by Colt, Shyla
“Shadow?”
The sleep filled voice came from the living room. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I make out Blue’s form sprawled on the couch.
“Yeah. Are you okay?”
“I should be asking you that,” she says. She stands and walks toward me wrapped up in a blanket. “I heard Chaos got searched and then you guys had church, so I couldn’t get a hold of you.”
I smile. “Were you worried about me, baby?” I ask, gently pinching her chin.
“Yes. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, babe, just exhausted. Nothing a good shower and a night of sleep won’t fix.”
“What about your probation?” she whispers.
The worry in her voice touches me. She’s not as unaffected as she pretends to be. “It’s fine. There was nothing to find.” I rub my thumb over her cheek. “Now that I have you, I’m not going anywhere.”
She wraps her arms around my waist and buries her face in my neck.
I hold her, soaking in the affection and acceptance. For once, she’s not fighting me and allowing the connection between us to flow unchecked. When she buries her fingers in my hair I shiver.
She stands up on her tiptoes and places gentle kisses on my face. “I was so scared I’d lost you today when the text came about Chaos. I can’t lie. You scare me—this thing between us is passionate, overwhelming, and everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s not in my nature to go after what I want in spite of what others think, but I’m ready to learn.”
I bend down and capture her lips. I thrust my tongue into her mouth, taking it the way I’m going to take her pussy. She moans, and opens to me like the good girl I know she can be. I yank the blanket from her and toss it to the ground, then move her toward the couch. We pull apart and I kneel in front of her. I slip my hands under her gown, hook my thumbs in her panties, and pull them down her shapely stems.
She steps out of her underwear.
I inhale her fragrance. “Put your leg over my shoulder and onto the couch, baby.” I cup her ass and together, we find a balance. I lick a path up her slit and groan. “How can you taste this good? You’re the best fucking desert I’ve ever had.” I flick her clit with my tongue and she grinds her hips against my face. I continue to tease her, lapping up the sweetness as it flows from her center. I bump her swollen bundle of nerves, and dive in. Pushing as deep inside of her as I can, I feast on her.
She digs her nails in my scalp and pumps her hips.
Her whimpers and moans drive me to push her closer to the edge. I want to watch her fall apart and listen to her cry my name. I hum and she goes wild. Her muscles contract around my tongue.
Her fingernails dig into my forearm. “Oh, Shadow.” She let’s go and gives me a fresh gush of cream.
I swallow her down, clean her with my tongue, and kiss the area above her pubic bone. “You’re sleeping in my bed tonight.” I stand and lift her into my arms. “After we shower.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, and for a second—shit is right with the world.
Chapter Nine
Light of my Life
Blue
“Your long drink of water coming to pick you up today?”
I look up at Jennifer and smile shyly. “Maybe.”
She laughs. “I love you like this.” Her cerulean eyes dance with mirth and her pink lips peel back to reveal a dazzling smile. Strands of blonde hair fall across one eye and she blows it back.
We’re having an in service day, which basically means paperwork, endless meetings, and now, revamping our rooms. Since we both have ages two to three, we work together. It’s easier to share a theme. I do part of the design, she does the other, and we come together to put it up. The two of us clicked from day one, and I have no problem admitting she’s my favorite co-worker.
“Like what?” I ask, glancing down from the chair I’m balanced on to staple on the tiny sailboats onto our water themed board that has us, ‘Sailing into Learning during the summer.’
“Happy. Like deep down, glowing skin, bright eyes, make me sick to my stomach full of joy.”
Her colorful words make me laugh. “What was I before?”
“I don’t know, not this,” she replies.
“Jamie and I weren’t right for each other. Shadow…he gets the things about my life that mystify everyone else.” I shrug. “Maybe that’s what it is.”
“Maybe. Did Shadow chase him off? I haven’t seen him whisking you off for lunches trying to get back into your good graces.”
I scoff. “He was never out of my good graces. I just couldn’t give him what he wanted. Hell, I’m not sure I can give that to Shadow either.”
“Are you kidding? A fine looking man like that? I’d give him everything he wanted and more.” Jennifer wags her eyebrows.
I laugh. “If it was just that. It’d be easy.”
“Then what is it?” she asks.
“When I figure out the jumbled mess that are my thoughts, I’ll let you know. Anyone in your life?” I question, switching the subject.
“No. I’ve been on a few dates, but there’s no spark. It’s like they have the personality of a wet dishcloth. Yuck.”
I snicker. “You’re a baby, anyways. You have plenty of time.”
“I don’t know, twenty-five is pretty long in the tooth.”
I can’t contain the laughter that wells up and bubbles out. “You are so crazy, you know that?”
“I may have been told that a time or two,” she says, handing me another sailboat. “What’s he like?”
“Shadow? He’s not what you’d expect. I know he looks gruff, mean, and rude. But he’s caring, protective, and…well, sweet when he wants to be.”
“He know you refer to him as sweet?” she asks.
“Please, he’d be thrilled,” I say waving my hand flippantly.
“Interesting. Whatever he’s doing, I know it’s working for you. That’s all I care about.”
“That’s because you rock. It’s Friday. What are you up to for the weekend?” I ask.
“Sofa city with a pint of ice cream.”
“Seriously?” I arch an eyebrow. The girl is normally a social butterfly.
“Hey, I like a little me time every now and then,” she replies.
“Nothing wrong with that,” I agree.
“What about you?”
“No clue. I think there’s a party happening this weekend. Shadow has to work late, so we might catch the tail end of it. Ruthie and I have plans to do dinner and a movie this weekend. Her job’s been insane, and I’ve missed her.”
“You and him are amazing together. No lie, you could pull off your own show.”
“I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult,” I muse.
“Trust me, it’s a good thing.” Jennifer nods.
We continue to pimp our room and chat back and forth. It’s always nice to get an in service day and step away from the hands-on. The switch is almost therapeutic for me right now. My mind has been plagued with questions, and things with Shadow are growing more serious by the second. He’s got me in his bed at night, and I’m watching more and more of my things appear in his bedroom. I’m happy. However, the nagging doubts, insecurities, and unanswered questions are eating me alive from the inside out. We’ve kept things under wraps so far, per my request, but I know he’s getting tired of it.
My father would tell me to shit or get off the pot. I find myself longing for some one-on-one with my old man. With things going on in the club, I’ve barely seen him. Club business isn’t shared with us, but we can tell when they’re circling the wagons. The hours have gotten longer, security is heightened, and women are being told to watch for strangers or people we know asking too many questions. After the upset with Fuse, the last thing we need is another internal affair. The fact is, rats happen more than people want to admit.
Not everyone can hold up under pressure, and from time to time, the cops lean on us. They’re like sharks in the water. Once they scent
blood, they’ll go in for the kill. I wonder why we’re suddenly on their radar. Usually, they keep to themselves and we do the same. I can’t help but wonder who upset the balance. Maybe someone new has a hard-on for a big take down. Clearly, they didn’t do their homework. We aren’t sloppy, stupid, or without one hell of a lawyer.
I leave work a few hours earlier than usual, but I’m drained nonetheless. I sit outside and grin when the familiar Harley roars its way up the road and enters the parking lot. He’s always right on time. It’s a trait I admire. He’s not a man who shirks his responsibility like some of the brothers.
He pulls up to the curb. “Hey, beautiful. How was your day?”
“Long.” Grinning, I hand him my purse.
After securing it in his saddlebag, he winks at me. “Let’s see what I can do to help you relax at home.”
I step onto the foot peg, swing my leg over, and climb on behind him. “I can think of a few things,” I say into his ear as I wrap my arms around his waist, and squeeze him with my thighs.
“Don’t get me riled up, babe. I don’t want you to lose your job and me to go back to the pen for indecent exposure.”
The thought of him taking me out in the open makes my panties wet. There’s something intoxicating about a man who wants me so badly, he’ll take me anytime, and any place.
We pull up in front of the house and I climb off. “Not coming in?” I ask as he hands me my bag.
“Nah, I need to go over some things with Skull before I start my shift. You coming by later with your girl?”
“Yeah, we’ll come over for dinner and drinks after our movie.”
“I’ll be looking for you.” He smoothes my hair back from my face and kisses my head.
The tender moments at his hands amazes me. That someone so large and intimidating could have the softest touch I’ve ever known, astounds me. I’m slightly dazed as I enter the house. How much longer can you keep playing house without taking his claim? It was almost disrespectful living this half life. Being an Old Lady was an honor, and I knew he wanted it, but I avoid any conversation that so much as hints at it. This could be my every day if I got it together.
I lower my head and close my eyes. They say you should never ask questions you don’t want the answers to, yet here I am about to knock on the devil’s door. Nothing good ever comes from listening to Calla’s ranting. But she’s gotten into my head with her toxin and it’s rotting my brain. I have no choice but to investigate. Deep down, I always knew something in my family wasn’t quite right. That our dynamics were grossly imbalanced for a reason. I pull out my phone.
“Everything okay, baby girl?” my father asks.
“No, Dad, it’s not.”
“I need to put a boot up someone’s ass?” he snarls.
I laugh. “No. I just need to talk to you about family crap. You have the time today?”
“Yeah, come on by the house.”
“Is Mom there?” I ask.
“She’s out on one of her shopping sprees.”
“Perfect. I’ll be over in ten.” I sprint to my room, kick off my flats, strip down, put on jeans and a tank top then the slip-ons. In casual gear, I hurry out of the house. I want to see Bolt before he leaves with his best friend for the weekend. We’ve fallen into an easy rhythm, and the incident at his school has brought us closer together.
“What’s this family crap you need to talk to me about?” Dad asks.
I perch on the edge of the couch and lace my fingers together to give them something to do. “It’s something Calla said the last time I went to visit her.”
Dad sighs and rubs his temple. “All that girl does is cause problems.”
“Look, Dad, I know. She’s bitter and hateful, I get that. But there was something about this that rang true. What’s different about me and her?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, I knew this shit was going to come back and bite me in the ass. As much as I tried to keep this shit under wraps, the past never stays where it belongs.”
My stomach drops. “Dad? She wasn’t lying?”
“For once, no.” He wipes his lips with his hands. “See, this is the shit that drives me crazy. You girls are like a riddle I can’t find the answers to. The hormonal touch feely shit. Uh-uh.” He paces the length of the room. “This is why I let your mother handle it, but she did you wrong. I knew it, but I didn’t have any better suggestions. And I wanted what was best for you. The both of you.”
“Daddy?”
“I never wanted Calla to know she wasn’t mine.”
The air is stolen from my lungs. My head spins. “Not yours?”
“Your mom and me. We did our dancing around one another. There were no definite commitments and she had a heart divided. I might’ve considered sharing her if it wasn’t him.”
I know the way things work, woman swapping isn’t uncommon. It’s not for everyone, but the disgust in his voice tells me there was something wrong about the man.
“Who’s him, Dad?”
“Battle.”
My jaw drops.
Battle is a patched brother who’s a living legend. Locked up in the high security penitentiary, he was in for life after he went down for a case of murder no lawyer could get him out of. The blood lust crazy bastard was the warning to patched members about going too far. He crossed a line and never came back from it.
“You see why I kept it from her. That sick son of a bitch. If he ever got wind of the truth, we’d all be up shit creek.” His voice is low and gravelly. “I could get my ink taken for this, fucking with a brother’s family. But your mother begged me to take Calla on as mine and put my last name behind her, so I did.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah. That whole family is off. I’m always looking at her wondering if this shit is just in her blood. It’s awful I know, but I can’t help it.”
“How did she find out?”
“The damndest thing. The one fucking time she pays attention in school we end up in a total shit storm. She gets our blood type for a project. I’m A+ and your mom is AB+, she’s O positive. It ain’t possible. Nothing we could say in the face of that.”
“No one knows?”
“And they can’t.” He narrows his eyes and his voice lowers to a gravelly growl.
“Dad, I get that. I just…” I shake my head.
“Once she found out, she went off the rails and held the threat over us. We had to handle her with kid gloves. There was so much at risk and she was too young and immature to fully grasp it. I wanted to ring her damn neck. But I had to keep my distance, so I let the corralling fall to you. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best we could swing. Your mom felt so got damn guilty, she bent over backward to kiss Calla’s ass, making the entire thing worse. What the girl needed was an ass whooping and a wakeup call years ago.”
“And now?”
He shakes his head. “No she’s behind bars getting even crazier than she already was. But when she gets out, Bolton will be a man. Hopefully, she’ll have grown the fuck up, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting on that shit.”
Suddenly, so much made sense. I rest my hands on my thighs as I try to take it all in. My entire life I’d suffered because of an unfortunate birthright. “Why didn’t you tell us or me? All this time she knew and I was in the dark. Do you know what it was like for me being in her shadow? It felt like I was trying to undo all the bad she did. I didn’t get to be a teenager. You’re all about living free, and you doomed me to live in a cage of your making.” I jump up from the couch. “This is bullshit.”
“Girl, you better watch your tone. I didn’t want this. I should’ve stopped it earlier. I admit it. Guilt makes you do a lot of things. Part of me liked that you were on the up and up. I had a lot of pride for your accomplishments. But I never knew you felt the weight like this.”
“I thought I had to be perfect. Do you know what that feels like? The weight of the world on tiny shoulders. God! I feel like I haven’t ever lived and I’m almost in
my mid-thirties. I can’t believe you kept this from me. All this time, I wondered what I did to make her hate me.”
“It was never you.”
Fury made me see red. “I’ve wasted so much time and energy on this. No more. I will never be that perfect shell of a person again. You hear me?” I stand up from the couch. “I’m going to live my life how I see fit, and you aren’t going to say shit about it.”
My father holds out his hands. “That’s all I ever wanted for you.”
“You had a real shitty way of showing it, Dad. All I ever wanted to do was please you and make you and Mom proud. But it was like, no matter what, Calla was the star. She got all the attention, and anytime she didn’t fuck up…she was lavished with praise. Me? I was expected to do that, it was no big deal. Just Bluebell being Bluebell. I mean, why wouldn’t she be perfect? Little Miss Book Worm with her prim and proper edict. I didn’t fit into the civilian world and I didn’t fit into our world. It was a lonely place. For better or worse, I can’t live there anymore.”
“Babe, no one was asking you to do that in the first place.”
“Yeah, you were. Not in so many words, but here,” I gesture toward his eyes, “I saw it daily. You tell Mom I knew. I always thought she liked Calla better.”
“It was never about that.”
“Yeah, I get it. Guilt is a hell of a thing.”
My dad grits his teeth.
I know I’m pushing his buttons. He’ll let me have a little more leeway before he reels me in. It’s not him I’m angry at, not really. Mom placed him in a precarious situation and he did the best he could with it, and with my volatile sister.
“Did you always know? You said she asked you to play along and you did. But I got to tell you, Pop, it doesn’t sound much like you.”
