“I’m losing my best friend,” I say weakly.
Jack swears under his breath. “Look, I’ll get Donny to talk to him, okay? You know how he hero-worships Donny. Maybe he can convince him to at least stay friends with you.”
At least. That sounds so horrible. Like, all of a sudden, I had become the bane of Rhett’s existence. My body aches.
“Avery, talk. You’re freaking me out.”
“Jack?”
“Yeah?” he says gently.
“Have you … Have you seen her?”
Jack hesitates. He’s not in Phoenix, he goes to Mom and his dad’s alum in Las Vegas, but Donny’s at UofA, so he often makes his way down for visits, sometimes even flying down to Phoenix to hang out.
“Donny and I went down last weekend. She’s nice.”
Nice. Beautiful. A college girl. “Is he … happy?”
“He seems so. You know, she’s actually mine and Donny’s age, so he snagged an older woman. It’s impressive.”
And I am the teenage bimbo he left behind.
“Ave, are you going to be all right? Do I need to talk to Mom and Dad?”
“No,” I say weakly. “No, I’ll be fine. I’m just a bit shocked. He just stopped talking to me, and I miss him. So this is all …”
“Yeah, I get it.” He lets out a long sigh. “Well, Mini-Mom, I need to get to my next class. I’ll talk to Donny later for you.”
“Thanks.” My voice wavers. I don’t know why I’m hurting so much.
“Bye. I love you, kid.”
I smile. “Love you too, turd.”
“Don’t be racist. I’m the best looking one in the family.” His voice is light.
“Stop pulling the racist card. You’re personality makes you a turd, turd.”
“Low blow, baby sister. Cheer up. Bye.”
He hangs up, but I don’t move. Rhett has a girlfriend? An older, pretty, nice girlfriend who everyone says is great. Why can’t I be happy for him? We’re supposed to be best friends, but all I want to do is storm down there and claim him as my own. He’s my Rhett.
My Rhett.
My head snaps up. I’m insanely jealous. It’s always been him and me, and I’ve never had to share him. He’s my fall back, my foundation. And now this other girl wants him.
I pull up his number, desperate to hear what he says. But then I stop. What if he sounds happy? What if he’s with her? Tears form from my frustration. What’s wrong with me? I should be happy he’s happy.
Sam appears, kneeling in front of me. “What did Jack say?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“Not nothing.”
“Nothing important then.” I rub my nose, struggling to hold in my tears.
She purses her lips. She knows me better than that. After Rhett, she’s my best friend. Rhett. My head falls to my knees. “Why aren’t I happy for him?”
“Jack?”
“No.” I stare at her, confused. Why would she think of Jack right now? “Rhett.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Rhett?”
“Yes.”
She slides down beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. “Who do you miss more than anyone right now?”
“Rhett,” I answer softly.
“Not Todd?”
I tense. My answer should be Todd. But it’s not. I don’t miss him at all. Not even in the slightest. “I have to break up with Todd, don’t I?”
She gives one slow nod.
“He’ll be so crushed.” I fiddle with my phone, pulling up his number. “I’ll have to do it after school. I hate to do it over the phone, but I have no choice.”
“It’ll be all right. He’ll understand.”
He will, but he still won’t be happy about it.
In class, I can’t stop thinking about Rhett. He has a girlfriend. Has he even kissed a girl before, besides me when we were six? Will they have …? My stomach ties in knots at the thought of him in bed with her. Having sex with her. I claw at the underside of my desk. He can’t have sex with her! He doesn’t even know her. She’s some city girl out for a good time. She doesn’t care about him. Not like I do. Not like he deserves.
After class, I text him. He can’t ignore me forever. How’s college going?
That seems friendly, unpresuming, right? Nothing suspect in that.
During my next class, I steal glances into my bag to see if he’s replied. When nothing comes, I try not to be disappointed. He’s probably in class, or maybe working. What is he doing for work?
I text him and ask.
The hour bus ride home feels like a week. I keep glancing at my phone, but he doesn’t send anything. Todd does though.
Up for a Skype chat this afternoon?
Why yes, I’d love to crush your soul over the Internet. Well, at least it’s face to face. Sure, I reply.
Aside from a few tribe kids, we’re the last ones off the bus; me, Brad, Taylor, the twins, and the Blake kids. Brad seems to sense I’m in a mood and stays at my side, while the twins bounce ahead, and the younger kids chat loudly behind us. He doesn’t say a word, just takes my hand. I have the best brothers.
At home, I go straight to my room and open my laptop. Treat it like a Band-Aid, do it fast and get it over with. Hopefully it’ll hurt him less.
“Hey.” Todd waves at the screen from his dorm room. “You’re a sight for sore eyes. It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah, me too.” I rest my chin against my hand. This will be harder to do than just ripping off a Band-Aid.
“Is that the girlfriend?” some guy says from somewhere in the room. Then a head pops onto the screen. “Phew! You’re not kidding. She’s smoking hot, in a grungy, choir-kid kind of way.”
Todd shoves him away. “Get lost.”
I wrap my arms around myself, adjusting my glasses by scrunching my nose. I’ve never considered myself pretty. Hearing people talk about me like that feels strange.
Todd glares over the computer screen until the door clicks closed. Then he turns his focus to me. “Sorry about him.”
“Todd …” I stare at the keyboard. I need to just do it. “I can’t …”
“You’re breaking up with me.”
The words make me sick. I can’t even look at him.
“Avery.” His tone is pleading. “I’ll come back for the week during fall. If it doesn’t overlap with your break, maybe I can make arrangements for you to come out here. I know the distance is hard, but—”
“No.”
At first, I’m not sure if he hears me. He doesn’t say anything. I look up to see his brows furrowed. “Ave, please. We were great over the summer. It’s the distance, that’s all.”
“I can’t …” I grasp at my throat.
“Avery.” He leans closer to the camera. “I’m crazy about you.”
Tears come then. Because I’m not crazy about him.
“Avery.” He sighs, running his hand through his hair. “Why don’t we call it a break? You’re in your senior year and need to focus anyway. I’m struggling along with football and classes, so maybe a break would be good for both of us. When things settle, we can try again.”
I can’t say no, but I can’t say yes either. So I just sort of nod shrugshake my head.
“Okay,” he says, clearing his throat. “Okay. Well, if nothing else, I need something to distract me from this crappy day. Tell me how school is. Any interesting dramas?”
I smile, glad he isn’t mad, and catch him up on the gossip.
That night, I lay in bed, when my phone lights up. I grab it, and my pulse quickens when I see Rhett’s name. Opening it, I read; School’s fine. Working at a restaurant.
That’s all I get? Since I know he’s with his phone, I text right back. Call me?
He takes a few moments, then, No.
I chew my lip. Why not? We haven’t talked in forever.
It’s late and I’m tired.
I want to punch him through the phone. Then, another thought occurs to me; what if he’s with that girl? Oh
, I really want to reach through that phone. So, I call him. He can’t really ignore me since he knows I know he’s with his phone.
He answers. “I can’t talk right now.”
“Why not?”
“I’m going to bed.”
I want to scream, but I keep it cool. “Just a few minutes?”
“Why can’t you take no for an answer?” He’s never spoken to me like that before, and it throws me off-guard.
“I … I didn’t mean to …”
“Look,” he says firmly. “I’ll talk to you when I can. Good night.”
“You’re with her, aren’t you?”
His hesitance confirms it.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why aren’t you talking to me?”
“I will, I was planning to …” He’s floundering. I’ve caught him off-guard this time. “Look, I’ll call you tomorrow. Bye.”
He hangs up.
I roll over and scream into my pillow.
Chapter Four
Rhett
Mom will kill Donny if she ever finds out he smokes weed. But, he’s sitting here now, at this lookout, leaning against the hood of my super cheap 90s Toyota, smoking a joint. “Jack told me I need to talk to you.”
“That stuff stinks,” I say, mildly annoyed.
“We’re not all as smart as you, kid.” He raises a brow. “Jack’s worried about his sister. I don’t care, personally. She’s screwed around with you for years, so she can wallow for all I care.”
“Avery’s upset?” Everything inside me tightens. I know pushing her away might have hurt her, but for Don and Jack to be concerned … “No. She has a boyfriend. I have a girlfriend. I have to move on.”
“That’s what I said.” He takes a deep swig. “She dumped her boyfriend, by the way. No boyfriend. But, knowing her, there will be another one soon.”
“She’s only had three boyfriends. Don’t talk about her like she’s a slut.”
The venom in my voice makes him set his joint aside. “You’re still hung up on her.”
I groan, pushing off from my car. “Yes and no. I’m really into Anne. She gorgeous and fun and most importantly, she likes me back. Avery will never like me back.”
Don shrugs. “Then forget about her.”
“Easier said than done. I’ve always loved her. I’m trying, but every time she texts me, or contacts me, I’m back at square one.”
“Cut her off.”
I snort. “Again, easier said than done. We’re also best friends, and our families …”
“Yeah.”
I lean back against the car and we stare out at the valley lights below. I miss the lookout over our town. It’s so different to this sea of lights. “She really broke up with Todd?”
“Not important.” He finishes his joint and tosses the stub on the ground, squashing it with his foot. “I say, focus on Anne. She’s hot and into you. Text message, do whatever you need to do with Avery to keep her happy and off your case. But don’t call her.”
“She called me last week, when I had Anne over.” I stare at my feet. “I felt so guilty. Anne was in the bathroom, and I’m talking to Avery. Then Avery asks if I’m with her. I didn’t know what to do. So I freaked out and hang up.”
“Good.”
I glance up at Don. “Really? She hasn’t said anything to me since. I think I hurt her feelings.”
“So?” He scoffed, turning to face me directly. “How many times has she hurt yours?”
“She never meant to hurt mine.”
“Not the point.” He shakes me by the shoulders. “Forget her. I’m serious. It’s toxic for you.”
I think of Anne and how much fun we have together. I can see myself with her long term, but I can’t see myself marrying her. Maybe I need more time for that one. Maybe I need to get over Avery completely first.
*
Avery
Winter formal. I have no date. But that’s okay; Sam and I are going together. As I stare at myself in the blue dress I wore to prom, my mind runs through that night. Everything freezes on the moment I saw Rhett dragged outside. The most terrifying memory of my life was seeing him getting his head kicked in.
I close my eyes, trying to picture him before the fight. I saw him as I entered, with Sam, and I’d felt a twinge of jealousy. I’d wanted him to ask me so we could have one last hoorah together, but he never did. Three weeks before prom and I knew he wouldn’t. Then Todd asked me.
“Avery.”
I look up to Mom at the door. She smiles, her blond curls tied back in a messy bun. She steps up behind me and slips off my glasses. “Wear your contacts.”
“I hate my contacts.”
“Do we need to get a new prescription? A new brand maybe?”
“No.” I grab my glasses. “I like wearing my glasses.”
She nods, but lifts my chin. “You know, hiding behind them only means you’re hiding the real you in here. Everyone can still see your face.”
Her hand rests over my heart. I stare at her hand. “Mom, when did you know you loved Dad?”
Tenderness fills her eyes. They had a rocky and tense start to their relationship, but their love is strong and beautiful now. “Your father pursued me for many months, but carefully since I missed Forrest so much. His patience eventually paid off and I let myself have feelings for him. I can’t pinpoint one exact moment; it just happened. Slowly, gently.”
I slip my glasses back on, and stare at myself in the mirror. “Mom?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“I think …” I can’t say it. Rhett has cut me off and it’s my own fault. But with how much I miss him, I know exactly how I feel. I blink, trying to hold back my tears. He’s been with his girlfriend for several months now, and not once have we talk talked. I look into Mom’s eyes. “What if you had realized you loved him too late?”
She takes a deep breath, gazing steadily into my eyes. “I don’t know how to answer that.”
“I would have still married her.” Dad’s voice from the door catches my attention.
Mom gives him a slight shake of the head, but he ignores her. “I loved her so much and I just knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life and have a family with. If it had dragged out for another few years and we’d dated other people, I still would have come running the second she called for me.”
“Paul.” Mom touches his arm, shaking her head. She then looks to me. “Honey, Rhett’s moving on.”
I flinch. How did she know?
“Rhett?” Dad’s eyebrows fly up. “Doesn’t he have a girlfriend? Clint says he’s dating someone.”
I turn away, my heart aching.
“If he breaks your heart, I will—”
“Paul,” Mom says sternly. “I think you should leave this to me.”
I glance in the mirror and see Dad staring at me, his jaw clenched. Dad is a dream father—goofy, fun, and totally protective. Our eyes meet in the mirror, and I look away.
“Bray,” he says in a deep voice. “I won’t let her be treated the way that Harris boy did. I should have done more.”
The memory of finding out Milton had cheated on me by sleeping with three of my closest choir friends still stung. Not that I still had feelings for that ass wipe, but I thought I could trust those girls. Their betrayal hurt. Rhett got me through that, like he did everything else. Rhett.
I stare at the photo of us together at the town’s annual athletics day two summers ago. We had a cotton candy between us as I took the close-up shot. He’d made me forget Cameron that day, and I haven’t given Cam a second thought since.
I sigh, examining his hazel eyes and scruffy brown hair. There’s a hint of red in it, which I pointed out once and he grumbled about it being girly for a month.
Mom wraps her arm around my waist. Looking up, I see Dad has gone. Mom smiles gently. “You look very pretty tonight.”
I sigh again. “No I don’t. It took Megan an hour to do my hair. It’s so … blah.”
She smi
les. “I know exactly how you feel. But it’s pretty, I promise.”
My hair is just like Mom’s. She barely started dying it to hide the few greys coming through about a year or so ago. In her early forties, she looked fabulous for her age. Mind you, she always looked beautiful. I’ve seen pictures of her first wedding, and her wedding with Dad, and she always looks gorgeous. Not me, though. I’m goofy. I guess I got that from Dad.
“Everything will turn out,” she says, squeezing my waist. “Sometimes they don’t turn out how we expect or want, but they always do. If things had turned out the way I planned in high school, or college, then …”
She looks away. Most of the time Mom is fine with her Forrest’s death. She came to terms with it before I was born, but there are occasions when she misses him. Like right now. I never quite know what to do. I see her with Dad and usually forget she married someone else first.
“I love you, Mom.”
She smiles at me in the mirror. “I love you too, sweetie. Now, let’s get you out of here.”
Sam and I have a blast at the winter ball, but when it’s over and I drive myself home, I stop outside the Clarks’ house. The lights are all out. It must be strange with just the twins home. Mom and Dad won’t mind if I stay the night.
I slip inside and head to Rhett’s room. In the darkness, I see it’s just the same. Shutting the door, I flick on his bedside lamp to change. I use his gym shorts and an old T-shirt to sleep, and leave my dress and jewelry on his desk.
His bed still smells like him, so I wrap myself up, pretending he’s holding me like he used to.
*
“Avery!” Rhett’s mom gasps from the door. “What … When did you …?”
I sit up, rubbing my eyes. “Sorry. I kind of just crashed.”
She hurries over to the bed, sitting beside me. “Honey, you can’t keep coming here like this.”
I stare at her, confused. I’ve always come here like this.
“Avery.” She touches my hair. “Rhett is grown up now. He has a girlfriend and is moving on with his life.”
“But I miss him.” Tears form in my eyes.
Rhett’s dad appears at the door, scowling. “I’m calling Paul.”
“Why?” I’m so confused. I’ve slept in Rhett’s bed more times than I can count.
Loving Avery (Bearville County Book 2) Page 3
