Even with Thorne's injuries, a flicker of anxiety licked at my heart as he yanked me in with his good arm, pressing my mouth against his in a ravenous kiss. I shuddered as his fingers slid down my neck, dragging between my shoulderblades with exquisite pain as he dug his nails into my back and raked them all the way down to my waist, leaving deep, hot scratches down my back that ached and throbbed with warmth.
His hand slid below the band of my jeans, and I squirmed to unbutton them and wriggle my underwear down my thighs as I continued to kiss him. Thorne's fingers found my sex and pressed in, testing me, exploring me. He didn't have Cyan's rough and demanding touch, but his middle and index worked inside me with the same firm confidence, commanding me to open and relax for him. He coaxed my body into obedience, my soft folds squeezing tight around him as droplets of arousal ran down my thighs. I gasped as he massaged my front wall, his two fingertips rubbing up and down in alternating strokes, pressing insistently until my whole body was shaking. His touch was stern, solemn, powerful. It was the touch of his wolf.
Thorne slid his fingers free, leaving me tingling and desperate for more, and gripped me by the waist. I barely needed any encouragement as I lifted my hips and guided his shaft to my entrance, letting it kiss the outer lips of my tingling sex for a delicious moment before he pulled me down. He filled me deeply, completely, just as he had before. I threw my head back and moaned, my fingernails digging into his shoulders as I stretched to accommodate his thickness. I began to rock against him, aided by the tight grip of his hand around my waist as he bucked his hips upward.
Squeezing around the base of his shaft, my belly tensed with every thrust as I felt the wonderful tightness of his tip pressing against my back wall. My whole body felt like it was clenching each time he buried himself inside me, my breath jarring and catching in my throat, turning my moans into broken exclamations of pleasure. I clung to Thorne's shoulders, my cheek pressed against his, our mouths meeting every few moments to share another breathless kiss or brush of our tongues.
My skin was hot and moist, my breasts sliding across Thorne's chest as I rode him. With a powerful thrust he buried himself deep inside me, holding me down as I squirmed and gasped, moving his lips down my neck until they found a hard nipple. He kissed and sucked hungrily, teasing my sensitive nub with his teeth and tongue, biting almost painfully hard until I shrieked and shuddered, clenching my fingers around the back of his neck. He was leaning forwards now, grunting in pain as he braced himself on his injured arm, pulling me tight against his lap as I clung on.
If Thorne had seemed weak from his wounds earlier, he was a wild beast now. His left arm wrapped my waist like a shackle, pinning my body in place as he thrust into me, shallow, powerful strokes that forced me closer to the edge with every passing moment. Droplets of sweat ran down my back and between my breasts, tickling their way across my skin until they mingled with the perspiration of Thorne's body. My lips parted, breathless whines and gasps of pleasure leaving my throat in time with his thrusts. He kept me on the brink, the heat of the fire and our bodies growing until his skin felt scorching to the touch. Damp tangles of hair fell across my face as I pressed my forehead against Thorne's, staring into his intensely green eyes through a haze of passion. His muscular body strained against me, doing all the work now as he rocked me in his lap. Fierce, guttural breaths huffed against my neck, exhausted and ravenous at the same time. His tongue traced the underside of my chin, tasting the glistening perfume of my body before finding my mouth once again. Thorne took my lower lip between his teeth, tugging and sucking until my eyes began to roll and my orgasm beckoned.
All the tension of the past two days rushed out of me as I climaxed in a powerful, relentless surge of pleasure. It came hard and fast, draining my mind of thoughts in a blissful instant. My body shook and shivered, and I pressed myself as hard as I could against the warmth of Thorne's chest. My fingernails buried themselves in his shoulder and neck, and I heard myself crying out his name as I fought through the intensity of the moment.
He tensed, his hand gripping the back of my neck, both of us fighting to hold our bodies together as tightly as we could. My lover didn't say a word, all I could hear was his ragged breath as he growled ferociously, burying himself deep inside me as he came. He bucked his hips, once, twice, twitching between my folds as his seed spilled into me. My lips traced Thorne's cheek, kissing and suckling at his sweaty skin as I murmured through the last precious moments of our pleasure. His chest heaved against me as I lay draped over him. As he spend the last of his orgasm inside me Thorne grabbed my hair and tilted my head back, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth. I let my quivering body go limp, my eyelids closing as he asserted his dominance, claiming me with one final, uncompromising kiss.
At last his grip relaxed, his lips withdrew, and my lover leaned back against the wall. I opened my eyes, and found Thorne's reassuring green gaze there to welcome me. The savage fire had burned out. His instinct was quiet, and so was mine. We looked at each other for a long moment, Thorne moving his hand from the back of my neck to my cheek, stroking softly as his thumb brushed the tip of my chin. I reached up to curl my fingers between his, kissing his palm.
"I would have loved to be your mate," he sighed. "No matter what your instinct was."
My chest tightened as his words brought me back to reality. They were so sweet. Such a comfort. But I knew the implication behind them.
"It's going to be hard for us now, isn't it?" I said. Thorne smiled, his eyes full of pain, and nodded.
I would have loved to be his mate too. I felt tears running down my cheeks as I leaned forward and hugged him, resting my head against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I shouldn't have made you."
Thorne winced, and I realised his injured arm had started bleeding again. Still, he didn't utter a word of complaint as his fingers stroked their way through my hair. "Don't be sorry. I'm not."
We lay there in silence for a while, listening to the crackle and pop of the fire.
"What do we do now?" I said at last.
"Find another pack. Stay away from Cyan. Start again."
"What about us?" I clung to Thorne's chest. I knew he couldn't tell me what I wanted to hear, but I had to ask.
"We'll manage," he said softly. "Tomorrow morning we'll go back to being friends again."
"Can we... can we pretend? Just for tonight?" I looked up at him pleadingly. I just wanted a few more minutes of comfort. Of being Thorne's mate. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms soothed by the thought of waking up next to him in the morning.
He looked down into my teary eyes and brushed a lock of hair away from my forehead. "Of course we can." He kissed me on the cheek and wrapped both arms around me, even as the effort made him tense in pain.
I didn't know what tomorrow would bring. I didn't know how we'd survive out here by ourselves, or find another pack, or keep ahead of Cyan. Fresh tears threatened to come as I thought about all the uncertainties, and of everything we'd left behind. But Thorne was there for me. Even if we couldn't be together tomorrow, for tonight we could at least pretend.
The future didn't seem so bleak with his arms around me.
—5—
Changes
I woke up as Thorne tried to extract himself from our embrace. I'd fallen asleep with my head on his shoulder, our naked bodies wrapped together in the heat of the fire. By now the flames had died, the sun was up, and the morning chill of autumn was beginning to creep its way into the den, prickling my skin with goosebumps. I shivered, sliding my arms away from Thorne's body and wrapping them around myself instead.
"I didn't mean to wake you," he said. I tucked my knees up against my chest, rubbing last night's dry tears from my eyes as the events of the previous day came back to me. I reached out to touch Thorne's hand, but he flinched away the second my fingertips brushed his skin.
"It's... best we don't," he said, looking away. He winced as he got up, favouring his injured arm, and bega
n to dress. I stayed huddled in the corner, hurt by his cold reaction. I should have known it was coming, but that didn't make it any easier to accept. Part of me had been clinging on to the hope that I would wake up in Thorne's arms, have him kiss me, hold me, tell me this was how things would stay from now on.
I reached across the floor to snatch up my discarded clothes, clutching them to my huddled body like an animal afraid to peek out of its burrow. Thorne had his back to me, but the idea of exposing my nakedness to him suddenly made me feel very vulnerable. After squirming awkwardly into my jeans and tank top I shuffled over to the fire and pretended to start rebuilding it.
"You can go and wash in the river if you want. I'll get a fire going for when you're done," I said. He turned in my direction, but I kept my eyes fixed on the grey coals. After a moment's pause he seemed to nod, then lifted the screen away from the den's entrance and clambered out. I breathed a sigh of relief and leant back against the wall, finally allowing myself the space to think.
All we had was each other now. I'd be relying on him, and him on me, to keep the pair of us alive out here in the woods. I had to swallow my feelings and deal with it. My eyes felt sore as I rubbed them again, running my fingers back through my hair. I didn't want to swallow my feelings. The idea of spending days, maybe even weeks, out here with Thorne as we both struggled to suppress our emotions made me feel sick. Would every morning be like this now, with a kind of cold hostility hanging in the air as we desperately tried to pretend that what we'd shared last night wasn't real? And what if our desires boiled over again? How could I fall asleep in Thorne's arms knowing I'd awaken to find him distant and withdrawn the next day?
This wasn't like the first night in the cave. Back then we'd had the excuse of our instincts taking over. Now there was nothing and no one to blame but ourselves. Would it really be so bad if we just admitted it? I remembered the feeling of Thorne's hungry teeth on the back of my neck, the scratches and bruises he'd left on my body after he was done, and shivered. Even as the human part of my mind trembled at the memory, my feral side longed to revisit it. Maybe it was dangerous, impulsive, irresponsible—but we were alone in the wilds now. Animals out here survived by listening to their impulses. I made up my mind. I didn't want to spend weeks pretending I could ignore my feelings for Thorne.
When he came back half an hour later I'd managed to get a small fire going, and I stood up to greet him with a smile on my lips.
"How's your arm?" I said.
"Better." Thorne returned my smile uncertainly, but some of the tension between us seemed to dissipate. "I don't think my wolf will be up for much walking yet, but I can manage on two legs for now."
"I'll change your dressing." I made him sit down and snapped off another length of bandage from our roll, folding it up to make a fresh pad before tying it in place and tossing the old one into the fire. A human would've needed a dozen stitches, but Thorne's gash had closed cleanly overnight. While the wound still looked painful, I could at least put my mind at ease knowing that he was on the mend.
"Thorne?"
He looked up at me, and I began to move my lips toward his, but before I could kiss him I felt a strong hand pressing against my shoulder to hold me back.
"No."
"Why not?" My brow creased in frustration. "You didn't hurt me last night. You didn't hurt me before—not really. Maybe your instinct isn't as bad as you thought it was?"
"You don't know how hard it was to hold myself back."
"But you managed, didn't you?" I exclaimed. "We could be together, I know we could. I'm not saying it would be easy, but isn't it better than... this?"
Thorne shook his head and looked away. My frustration burned hotter. Hadn't he felt the same way I had last night? Didn't he want me as much as I wanted him?
"I told you I knew about the other werewolf packs yesterday, didn't I?" he said at last.
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Let me tell you how one of them drove me away because of what I did to the last girl who tried to be with me."
I paused, my building anger halted by the sincerity I saw in Thorne's eyes. I suddenly realised how little I really knew about my new partner and his past.
When I didn't say anything Thorne took me by the hand and led me over to the old grass mattress against the far wall, sitting us down on the edge of it. His fingers brushed the dirt away from the lid of the wooden box that was half-buried in the ground next to us, and I remembered how his eyes had been drawn to it the day before.
"I wasn't with our pack all that long. I only fell in with them a couple of months before you arrived, and even then I doubt they would have had me if Cyan hadn't been desperate for numbers. His pack's the newest, the smallest. The others wouldn't have wanted me around once they found out who I was—apart from the Mine Pack, maybe." He grimaced, but I carried on listening. My frustration was giving way to curiosity, and a growing anxiety about what I was about to hear. "I used to be part of the Wood Pack," he continued. "They're one of the oldest, and the most respected. A proper society of werewolves. I was lucky enough to find them before any of the others after I got bitten, and they took me in, helped me learn to control my instinct. They gave me everything, but it wasn't enough."
"You're different than you were back then—"
"No, Lyssa, I'm not," he snapped.
I flinched at the sharpness of his words. I'd never seen Thorne angry before, not unless his instinct was in control.
"How long have we properly known each other?" he said. "A week?"
I remained silent, waiting for his temper to cool.
"Anyway, that's not the point," he said. "I lived with them for three years. I made friends, I had a good life. It was tough dealing with my instinct, but I accepted it. I tried to stop myself from thinking about the other females in that way, and my friends made sure they never provoked me." He took a deep breath, drumming his fingers against the lid of the box. I wondered if he'd ever spoken about this to anyone else in the pack. "I had a best friend, Niya. I'd never been closer to anyone else, even before becoming a wolf. We used to spend every day together out in the woods. I helped her hunt, she taught me about plants, we—" Thorne swallowed, forcing himself to stop whatever he'd been about to say. "She was such a good friend I never even stopped to think she might feel something more for me. I was used to ignoring those sorts of feelings. Then one day when we were alone together, she kissed me. She told me everything would be fine, that there was no way I'd hurt her, we wouldn't even have to let the others worry if we kept it a secret from them. She was so convinced I was in control of my instinct that I started believing it too. Then that night..." He broke off again, rubbing his temples with a thumb and forefinger. "I can still remember the taste of her blood."
I put my hand on his, and realised I was trembling. "Did she..?"
"Die? No. Though it wasn't through my lack of trying. My wolf was just wild. I couldn't control myself, all I could think about was making her submit to me—my best friend Lyssa." He looked up at me, those solemn eyes filled with so much pain and doubt that I could hardly bear it. "If I could do that to her, I can do it to anyone, and I've spent all this time trying to control my instinct so that it never happens again."
"What happened afterwards?" I said softly.
"They drove me out. Even though I was part of their family, one of their best friends, they couldn't put the rest of the pack at risk by having me around. I don't blame them for it. They were right."
"Don't say that." I squeezed Thorne's hand, a lick of my earlier frustration returning. "You said it yourself, you spent all this time learning to control your instinct. Well, now you can control it. I could still feel you in there that night in the cave, stopping yourself from hurting me. Don't... don't stop yourself from being happy just because you're afraid. I know you're stronger than that."
Thorne shook his head, still drumming his fingers against the lid of the box. I hated seeing him like this. He should have bee
n the alpha of his own pack. Strong, confident, smart; driven to great things by the savage fire of his instinct, not humbled by it. I'd felt that part of him when we were together, wild, but controlled. It was the sort of control Cyan had always lacked, and what had made me grow to despise him. I could imagine Thorne losing it when he was younger, less experienced, but not now. He was as mature and able a werewolf as I'd ever met. He was born to be a pack leader.
But looking at him now, I didn't know what I could say to change his mind. His past seemed to drag him down like a weight around his neck, and every time he looked at me I knew he would be remembering his old friend Niya. If only he could just...
"So, that's where we're going," he said at last, clearing his throat sharply. "Back to my old pack. The other packs won't even sniff at a pair like us, especially not if they've heard about my past. Besides, it might take us weeks to find them."
"Would the Wood Pack have us?"
Thorne looked at me. "They'd have you."
"But that's—"
"I'm used to surviving by myself. Maybe enough time's passed that they'll give me a second chance, maybe not. But you can't stay out here without a mate to take care of your instinct."
"Then we'll try one of the other packs. We'll start our own, just like Cyan did."
"Lyssa... we're not Cyan. Even if we could try any of those things, it'd take us weeks, months. The longer we're together the more likely it is that I'm going to hurt you. And Cyan's going to be hunting us the whole time. You need the safety of a real pack, even if it's by yourself."
"I'm not going to abandon you," I said stubbornly.
"We're going to the Wood Pack."
I opened my mouth to protest, but Thorne's gaze was hard, his mind made up.
There was the alpha inside him. Assertive, dominant—and making the hard decision that I wasn't able to. I didn't like it, but I knew he was right.
I only wished my alpha was strong enough to believe in himself just a little bit more.
Wild Instincts - Complete Edition (Werewolf Erotic Romance) Page 10
