Who had ever helped Eden or taken an interest in her needs?
I will, he thought, and took Eden’s advice to think about tomorrow and what could be done, not what couldn’t be changed.
So…what could he do for her? What could he give her?
“Freedom.” He whispered the word. He could give her freedom from worry about her future and about him. And maybe he could do one thing more. A simple thing, but the kind of thing that would mean something to a woman like Eden.
He tried to ignore the fact that one thing couldn’t be changed. Eden would walk out of his life someday soon, and when she went, he had to pretend that he was happy. It apparently hurt her when he wasn’t happy.
He grimaced. “So, I’ll pretend,” he said.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
DURING the next week, several pieces of mail were forwarded to Eden. A receipt told her that her debts were paid in full. A notice from her school reminded her that an in-service day was scheduled soon. With the clock ticking, she dove into the work of helping Barry find Jeremy’s recipient child. She hunted for helpful information to make the future brighter for all parties concerned. She located and printed out first-person accounts of people who had already traveled the path Jeremy was traveling and managed to keep their lives reasonably whole. Contacting those people and asking them questions became her mission. She drove herself constantly at a feverish pace in a race to beat the clock. And to stop herself from admitting that her feelings for Jeremy were intensifying.
Don’t ever tell him that, Byars, she ordered herself. The man would never forgive himself for touching you.
She had barely finished that thought when the doorbell rang. There was no one else around, so she answered it.
Immediately her mood plunged.
“Miriam,” she said, staring at the beautiful, heartless woman. “I’m sorry. He’s out.”
For a moment a hard, bitter look crossed Miriam’s face. Then her shoulders seemed to sag. “Is he really out? He never seems to be around when I come here.”
“I’m sorry, yes. He is,” Eden said, and for once she felt sorry for the woman. She knew just how Miriam felt.
Miriam bit her lip. Eden noticed that the woman’s lipstick had smudged. She looked…sad.
“It’s me, isn’t it?” Miriam said. “He doesn’t want to see me. Because I am what I am. A failed, twice-divorced debutante. I’m not good enough. I’m not right.” Her face crumpled. A tear slipped down, marring her mascara.
And Eden suddenly realized that she no longer felt inadequate in the company of women like Miriam. Somehow this summer, without ever noticing, she’d lost that feeling that had hounded her all her life.
“I don’t think it’s that at all, Miriam,” she said, trying to soothe the woman who had always taunted and criticized her. What she was telling Miriam was the truth, Eden realized. The problem wasn’t that Miriam wasn’t good enough.
And I was always good enough, too, she thought. I just didn’t realize it before. I spent a lifetime feeling self-conscious and awkward around the people I grew up with when the problem wasn’t with me at all. Her transformation had been Jeremy’s doing. His belief in her and his complete trust in her ability to handle any situation, social or otherwise, had given her confidence and changed her in ways her education and experience hadn’t. She’d told him she was his equal that first day, but that had been half bluster and half necessity. Now there was no doubt in her mind. She was equal, no less than Miriam or the others just because she hadn’t been born into their social class.
“Jeremy just isn’t looking for what you want him for, Miriam,” she said gently. “He’s a wonderful man, but he just isn’t available. That’s sad, I know. We all want him,” she said, trying to tease.
Miriam blinked. “You admit that you want him?”
Eden shrugged. “What woman doesn’t? Why lie about it?”
“No, I guess you’re right. He is tempting, though, isn’t he?”
“Extremely,” Eden managed to say with a smile.
Miriam sighed, looking older than her years. She looked like a woman who had been beaten up. “I should go,” she said, but she hesitated. “You’re nicer than I thought you were.”
“Well, we never really knew each other, did we?”
For a second Miriam looked guilty. “No, we didn’t. Maybe we will now. If you stay.”
“That would be nice,” Eden said as she bade the woman goodbye. She wondered if there were depths to Miriam she hadn’t seen before. Maybe. Most people hid a lot behind a veneer. Jeremy was the perfect example of a man with hidden depths.
And an example of a man no woman could keep, Eden reminded herself. But he’d given her a great deal. He’d treated her as an equal and had insisted that others treat her the same. Now she was comforting Miriam DeAngeles, a woman who had once made her feel so inadequate that she would cross the street to keep from meeting her. Jeremy had worked a minor miracle.
But now? She had to finish her work here without revealing just how painful it would be to leave Jeremy. She didn’t want him pitying her the way she pitied Miriam. She definitely never wanted to show up on Jeremy’s doorstep asking to borrow an imaginary cup of sugar.
Eden put her head down and went back to work.
“You have to stop. You’re going to make yourself ill.”
Eden looked up and Jeremy made no attempt to soften his expression. He was worried about her.
“I’m making progress.”
“It’ll get done.”
“But not as quickly if I slow down. The school year is coming up fast.”
All right, he saw what the situation was. She was eager to be gone. That night together had been enough to satisfy her while he wanted her more intensely than ever.
Don’t react, he told himself. He had no business letting his masculine pride be injured when he’d spent years slipping away after only one night with a woman. If Eden needed to be gone, he’d help her…just as soon as he completed the task he’d set for himself. If everything went as planned, she would have one good thing to remember from this summer.
“I’m having a gathering in two days. I’d like you to be there,” he said.
That got her attention. She lifted her head and turned toward him, her light scent curling around him, making him ache. “You need my help?” she asked, and he didn’t wonder at the surprise in her voice.
“I know we haven’t spent too much time together lately.” Ever since the day Barry had dropped his bombshell and Eden had come to his bed, Jeremy thought. “But yes, I need your help. I can’t make this affair work without you, in fact.”
For a second he sensed tension in her expression and in her body. That wasn’t acceptable. Just as quickly she relaxed. Was that deliberate, an act? He couldn’t tell.
“Just tell me when,” she said. “Tell me what you need.”
You. Now. Always. The words were automatic. He held on until the urge to pull her to him and tell her the truth subsided a bit. “The day after tomorrow. In the gardens at eight o’clock at night. Wear something casual but festive.”
“Will there be a lot of guests?”
“I hope so.”
She blinked at that. “Is there anything else I should know?”
Yes. I love you and I would never hurt you by saddling you with the responsibility of a failing man when you’ve lived your whole life taking care of other people’s problems. I’d never keep you from your dreams. He gave her a tight smile. “Just bring your party attitude.”
For a second she looked down but he could tell that she was smiling. “Ah, another version of ‘Let’s get this party started,’” she said, referring to their conversation the day of the interview. “Will there be dancing?”
And then he couldn’t hold back. He took her hand and kissed the palm. “Eden, there will always be dancing when you’re there. I guarantee it.”
He smiled back at her, even though a lance was impaling his heart. Because, of course, the
problem was that Eden wouldn’t always be there.
Eden stepped into the gardens wearing a white sundress with a narrow pale pink ribbon tied under her breasts.
Eight o’clock, Jeremy had said, and yet the gardens seemed too quiet for a gathering. Had she heard him wrong? Should she go back inside?
As if he’d heard her thoughts, he appeared on a side path and held out his arm. “You look lovely,” he said. “Don’t ask how I can tell. I just can, especially since you always look lovely.”
She placed her hand on his sleeve. “Where is everyone?” she asked. “Is it—are you and I meeting here so that you can brief me before we go inside?”
Looking up, she caught his devastating smile. “Something like that,” he agreed. “Some preliminary explanations are necessary.”
Eden nodded. “I didn’t bring my notepad.”
“That’s good. You know I hate that thing.”
“It helps me.”
He tilted his head. “You said you didn’t always write on it.”
“It helps me focus when I need to. So…who are the guests today? Are they important?”
“Some of the most important I’ve ever had.”
Eden suppressed a smile. “There was a time not so long ago when that would have made my knees shake.”
“But not now?”
She shook her head. “Not now.” And there was wonder in her voice. “I have you to thank for that. You’ve never treated me any differently from the way you treat everyone else. Because of that, the people who used to be so lofty and intimidating don’t worry me anymore. They seem…human. Just like me.”
Jeremy laughed. “That’s because they are. Human, that is. I don’t think anyone is just like you.”
His voice deepened, and Eden’s breath caught in her throat. It would be wrong and foolish to hope he was doing more than being polite when Jeremy was always polite to everyone. As Ashley had implied, it would be dangerous to want too much. “Shall we go inside?” she asked.
Jeremy captured her hand. “Not yet. I need to ask you something. You need to assist me a bit.”
She stood silently and looked up at him, turning to face him. In a summer-white jacket with his longish hair falling over his forehead and his eyes studying her with something that looked a lot like anticipation, he had never looked more maddeningly handsome. Eden hoped she could remember everything he was going to tell her. Right now she felt a bit faint. Jeremy seemed to be all she could concentrate on.
“Tell me how,” she said, trying to get her mind to function.
“All right, but first a question. What day is your birthday?”
She blinked. “April second. It was on the paperwork I filled out when I first came here, but…I…of course, you wouldn’t have bothered reading that since you knew me. Is it important?”
He smiled and touched her cheek. “Tonight, surprisingly so. I missed your birthday.”
“It’s okay. I wasn’t here then.”
“And you won’t be here for your next one, either.”
“No.” A lump formed in her throat.
“Then we’ll have to make amends. Ashley told me that your uncle never acknowledged your birthdays or Christmas. I never did like that man.”
The lump began to grow. “It’s okay. I’m all grown up and he’s gone now. I handle my own birthdays. My sisters call me.”
Jeremy frowned. For a second he looked away. “You’d think that the sisters you raised would make a greater effort,” he said, his voice a little loud as he continued to frown.
A sound she couldn’t identify came from Eden’s right. Whispering? Donald must be in the garden, she thought. No wonder Jeremy was frowning, if he thought they were having a private conversation.
“Don’t be mad at Donald,” she said. “He’s such a nice man and I’m sure he didn’t know we were here.”
“Excuse me?” Now Jeremy looked even more confused than she felt.
“The whispering,” she explained.
“Oh, yes. Donald,” he said with a wide grin. “He is a nice man. He helped me with this. So did Mrs. Ruskin and Lula. Spruced up the gardens, made phone calls, sent out faxes and e-mails, made the cake…”
“The cake?”
“That’s our cue.” The whispering solidified. “Surprise!”
Eden jumped as Jeremy took her arm and led her two steps to the first turn in the garden. “Surprise, Eden!” multiple voices called.
She looked from the tables set up by the fountain. There were her sisters, all of them. And Ashley as well as Fran, Kay and Robin, three friends and fellow teachers from St. Louis. Donald, Mrs. Ruskin and Lula were standing by, wreathed in smiles.
“Happy next year’s birthday, Eden,” Jeremy whispered, leaning to give her a kiss on the cheek.
“I don’t understand,” she said, shaking her head.
He touched her cheek. “I’m taking your advice and looking forward, not back, doing what should have been done for you a long time ago. I’m thanking you for everything you’ve done and all you are. What’s more, I’m definitely planning on dancing with you and enjoying a day with you away from work. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a party that wasn’t work related, so I guess I owe you for this, as well.”
And then, before she had time to say anything else, her friends and family came forward. “Jeremy is right,” her sister Helena said. “The girls and I should have thrown you a party a long time ago. You always tried to make our birthdays special even when we didn’t have any money.”
Quick tears filled Eden’s eyes. She turned to Jeremy to thank him, but he was on the other side of the fountain talking to Ashley. Her thanks would have to wait.
That man, she thought. That surprising, wonderful man! At a time when the tension in the house had been rising and she’d been worried out of her mind over him, he had turned the tables on her and done this. All because he’d heard she’d never had a birthday party. What would he do next?
Eden hoped it wasn’t anything too wonderful. She was already in love with him. Leaving him was already going to be agony.
She loved him…so much. The truth hit her full force. Intense pleasure at Jeremy’s gesture warred with tremendous pain. But she held her smile. Even if Jeremy couldn’t see it, he could sense it, she knew. And nothing was going to spoil his joy in giving her this day. Not if she could help it.
No one was going to learn about his blindness, either. Not even her family. His pride meant so much to him. She would keep his secret, no matter what.
The day was nearly over, Jeremy thought as Eden gave the last sisters hugs and saw them out the door.
“Thank you for coming,” he said to Eden’s youngest sister.
She bopped him on the arm. “You are a gem. Finally, someone taking care of Eden instead of the other way around.”
“Karen, stop hitting my boss,” Eden said. “And he is not supposed to be taking care of me. He pays me well and treats me with respect. That’s all that’s required.”
Jeremy grinned and winked at Karen. “Eden’s a bit obsessive about taking care of others.”
Karen laughed. “Don’t I know it! Has she moved your glass away from the edge of the table yet?”
“All the time,” he lied. “She can drive a man crazy.” Which was, of course, not a lie. “Somehow I survive,” he said affectionately.
“I didn’t really know you when we lived here, but I like you, Jeremy,” Karen said, and Eden’s other sisters agreed. “Don’t work her too hard, will you? Summer’s her only time to rest. I don’t know why she took a job. Be good to her.”
Jeremy murmured a promise. He moved away so that Eden could say goodbye to her sisters in private. As he turned to go inside, he heard Karen’s whisper and saw a blur as she seemed to be gesturing in his direction.
Automatically, his spine stiffened as he wondered if his slower-than-normal movements around obstacles, his off-centered way of looking at people and his gaffes had betrayed his limitations to
night. He felt self-conscious and he realized that this must be how Eden had felt all the time she had been growing up here. Different, conspicuous, pitied.
But she’d told him just tonight that he’d helped her overcome that feeling by treating her the way he treated everyone else. He realized that she’d taken to holding her head higher lately, not shying away from the wealthy locals or worrying that people might pity her.
What an amazing woman. He could probably learn from her. It was something to think about.
Later. Right now there was something else bothering him. When Eden’s family had gone, he took her by the elbow and turned her to face him.
“They don’t know about your financial difficulties?”
He didn’t have to struggle to see if Eden was frowning. Of course, she was. “It wasn’t their affair. I didn’t want them to worry.”
“They’re adults now. They could be giving you their support.”
“I know they’re adults, but they have their own problems.” And she didn’t even say that she would tell her sisters about her problems someday. It was clear that she’d never tell them or ask for assistance, but of course, she could be counted on to help others anytime help was needed.
That was when Jeremy realized that Eden would always take on the problems of those she cared about. Even when they were away from her. What that meant was…
Anger and frustration welled up in him. He ran his hands up her arms, and she shivered. He pulled her to him and kissed her, a hard kiss he fought to restrain. He pulled back when he wanted to move ahead and claim her.
“When you’re gone,” he said. “My problems will not be yours. I don’t want you to worry about me. Ever.”
“I know that you don’t,” she said, and there was a sadness in her voice. That was when he discovered one more thing about Eden and himself. When she left here she would worry…unless he convinced her that he would be leading a perfectly fine and happy life. That meant he had to do things he hadn’t anticipated doing, things he really didn’t want to think about yet.
Her Millionaire, His Miracle Page 13
