by Autumn Stone
Mrs. Jones, who had walked in my shoes, held me and patted my back.
“Baby girl, you’ll be ok. Didn’t I tell you to have faith?”
She had told me to have faith, but every night when I got in my van with Sierra I lost a little bit of faith. The van wasn’t the issue, it was all of the people telling me “no.” Each “no” felt like the Universe telling me that I would never amount to anything. That no one wanted me, or that no one was willing to take a risk on me. And, each “no” just wore me down.
Grabbing some tissues I blew my nose, went to the restroom and prepared to collect Sierra and go to the van.
Stepping outside of the building a steady drizzle landed on my face. “Just a few more days” I murmured to myself before I’m living in that beautiful mansion.
I look for Mr. de la Cruz’s car but I don’t see it. I was a little worried that he would wait to see where I went after picking up Sierra. My feet were still tender from earlier but it just was a 15-minute walk.
Sierra cooed sweetly in the way that babies do when they are cuddled. Those sweet coos I lived for. Shifting the heavy little bundle I prepared to enter the van.
The minute I put her down I could see that sweetness about to change, she was hungry. There was a premade bottle in the fridge it just needed to be heated up. The van had everything, and if I weren’t living with my sister, I would travel around the US in the van. It was a really cool van similar to the ones that you would see in on van life feeds on Instagram.
Once the shades were drawn I quickly changed into some jeans and a “Not Today Satan” sweatshirt.
Humming to myself I was startled to hear a knock on the window. Oh my God, someone has come to murder us.
“Cree, it’s Javier.” His firm sexy voice rose above the noise of the rain.
Drawing the curtains back I peer out just in case it’s someone else. It’s him.
Under no uncertain terms he tells me the following “You’re coming with me and moving into the house tonight.”
The feeling of being cared for sweeps over me and as much as I want to fight it and say no, the sound of Sierra crying keeps me from saying “no.” I’m so damn tired and I don’t have the energy to fight him.
It takes a few minutes to get situated in his expensive SUV that had every bell and whistle known to man. Sierra is fastened in her car seat sucking on her bottle and thankfully has stopped crying.
I lean my head on the door watching the water rundown the window while Exchange by Bryson Tiller plays in the car. The irony. I’m exchanging one situation for another.
The day catches up with me and I drift to sleep.
Javier
She looks so sweet dozing against the window. The tension of the day left her body as she fell asleep.
I still have some reservations about her living with Dante. He is not himself and he’s clearly battling some demons and I don’t want her caught up in his bullshit. But, she can’t continue living in that van with a baby.
We pull up to the house and I hate to wake her. Leaning over I lightly touch her face “Cree, we’re here.”
Those eyes flutter open and look confused for a second. “I’m sorry for falling asleep.”
“You had a long day.” I state the obvious. We exit her car and collect her stuff, Mrs. Paul opens the door and gives Cree a hug.
“Dearie, welcome home.”
And, unexpectedly, Cree starts to cry. Mrs. Paul comforts her and the sweet girl with the sad eyes captures a small part of me. But, she is not the one for me, even if I wanted her to be. Sooner than later Dante will stake his claim, he can’t fight her innocence. And, in that moment I wonder where he is.
Dante
I watch from the window as Javier brings Cree into the house. For the hundredth time that day since she left, I ask myself if she’s the right person for the job. There’s something about her that touches a part of my soul that hasn’t been touched in years.
She makes me feel vulnerable. Those dark eyes seemed to see into the dark areas of my heart. Those areas that I keep hidden from everyone else. The urge to take another hit sweeps over me and I wonder how I can keep this part of me, this dirty part of me hidden from her.
The girl who sees through me.
She’s here for Lily. I would give my life to see Lily’s face light up the way that it did when she was in Cree’s arms. How I feel means nothing.
I decide to call Gianna. She understands the game and wants nothing emotional from me. Cree is a girl wrapped up forever, I love you, and family, things that I can’t give her. How can I give what I’ve never had?
Cree
The emotion of the day catches up to me and I find myself in tears again. Mrs. Paul and Javier have been so kind to me. The last time I was taken care of like this was when my parents were alive.
We walk to my new room and I discover that it’s a two-bedroom suite. Sierra’s room even has a crib in it. I’m moved beyond words. And, I settle her into the crib as she’s already asleep.
“The crib was Lily’s.” Mrs. Paul tells me.
The room is beautiful. And, my bedroom is fit for a princess. There is even a ensuite bathroom with a huge bathtub and a steam room. My mouth drops in shock. There is even a kitchenette for those days when I just want to stay in.
It’s even more than I could have imagined.
“Mrs. Paul, where is Lily’s room?”
“It’s directly across from yours.”
“That’s wonderful! What time does she normally wake up?”
“It depends on whether or not she has a good night’s rest.”
I decided to begin my duties tomorrow and I can’t wait. In that moment I know that my life is about to change for the better.
The Next Morning
Opening the door to Lily’s room, I can’t believe how beautiful it is. It’s fit for a princess. She has a princess bed and someone had thoughtfully placed cute exposed shelves inside a walk in closet for her clothes. No dangerous armoires in her room.
I know the moment that she wakes up when she shifts in the bed and claps her hands, then she opens her arms indicating she wants a hug.
“Hey sweet girl! Let’s get dressed for breakfast.” We head to the closet to pick out her clothes and then she brushes her teeth and showers with some supervision for me.
We head to the kitchen and I feel very professional in my slacks and long-sleeved blouse. It’s a bit formal for taking care of a small child and I plan to ask about a dress code.
What I don’t expect is to see the scary lady in the kitchen.
Gianna “Hello beautiful.”
Stammering I manage to get a pleasant greeting out.
“You were embarrassed last night weren’t you?” She asks. I decide to ignore the question and get started feeding the girls while wishing that the somewhat scary woman would forget I was in the room.
No such luck.
“He doesn’t see how beautiful you are. You’re built like my best friend Tiana. She also happens to be one of the most famous plus-sized models in the world. You just need some different clothes, some makeup, and a new hair-style for someone your age. How old are you?”
Basically, I need a complete makeover? Reluctantly I answer the age question because she’s not going away.
“I’m 25 years old. You don’t have to pretend that I’m pretty.” Because I’m sure that’s how she’s trying to connect with me and I’m not sure why.
“Listen, I’m a scary bitch, and I mean what I say. In fact, I feel sorry for Dante. You’re the most dangerous thing in his home. Virginity and innocence is so enticing.” With that Gianna continues sipping her coffee in a languid pose that I could never duplicate because I’m always stressed out.
The air changes as Dante walks into the room. If he’s surprised to see me there he doesn’t show it. He walks over to Gianna’s chair and hugs her from behind while sliding his hand into her robe.
Whoa.
He kisses her neck and then
walks over to get a cup of coffee as if nothing had happened.
Thank God the girls were done eating. I need to get out of there. Picking up Sierra and depositing Lily’s dishes into the dishwasher I begin Lily’s instructions.
“Lily, kiss daddy before you leave sweetheart.”
Lily dutifully runs to her father and he lifts her up into the air making her smile. And she places kisses all over his face. He may be a lady’s man, but the love he has for his daughter is his one redeeming quality.
Dante
I knew it was out of line to fondle Gianna in front of Cree, but I couldn’t resist. I felt the urge to see how far I could push her. And, I knew she would stick it out because she needed the job.
And, Lily didn’t see anything because she was facing a different direction.
I knew the moment she noticed my inappropriate behavior, shoving her chair back quickly she popped up and picked up her little sister. Then, she began collecting Lily’s dishes and putting them in the dishwasher.
Gianna, cold-hearted bitch that she was, raised an eyebrow and continued drinking her coffee.
Then, Cree does something that’s unexpected, she tells Lily to kiss me before they leave.
I love my daughter, but this is how I imagine families, real families, interact. I love the hugs and kisses but, I don’t love the sense of loss that I experience when they leave the room.
“Dante, she’s not up for our games.” Gianna states what I already know. But, it’s hard to fight something that you have no control over.
I’m going to try.
She’s here for Lily. She’s not for you.
Part I-6 Months Later
Dante
The Mouse is so timid. I love to mess with her because she never fights back. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if she did.
The guys love her.
She quietly asks how they’re doing, prepares fucking cookies for them and teases them about their fucking love lives.
She’s the fucking help. I’m lying to myself. She’s done what I was worried about, she made us a family. And, if I wanted to be honest, she has been wonderful with Lily.
In fact, Lily absolutely loves her. And, I can see why. The Mouse (Cree) treats her like her own kid. She reads to her, plays with her, doesn’t baby her, and gives her unconditional love.
I’d love her too if I were Lily.
The Mouse has managed to create a deeper atmosphere of family in our ragtag group of billionaire misfits. We even enjoy playing up our knick name “The Sexy Sixx” because we may be known for a somewhat swinging lifestyle.
But, that has begun to bore me. I’m no longer interested in sharing women. It seems like I’m only interested in getting high and I’m not sure what to do about that. It’s time to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, I have a problem.
“Hey Cree!” Javier shouts “Where are my cookies?!” I have to fight the urge to punch one of my best friends in the face. Every since he brought her to the house he has been her biggest fan.
She laughs and brings out a tray filled with different types of freshly baked cookies.
“Would you like coffee with that?” She asks sweetly, eyes twinkling with laughter.”
“You know how I like it! Dark and sweet just like you.” He kisses her cheek and the other guys start laughing. Cree blushes and looks down at the tray.
She has that type of relationship with everyone but me. In fact, the Mouse turns to me and the smile slides off her face.
“Sir, would you like some cookies?” She whispers timidly while looking down.
In that moment I was shocked by what I wanted and it was those sweet lips on me. WTF? There was something about the Mouse that had captured my imagination and my interest.
I spent an unhealthy amount of time observing her in-between exercising obsessively, getting stoned, work, travel, and playing with Lily.
She had no life other than caring for the kids and studying. Her life was so quiet that in times of drug induced paranoia I wondered if she was a spy for one of our competitors.
But, we’d checked her out and her background check came up clean. She was a shy girl who lived with her parents and was…good. It was like living with an angel or a saint.
And, I’m no saint.
I realize with a start that I haven’t answered her question and that the moment has stretched into an awkwardly long moment.
“No.” Maybe I could have been a little nicer.
“Ok.” She sighs. Lily, who always tags along with her, tilts her head and looks at me. I wonder what’s going on in that head of hers.
Then she tells me.
She runs at me, kicks my shin, and shouts “Be nice to my mama!!” Then, she runs away.
The room breaks out into mayhem.
The guys know what a big deal this is, the Mouse looks stunned and I’m hit with an emotion that I’m unfamiliar with because usually I don’t give a shit.
Shame.
Cree
We had settled into an uneasy pattern for the past 6 months. I knocked around the mansion with the kids, studied, and tried to avoid Dante and his weird mood swings.
Dante ignored me and carried on like I imagined he normally did before I arrived on the scene.
Gianna had come and gone and he was currently with a stunning African model named Jamila. She was incredibly sweet and imagine that she will be too sweet for Dante for the long run.
None of my business.
I hate to admit that during the dark of night I let my imagination wander and I wonder about the different men in the Sexy Sixx. I was so sheltered that I didn’t know about them or their knick name until Gianna told me about it.
We had an uneasy truce towards the end of the time she was with Mr. Bonnano and she had become protective of me like a scary big sister who would slash anyone who messed with her little sister. Even though she and Dante weren’t seeing each other, we met up occasionally for coffee.
Surprising.
It was during one of those coffee hangouts that she warned me about falling for any of the men, especially for Dante.
“Cree, Dante is fighting some demons that you don’t need to be dealing with. But, I feel like I’m telling you too late.” She looks at me pityingly.
“Gianna, he would never want to be with me. I’m 100 pounds overweight, I’m painfully shy, awkward, and am taking care of my baby sister.” Basically, I’m stating the obvious to her.
Gianna smiles at me. “You have no idea how wonderful you are. You helped out your mother, you’re taking care of your little sister, and you’re studying to help the lives of children. You’re an angel. And, if you weren’t so genuine and sweet, I would actually hate you. And, I never want to hear you talk about your weight. You’re stunning. Whether you’re 100 lbs overweight or not, you are beautiful! Don’t make me beat your ass. If your weight is bothering you health wise go to the doctor and talk to them about it. I’m sick of you bitching about it and not doing anything about it. Black women die because they don’t take care of their health.”
In that moment, I’m struck by a sense of guilt. What would happen to Sierra if I died? She has no one.
“Do you have a therapist that you would recommend to me? I have some stuff that I need to work through before I try to lose weight.”
“Yes, would it bother you if I suggest my therapist? She works wonders. I used to be even angrier.” Dayum, I think to myself. That therapist must work wonders.
“I would love to get their information.”
I never expected to feel like I belonged to a family. The guys were so sweet with me. I’m not even sure why I started baking them cookies, but they absolutely loved it.
Jordan and Jaxon Donovan were scary, complicated brothers who ran a multi-national corporation. They had a lovely family of equally criminal relatives. I tried to avoid knowing too much about what they did professionally.
Javier de la Cruz was my favorite. Maybe, because I thought of him as my rescuer.
Daniel Park and Alexei Petrov were the only two that I hadn’t met. And then there was Dante.
The men were sexy, dangerous, bold, and alpha males to their core.
Everything was going well until the incident at the Mountain Cabin.
