One of Us is F@#*in' Crazy - Letters to Great Americans

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One of Us is F@#*in' Crazy - Letters to Great Americans Page 11

by Andy Bain


  Sincerely

  Andy Bain

  PS Any chance of a signed photo? I have enclosed $20 in case you can oblige.

  ***********

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  Bracewell & Giuliani

  Rudolph Giuliani

  1177 Avenue of the Americas

  19th Floor

  New York, New York

  10036-2714

  August 11, 2008

  Dear Mr. Giuliani,

  Are you aware of the despicable attacks made on you by one Glenn Greenwald in his recently published book, ‘Great American Hypocrites’?

  On Page153 Greenwald writes “[Giuliani] obtained one deferment after the next – including one under highly questionable circumstances - to ensure that he did not have to fight for his country, instead sending other Americans off to die.”

  Quoting Salon he continues, “Upon graduation from law school in 1968…his draft status reverted to1-a, the designation awarded to those most qualified for induction into the army…Giuliani won a clerkship with federal judge Lloyd McMahon…he quickly applied for another deferment based on his judicial clerkship. This time the Selective Service System denied his claim…the desperate Giuliani prevailed upon his boss to write to the draft board, asking them to grant him a fresh deferment and reclassification as an “essential” civilian employee.”

  Greenwald then writes, “The very idea that a law clerk for a federal judge – fresh out of law school – is “essential” in any way is absurd…”

  Rudy, next the real poison.

  “…in September 2007, Giuliani published a lengthy article in Foreign Affairs …and this Vietnam-era draft dodger had the audacity to cite America’s lack of resolve in finishing that war as a major cause of weakness”

  Rudy, Greenwald paints you as a pathetic chickenhawk who ‘hid’ while real patriotic young men served and died.

  No doubt you will sue this scoundrel. I would consider it a personal honor if you would accept the enclosed $20 towards your costs.

  Sincerely

  Andy Bain

  PS Any chance of a signed photo for my eight-year-old son?

  ************

  Giuliani Partners LLC

  5 Times Square

  New York ny 10036-6530

  August 19, 2008

  Mr. Andy Bain

  3500 Amaranthus Court

  Charlotte, North Carolina 28269

  Dear Mr. Bain:

  Thank you for contacting Giuliani Partners. I have enclosed a signed photograph of Mr. Giuliani for your son, as well the twenty dollars that you sent to our office. Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated.

  Best wishes.

  Sincerely,

  Noelle Campbell

  Director of Correspondence

  **********

  Carolinas for Responsible American Power

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  August 20, 2008

  All American Speakers.com

  Laura Cutler

  REDACTED.

  Durham, NC 27707

  Dear Ms. Cutler,

  ‘Carolinas for Responsible American Power’ is a non-partisan citizens group that seeks to raise awareness on our country’s immense power and our concomitant responsibilities.

  We would like to invite former Under Secretary of Defense for Policy Mr. Douglas Feith to address the plenary session of our 2009 Annual General Meeting.

  I would be grateful if you could let me know ASAP as to Mr Feith’s availability (we can be flexible on the date) and normal fee.

  As to the subject of the address, we will be guided by Douglas’ advice but as you know he was the head of the Pentagon’s Policy organization prior to the Iraq War and was able to counter the unpatriotic timidity and misinformation peddled by the US intelligence community. Perhaps he could say a few words on that subject.

  Our members will be receive the following leaflet:

  SPEAKER: DOUGLAS FEITH

  FORMER UNDER SECRETARY OF DEFENSE FOR POLICY

  "Doug Feith…is without question, one of the most brilliant individuals in government." DONALD RUMSFELD

  “Stupidest f--king guy on the planet” GENERAL TOMMY FRANKS

  I have enclosed $20 as a first installment towards Douglas’ remuneration. There is plenty more where that came from.

  Support President Bush

  Sincerely yours,

  Andy Bain

  Secretary

  Carolinas for Responsible American Power

  ************

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  August 20, 2008

  Senator Harry Reid

  Lloyd D. George Building

  333 Las Vegas Boulevard, South

  Suite 8016

  Las Vegas, NV 89101

  Dear Senator Reid,

  I am reading your marvelous new book, ‘The Good Fight – Hard Lessons From Searchlight to Washington’. Candidly, books by public servants can often be a wee bit desiccated and tedious so I approached your tome with some trepidation, especially given the unprepossessing, hangdog photo of you they inexplicably choose to use on the cover.

  But not a bit of it - a roller coaster read from almost the first page. Bravo Harry!

  I particularly enjoyed the anecdote of your trip, in 2004, to Bethesda naval hospital to visit wounded Marines. You wrote,

  “A soldier…had two badly injured legs. One leg was held in the air by a pulley contraption. The other was badly disfigured. “We need to get you better-armored vehicles,” I told him.

  “Fuck the new vehicles,” he said. “I was blown through the top of my Stryker. And look at me. We don’t need new vehicles. We need to get out of Iraq. Now”

  That bluff, naïve young man probably cannot comprehend the labyrinthine politics that have necessitated you and your Democratic colleagues continuing to vote for funding for the carnage right into 2008. He, like many, no doubt consider it political cowardice that motivates the Democrats, but Harry the troops must have the better armor even if they would just rather come home.

  The other striking story you recount is your 2005 trip to Baghdad and the mendacious briefing you got from General David Petraeus. You wrote, “[His] report was glowing. The training is going spectacularly well, he said…This thing is in good shape. The Iraqi army is standing up.”

  “But it did not take long for us to learn that what he told us was not actually the case at all. This tends to give one a jaundiced view of such reports going forward.”

  Senator, beautifully put - understated but leaving no one in any doubt that you consider Generals to be a bunch of duplicitous bastards. Well done, Harry. A great book!

  Keep up the good work

  God Bless America

  Sincerely

  Andy Bain

  PS I enclose twenty bucks. Could you slip it to Senator Ted Stevens the next time you bump into him on the floor. Tell him it’s from me for his legal costs. We don’t need any more politicians in prison. Harry, as a man of the world, you will agree with me that if the affairs of any Senator was scrutinized with sufficient vigor few of them would find themselves outside US correctional facilities.

  ************

  Harry Reid (Embossed Crest of the Senate) Majority Leader

  NEVADA

  United States Senate

  Washington, D.C. 20510

  September 9, 2008-09-15

  Mr. Andy Bain

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, North Carolina 28269

  Dear Mr. Bain:

  This is in response to your letter to Senator Reid dated August 20, 2008. We are returning the $20.00 bill you enclosed in the letter asking Senator Reid to give to Senator Ted Stevens for his legal defense.

  Sincerely,

  (Signed) Marge Van Hoove

  Marge Van Hoove

  Executive assistant to Senator Harry Reid


  ***********

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  August 20, 2008

  Michael Scheuer

  Georgetown University

  Center for Peace Studies

  Box 571029

  Mortara Building

  Washington, DC 20057-1029

  Dear Mr. Scheuer,

  I wrote to you back in April but did not receive the courtesy of a reply. Fair enough. You are a busy man. But never let it be said that Andy Bain bears a grudge. Here’s another twenty bucks - have a drink on me!

  Michael, I have been rereading your hefty tome, ‘Marching Toward Hell’ and on page 257, discussing the porosity of our borders you trenchantly write,

  “…an effective network of fences, trenches, watch towers, radars and – if necessary – minefields can be built in a crash program along the Canadian and Mexico borders.”

  I, and I am sure Lou Dobbs the obese CNN ideologue, have no problem with minefields on the Mexican border. I am even willing to contemplate missile-armed drones, cluster bombs and White Phosphorus to deal with Hispanics (except Cubans, obviously) on our southern border.

  But, for Christ’s sake Michael, many Canadians are White Anglo-Saxon Protestants. I know you are of the Roman persuasion and so are fully justified in taking a profligate attitude to Latin Americans. But are you seriously relaxed about the inevitable international incidents that will occur when hordes of inebriated Canucks stagger into our 5,525 mile ‘Maginot Line’ and are blown to smithereens?

  We are not talking about Iraqis you know! Get a grip man.

  Sincerely

  Andy Bain

  ************

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  September 15, 2008

  General David Petraeus

  US Central Command

  7115 South Boulevard

  MacDill AFB

  Florida, FL 33621-5101

  Dear General Petraeus,

  Are you aware of the outrageous ad hominem attack on you in Senator Harry Reid’s recent book, ‘The Good Fight – Hard Lessons From Searchlight to Washington’?

  Apropos a briefing you gave during his 2005 trip to Baghdad Reid writes, “[Petraeus’] report was glowing. The training is going spectacularly well, he said…This thing is in good shape. The Iraqi army is standing up.”

  “But it did not take long for us to learn that what he told us was not actually the case at all. This tends to give one a jaundiced view of such reports going forward.”

  General, I am sure you appreciate the full gravity of this understated, yet poisonous attack.

  Harry Reid is accusing our greatest warrior of being a bloviating, duplicitous, slippery customer. [Unfortunately, the continuing farcical military prowess of the Iraqi Army tends to lend gravitas to the Majority Leader’s glum analysis.]

  Being sure you will sue this gross libel I enclosed $20, which I hope you will accept towards your legal costs.

  David, as I am sure you are aware Senator Reid is ‘a bear of very little brain’. Of course we want 4-star Generals who are cunning i.e. ingenious and who are slippery i.e. unpredictable. Predictable dullards are what got us into this shambles in Iraqi e.g. Generals Powell, Myers, Pace, Casey, Sanchez and Franks, [I exclude General Abizaid from this list as I understand, like you, he isn’t as dopey as he looks.]

  Sincerely

  Andy Bain

  ***********

  UNITED STATES CENTRAL COMMAND

  OFFICE OF THE COMMANDER

  7115 SOUTH BOUNDARY BOULEVARD

  MACDILL AIR FORCE BASE, FLORIDA 33621-5101

  1 NOV 2008

  Mr. Andy Bain

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, North Carolina 28269

  Dear Mr. Bain,

  Please find enclosed the twenty dollars that you included with your letter to General Petraeus. Though the General did receive and read your letter, he is unable to keep the money that you sent.

  If you have any questions please contact me at [email protected].

  Sincerely

  Bjarne M. Iverson

  Colonel, United States Army

  Executive officer to the Commanding General

  **********

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  June 30, 2010

  Michael Gerson

  Senior Fellow

  Council on Foreign Relations

  1777 F Street, NW

  
Washington, DC 20006

  Dear Mr. Gerson,

  Can I commend your refreshing article in today’s Washington Post on the subject of politically motivated “verbal violence”? As a life-long conservative I’m pleased to find myself in full agreement with President George W. Bush’s chief speechwriter!

  Who could fail to be revolted by WAPO blogger David Weigal writing, when Rush Limbaugh went to hospital with chest pains, “I hope he fails” and “Matt Drudge is a shut-in” who should “set himself on fire”.

  Or Mike Malloy saying Glenn Beck “should do the honorable thing and blow his brains out.” This Malloy will look awfully silly when the clearly unstable Beck does pull an Ernest Hemingway.

  Imagine my shock then, when I showed my son, who is studying journalism, your article and he went berserk shouting,

  “When this buffoon Gerson was writing fiction for Dubya he came up with “Axis of Evil” and “the smoking gun, coming in the form of a mushroom cloud” that led to real, as opposed to verbal, violence. That led to one million dead Iraqis and torture and sexual humiliation of prisoners at Abu Ghraib. And now this effete, religious nutjob wants to lecture us on political rudeness!?! He makes me want to barf in a bucket!”

  I was stunned but, unfortunately, I was unsure how to counter his un-American outburst. (Don’t know where we went wrong with him.) Michael, how would you answer my unpatriotic son?

  Please find enclosed a SAE and $10 (Don’t expect you to reply gratis!)

  Hope to hear from you.

  Yours Sincerely

  Andy Bain

  PS. I’m missing President Bush already!

  ***********

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  July 5, 2010

  Fred Hiatt

  Editorial Page Editor

  The Washington Post

  1150 15th Street, NW

  
Washington, DC 20071

  Dear Mr. Hiatt,

  Delighted to read your article yesterday on the state of Freedom and Democracy internationally, especially as my 12 year old, Becky, has just completed a school project on that very subject.

  She took your piece to her room to read. Later I enquired what she thought of it. I was bamboozled when she replied: -

  “Dad, there’s something fishy about it”!

  “When Mrs. Robinson set our project on ‘Democracy around the World’ she made a big thing of using reputable sources…so Laura (Becky’s BFF) and I used, Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch and the UN Human Rights Council…this journalist only uses one source – something called ‘Freedom House’ …I just looked it up on Wikipedia and they admit they are 66% funded by the US government and in 2005 the Chairman was James Woolsey the former Director of the CIA so there might be some clandestine funding too!”

  I said, “I hardly think Mr. Hiatt, a Senior American journalist, would waffle like a moron in a national newspaper unless his sources were unimpeach…’

  She laughed derisively, “Dad, this article is just regurgitated propaganda from the government!”

  Fred, how can I persuade a skeptical child that ‘Freedom House’ is not just a bunch of taxpayer funded establishment toadies?

  Please find enclosed a SAE and $10 (I know journalists won’t work for free – any chance of a signed photo for Becky?).

  Yours Sincerely

  Andy Bain

  ************

  THE WASHINGTON POST

 
; 1150 15th Street, NW, Washington, DC 20071

  Dear Mr. Bain,

  If you are a believer in democracy, why are you so disdainful of the government that your compatriots have elected?

  Enclosed please find your $10.

  FH.

  (Received 28 July, 2010)

  ************

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  July 28, 2010

  Fred Hiatt

  Editorial Page Editor

  The Washington Post

  1150 15th Street, NW

  
Washington, DC 20071

  Dear Fred,

  Delighted to receive your charming reply in this mornings post.

  You seem to accept that ‘Freedom House’ is indeed a clumsy front for US state propaganda but when they pump out any old horse manure a patriot must just gullibly swallow it.

  The US government happily supports blood-drenched torture dictatorships like Egypt, Iran under the Shah, Saudi Arabia, Argentina under the generals, Chile under Pinochet, Greece under the generals, Uzbekistan, Indonesia while it committed genocide in East Timor and the 40 year occupation of Palestine?

  It illegally attacks other nations i.e. Iraq, Nicaragua, Grenada, Panama, Cambodia, Laos, Cuba (and Iran soon).

  It has overthrown elected democracies in

  Iran (Mossadegh 1953),

  Guatemala (Arbenz 1953),

  Ecuador (Velasco 1960),

  Congo (Lumumba 1960),

  Brazil (Goulart 1964),

  Dominican Republic (Bosch1963),

  Ghana (Nkrumah 1966),

  Chile (Allende 1973),

  Greece (Papandreou 1967),

  Bolivia (Paz 1964)

  Venezuela (Chavez 2002) Coup initially successful but failed.

  And of course the reason the Vietnamese elections in 1955 were cancelled was because the US knew that the wrong people would win. The US preferred to kill 3 million people rather than allow democratic elections.

  Only an indolent ignoramus posing as a journalist would take anything from the US government on Democracy as anything but an outlandish joke!

  Sincerely

  Andy Bain

  **********

  139 Elm Park Mansions.

  Charlotte, NC 28269

  July 7, 2010

  Hillary Rodham Clinton

  Secretary of State

  U.S. Department of State

  2201 C Street NW

  Washington, DC 20520

  Dear Ms. Clinton,

  Are you aware of the bizarre activities of the State Department-funded outfit ‘Freedom House’?

  Their website has a world map showing which countries they consider Free, Partly Free or Not Free. Astonishingly, these lunatics have both Iraq and Afghanistan listed as Not Free!!

 

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