by Autumn Stone
I look up to see Gage peering into the room and realize that my secret wasn’t so secret.
He gives me a brotherly hug and answers the question that must be in my eyes. “Yes, I knew who the daddy of your baby was. Those green eyes don’t lie. And, yes, I decided it was time to move this situation along. The Cartel trying to kidnap you threw an unexpected wrench into my plans. But, I’m happy with the end result.”
“Thank you! I’m not sure how long my pride would have kept me from contacting him.”
The rest of the guys hugged me and looked in on the girls who continued to sleep through the noise. Every once in awhile one of the guys would mutter after stepping on a Lego.
My family was complete.
Dante
I want to be angry with Cree because she never told me about my son. When the door swung open and I saw her I thought I was looking at a mirage. The tiny enfant in her arms, and the fact that she had lost a significant amount of weight despite the fact that she’d had a baby.
I didn’t care and I remember the hurtful stuff I said when I was trying to fool myself and everyone else by trying to push her away.
Her eyes had looked at me with a mix of shock, regret, and I believe, longing. The look was reflecting back what I was feeling about her.
She is looking at me steadily and I know in that moment that the power dynamic in our relationship has changed.
This woman is no longer “The Mouse” she is a lioness-fierce, proud, and unwilling to put up with my shit.
She sees me, she has always seen me and as I hold the miracle of our son in my arms I thank God that I didn’t die that night when I had lost the will to live.
I walk over to the bed where Lily and Sierra are sleeping and I see what the future has in store for me.
In my life I’ve been a bad man, a broken man, a man who was dead inside. But now I am healing. And, with the love of the woman who I want to become my wife, and my children, I see a future where I used to see no hope.
It won’t be easy, but, it will be worth the fight.
Two Weeks Later-Dante and Cree
Cree agreed to go the cabin in Breckenridge with me. We had a lot of lost time to make up for and some conversations that needed to be had. Because I was still in recovery mode, I still hadn’t made the return back to work and would be slowly transitioned back into my role.
We brought along Mrs. Paul to help out with the kids so that Cree and I could have some dedicated time together.
Cree had been sweet, but distant.
Cree
It was time to have the talk I wanted to avoid but we needed to have.
Sitting on the deck I watched the sun set behind the mountains. Each time I was in Colorado I was so at ease, but this time I was nervous. I’d agreed to spend time with Dante to see if we could move forward from where we left off.
It was a conversation that I was happy to have, but also frightened about. What if we couldn’t figure things out and move forward. What if Dante hasn’t changed?
Dante
“Thank God we brought Mrs. Paul here. I don’t know how people take care of that many kids without some help. I’m exhausted.”
Cree laughed quietly. “I’m just glad that Giovanni sleeps so much. And, that’s easy to nurse him.”
At that I perk up. “Giovanni likes to hangout at one of my favorite places.”
I love it when her skin darkens as she blushes.
“Seriously though Cree, it’s time we talked. I need to share my story and I’m not sure where to start.” I’m nervous.
What will she think about me after I share what I did?
Will she hate me?
There is no way I can move forward with her without telling her my truth.
She looks at me innocently while sipping her tea. It’s too bad she can’t have something stronger for the conversation that we’re about to have.
“You look nervous…” and with that she kisses me softly on the lips. “Tell me your story.”
And, with that, I begin to share what shaped me. The Devil who was my father, how my soul died, and how meeting her made me even more aware of the losing battle I was fighting against the emptiness inside me.
I told her how I thought of her as “The Mouse” and how her sweetness ensnared me.
That I became her slave and couldn’t think of anyone else, even when I slept with other women.
I told her that I had given up and the day that I ran into the traffic I didn’t care whether I lived or died. That was a truth I’d admitted to no one else but her.
I admitted that the day I began to believe in miracles was the day when Lily shouted at me and kicked my leg.
And, it didn’t matter what size she was because “I love you Cree. You gave me back the hope that I’d lost along the way. What greater gift could you give me? You healed my soul, helped my daughter, and gave me a son. You saw through what I showed you.” That was the hardest truth to share because I wasn’t completely sure that she shared the same feelings.
She began sniffling as tears ran down her face and blew her nose in the most unsexy way possible.
My girl was sexy, but she cried ugly and I loved her for it.
Cree
The horror of hearing Dante’s story will stay with me for as long as I live. His father’s depravity is beyond what I can comprehend and to do what he did to his own child makes me question everything.
Liliana is Dante’s saving grace and I’m forever grateful to her for raising such a wonderful man, broken though he was. I wonder about the scars on her soul and I now understand why she has always been so kind to me.
Dante explains that because of the kindness of strangers, they were able to move forward from the evil experienced at his father.
“You met me during the hardest time of my life. Losing my parents, losing my home, taking care of my sister while going to school. Gaining the weight and feeling like the world was kicking me while I was down. I understand now why you were such a dick at times and so confusing when it came to dealing with me.
But, I want to start fresh. I don’t want to begin a relationship with you based on those previous experiences with me. You know I never really dated before? There was a reason why I was a virgin, I was always the shy, nerdy, fat black girl. No one ever wanted to be with me until you. Then, you were a hot mess, confusing, and messed up.
I’m not saying this to hurt you, it’s just a truth that can’t be denied. And now I’ve had your baby, but we’ve never dated, or done the things that I’ve dreamed of doing with a boyfriend.
Dante, I want us to date and get to know each other. I’m afraid that this new version of you isn’t going to last. And, who knows, maybe I’ll gain the weight back and you won’t find me sexy.
We’ve been tested in many ways, but we have been committed to one another in our hearts.”
Nodding in agreement, Dante took my hands, leaned forward and gave me butterfly kisses. The sweet kisses that were the gently brush of eyelashes together that everyone used to do as kids.
“What if I said that today is the start of our forever? And that I’m happy to do anything I need to do to get you to believe that we should be together.”
“Could we stay in Breckenridge while we work on us? I know that you’re not at work yet. I would like to just hang out with you and be away from it all.” I’m hoping he says yes…what will I do if he says no?
“Yes, baby, anything you want.” He agrees so easily to my demands. He might not like the next one.
“I don’t think we should sleep together during this time.” I say baldly. I laugh inwardly when I see his forehead wrinkle in confusion and then in resignation.
“You’re right. We had sex, but we haven’t experienced the intimacy that occurs when you truly know someone.” And, with that we begin to date one another.
Three Months Later
Dante and I have gotten in the habit of working out with one another. I like to eat my food and I wanted
to find a different way to cope with stress besides emotional eating. Also, exercise was a great way to deal with the tension of not having sex together was creating in our relationship.
We would either dance together, run, hike, or explore the town. Dancing was my favorite. We would choreograph dances and practice for “music videos.” Let’s be real, it was foreplay. But, we’d become pretty good dancers a long the way.
This weekend the kids were with Liliana at the ranch. I had a suspicion that there was more to that story than she was telling us, but, I didn’t want to upset Dante with the idea that his friend might be sleeping with his mom.
She’s grown.
We’d been playing around in the gym for a while when the music changed, Miguel Come Through and Chill came on and the mood in the room shifted. I was tired of fighting the urge to be with Dante.
It was time.
He held out his hand and pulled me up from where I was sitting on the floor and turned me towards him.
His green eyes stared into mine and I knew that we were on the same page. He pulled me flush to him and I could feel his desire for me.
Feeling bold, I pressed against him and then slipped my hand between us. In this new phase of our love story it was time for me to be bold and take control.
So, I did.
Licking Dante’s neck, I wanted to communicate without words that I was the boss of this moment.
Gently cupping his balls through his athletic pants, I leaned into his neck smelled the intoxicating scent of his cologne and fresh sweat from our previous exertions.
His breath hitched as he looked down at me in anticipation. I loved being bold and discovering the power I had over him.
Walking into him, I maneuver us over to the bench press and direct him to sit down. Reaching down to the edge of his shirt, I grab it and pull it over his head and throw it onto the floor.
He smiles.
Leaning in I nibble his lip and suck the tip of his tongue as it darts into my mouth.
His tongue tastes like the mint gum he had been chewing earlier. Fresh, minty, and a little sugary.
“I want to see you Cree.”
It’s such a reasonable request that I grant it. I’m only wearing a sports bra and leggings and so I decided the leggings would go off first revealing the black that I was wearing underneath.
Dante reaches out to grab my hips but I step back, smile and shake my head.
This is my show.
The music changes. Stay Ready by Jhene Aiko begins to play.
I have waited lifetimes to find you…Jhene says
I turn and give him a lap dance. He likes it.
I’ve gotten good at it and I’ve been practicing.
He places his hands on my waist holding me firmly on him as I gently grind on him while raising my arms up.
His hands move up to my breasts and caresses then softly, tweaking my nipples playing me like an instrument.
“Stop teasing me Cree.” He moans and then turns me around swiftly, so swiftly that I stumble into him.
He grabs the edges of my sports bra and pulls it over my head and throws it. I’m going to be crawling around the room finding my clothes later.
Now Jhene’s The Pressure is playing…I care about you baby, more than you ever know, than you ever know.
I grab his pants by the waistband and pull them down. He stands up awkwardly to help me then sits back down. I sit on him with a leg on each side of him. It’s the perfect position.
The urge to grind against him takes over me and so I do. My clit keeps hitting his penis and its so fucking delicious. Painful. Exquisite.
This was my man. Flawed, recovering, sober, and he wanted only me. Big me, skinny me, in-between weight me. Beautiful black me.
I no longer doubted it.
We kissed long and hard as I road him and then he slipped his hand between our legs and moved my thong to the side.
“Let me in.” He said in between kisses.
And, so I did.
Controlling the pace was incredible. It was intoxicating. And the pressure was building inside of me. He began to push up harder and I felt like I would pass out.
My legs tightened around his waist and my core tightened around him as I came hard, so hard that I almost blacked out in surprise and shock. At my first tightening around him, he began to cum hard and fast into me.
I thought climaxing at the same time was a myth.
It’s not.
Still shaking and slick with sweat, I lean against his chest in exhaustion. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest as he kissed my head.
“I will fall off this thing if we don’t move soon.” He joked. Clenching my legs around his waist he stood on shaky legs and walked us through the house and into our bedroom.
In a smart move, Dante had a mini-fridge built into the wall. Pulling out a bottle of sparkling apple cider, he pours us a couple of glasses
The drink trickles down my throat and placing my glass on the nightstand and find myself drifting off to sleep. I’m so happy.
Dante
Tonight was different. Tonight was the night that I knew it was time to start our forever.
Carefully getting out of the bed I start a fire in the fireplace and think about the miracle of having Cree in my life.
She looked like an angel on the bed: an angel who had come to earth to save me from myself.
Her beautiful brown skin glowed with health and vitality. The faint stretch marks on her belly showing what she went through to bring our son into the world.
Her love for Lily that helped bring her out of a self-imposed silence. This woman was my everything.
Quietly, I brought in the flowers that I had ordered and hidden in my man cave. Hundreds of peonies in pink and white, as well as orchids now decorated our room. Candles were carefully lit in bowls of water.
Chuckling, I laughed when she let out a cute little snore. Cree would hate me if I told her she snored.
Knowing that she would be hungry when she woke up, I placed a charcuterie board filled with cheeses, nuts, and meats next to a bowl of strawberries and pieces of chocolate.
I then settled back onto the bed and waited for the love of my life to wake up.
Cree
I was so freaking hungry. It was the middle of the night when I woke up to what could only be described as a magically wonderland of peonies and orchids decorating the entire room.
In fact, it was the smell of the flowers that woke me up in addition to my growling stomach.
How did he do this? I wondered to myself.
My movements alerted him to the fact that I was up and his eyes sleepily opened as he looked at me.
A slow smile lit up his face and his hand slowly reached out and caressed my face as if he was trying to commit the features to memory using his fingertips.
Leaning over, he kisses my lips and I feel as if I’m drowning in the love that I feel.
“It’s beautiful Dante. I love this so much.” I want him to know that I’ve fallen even deeper in love with him. Not because of the flowers, but because of all of the care that he has shown me, and how hard he has worked at becoming the best version of himself.
We come together slowly, shaking of the last hold of sleep and begin kissing. Moving together with a tempo that only our two bodies can make together.
This time he is totally in control.
Instead of hard and rough, he takes it slow and deliberate.
Flipping me on my belly he positions me onto my hands and knees. I’m still shy about doing it in this position. I feel so exposed.
My breasts are fuller than before because of the baby and as he positions himself behind me he plays with my breasts.
Then, he rearranges me and places a pillow in front of me.
“Lean down baby.”
I look back at him nervously.
He moves again and I feel something touching me. It’s a strawberry. He rubs the chilled fruit against me and then eats it.
>
Then he sips a little sparkling water and instead of swallowing, keeps a little in his mouth and then sucks my labia. I feel the bubbles tickle against me and I find the sensation intrigues me and turns me on at the same time.
