To Live Again

by Melody Dawn

  Quietly, she begins telling me that it scares her to say, “I love you” to anyone. She tells me that the only person that has ever loved her in her life is the staff in her parent’s home and her grandmother. I turn around and pull her into a hug, wanting to comfort her, because I can’t understand how her parents could not love this beautiful sweet girl. She then tells me that she does love me, but she is afraid that once I get to know her, I won’t stay with her.

  Pulling her chin up, I look into her eyes. “Why would you think that? When you love someone, you don’t leave them just because life gets difficult.”

  While I’m talking she begins to cry and it’s not the silent type of tears, these are full on gut-wrenching sobs. I blink quickly because I can feel my eyes watering as well.

  Reaching behind me, I turn off the stove, pick her up, and carry her into the living room. I sit on the couch with her in my lap and as she cries I stroke her back trying to comfort her. I don’t know what to say because I don’t know what is bothering her. I want her to come to me first, I don’t want to have to drag something out of her that will make her run or resent me in the future. So I sit and keep my mouth shut, although it’s killing me for her not to tell me what is going on.

  Her tears finally start to subside and I ask her if she’s ready to talk about it yet.

  She shakes her head no and says, “Jayson, I can’t…not yet…I promise, I will tell you everything soon. I just want to hold on to the idea of us a little longer.”

  This really pisses me off because technically she is saying she doesn’t trust me. I try to keep my voice even, but my words sound tense to my ears. “Why are you so sure I will leave you? Why don’t you have any faith in me?”

  She looks at me sadly and asks, “Why would you stay with someone like me?”

  Why does she keep talking in riddles…I wish she would just tell me what the problem is. “Someone like you. What does that mean?”

  She just looks at me and says, “I can’t.”

  At this admission, I feel so conflicted. I want to hug her and I want to tell her to leave. I decide to pick the hug since the other won’t get me anywhere.

  I know she is expecting me to get mad or tell her it’s over, but I decide that I have to pick my battles. The more we are together, the more she will see that I’m not going anywhere. Maybe then she will feel like she can tell me her secrets without the repercussion of me leaving her. So, I just pull her back to my chest and tell her that I’m not going anywhere and when she’s ready, I’ll be here listening.

  I feel the tension leave her body and then her stomach growls again. This makes me laugh because her stomach growls are really loud. I decide that serious time is over. The whole atmosphere is heavy and I want to change that so we can have a good meal and get back to where we were.

  Before I get up, I pull her face out of my chest so I can see her eyes. I’ve noticed that Chloe is good at hiding her emotions, but her eyes tell the story. I need to see what she is really thinking when I ask her about us.

  Gathering up my courage, I say, “I think I know how you feel, but I want to get this out there. I want us to be a real couple; I want everyone to know you’re mine. Is that what you want, too?”

  I can see the happiness in her beautiful eyes and she says, “I want that…more than anything…from the first time we met.” She looks away and then back to me while asking, “Are we crazy to be going this fast? If I told Maddie that we said ‘I love you’, she would tell me I was in lala land.”

  It’s obvious that this is bothering her so I try to reassure her the best I can. “I don’t know. I have never felt anything like I feel for you. I never believed in love at first sight until we met. All I know is that I want to be with you. If that makes me crazy, then I happily accept it. I don’t care what Connor, Madison, or anyone else thinks; only what we feel.”

  At this admission, she grabs my face and slams her lips to mine. It shocks me for a second, but my body takes over and I’m all in. I let her take control because I feel like she needs this. My thoughts start to fade away because she licks my lip and then sucks it into her mouth. I try to remain passive, but it’s too much and I growl into her mouth. Her tongue touches mine and the kiss goes wilder than ever. I know I told her that I would wait to take her when she trusted me enough with her story. But, my body isn’t listening to my brain right now. I stand up with her in my arms and walk up the steps to my room.

  Once we are in there, I lay her on the bed and pull my shirt over my head. She is laying there looking at me and when I start to unbutton my jeans, her eyes shoot back to me and widen.

  I wink at her and say, “Don’t worry, I’m not commando, perv.”

  She rolls her eyes while smiling and I take that to mean it’s ok to continue. Standing there in my boxer briefs, I tell her that she is overdressed. I also tell her to lose the clothes…not very smooth I know…but I’m not thinking with the head on my shoulders. Surprisingly, she does it quickly and without looking nervous, only surprised when I tell her to leave her panties on.

  She grins at me and says, “I don’t think this is going to work with my panties still on.”

  “Whatever, smart ass…we will get to that in a little while,” I tell her.

  I lie down on the bed and she gets in next to me. When she drapes her leg over mine and puts her head on my chest, I feel like a fucking king. I can’t voice my thoughts right now, but I know this is the only girl for me. I want her with me for the rest of my life. Fuck anyone that thinks we’re moving too fast. I’m not asking her to marry me right now or anything, but I know in the back of my mind that it will happen one day.

  We lie there quietly and I wonder if maybe this is as far as we should go. It’s been a heavy day and I don’t want to overwhelm her. Shaking my head at this thought, my cock probably thinks I’m crazy. But, I don’t want a quick fuck, I want her to be mine. So, I decide I’m not going to have her right now, but we can still have a little bit of fun.

  I roll her over and lying over her I cage her face with my arms. I lean down and whisper in her ear that we aren’t going to do everything right now because I don’t think she’s ready. She looks at me like she wants to hurt me and it makes me laugh…that’s one of the things I love about her…she always makes me laugh.

  I nip at her earlobe and tell her that it’s time for her to have some new experiences. I slide down her body to where her panties are and lean in. I can tell she is nervous because she tries to push her hips down into the bed. I stand up and slip her panties down her legs. Once she’s completely bare to me, I stand there for a moment looking at the most beautiful girl ever created; I still can’t believe she’s mine.

  I realize she is just lying there staring at me and I know I need to get started. In one way, I feel like I’m stripping her of her innocence, and like the caveman I am, my cock gets even harder knowing anything I do to her is brand new; no one else has ever been there before. I’ve never cared about this with any other girl, but with Chloe I’m glad it’s this way because the thought of her with anyone else makes me want to commit murder.

  “So princess, are you ready for a new experience?” Of course, she has to be a smart ass.

  She winks and says, “New experience, how do you know this is a new experience? I might do this all the time.”

  I can tell she is enjoying this and I decide there has been enough talking. I’m about to corrupt my princess and I couldn’t be happier.

  Bending her knees, I tell her, “Prop yourself up on those pillows. I want to see your eyes at all times.”

  My voice sounds harsh even to my own ears. She immediately follows my commands and I want to groan out loud because her pussy is completely exposed to me. She’s pink, glistening, and then I notice her hand moving down her stomach.

  “Don’t touch that, baby!”

  She looks surprised, but all I can do is grit my teeth and say, “That’s mine…don’t touch it. Today, I’m in charge. I’m going to be the o
ne to make you come, to make you scream, and to beg me to never stop. Put your hands under the pillow and don’t move them” I can see the trepidation in her eyes, but she does what I ask.

  I crawl onto the bed between Chloe’s legs and I can see the excitement in her eyes. I know she is ready for anything I plan to do to her. Feathering kisses on her right ankle and moving up to her inner thigh, I kiss and lick, while she moans and moves restlessly underneath me. I avoid her pussy and go to her left ankle and repeat the process. By the time, I get to what I know is going to be nirvana, her hips are moving up to meet my mouth.

  Taking a deep breath, I can smell how sweet she is. I look up at her and her head is thrown back.

  “Eyes, Chloe…I want to see them or I’m going to stop.”

  Like hell I will, but she doesn’t know that. I’m not usually this commanding in bed, but being with her brings it out in me. With her looking right at me, I begin placing suctioning kisses on her pussy lips.

  As her moans grow louder and she whispers, “Please Jayson, I need more.”

  “I know you do”, I tell her.

  And with that, I lick straight up from her slit to her clit. Almost like an electrical charge goes through her, her hips fly up and meet my face. I began licking around her clit, but never putting pressure on it. I want this to last as long as possible. Looking into her eyes, I see her begging me for release. Of course, I want to give her anything she wants, but I also want to prolong it a bit so I can see her come apart for me and then put her back together.

  I alternate nibbling and sucking lightly on her clit and this brings the loudest moan ever from her. I move down to her opening and push my tongue in carefully. She is so fucking tight that I don’t know how I’m going to get my dick into her without causing a lot of pain. I brush that thought from my mind because that is for another day. I begin tongue fucking her and her hips are moving in time to my thrusts.

  ‘There you go, princess, fuck my mouth. I want to taste you when you come.”

  I feel her walls begin to slightly flutter and I move back up to her clit, take it in my mouth, and suck while scoring it with my teeth. With that, she screams and comes all over my lips and I taste everything she has to offer. She is as sweet as I knew she would be, like fucking cotton candy, and I lick until I’ve gotten every last drop of my newest favorite dessert. One taste and I’m completely addicted.

  Wanting to hold her, I lie down next to her and gather her to me. She gets right into what I’ve come to think of as “our position.” She has her leg thrown over mine, my arms are around her waist, and her head is on my chest right above my heart.

  I pull her chin up and ask, “So, how was your newest experience?”

  She laughs and says, “Well, considering they probably heard me in downtown Houston, I would say I loved it.”

  Even though I know the answer, I still ask her, “No regrets, right?”

  I get an eye roll and she says, “Yeah, I really hate orgasms, Jayson!”

  I try to sound stern, but I don’t think I nailed it. “You’re such a smart ass!”

  I only hear more laughter and at this moment, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. Even though my cock feels like it’s at Defcon 5 status and all I want to do is bury myself in her, this moment definitely ranks up there as an all-time favorite.

  While I’m holding her, her hand slips down to my dick. “What about you,” she asks?

  I immediately say it’s ok even though just her touch makes me want to come like a 14 year old boy.

  I get another eye roll from her and she asks, “Why are you being so noble? Turnabout is fair play and you’re not going to lay there and suffer again like the last time.”

  Well, when she puts it like that, I can’t think of any reason to stop her. I think I’m about to get a hand job out of the deal and the next thing I know I feel her take the head of my cock in her mouth and suck. My whole body jerks and she lets it go.

  Looking at me, she says, “I’m not stopping this time.”

  I grit my teeth and shake my head as she begins to lick up and down my length. When she gets back to the head, she takes the head in her mouth, flicks her tongue around it, and then gently sucks. I try to count backwards in my head so I don’t blow at her first touches, but I’m on a hair trigger. I will be lucky if I make it a whole minute.

  She begins sucking in earnest and moving up and down on my cock. I can tell she’s not able to go all the way down. And I tell her to wrap her hand around the base,

  “Just stroke where you can’t reach, I don’t want to gag you.”

  She seems to take this as a challenge and I can see and feel her going deeper than ever. I move her hair away so I can see what she is doing like the dirty guy that I am. It’s such a turn-on to watch her take me in her mouth and feel her sucking me down. I tell her to run her tongue along the bottom while she is moving on me. When I feel her hit the spot underneath the head, it makes me go a little crazy.

  “I’m going to fuck your mouth now and you’re going to let me”, I growl out.

  In the back of my mind, I know she isn’t ready for this, but I’m not exactly thinking straight right now.

  I reach down and grab her face and say, “Hold still.” With that, she immediately complies, and I begin taking fast smooth strokes into her mouth. I feel my balls start to tighten up and the familiar tingling in my spine.

  Quickly, I say, “Chloe, I’m about to come; you need to move!”

  I think she is about to do just that when I feel a strong suction on my dick. I realize she isn’t going to let go and with a few more strokes, I shout her name and empty myself into her mouth.

  Finally, my brain starts coming back into focus. My body feels limp like its run a hundred miles. She is laying there with her head on my stomach and it hits me that I just fucked her mouth like she has been doing it for years, not like it was her first time. Although my body feels pretty damn awesome, I feel like shit. I can’t believe I lost control like that. I don’t know what to say to her; she isn’t Alyssa or any other meaningless fuck, and that’s how I treated her.

  My feelings must show on my face and I get a slap on the thigh while she says, “Don’t even start up with being Mr. Noble or I’m going to hurt you.”

  “That sounds promising; what are you going to do?”

  She looks up at me and says, “Jayson, I enjoyed every minute of it, you didn’t hurt me, and I definitely want to do it again. In fact, I’m damn horny now thanks to you!”

  I tickle her and say, “Really, I wonder what we can do about that.”

  She glares at me and asks, “What do you think? Make me come right now.”

  I roll her to her back and whisper, “Your wish is my command, princess.”

  I lean down to kiss her and she stops me and says, “Really, I enjoyed you taking control like that.”

  My heart beats faster at the thought that we are a perfect fit and I’m still wondering what I’ve done to deserve this girl. Whether I deserve her or not, I’m going to make her feel good. I think I could live in this bed with her, only taking bathroom and meal breaks. Actually, it would be nice to just forget the rest of the world exists and live in our sex bubble.

  Shaking my head at my crazy thinking, I kiss her lips and then move down to her neck and finally, her breasts. It occurs to me that I haven’t spent much time here and that’s a shame because she has the most perfect set of tits I’ve ever laid eyes on. They sit high on her chest, are perfectly formed, and she has the most goddamned gorgeous nipples I’ve ever seen. Taking one into my mouth, I lick all around her nipple without ever touching it. She thrusts her breast more into my mouth and I take the hint. Sucking her nipple into my mouth, I lick and pull with my teeth. With my other hand, I brush my fingers across her other breast and tug her nipple between my thumb and forefinger.

  Her moans begin to escalate and I move my hand down to her pussy. I run my fingers through her wetness and spread it around her clit. Taking one finger, I
insert it into her opening, making sure to be careful of the barrier I know is there. She widens her legs and I add another finger and begin thrusting in while pressing down on her clit with my thumb. All the while, I keep up a steady rhythm as she gasps and moans.

  I’m so wrapped up in what I’m doing, I barely hear her say, “I need more.”

  So, I suck her nipple into my mouth, gently biting it, and pinch her clit. She throws her head back and screams and I finger fuck her through her orgasm. With my fingers still buried in her, I can feel her walls fluttering, and I wonder if she can go again.

  Just like before, she reads my mind and says, “No, I can’t…I’m too sensitive.” I pull my hand away, lean down and kiss her, and finally just hold her until she’s calm again.

  We’re both quiet and she asks, “So, is this what you had on the agenda this morning when you said you wanted to come over here to talk?”

  She’s smirking at me so I give her a sneaky grin. “Not really, but I was hoping it would happen at some point today.”

  Pinching my nipple, she says, “I won’t be so easy next time. And by the way, you need to feed me. What happened to my eggplant and zucchini omelet?”

  I get a warm rag, clean her up, and pull one of my t-shirts over her head. It makes me laugh because it swallows her up like she is a child. After cl eaning up in the bathroom, I pull on my sleep pants and walk out to see her sitting on my bed.

  I walk over and scoop her up in my arms. “Let’s go feed you, princess.”

  She hides her face as her stomach growls even louder than before and we head down to the kitchen. As I fix our meal, we talk about school, my family, and then she brings up Connor and Madison.

  With a questioning look on her face, she asks, “Do you know something I don’t know? Because I know they were together last night and I know she likes him. And I think he likes her. Even if he spews out all that “no relationship” garbage.”