.
He smiled. “Is this what you want?” he asked as his finger slowly slipped lower and touched the folds of my neglected lady parts.
I closed my eyes. “Better.”
“How about this?” he asked playfully as he parted my legs and slipped down between them.
A rough sizzle of electricity traveled across my skin as he tasted me. His hot tongue poured over my delicate folds, gently lapping between them as rockets of sensations flew about me recklessly. He started a gentle circular motion that had my insides in knots, making me want to explode. It both tickled and burned, making me ache all over for more. When his tongue thrust inside of me, wet and hard, I gasped and shattered.
“Oh my god!” I cried as his tongue continued to lap up my ecstasy.
He stopped for a moment as I cooled down a little.
“I like being called a god,” he teased.
“You can’t do that with your tongue,” I scolded playfully.
There was a devil under his expression. “Watch. Feel.” He accepted my challenge, bathing my pussy with his mouth.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I grabbed his hair and begged. “Please!”
“Please?” He flashed me another sinister sneer. “Please what?”
I lifted my hips, reaching for him. “I need you inside of me.”
“I’ll be there in due time, my dear,” he said as he replaced his tongue with his agile fingers.
He played with the soft tufts of curls above my pussy, making me arch into his gentle assault. As his fingers swirled around me, his lips returned to my nipples that had been longing for him again. As his mouth caressed and tugged, his fingers dove downwards and teased my clit with their expert skill. His fingers teased and circled my sensitive nub, escalating my ecstasy as his mouth made music on my body. Without warning, he inserted a finger inside of me and sent bolts of lightning through my mind, body, and soul.
As his finger coursed in and out of me, I kissed his mouth, his strong shoulders, and his soft neck. My hot kisses sought out his chest and found his nipples. I lapped and tugged them with my teeth until he cursed, his fingers driving into me harder as his breath heaved in and out of his lungs.
“I think it’s time,” he panted as he slid off his dress pants and briefs, positioned himself above me, and spread my legs farther apart.
My body shivered with need, and I could feel t
he strength of his body and the thickness of his cock as he ran it up my wet slit. His dick was hard and commanding as it slammed into my pussy, making me cry out in surprise and ecstasy.
“Are you okay?”
I clung to him, lifting my hips, wanting more. “Please.”
“Good.” In one deep thrust, he was fully seated, deep within me.
I wailed as my body stretched and adapted to his size, and the exquisite feeling of his fullness. He kissed me, his weight pressing me into the mattress, our mouths expressing our desire for each other as he started a slow rhythm, moving in and out of my body with a torturous deliberateness that teased and taunted my already ravaged nerves. I clawed at his back, trying to get him to increase his pace, and he understood my desire as his moans punctuated his same heady need.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said as he picked up speed, lifting my legs until they were over his shoulders, changing the angle of penetration. As he dove into me deeper and harder, I shattered and came, quivering and writhing on him. I quaked with the power of my climax and my pussy clenched with delight, sending him to his release, which was hot and glorious. We both lay with one another, basking in the glow of our love.
He kissed the tip of my nose. “I think I love you.”
I snuggled closer. “You better.”
As I closed my eyes, a loud chiming sound startled me. I tried to shake off the irritating noise, but it was incessant. Slowly, my heavy eyelids cracked open and morning light filtered in. Morning? My brain tried to unscramble the sensations assaulting me. I felt the wetness of my climax coating my inner thighs and warm memories of my night with the mysterious billionaire flooded back to me. I then stopped cold as I bolted upright on the couch.
I looked around the room, flustered, bedraggled, and panting from what I realized only at that moment had only been a dream. I actually climaxed in my sleep. I chided myself for not making finding a boyfriend more of a priority. Because maybe if I had one, I wouldn’t be dreaming of having sex, I would actually be having it. I picked up my phone and silenced the alarm. I was hungover and desperately needed water, aspirin, greasy eggs, hashbrowns, and toast. Getting those things was more important than unraveling the tangle my brain was in.
