by Teri Kay
“He’s seen the news and wants to see you tonight.”
“K,” was all I said.
“Sent,” Rose snickered.
“Wait, what?”
“You said "K," so I assumed you wanted to see Nathan.”
“No, bitch, I was saying "K" to you. I broke it off with him, remember? I really don’t want to deal with all of this right now.”
“Too late. You can thank me later,” she bluntly told me.
I slept for most of the day. When I woke up, Rose was gone and I had no idea when or if Nathan was coming over because I hadn’t heard from him since Rose sent him that text. I knew he was playing in a tournament, but didn’t know what time it was over. I decided now was as good of a time as any to start reading my missed messages.
Text messages were first. My mom, Nathan and Rose were all very concerned about me. But Lucas just straight out got hateful.
Lucas- What the fuck Ryann? Great way to tarnish your name and your reputation. I always knew you were a slut.
You’ve got to be kidding me right? He was the one who left me! He was the one in a strip club already getting married again! What right did he have to call me anything? I couldn’t stop the angry tears from falling. Lucas McKennan would get what’s coming to him.
When I checked my Facebook most of the messages were from friends or coworkers asking if it was me or that some stripper had the same tattoo as me. I’m glad that not everyone recognized me.
I decided to call my mother back. “Hey, Mom,” I said when she finally picked up. I had no idea what time zone she was vacationing in.
“Good morning, sweetie,” she muttered, still half asleep.
“Morning?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s three fifteen a.m. here in Paris. It’s okay. How are you? Was that you on TMZ?”
I explained to my mother everything that had happened over the last month. “I’m not sure if I'm ashamed that you're a stripper or proud that you are dating a pro football player," was her only response.
“Thanks, Mother,” I said sarcastically. “On that note, I’ll talk to you later.” I curled myself up on the couch and cried.
When the doorbell rang, I wasn’t sure if I was scared, relieved, or pissed off. I seemed to have all the emotions immediately rushing through my brain. But as soon as I saw Nathan’s eyes looking at me with such genuine care and concern, I jumped into his arms and held on for dear life.
I told Nathan everything. There was no need to hold back anything from him now, and I cared enough about him to give him an honest answer. He took me for the most amazing ride of my life. Being naked across his bike was so exhilarating. In that moment, I realized the true meaning of reckless abandon. With Nathan, I felt free. And when he told me he was falling for me I knew that I would be safe. No matter what happened in the future.
Nathan and I went back to my place to get some sleep before he had to play in the last day of his sponsorship tournament and then he needed to spend some time Ella. I was off work until Monday, so I figured I would use the time to figure out my next move.
I called my closest friend and teacher union representative, Melinda, to get some advice on what was left of my teaching career.
“Holy shit, Ry, that was you?” she practically yelled into the phone.
“Yeah, it was,” I confessed. I explained the entire story to her.
“Wow, lady, that is one hell of a summer vacation,” Melinda pointed out. “I had no idea that you were struggling so bad. You always said everything was good.”
“Yeah, well, not so much.”
“And, wait let me get this straight. The groom you danced for was Lucas?” she asked.
“Yeah, and he has been sending me horrid text messages. He seriously called me a slut. I don’t trust him at all.”
“Well, to be honest, you have only two choices. You can wait to see what happens and hope you don’t get caught. If you do, you risk losing your teaching credential. Or resign before the district forces you to. If you do that, you may get away with your credential since they didn't have to ask you to you to leave,” she told me.
“Thanks, Mel. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
By Friday morning, I had become extremely pissed off that Rich had not called me to see how I was dealing with all of the media attention. Maybe it was something he was used to, but I sure as hell wasn’t. I knew he was at a kid’s training camp, but he didn’t live under a rock. Should I call him or wait? I mean it really didn’t matter at this point because Nathan was my man and I knew that without a doubt. Yet I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to that teddy bear of a man that held me the other night.
My thoughts were interrupted by the alert of a text message. God, please don’t let it be another one from Lucas.
Nathan - Hi butterfly. I miss you something fierce. Ella and I will be there in 2 hours to get you. Pack for the weekend.
Me - Where are we going?
Nathan - Surprises, baby. I am full of surprises.
Holy crap. I was meeting Nathan’s daughter. What if she didn’t like me? What if I didn’t like her? What if she’s jealous? Fuck, what if I’m jealous? All of this was just nonsense. Ella and I were going to get along just fine. I hoped.
Two hours later I heard Nathan’s truck pull up in my driveway. My hands started to shake as I opened the door. My nervousness was obvious to Nathan. “Calm down, butterfly. She doesn’t bite,” he whispered in my ear when he hugged me hello.
“Hi, Ms. McKennan. These are for you,” Ella sweetly said to me handing me some beautiful flowers. She quickly ran to the back door as soon as she saw Roxy in the backyard.
“Jackson says he’s really mad because I get to meet Roxy before he does.” She giggled as she blew my dog kisses through the window.
Nathan came up from behind me and whispered, “We’re going to have to do something about that last name of yours, butterfly.” He discreetly placed soft kisses on the back of my neck.
Feeling the goosebumps take over my skin, I knew I needed to change the subject. “Are we taking Roxy to your place again?”
“We sure are. Let’s get a move on so we don’t miss our flight,” Nathan said clapping his hands and shuffling us all out the door.
A few hours later, we pulled up to a private runway at the Las Vegas airport. I was in major shock when I saw what was waiting for us.
“Holy wow, Nathan. A private jet?” I asked.
“Holy wow?” he chuckled back at me.
“Sorry,” I smiled. “Good language is a habit around kids.”
“I think it’s cute,” he kissed me on the nose. “Only the best for my girls.”
Ella took the seat next to me rather than the seat next to her dad. It made me extremely nervous at first, but then I realized she wanted to work together to try and figure out where we were going. I figured she was in on the surprise with Nathan. But her not knowing gave us something to bond over.
Since we were over land, we quickly determined we were flying east. Ella was an exceptional young lady. From our conversations, I could tell that she was bright, determined, and creative. All the things I would have wanted my daughter to be. As Ella and I continued to bond, I occasionally caught Nathan watching us and smiling. For my life feeling like it was falling apart earlier in the week, this seemed to be the start to a perfect ending.
By the flight times, Ella and I were able to figure out that we were either going to Florida or New York. When the bright lights of the city skyline came into view, I was a giddy little school girl right along with Ella. I loved New York City.
Being a teacher I'd never really lived in the lap of luxury. But after flying on a private jet and making love in a bed at the Four Seasons overlooking the city, a girl could get used to that type of lifestyle.
Nathan definitely put so much thought into the weekend, so the three of us could bond together. Central Park Zoo, Lion King on Broadway, and the Statue of Liberty were all on the agenda. It was crazy to think that the life
that I'd always wanted with Lucas, I was now finding it with a man I met working as a stripper.
The barrage of text messages from Lucas kept coming, so I had to turn off my phone for the entire day; calling me a slut and a whore, threatening to tell the school board of my “extra-curricular” activities. Why was he acting like that way?
Nathan flashed me a look that told me get out of my head. If he only knew.
When we arrived back at the hotel, late Saturday evening, my body was exhausted from all the walking we'd been doing. Nathan tucked Ella into bed in her room. I could hear the mumblings of a conversation from the other room and as much as the nosy part of me wanted to eavesdrop, I decided it was best not to. I went into the bathroom and drew myself a bath in the deep tub.
I stepped in the hot water, letting the warmth relax every muscle of my aching feet. Sinking down and closing my eyes, I heard Nathan enter our room and undress.
“Honey, are you joining me?” I asked in my sexy, 'you better come here and fuck me' voice.
He didn’t answer. I thought I'd said it loud enough for him to hear. I tried again. Still nothing. What was he doing?
“What the hell is this, Ryann?” Nathan stormed in, shoving his phone in my face.
There in front of me were pictures of Rich and I in bed together the night I spent with him. That asshole posted them on the Vaughn Haley Instagram with the caption—Can’t wait to do this again, baby girl. Miss you.
Oh. Fuck. Me.
I had never seen that look on Nathan’s face before. The anger in his eyes was genuine, real, and deep. “You lied to me, Ryann,” he raised his voice. “You’re in fucking bed with G! I asked you if you slept with him and you said no. I really didn’t think you’d lie to me.”
My jaw dropped. “I did not lie to you, Nathan. I didn’t have sex with G,” I told him with complete conviction and honesty.
“It’s hard to believe that when I'm seeing this! You’re kissing him in this one, Ryann,” his voice got louder. “Can’t wait to do this again? Right. And I'm just supposed to believe that you didn’t have sex with the NFL playboy of the year?”
“Yes, Nathan you are,” I did my best to keep my cool even though I was flaming mad on the inside. “I told you I would never lie to you and I didn’t.” I started to get myself out of the tub. My relaxing bath was ruined anyway.
“Why am I supposed to believe you? You’ve lied to me since the day we met,” he yelled, sneering at me.
It felt like he punched me in the gut. Never in a million years did I think Nathan would use my omissions against me. I felt the tears start to pool in my eyes. “Because I fucking love you, Nathan,” I whispered as I pushed past him and into our room.
Walking over to the window, I stared blankly at the city skyline. I heard the bedroom door shut, then the door to our suite. Nathan walked out and said nothing in response.
I was utterly pissed off at Rich. After the night that I spent with him, I honestly thought he was different from the way the media described him, but the fact that he did this to me on Instagram made me think otherwise. I vaguely remember him snapping a few pictures, but I thought he was just goofing around. And now once again causing problems for Nathan and me.
My first thought was to message Rich and ask him his reasoning for posting the photos when I haven’t heard from him since it all went down. But then it hit me that I really didn’t care. The only person I cared about walked out the door on me tonight when I admitted to him and myself that I loved him. I had fallen in love with Nathan Sims somewhere in all this mess.
Grabbing my phone, I decided to take of the Rich problem once and for all. I logged onto the Vaughn Haley Instagram. With one simple press, I deleted the account. Vaughn Haley had caused more headaches in my life this summer than she’d been worth.
I slipped on the sexy, but appropriate nighty I brought and crawled into bed. I was hoping Nathan would have been back by now, but I'd obviously said too much. Hugging his pillow, I cried.
An hour later, I heard the doors shut and Nathan stumbled in. I could smell the alcohol on him. He crawled into bed and put his arm around me. “Butterfly, you awake?” he whispered. I wasn't sure why, but I pretended to be asleep.
“I’m sorry, Ryann. I love you too,” he confessed.
The flight home the next afternoon was quiet. We didn’t talk about the I love you's exchanged. I wasn't sure if Nathan knew if I was awake or not, but I didn’t think that’s how either of us planned on saying those words to each other. Ella noticed the silence on the plane, we just explained it as us being tired.
It was after ten by the time Nathan dropped me off at home. “Can I just bring Roxy by in the morning?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said, hopping out of the truck. Walking inside my house, I never looked back at Nathan or Ella, because I knew I would start crying.
I slept like shit that night. I tossed and turned, hoping Nathan would show up because technically it was the morning. But he never did. What the hell happened between us?
I woke Monday morning with half a clear head. If nothing else, I knew what I needed to do with my job. I wrote up my resignation letter and sent it to my principal and Human Resources. It killed me to know that I wouldn’t get to go back to Rock Canyon with my new group of five year olds. But I knew it was the only chance I had to save my credential and ever teach again.
The First Cut Is the Deepest
With Ella going back to Jordyn’s in a couple of weeks, and Ryann having the rest of the week off, I figured that it was the perfect time to take my girls on a weekend getaway. I knew how much they both loved New York so I'd hoped that it would be the perfect trip for them to bond. When we boarded the jet and my J-Ella Bean chose the seat next to Ryann instead of me, I knew the surprise trip was perfect for both my girls.
Even though Ryann had been to New York before, she had no problem letting Ella drag her around playing tour guide. The patience that Ryann had with my daughter was amazing. She reacted to everything Ella said like it was the most interesting thing she'd ever heard. I could see from the way Ryann was with her, and the way Jackson talked about her, that she must be amazing with her class. She would make such a wondeful mother.
While Ryann and Ella were in one of the many shops they decided to go in, I scrolled through Facebook and Instagram. I was surprised to see that there were new postings on Ryann’s Vaughn Haley page. What the hell? Postings from G. Pictures of Ryann and him in bed together. Holy fuck. They were even kissing in one of them. Can’t wait to do this again. Really? Ryann fucking lied to me. She did fuck G.
Feeling my blood starting to boil, I didn't know if I was angrier that Ryann had slept with G, or that she lied to me. She'd told me she didn’t sleep with G, but I didn’t know what to think with these pictures. And why the hell would he post them on social media? My head was fucking spinning. The worst part of it all was I had to wait to say something because I would not make a scene in front of Ella.
The rest of the evening was quiet. When we got back to the hotel, I tucked Ella in bed while Ryann went and started a bath. Once we were in the privacy of our room, I confronted Ryann. The anger in my eyes created such a hurt in hers. Hurt or not, pictures don’t lie…people do. My head was all kinds of fucked up.
The last thing I expected in the midst of all this was for her to tell me that she loved me. What the fuck? I knew I should have stayed but I needed to get the hell out of there. Without saying a word, I walked out on her. Leaving her there alone.
I went down to the bar and tried to sort through everything that had happened today. Did I really think she had sex with G? No…yes…I don’t know. First shot of whiskey down. I didn’t think she’d lie, but it’s not like she was completely truthful with me either. Second shot down. My girlfriends' face was out there as the “stripper squeeze” of the most notorious NFL womanizer. Third shot…fuck that one burned. She fucking loved me. Double shot. She said she loved me and I just walked out. I really was a fucking asshole
.
As I sat there and scrolled through the pictures over and over again, they suddenly all became unavailable. What the fuck? The Vaughn Haley Instagram just disappeared. Gone. Holy shit, Ryann must have deleted it. Was she telling me the truth or was she just trying to hide the evidence of what she did? But the fact that the pictures were with Richard Grovanski meant that they would always be out there. I had two choices here. One: believe Ryann and get over all of this or two: walk away.
I stumbled my way back up to our room and crawled in bed. Pulling her in tight, I told her I was sorry and that I loved her. She pretended to be asleep; she had the cutest little snore when she slept so I knew she was awake. I knew she heard everything I said. For now I’ll just let it go. I didn’t want Ryann to think the only reason I said this was because I was drunk.
The flight back to Vegas was awkward and quiet. We both knew what we said to one another. But she was hurting and I was drunk. I knew that’s not how either one of us planned on sharing those feelings for the first time.
When I dropped her off at home, Ryann could barely look at me. And worse, she said virtually nothing to Ella. I told her I would bring Roxy back in the morning. As soon as I got home, I wanted to take Roxy right over to her. But I wasn’t ready to talk to her yet.
On Monday morning, Cristina came back to drop off some things that Ella had left at her house. I told her about everything that happened in New York.
“Nathan, do you really love her or was it the whiskey talking? Ryann has been through so much in the last few years and the last thing she needs is you adding to that,” Cristina lectured me.
“I do…at least I think I do. But these pictures are hard to deny,” I admitted.
“Okay, I understand that. But to quote one of the best TV lines of all time—'You were on a break!'” Cristina shouted.
“Really?” I glared at her with my best evil eyes.
“So if you can’t take Ryann for her word, then there’s only one other way to find out. Ask the football guy. You say he’s at the club all the time. So straight up ask him.” Honestly, I didn’t know why I hadn't thought of that before.
