by Sia Wales
“I’m a werewolf, little girl, it’s different,” Vuk sighs. “I’m not a man, but I can’t turn into a wolf like my brother Doctor.”
He shakes his head, as if to stop himself.
“At least, not yet, and maybe I never will. That’s why my eye color changes, it’s as unstable as my nature, halfway between man and wolf.”
“You’re a tough werewolf, Vuk. You can do it, you’ll see.”
He holds back a smile.
“Thanks, Stella, but there are cases in my family of wolves with the same congenital defect. That’s why my father, who is not superstitious at all, called me wolf twice. To try to ward off the defect…” His emerald eyes seem to be reliving a memory from the distant past.
“What do you mean, he called you wolf twice?”
“In Serbo-Croatian, Vuk means wolf. Then there’s my surname, Vuk Wolf’––two times a wolf.” He purrs each word. “When Doctor, my brother, found out, he took it badly.” Vuk laughs. “I wish I’d gotten a normal name!”
Another song ends and Vuk looks out the door. Then he turns back to me, anxiously awaiting my reaction.
“I think it’s a nice name.”
He relaxes and shakes his head, a strange look on his face. “Anyway, little girl, you’re lights went out completely that night. You’ve forgiven me, I know,” Vuk smiles. “And when I quit smoking, you’ll have pardoned me for everything. In every way possible. But for now, let’s just start anew.”
He stubs out the cigarette under his shoe and throws it in the trash. Then he slips his arms around me again and brings his lips to my ear.
“I want you to be the same as you were before,” he whispers. His emerald eyes bore into me, but his thoughts have been distant for weeks now.
“What are you thinking?”
“About what’s right and what’s wrong.” A shiver runs through me when his teeth brush against my earlobes. I try to wriggle out of his warm embrace, but he pulls me closer and brings his eyes to within an inch of mine.
“You’ve gotta learn to just go with your feelings, sometimes. To give in to human warmth.”
I freeze. He hugs me to his chest, feeling my passive resistance. His hot hand finds a spot of bare skin on my collarbone, and I shiver involuntarily.
“That’s right,” he murmurs, looking at me.
He runs one hand through my hair, the other holding my arm; my body arches into him, making me lose my already precariously balance.
His face is familiar, cherished. There is more than one real reason to love him. He has always had my back, he’s been my safe house, my anchor. His hands caress my face again. His warm, delicate breath burns my cheekbones. Right now, he is deciding whether or not to kiss me. His mouth approaches mine, and he tries to make me his, whispering my name.
I think I lost the only real love I’ll ever know. Jason will never come back to reawaken me from my wait, but it would be madness to think that my decision would not have consequences. Maybe it wouldn’t be being unfaithful. But I’m not being unfaithful to anyone, except myself.
But I still block Vuk’s lips before they find mine. I free my head from his feverish grasp and feel the cold night air sting my numbed cheeks.
He slowly releases me, and I give him a tender smile, not wanting to hurt him.
Then a familiar voice brings me back to reality. Donn is calmly taking in the scene. He’s wearing the laidback expression he uses when he wants to curb his emotions, keep control. But I can see behind that stolid mask he wears. His eyes betray his profound anguish, but he would only have cut in if he had seen me resisting. In the meantime, torment was eating him up inside.
“Please!” he roars, furious. “What the hell are you doing?”
My smile disappears, as does Vuk’s serene expression. He’s anxious, worried. But he doesn’t lose his cool.
“What?”
“Do me a favor and control your instincts,” says Donn, his tone hard as steel. “What are you doing to her?”
“Nobody’s forcing you to watch,” Vuk barks.
“You have no idea how loudly Stella’s thoughts ring out,” Donn snarls. “It’s as if she’s yelling in my face.”
Vuk ignores him.
“Keep away from her,” Donn warns. “Just try to lay a finger on her again against her will.”
“She doesn’t know what she wants,” Vuk interrupted. “You sunk your canines too deep into her!”
Donn ignores him and walks up to me, trying to pry Vuk’s arms from around me.
“Stella, are you ok?” he asks, sincerely worried, while Vuk curses him. I want to scold him for his language; his brother must be a bad influence on him.
“Of course,” I shrug. “I’ll try to think in a lower voice. But please, get out of my head!”
There is an instant of silence. I can’t believe that this is the same place where I first had a life-changing conversation with Donn. He releases his grip.
“I’d like to be able to,” he replies jokingly to my thought, in a murmur so low, it’s barely audible.
Vuk sneers, his hands are shaking.
“Stella wasn’t kidding on the phone when she mentioned the power you use on her.”
“Power,” confirms Donn, gratified.
Vuk shakes his head and takes a deep breath.
“You didn’t tell her, did you? What’s up? Afraid she’ll choose me? I don’t have to play dirty.”
“Just go, Vuk,” says Donn.
“Why should I?” Vuk grabs on to me again. “I’d rather stay here right now, if you don’t mind.”
“Enjoy the moment, while it lasts,” Donn hisses. “Glad to see you having a good time.”
“If you could give us some privacy,” retorts Vuk.
“Want a hand to see me out? And I mean in the literal sense!”
“Just try. It’d be fun to see who gets thrown out first.”
“Give it a rest, Vuk. My patience has its limits,” warns Donn.
“The truce is proving hard, isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about?” I ask naively.
Donn ignores me.
“Need anything else, Vuk?”
“Nope. All I need is here in my arms.”
Donn keeps staring him down, but Vuk doesn’t retreat. He’s tense, visibly troubled. His hands are shaking and he releases his grip on me.
A chill creeps down my spine. Are Vuk and Donn about to have a fight, right here in Jeff’s bar? Surely they wouldn’t dare. Maybe I don’t realize just how close they are to coming to blows. All it needs is the wrong word, and it could all go south in a hurry. I turn pale.
“Just stop this.” If my voice wasn’t so hoarse and quiet, it would have been a roar.
Vuk doesn’t seem to hear me. I turn to Donn. Frozen with fear, I look his perfect features up and down. But rage seems to have momentarily replaced all emotions.
Vuk is staring Donn down, ready for action. Both are hyped up, teeth bared. They turn to me irritably.
“Look, calm down.” I force a hysteric laugh. “This is a party.” The sound of an electric guitar almost drowns out my words.
“Stella’s right,” concedes Donn.
Vuk doesn’t take his eyes off the older man.
“Right. I don’t think Stella would be happy if I attacked her bloodsucking pal.”
“Cool it, Vuk Wolf,” orders Donn. “You wouldn’t want to do something like that in front of her.”
“I don’t think she’d distract me.”
“Vuk remember I decided that I didn’t want you to forget about my party.” I hope my clumsy attempt to change the subject is not too obvious.
“Yeah,” he replies cautiously.
“Well, seeing as it’s still my anniversary, what I’d really like is for you two to get on.”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” says Vuk.
“Ok. But can’t I be friends with both of you?”
Donn shakes his head slowly. I avoid looking into his face so as
not to see his expression. He takes a while to answer; maybe I was right not to look at him.
“I’m afraid not, Stella,” he says grimly. “You care about Vuk. So he’d better keep out of my way. You wouldn’t be at all happy if I hurt your little werewolf friend.”
“I knew how much you liked him.” Vuk smirks. “I shouldn’t be surprised.”
I can see how disgusted he looks and I don’t know what to say. “Sorry.”
“Let’s not worry about it too much,” Vuk says. “Everything will get back to normal once he goes. But I’m guessing this isn’t just a short visit, right?”
“Right,” confirms Donn.
“I don’t like the turn things are taking. I just hope he’ll get the hell outta here soon.”
I would be totally lost if Vuk were to abandon me, I’d miss him badly. But what if he did? But if Donn stays, how can Vuk stay? Would he ever forgive me? What a headache this whole situation is! But I want Donn to stay with me forever, too.
I rest my head on Vuk’s chest.
“You’ll bear with me, won’t you? Will you always be my friend?”
“I think so. I’ll always be your friend.”
“Even if I have feelings for Donn?”
“That’s the deal,” he murmurs, his words steeped with pain. “I don’t care who you have feelings for.”
Relieved, I release myself from his embrace and try my best to maintain my cool, knowing full well that Donn’s reactions to my words would be crushing. When I look at him, my face wears a protective mask and the silence becomes suffocating.
I feel I can cut the atmosphere with a knife. The electricity in the room is at overload. Only when I start feeling faint do I realize that I am holding my breath.
“So, just how long are you planning to stay?” Vuk barks at Donn.
“Vuk…” I object, surprised. “However long he wants. You can’t throw people out of Jeff’s bar.”
“No, but I’m allowed to ask. I don’t think I broke any rules of etiquette.”
Donn raises an eyebrow and turns to me.
“Jeff will be here any minute now. I came to say goodbye to you properly. There was no time earlier.”
“This has been the longest party ever,” I protest. Donn runs a comforting hand across my cheek.
“It’s over now, though,” he says. “I’ll be back so soon, you won’t even have time to miss me. Be good, please.” His whisper is just an inch from my neck.
I nod. Who knows how many other surprises are in store for me this evening?
Vuk follows Donn out with his eyes.
“Will you tell me something?” he asks, peering at me through the tufts of hair that have fallen in front of my eyes, his usual crooked smile on his lips.
“Don’t I always tell you everything?”
“Just promise.”
“Ok,” I say, knowing I’ll regret it. “I promise.”
“I noticed that you were surprised when you realized I was bringing you here.”
“And?”
“I was just wondering why else you thought I might have made you dress like that.”
“Well… I figured it was for a special event.”
“What do you mean by ‘special’?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“You promised.” He grins.
“I know.”
“Are you embarrassed to tell me?”
“I don’t want to make you angry. Or depressed. That would be worse.”
Vuk frowns and mulls over my words.
“It doesn’t matter. Just tell me, please.”
“Remember when you told me you had a brother?”
“Sure.”
“Well, I was hoping you had changed your mind, that you had decided to introduce me to your family after all.”.
A wave of emotions sweep over his face. Some of them I recognize––amazement, rage, torment. But in the end he regains his composure, his face neutral again.
“My… family.”
“Yes. I never imagined that tonight’s event was going to be a banal human occurrence… my party.”
“Your human party,” he says, unruffled, underlining the key word. “And do you think that meeting my family would be a special event?”
“Of course,” I nod, biting my lip.
“The sort that you’d have to dress up for?”
I lower my eyes to hide my shame.
“I don’t know how these things work. It just seemed to make sense to me that… for my anniversary…”
“Trust me, you’d soon change your mind,” he says, looking over my shoulder at someone. “I have to go.” He gives me a hug.
“I know,” I sigh.
“I’ve got something… I have to do tomorrow. But I’ll see you in the afternoon, after class.”
Jeff clears his throat loudly behind us.
I quickly leap out of my embrace with Vuk, my cheeks reddening.
“Jeff, great to see you. There you are!”
Vuk leans against the desk, nonchalantly, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes.
The worry and irritation on Jeff’s face are palpable.
“Still buzzing round her, like a bee around honey, eh?”
Vuk seems unruffled as he walks away; he gives a cool, polite nod to Jeff as he leaves the room.
“Oh, Stella, I’m glad to see you smiling,” Jeff says. “I was so worried about you!”
“Sorry. Everything is ok now, really.” I feel Vuk’s CD in my pocket.
“It’s so good to see you finally out of the house for something other than work. And this leads to my present …”
Jeff has a huge smile on his face as he tosses me the keys to the Pontiac. He puts his arm through mine and leads me into the bar, where other musicians are stepping up the tempo.
As we get to the counter, Scott looks at me happily and Tyler, up to his neck in work, nods at me cheerfully.
“Your stuff,” shouts Scott, pointing to the far end of the bar counter.
We head toward the exit, and I turn to Jeff.
“Do you know Vuk?” Jeff picks up my gifts from behind the bar and stuffs them under his arms.
“Yes,” he says curtly, and changes the subject. “You can say thank you for the presents after you’ve opened them. They’re all from people you see at the bar all the time, right?”
I nod, and toss the keys up and down, reflecting. Scott must have told everyone about the accident and his suspicions about Vuk. He thinks he’s to blame. But it’s my fault, I insisted on staying with him that night.
“Did you recognize Tyler, Scott’s nephew? What a sweet kid.” Something in his tone makes me think he’s comparing him to Vuk.
“Yes, he is,” I agree. I wonder if he’s using some kind of psychological trick to turn me against my best friend.
“Will you come back to see him soon?”
“Sure. Tomorrow after school. I often come here to study. Don’t worry.”
“Of course not!” he exclaims, trying to hide his satisfaction.
“What’s up with your finger?” Jeff notices the dressing and bandage.
“Nothing serious, I just cut it with the show program.”
“You never change!”
Old Habits
I’m relieved to get out of the bar, and can’t wait to leave the lanterns and decorations behind. I turn to Jeff, walking alongside me in silence. Then a satisfied smile spreads across his lips,.
“Now you can open the present from me and Scott.”
I come to a sudden standstill in front of the beauty, parked on the other side of the road. An amazing Pontiac GTO, spanking new. Well, new for me. I love it! I can’t deny it. It fits my personality like a glove––bizarre and out of place.
“Get in,” insists Jeff, enthusiastically. But I’m rooted to the spot, hypnotized by the massive red bow stuck to the hood. It’s a faded black color, with big, square bumpers.
Jeff bursts into laughter and takes the keys from my hand t
o open the door. Then he places the keys firmly in my palm again.
I tear off the bow and toss it to the ground. My dad opens the door on the driver’s side and I leap inside without any further encouragement.
To my relief, the engine purrs into action immediately. Just a touch on the accelerator makes the engine roar. Jeff loads up the trunk with the gifts as the classic roars into life, spitting out black fumes over him that almost choke him. He climbs into the car gives me a dizzy look.
When I roll past the entrance to the bar, Scott and Ronald are amongst those watching my deafening hunk of steel. I keep my eyes on the road ahead and only relax when I turn onto Main Street, leaving the bar far behind me.
The radio is a blast from the past, but it works! On first inspection, I wasn’t expecting too much out of it. But you’ve gotta expect some flaws in a car that old.
“Thanks, Jeff, it’s fantastic!” The dark red interior looks more like the inside of a coffin. It’s clean and neat, but I can smell gasoline. The dashboard smells of lemon air-freshener and the leather seats still have a smell of dampness about them.
My new car––a museum piece. The typical car you see in zombie films and things like that. It’s perfect. I don’t know if it could get me out of Medford, but time will tell.
“I’m glad you like it,” says Jeff, uncomfortable with my abundant gratitude. “It’s one of those old sets of wheels that never breaks down. The type you see at the scene of an accident without any scratches, in the middle of a wreck.” This seems like further proof that Scott told him about my accident and that he’s well aware of how clumsy I am.
“I’ll stay here with you until you feel better,” he adds, confirming my doubts.
“Everything will be fine, Jeff. Don’t worry about me,” I smile reassuringly.
We exchange a few brief words about the bar, tonight’s threatening clouds, and about Vuk. Jeff doesn’t like him. He doesn’t think he’s a suitable friend for me.
Luckily, the conversation comes to an end shortly after when we see our driveway appear in the distance uphill, lit up from a distance by the headlights.
We finally arrive at Jeff’s house, which has not changed over the years. I have been living there alone since before summer. It’s a two-story, two-bedroom house Jeff and my mother bought together early on in their relationship. The house is small, with only one bathroom that I’ll have to share with him. But I don’t mind. One of Jeff’s best traits is that he is either out or watching a game on TV. He’s discreet, talks little, and minds his own business. Investments and sports are his life, as having a job and a family are meant for other people.
