Reuben couldn’t quite force breath through his lungs. And he couldn’t bring himself to look at Cathleen either. So, he stared down into the collection of grounds at the bottom of his mug, swirling them in the last sip of coffee.
“Alex, I…” Cathleen paused, and it took every bit of control in him not to look up at her. “We haven’t discussed when I’ll be leaving, but I don’t think it should be today or tomorrow.”
The control fled from him. He scanned her face, taking in the hint of apprehension as she glanced at Mum. Her look changed when she turned it on her brother, though. That perfect little chin came up, and her brows rose, eyes sparking.
For half a second, he was thankful that look wasn’t pointed at him. And then she did dart a glance his way. Not long enough for him to read it, but a glimmer of hope lit in his chest. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have to say goodbye quite yet.
“We’ll talk about it in a bit.” Alex’s voice had definitely lost its light-heartedness. He shot a penetrating look toward Reuben, then he turned his attention on Mum and leaned forward on his elbows. “And how are you feeling these days, Mrs. Scott?”
“Oh, just fine. Just fine. Enjoying this nice weather.” Mum fiddled with her sleeve as she gave a bit of a toothy smile. “How about you?” Mum likely had no idea who the man was, but at least she sounded somewhat competent.
As Alex kept her in light conversation, that penetrating look replayed itself in Reuben’s mind. Was the man worried about his sister’s reputation, up here on the mountain with only him and his confused mother? He hadn’t given much thought to that, as far removed from town gossips as they’d always been.
But Pa and Mum had tried their best to instill a good sense of morals in him, and spending excessive time alone with a lady was definitely on the Not Proper list. The thought hadn’t occurred to him at first because Cathleen was here as Mum’s nurse, but the more time he spent around her, the harder it was to keep his distance. Maybe he should encourage her to leave with her brother.
The thought churned bile in his stomach, but he’d do what was best for her.
Cathleen rose and started stacking their used pie plates. He needed to speak with her now, before she picked a fight with her brother on the topic.
He pushed his chair back and stood. “Cathleen, I need to show you something in the barn if you have a minute.”
She paused mid-stride on her way to the dry sink. “Certainly.” She glanced at the stack in her hand. “I can finish these in a bit, I guess.”
Good. He nodded and waited by the door for her to precede him. He didn’t have to glance at Donaghue to feel the man’s stare pierce his back. If only he knew they were on the same side, no matter how begrudgingly.
Cathleen walked beside him in silence to the barn. They could have had the conversation standing on the porch, but it would have been too easy to be overheard. Or even watched through the cabin window.
And he desperately needed privacy for this baring of his soul.
Chapter Fifteen
INSIDE THE BARN, Reuben slowed as he and Cathleen approached Tash’s stall. He propped a hand on the top rail and peered in. The colt slept with his dam standing over him, head drooped as she rested, too. So peaceful.
Quite opposite to the battle raging in his chest. But he had to say this before he lost his courage. “Cathleen, I think you should go back with your brother.”
She’d been standing quietly beside him, but she stiffened at his words, and the air around them seemed to disappear with the intake of her breath. She didn’t speak right away. The burn of her scrutiny seared him, but he kept his focus forward.
“You want me to leave?”
There was the faintest amount of hurt in her tone. Or was that his imagination? He tightened his jaw. No, he didn’t want her to leave, but he didn’t want to keep her here if it would tarnish her reputation. Didn’t want her to regret coming to help them. Regret him.
He had to be honest. At least, as much as he could.
Turning to face her, he did his best to meet her gaze, but couldn’t quite muster it. His eyes landed on her perfect little nose, and he locked them there. “You’ve been a lifesaver around here. Helped Mum and me both, and we’ll always be thankful. But if your brother thinks you should go, that’s probably best.”
He kept his gaze trained on her nose, and it didn’t move for a long moment. Then the nostrils flared, and he forced his focus up to see the rest of her reaction in those big brown eyes.
Their intensity drove deeper inside him than any person had probed in years. Through his thoughts, his motivations, maybe even as deep as his yearnings. The power of it started beads of sweat rolling down his back, and he looked away. Had she seen how he felt about her? Not that he really knew himself, but that look could have split bone from marrow and stitched it all back together again.
He propped both arms on the wooden rail and cleared his throat. Was she going to say something? For once, the silence was making his skin itch.
“I think I’ll stay.”
Those soft words brought his head up, and he whirled to face her. “You will?”
Her eyes had softened, even crinkled at the edges in the hint of a smile. “Yes. If you don’t mind. I’d like to help your mum.”
The relief that washed through him would have dropped him to his knees if he hadn’t been gripping the rail so tight. He inhaled a long, steadying breath.
“All right.”
~ ~ ~
REUBEN STRAIGHTENED THE saddle on Alex’s gelding before reaching under its belly for the cinch. The man would come to the barn shortly to begin his ride back to Butte, but hopefully he’d appreciate these few private moments with his sister.
The evening before had been tense, especially before Cathleen invited her brother out for a walk under the stars. Whatever she’d said, the man had been a little more genial after that, although chores kept Reuben away in the barn most of the evening after they returned.
It was plain Cathleen loved her brother, although she certainly wasn’t afraid to speak her mind when she disagreed with him. That was a side Reuben had only seen a few times—like when she insisted he sleep in the cabin instead of the barn. Those pert brows arched, and her eyes sparked. She was even more distracting in these moments than when she flashed that smile that heated his insides.
But as relieved as he was that she’d chosen to stay, was he making the wrong decision in letting her? Mum would certainly be better off with her here. He would do his best by Mum if Cathleen left, but she had a special way that his mother adored. Like the daughter she always wanted. The daughter she would have had, if only his twin sister had lived. He’d worked his hardest to fill the void Nora’s death had caused, but they’d all felt it. Even now it lodged a longing in his chest.
A shadow shifted in the barn doorway as Reuben pulled the cinch strap tight. He patted the gelding and turned to face the doctor. “He’s all ready.”
As Alex moved closer, the sun shifted from his back, so his features were more distinguishable. The softness in his profile when he’d spoken with Cathleen at breakfast was gone, replaced by stiff shoulders and a firm jaw.
Did the man hold something against him? Or just the situation in general? Was there anything he could say to help Donaghue feel better about leaving his sister here? It was worth a try.
He stepped back as Alex tossed his saddle bags over the rear of the saddle. After licking his parched lips, he started in. “I appreciate all your family’s done for my parents. I know it’s not been easy, but Mum would be much worse off without Cathleen’s help.”
If it were possible, Alex’s shoulders stiffened even more, but his back was to Reuben as he tied the leather straps to secure the bag. It was a long moment before the man responded, but he finally let out a long breath and turned to look Reuben in the eye.
“I can’t say I like it, Cathleen staying up here. We didn’t think she should come in the first place, but your mother was in a bad way. So
, we let her help. But now that you’re here, well…”
The man’s brows rose in that same pert way Cathleen’s did when she expected to be obeyed. Yet coming from this man, it definitely felt more like a challenge.
What could he say to ease Donaghue’s concerns? Forthright had always been his approach with the Crow. Maybe it would suit him here, too.
He met Alex’s gaze. “I understand your worries. Your sister’s been a godsend for my mother. I don’t know what we would have done without her. And if she stays here, you have my word I’ll protect her with my life. But if you think she should go home with you, we won’t hold her back.”
Alex stared at him for a long scrutinizing moment. Gone was the challenge in his gaze, replaced only with searching. At last, he let out a breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, Scott. I don’t like her being up here, but Cathy tends to think more with her heart than her head. And she’s a bit stubborn besides. Once she sets her mind to help someone, it’d take a man stronger than me to change it. I’m not sure I could get her to leave unless I tied her on a horse and led her down the mountain.”
Put that way, it made him and Mum sound like a charity case. But he forced down his wayward pride. “I’ll make sure she’s safe. And if I can talk her into going home, I’ll bring her there myself.”
Another sigh leaked from Alex, and he moved around to the other side of the horse to fasten the pack there. “I suppose that’s the best I can hope for.”
Reuben stepped closer to the gelding, stroking its forehead. Just one question remained, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. But if he was any man at all, he had to ask it. “So, doctor. What about my mum’s condition?”
Donaghue didn’t answer right away but finished fastening his pack. Then he turned to Reuben with clear deliberation, propping an arm on the saddle to face him across the horse. “She has senile dementia. More severe than a lot of cases I see. I’m a bit surprised it’s come on so quickly.”
Reuben swallowed. “You think it’s because of Pa’s death? She’s trying to forget?”
The doctor shook his head. “This form of the disease isn’t thought to be something triggered by intentional memory blockage. The general consensus is that the arteries leading to the brain harden, so the brain doesn’t receive the blood flow it needs. Over time, portions of the brain stop working from lack of nutrients.”
His own head pounded, but he forced the doctor’s words to make sense in his mind. So this truly was a medical condition. Not that he’d questioned that for a while now. But it sounded so…irreversible. “Is there anything we can do to make her mind start working again?”
A glimmer shone in the doctor’s eyes. Not pity, thank the Lord, but sadness. “I wish there were. A lot of great minds have worked to find a cure for dementia, but no proven treatment has been discovered yet.”
He swallowed to force moisture into his dry mouth. Just one more question had to be asked. “How much longer? Is this something that’ll kill her?”
The doctor’s gaze didn’t waver. “We all die eventually. She could have a few months. Maybe even several years. But God calls us all home in His time.”
There was truth in the man’s statement. Everyone did die eventually. But bringing God into the mix? Reuben had long ago resigned from believing God cared about what really happened in his life. If others wanted to believe a Supreme Being helped them each step of the way, that was fine. But throughout his life he’d not seen one whit of difference in the outcome of things whether he’d involved the Almighty or not. And it was easier to make his way on his own.
“I’ve left Cathy some herbs that may help open the arteries and lessen the progression of damage. Beyond that, enjoy the time with your mother. Try not to argue with her when she gets confused. Help her remember pleasant memories from the past. Do things with her she enjoys. That will help stimulate her brain function as much as anything.”
Reuben nodded. At least it was something. Something he was capable of, certainly.
The two of them walked from the barn together, Donaghue leading his horse. When they reached the open yard, Reuben glanced toward the house. “Shall I go tell Cathleen you’re headed out?”
Alex followed his gaze. “I guess so.” The words escaped on a sigh.
Reuben started that direction, but Cathleen must have been watching for them. The door opened, and she stepped outside, leading Mum by the hand. She raised her other hand to shade her eyes as Alex stopped in front of the porch.
“You sure you don’t want to go with me?” His voice held just a hint of hope.
She gave him a sweet smile. “I’m sure. Give my love to everyone. And snuggle the babies for me.”
He raised a brow. “There’s not much snuggling with William these days.”
A soft chuckle flowed from her. “I guess there isn’t. Well, remind him Aunt Cathy loves him.”
Alex mounted and gave her a final look. “Last chance.”
Something that sounded like a grunt issued from Cathleen. “Are you hedging for more food, Alex? I already packed a half dozen cinnamon rolls for you.”
Now it was her brother’s turn to chuckle. “No. The pack feels like I’m taking out as much food as I brought in.” His gaze swept the three of them. “So long, then. Don’t be strangers.”
Reuben raised a hand in farewell as the three of them watched the man ride off. He could feel the angst as clearly as he could see it in the set of Alex’s shoulders. Probably the same as Reuben would feel if he were in that saddle and his baby sister stood on the porch waving goodbye. Maybe even the same empty place Reuben had carried all these years for his lost twin.
Except Alex had the hope that he’d see his sister again. Soon.
And until his dying breath, Reuben would make sure she stayed safe and happy for that meeting.
Chapter Sixteen
REUBEN STEPPED THROUGH the cabin door the next morning after barn chores, determination flooding every pore inside him. He’d spent the night wrestling with how to help both Mum and Cathleen. The doctor said spend time with Mum. And getting her away might free Cathleen up some, but she still worked so hard around the place, he wanted to help them both. His hides were all to the final softening phase, and half of them were done with that already, so he could afford to leave them alone for a day or two.
Now was his chance.
Cathleen looked up from the sink, and her smile took a second longer to form than usual. “I didn’t expect you back so soon. Want another mug of coffee? Alex brought me a fresh supply of cinnamon sticks, so I can brew a special blend if you like.”
A grin tugged at his mouth. He’d never smell cinnamon again that he didn’t think of this woman. Just the thought of the stuff made him want to step close and nuzzle her neck, take another whiff from the aroma that always seemed to cloak her.
But…that wouldn’t do just now.
“No coffee. I came back in to help.”
Her brows rose, and she turned toward him more fully, raising an arm to wipe her forehead with the back of her wrist. She held a scrubbing pad, and the edges of the big cast iron pot peeked out of the sink. “Help? I think we’re all right for now. Thanks for checking, though.”
He glanced toward Mum, who sat at the table with her hands covered in floury white dough. She smiled her wrinkled, toothy grin at him. “You always were a good lad.”
A frown tightened his brow. He’d come in here to help, not be shooed off like a boy not capable of anything. This felt too much like all those times growing up when he’d tried to assist his parents and failed miserably. But his mother wasn’t the same woman she’d been then, and he was going to get it right this time if he had to die trying.
He stepped farther into the kitchen and peered over Cathleen’s shoulder. “I can scrub that pot.”
She glanced up at him from the corner of her gaze, and he suddenly realized how close he’d approached. A mere foot separated them.
She droppe
d her focus back to the pot and swished a handful of water around its base. “It’s all right, Reuben, really. I’m done here. Once I get the floor swept, we were going to make soap. I know you have a lot of work to do on your furs. You don’t have to worry about us.”
Something about the way she wouldn’t look at him sent a ribbon of frustration through his chest. He was asking to help, why wouldn’t she let him? In two strides, he grabbed the broom from the corner and started whisking the dust and food scraps out from the corners and under the table. North jumped up from his bed when Reuben’s broom neared, and the dog padded to the far side of the great room. His efforts might have been a little overzealous, but at least he was getting the job done. Helping.
“Reuben…?” Cathleen started her question, but didn’t finish.
“What?” His voice rang with a little more impatience than he should have let show, but if she thought she was going to send him to the barn when there was work to be done here, she’d best adjust her views on the matter. And she could raise her brows and stomp her feet all she wanted. Wouldn’t change a thing.
But she didn’t.
While he swept out the kitchen and sitting area, she clanged dishes around for a while, then pulled packages down from the shelves. When he came back in from sweeping the scraps off the side of the porch, he saw she’d sat at the table with Mum.
“So I melt the lard first, then combine the lye and water?”
“Yes, dearie. That way they can both cool at the same time. Don’t worry, I’ll show you.” Mum patted Cathleen’s hand as affection spilled from her tone.
Cathleen always took such pains to make his mother feel needed. That was probably one of the reasons Mum adored her so.
Cathleen shot a glance at him as he replaced the broom in the corner, but then she turned back to Mum in a lower tone. “So I heat the lye and water mixture on the stove, too? When do I know it’s ready?” Twin lines formed on Cathleen’s forehead. She was certainly pressing deep with her questions. Maybe she was trying to coax Mum’s memory back to life like Alex had said.
The Lady and the Mountain Call (Mountain Dreams Series Book 5) Page 12
