by Ariel Tachna
“You’ve done a lot of thinking since Friday night,” Jaime observed.
“Yeah,” Srikkanth said, “most of it in the last hour. I came home early, obviously, and panicked. I saw you in the park with the other guys.”
“Paul and Jay,” Jaime said. “They live a few blocks away with their son, Kyle. I’ve run into them in the park a couple of times, actually. They’ve been together for ten years and adopted Kyle six years ago when he was an infant. They told me about somewhere we could get help, actually, if we ever need it. There’s an LGBT family center in town. I knew about the Gay Chamber of Commerce, but I guess I never bothered looking beyond that because I’m not particularly militant, but they said the center has helped several couples fight successful custody battles.”
“That’s reassuring,” Srikkanth said. And it was, in a strange sort of way. He appreciated the reminder that he didn’t have to face the bigots alone if it came to a fight for Sophie. He had an advantage adoptive gay couples didn’t because of his biological tie to Sophie, but that was no guarantee. Knowing resources existed should he need them gave him the last push he needed to reach for Jaime’s hand. “I’ve been miserable the past two days without you. Not because I needed you to help with Sophie, but because I missed you. Can we try again, without me being an idiot this time?”
“People are idiots all the time,” Jaime said with a soft laugh, squeezing Srikkanth’s hand. “It isn’t whether we are but whether we work through it when we are.”
“You’re killing me here,” Srikkanth protested. “Will you give me another chance?”
Jaime smiled and nodded, pulling Srikkanth closer so they could seal the bargain with a kiss. He’d intended it to be a quick kiss, but he hadn’t counted on three days’ worth of pent-up emotion and desire.
The moment their lips met, all other thought disappeared, everything except each other and the new and fragile bond the kiss affirmed. Srikkanth’s breath was hot as it whispered across Jaime’s lips, a shiver running through him. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips, only to be sucked into Srikkanth’s mouth. He moaned softly, the sensation even more arousing than usual because of the swiftly fading tension from the three days of abstinence. He scooted closer to Srikkanth, releasing his grip on his boyfriend’s hand in exchange for sliding his arms around the other man’s waist. Srikkanth moved eagerly into the embrace, breaking away to murmur, “God, I’ve missed you.”
“Me too,” Jaime replied, no longer risking anything by admitting it. “I didn’t sleep well the entire time I was down here alone. I’ve gotten used to having you next to me.”
“I slept in Sophie’s rocking chair,” Srikkanth said with a pained laugh. “If you’re up to it, I could use one of your wonderful massages.”
Jaime grinned. “Then let’s go upstairs. We’ll be more comfortable in bed. If you don’t mind?”
“Mind?” Srikkanth repeated. “I never wanted you anywhere else.”
“I’ll remember that,” Jaime promised, rising to his feet and pulling Srikkanth with him. “Come on. Your bed is calling us.”
Srikkanth led the way upstairs into his room, pulling Jaime back into his arms when they crossed the threshold. “We’re going to make a new rule,” he said as he leaned in to kiss Jaime again quickly. “No going to bed angry, even if we have to stay up all night to work something out, okay? I don’t want to go through another weekend like this one ever again.”
“It’s a deal,” Jaime agreed, not at all bothered by the idea that they might have other arguments. His parents argued sometimes, but they stood on a bedrock of belief in their marriage so solid that he never questioned whether they’d solve their problems. He wanted that same strength for Srikkanth and himself. “We’ll turn my room into a play room for Sophie. That way we don’t have anywhere to go but to bed together at night. How does that sound?”
“Pretty much perfect,” Srikkanth said, his smile bright enough to light up the dreariest day. It certainly lightened Jaime’s heart.
“Good, we’ll work on the smaller stuff in the evenings and move furniture around on Sunday when we’re both home,” Jaime declared, “but for now, you wanted a massage.” He nudged Srikkanth toward the bed. “Take off your shirt and lie down.”
Srikkanth sent Jaime a flirtatious smile and pulled his tie off, tossing it in Jaime’s direction as he started unbuttoning his shirt. Jaime watched in tense silence, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Inch after inch of mahogany skin came into view, tempting him to touch, but he held back until Srikkanth shrugged the shirt down his arms. Jaime surged forward, catching the shirt and using it to pin Srikkanth’s arms in place as he kissed him hungrily, plundering the sweet cavern with every bit of built-up desire. He’d give Srikkanth the massage he’d promised, but only after he’d kissed him within an inch of his life.
Srikkanth’s head fell back, cradled in one of Jaime’s strong hands as he relaxed into the ravaging kiss. Jaime had never taken control like this, and it turned Srikkanth on beyond belief. Pliantly, he gave Jaime his mouth, basking in the other man’s strength for this suspended moment in time. He could lean on Jaime, could rely on him to be there when Srikkanth needed him. At that moment, he was pretty sure he’d do whatever Jaime asked in return for another heady kiss. He wished he had his hands free to slide into Jaime’s thick hair, but they were pinned behind his back by Jaime’s grip on his shirt. He squirmed a little to get closer, and Jaime’s grip tightened. Srikkanth wanted to tell Jaime that he wasn’t trying to pull away, but he wasn’t about to break the kiss to speak. He’d far rather let actions speak for him, rubbing against Jaime as best he could.
“God, I could just eat you up,” Jaime muttered, breaking the kiss and propelling Srikkanth toward the bed.
“Fuck, yes,” Srikkanth groaned. “Whatever you want. Anything you want.”
Jaime’s cock jumped in his jeans at the decadent offer, but he dismissed the images that sprang to mind. He didn’t doubt Srikkanth’s sincerity, but he didn’t want the first time they made love to be make-up sex. He wanted it to be a slow, sweet seduction, so for tonight he’d settle for giving Srikkanth the promised massage and snuggling up beside him for the night. “What I want tonight is to work the knots out of your back and spoon up behind you and know I’m not alone.”
Srikkanth sent him a disbelieving look, but Jaime indicated he should turn over with a twirl of his finger. Srikkanth pulled his shirt the rest of the way off and rolled onto his stomach as directed. Jaime crawled onto the bed, straddling Srikkanth’s hips and deliberately ignoring the ache in his lower body. The heat of the dark skin surprised him as he spread his palms over the breadth of Srikkanth’s shoulders, massaging gently at first, the force of his kneading increasing gradually as Srikkanth relaxed beneath his ministrations.
He worked his way down Srikkanth’s back to the waistband of his slacks, hands bracketing his spine. He ignored the temptation to continue his downward progress, instead returning to Srikkanth’s shoulders. He pressed a tender kiss to each shoulder blade before rolling to the side, pulling Srikkanth against him. “Feeling better?”
“I’d feel better if you fucked me,” Srikkanth complained.
“We’ll get there,” Jaime assured him, “but only when we’re both ready to take that step. Tonight, I’m not ready.”
“But I thought you weren’t mad at me anymore.”
“I’m not,” Jaime promised, “but we weren’t having sex before our argument on Friday either, so it’s not like I’m denying you something you’d gotten used to having. Making love is something special, Sri. Something sacred, even. And not treating it that way messes things up between people. We’ve messed up enough already. Let’s make absolutely sure this is what we want so it doesn’t mess us up.”
Chapter 15
Srikkanth couldn’t quite stop the reflexive flinch when the doorbell rang despite his promise to Jaime to get over his fears. He’d dealt with most of it, going out to the park with Jaime and Sophie on several o
ccasions, but something about the sound of the doorbell when he wasn’t expecting anyone brought everything rushing back, even almost three months later. When he opened the door, a young Hispanic woman stood on the porch. “Hi, Srikkanth. You aren’t dressed to go out yet. Didn’t Jaime tell you I was coming?”
“Jaime isn’t home from work yet,” Srikkanth said, the pinch of fear replaced instantly by the bite of jealousy as he tried to figure out who the woman was and how she knew Jaime. His boyfriend had never given any indication of being bi, but that didn’t necessarily guarantee anything. “What’s going on?”
The girl rolled her eyes. “I’m Juana, Jaime’s next youngest sister. He asked me if I’d babysit tonight so the two of you could go out somewhere nice without having to worry about your daughter. Show me around, why don’t you, so I’ll know where everything is if I need it.”
Srikkanth smiled despite his confusion. Jaime had obviously arranged this as a surprise for him, to give them a “real” date, separate from their family outings. He hoped that meant maybe Jaime was ready to take the final step and do more than give him a quick hand job before snuggling up in bed with him at night. Whatever it meant, he certainly would take advantage of it. He hadn’t been inside a four-star restaurant or a dance club since Sophie was born. He wouldn’t trade her for anything, but with the opportunity in front of him again, he realized suddenly how much he’d missed some of the little luxuries he’d always taken for granted. Srikkanth stepped aside to let Juana inside. “Did he tell you where he was planning to go?”
“Well…” Juana hesitated.
“Don’t tell me where if it’s supposed to be a surprise,” Srikkanth said. “Just tell me what I should wear.”
Juana smiled. “Wear a tie. Show me where everything is and then go get ready. I’ll take care of Sophie.”
Srikkanth gave her a quick tour of the first floor, showing her where he kept the bottles and formula and going over the correct proportions for mixing them. He pointed out the playpen and bouncer as well as the blanket they spread on the floor when they played with Sophie there.
Taking her upstairs, he cracked the door to the nursery just as Sophie woke up. “I’ll get her,” Juana insisted. “Go take a shower, change clothes, do whatever it is gay men do before a hot date.”
Srikkanth hesitated.
“She’ll only cry harder if she sees you,” Juana said. “Go. I’ve watched my nieces and nephews for years. I know what I’m doing.”
Letting himself be convinced, Srikkanth retreated into his bedroom as Juana went into the nursery. He waited for the screech that usually accompanied a stranger approaching Sophie, but it didn’t materialize. Relaxing, he went into the bathroom and took a quick shower, making sure everything was good and clean in case tonight was his lucky night.
Finished with his shower, he pulled on a pair of boxers and contemplated his closet blankly.
“Wear the black slacks and that maroon shirt your mother gave you for your birthday last year.”
Srikkanth spun around to meet Jaime’s eyes, the dark gaze sharp with desire.
“You didn’t tell me you’d talked to your family about us,” Srikkanth said hoarsely, not even trying to stop his reaction to Jaime’s expression.
Jaime grimaced. “Not my family. Just Juana. She was the least freaked out when I told them I was gay. I figured she’d handle it best when I told her about Sophie. Besides, she loves to babysit.”
“So where are we going?” Srikkanth asked as he took out the clothes Jaime had mentioned.
Jaime shook his head. “It’s a surprise, but I promise you’ll like it. And I promise Sophie will be in good hands.”
“She didn’t even cry when Juana got her up from her nap instead of me,” Srikkanth admitted, starting to get dressed. “Do you need a shower?”
“No, I’ll just change into something a little nicer than what I wear to work and we can go as soon as you’re ready,” Jaime replied.
Srikkanth buttoned his shirt. “I’m ready. Are you sure I shouldn’t wear a different shirt so I can wear a tie?”
Jaime appraised Srikkanth’s appearance with a lingering glance. “You could wear one if you want, but I rather like the open collar. It lets me imagine undoing your shirt one button at a time.”
“Then I won’t wear one,” Srikkanth rasped. “Get changed. I’m ready.”
Jaime didn’t tease him about his sock feet. Srikkanth had never insisted his roommates or guests abide by the Indian custom of removing one’s shoes at the door, but he never wore any shoes but slippers past the entryway of the condo.
Instead, Jaime grabbed a nicer pair of pants and shirt than he usually wore at work from his side of the closet and went into the bathroom to clean up a little before they went out. He’d hoped to get away early enough to shower, but they were cutting it close on their dinner reservations, and he didn’t want to miss their table. He settled for washing his face and running a washcloth over his chest and groin to whisk away the worst of the sweat from the day before changing into the fresh clothes for dinner. He left the collar of his shirt open as well but grabbed a sports coat from the coat rack, deciding he wanted a bit more formality than the shirt alone.
“Are you sure I shouldn’t change?” Srikkanth asked when he saw the jacket in Jaime’s hand.
“I’m sure,” Jaime said, giving him a quick kiss. “The needlework on that tunic makes it far dressier than what I’m wearing. And as I said, I want to imagine working it open. Come on. We’re going to be late for dinner.”
Srikkanth followed Jaime down the stairs, pausing at the foot of the steps to watch Sophie and Juana playing on the blanket on the floor. “There are emergency numbers on the refrigerator,” he told Juana. “The pediatrician’s office, the poison control center, my cell phone.”
“Sri,” Jaime chided.
“Thank you for telling me,” Juana interrupted, shooting her brother a quelling glance. “It’s always good to have all that information. I have Jaime’s cell phone as well, obviously, if I need to get in touch with you. You two go and have a wonderful time and don’t worry about a thing. Sophie and I will have fun together until you get back.”
“She usually goes down around nine,” Srikkanth warned.
“I’ll make sure she’s in bed on time,” Juana promised. “Now go on. Enjoy your evening out.”
Srikkanth slipped his shoes on and followed Jaime out to the car. “So where are we going?”
“You’ll find out when we get there,” Jaime said with a shake of his head. “Just relax and enjoy the evening.”
There turned out to be the local Japanese steakhouse and hibachi grill. They arrived just in time to be seated. Jaime ordered drinks for both of them, waving aside Srikkanth’s protest. “This is our first date without Sophie. Let me do things right.”
“How about we do things right together?” Srikkanth proposed, consciously letting go of his worries at being away from Sophie. Jaime wouldn’t have arranged the evening if Juana weren’t perfectly capable of watching the baby for a few hours, which meant he really could relax and enjoy his time with his boyfriend.
Jaime smiled as the hostess explained the menu and the options for their dinner, slipping his hand beneath the table to find Srikkanth’s. He wasn’t sure how the other man would react, but Srikkanth simply turned his hand over and twined their fingers together.
They looked over the menu as the waitress brought their saké and took their salad orders. “What are you having?” Srikkanth asked after a moment.
“I can’t decide between the teriyaki chicken and the shrimp,” Jaime replied.
Srikkanth grinned. “Those were the two I was looking at too. You order one, I’ll order the other, and we can share.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you,” Jaime teased, returning the smile. “I hope you don’t mind that I chose something like this rather than a table for two somewhere.”
“I don’t mind at all,” Srikkanth said. “This is fun. We hav
e plenty of privacy at home. It’s nice to be out.”
They sipped their drinks until the waitress returned with their salads and to take their orders. They laughed as they tried to eat their salads with chopsticks, but they refused to give in and pick up forks like some of the other people at their table. Then the hibachi chef arrived and they were too busy laughing and applauding to worry about eating anything.
When the show was finally over and their dinners set in front of them, Srikkanth looked at Jaime, his eyes luminous and his smile bright. “Thank you,” he said, offering Jaime a bit of shrimp with his chopsticks. “I needed this.”
Jaime smiled and leaned closer to take the morsel from Srikkanth’s hand.
“Fuckin’ queers.”
