by Lauren Wood
I left the kitchen because I didn’t have anything good to say about the conversation going on in there. I went upstairs to my parent’s room and found mom going through some old photo albums cross-legged on the floor.
She smiled up at me and I started going through the things hanging up in the closet. I was up there for a while before I had enough to go get a bag from the kitchen. Going down the stairs I heard loud voices and I recognized Bianca’s voice. She was yelling at someone, presumably Carl and I could hear everything she was saying.
“I don’t know why you’re acting this way. I used to think that we’d always be together.”
Carl said something muffled that I couldn’t hear and I wanted to go out on the porch where they were. I got as close as I could without being seen.
“No, you never said it Carl, but you made promises with your body.”
Carl had another answer that I wasn’t able to hear. I wanted to know what promises he had made, but I hated the way the idea of it came to me. I didn’t want to hear this. Nothing good was going to come from hearing it all, but like I was a glutton for punishment, I couldn’t walk away.
“Well whether you wanted it or not, we are bound together Carl. We will be for the rest of our lives.”
I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.
“No we’re not Bianca. This is over. Been over and you have to come to terms with it.”
“But, I’m pregnant and it’s yours. So you see Carl, you might as well just accept it and let’s get back together. I know that you care about me. I know how to please you.”
Her voice was getting lower and I was craning my neck to see what they were doing. It was not my finest hour by far. I will be the first to admit it, but at the same time, I didn’t know what to do to make it go any better.
My heart had dropped out of my ass when I heard her say that she was pregnant. I couldn’t breathe and it felt like I was suffocating because of it all. What was I supposed to do now? He was going to be a father with another woman’s baby. It was too much and I made my way back upstairs, totally forgetting about the bag that I was supposed to get.
Chapter 32
Carl
“What? What do you mean you’re pregnant Bianca? We always used protection.”
“Well I guess it didn’t always work. Nothing is guaranteed one hundred percent effective.”
My head was spinning and I was starting to get nauseous. I thought that this would be a conversation that went a whole other way. I knew she had something to tell me that was urgent, but I would have never come up with that. I wouldn’t have thought that it would end up like this. I never would have thought that she was going to tell me that she was pregnant. I could barely say it in my own head. It was hard to wrap my brain around it. Could she really be pregnant?
“So you’ve still got nothing to say Carl?”
“I don’t know what to say Bianca. This wasn’t something that I thought I was going to have to deal with. I mean, are you serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious. I wouldn’t lie about something like this. I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks but you’ve gotten good at ignoring me. You don’t stay at your house anymore. You already got you another girlfriend?”
I was still stunned on the first admission and I wasn’t able to move on to the other. It was only when she asked me again that I told her that it was none of her business.
“Well whoever she is, you’re going to have to end it with her. We’re getting back together Carl.”
I shook my head before I could form the words. That wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t going to let it happen. The last thing that I needed was to get back with Bianca. I was with Melanie now and even though we had to keep it hush for the moment didn’t mean that I wasn’t planning on coming out with it.
“Look Bianca, I got to go. We’re not getting back together, but if what you’re saying is true, I guess we do have some talking that we’re going to have to do.”
“That’s it?”
“I’ve got to go. What do you want me to say?”
Bianca didn’t have an answer, but I did. She wanted me to tell her that everything was going to be okay and that we were going to get back together, but that wasn’t something that I was going to say. I was with the woman I wanted to be with and no outside pressure was going to change that.
Going back in, Scott had overheard too much by the look on his face and I kind of shrugged when he asked me what it was that I was going to do about it all. I didn’t have an answer for that. All I knew was that I had to get out of here. I was relieved not to see Melanie around and we got out of there without another problem coming up.
Bianca was leaving as we were and she stared me down as I walked to the truck. Of all the things that could have happened between us, this was the worst thing that I could have imagined. It was so bad that I didn’t even know how it was all supposed to look in the future. For the first time in a long time, it didn’t feel like I had a future and that was not a feeling I liked to have.
“Well she seems pissed.”
“Yeah, she didn’t get what she wanted, so she is not too happy about it.”
“What does she want?”
“How much did you hear?”
“That she is pregnant and you haven’t been home in weeks.”
The second part had me more alarmed because he had that curious look on his face like he was putting two and two together. I didn’t want him to. It certainly wasn’t going to make anything any better and the more I thought about it, the more I wondered why he brought it up.
“Well the pregnancy thing isn’t too hard to believe, but the never home thing has me riddled. Do you just hide when she comes by or something?
That would have been a good way to have explained it. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Hmm. Just like with you and my sister. You said it was something like that, but you never told me what that actually meant.”
“Why are we back on Melanie, Scott? I just found out that crazy chick is pregnant with my kid. Can we talk about something else?”
I didn’t have to act like I was stressed out because I was and I didn’t have to pretend that I didn’t want to talk about Melanie because I didn’t. I really didn’t, not with him.
“Okay fine, I was just wondering is all.”
“Well you don’t have to wonder about it. You know what it was.”
I hoped that he would leave it at that.
“So if you aren’t at home, did you find you a new chick to keep you busy? You have been a lot more chipper nowadays.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know if I would call it a new chick.”
“Well it must be something for you to be acting the way you have lately.”
“I think I’ve found something special, but if Bianca is really pregnant, I don’t know how that is all going to go down. That could mess everything up.”
“Who is it?”
I looked over at Scott and his attention was too much on me. “I don’t think you know her.”
He pushed and I finally gave him a name. It was sort of right, but more her middle name than her first. Scott seemed satisfied and then wanted some dirty details. I couldn’t give them to him no matter how normal that was for us in the past. Instead I tried to change the subject to anything else. He took it as I was in love. Let him think that. I didn’t know if he was actually wrong or not.
Chapter 33
Melanie
“Mom, is the invitation still open to go with you to Mexico? I think I’ve changed my mind about going with you.”
She agreed that it was and told me that she wanted me to go with her. It was going to be nice, just me and her. I didn’t tell her why I had the sudden change of heart and it didn’t look like she cared. All she cared about was not having to go alone and I didn’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to have gone alone either. But I had to get out of Jefferson for a while. It was a bit too much for me.
Scott and Carl had taken off right after Bian
ca left and I watched them go but said nothing. I don’t know what I was going to do, but I knew that I needed some time to think and it looked like Carl had some of his own decisions to make. I wasn’t going to be the one to mess up a little family. The very word stuck in my throat, but at the end of the day, it was, what it was and I was just going to have to be okay with it. There was no amount of upset that was going to make me feel any better.
Pushing all of that to the side, I started to pack, as well as mom. She’d wanted to get some of the closet cleaned out before she left, but we both decided we’d done enough. Packing was far more important in both of our eyes.
Scott didn’t come back till after I was asleep and the next morning we had to leave for the airport. Instead of waking him up for a ride, we took a cab and I was excited to get away. My mind was still on the troubles at home, but I knew that worrying about it wasn’t going to help, so I was bound and determined to make the best of it.
“You’re really quiet this morning.”
“Just tired. I was too excited to sleep, so I should sleep well on the flight.”
“It’s not too long of one either.”
“I know. It’ll be a good nap.”
“Is something going on that I don’t know about? I feel like no one tells me anything anymore since the funeral. I’m not going to crack under the pressure Melanie.”
“It’s nothing mom.”
She tsked me and I knew that I had upset her. She wanted to know what was going on and since our relationship had always been good, I could see why she felt that way. I was spending a lot of time with Carl, which made me spend less time with her. It wasn’t because I was avoiding her though; I’d just fallen in love and wanted to spend every minute with him.
“You said that, but your face and your eyes say something else Melanie. You are my daughter and I know when something is wrong with you.”
“It’s Carl.”
“I thought you two were doing well?”
“We are, or well, we were until Bianca had to go and ruin it all.”
“He got back with Bianca? I didn’t think he would do that.”
“No, he hasn’t gotten back with her yet. But I guess it will only be a matter of time since she’s pregnant with his kid.”
“No!”
I shook my head and I met the eyes of the cab driver through the rearview mirror.
“Yes, she came by yesterday and I heard her tell him that.”
“Just because she said it doesn’t mean it’s true.”
While I wanted to believe that and to believe that there was some way that it was all just a hoax, I knew that I was going to have to accept it. I could deny it all I wanted, but another woman was going to have his baby. It felt like I was too late.
“I think it is. Why would she say that if it wasn’t?”
“It’s a classic move for a woman to say she is pregnant and really she is just trying to keep the man. She could just be saying that to try and get him back.”
“What happens when they aren’t pregnant?”
“Well, I guess that she expects him to be too in love with her and will forgive her. Most likely she hasn’t thought it through. Even if it is true, that doesn’t mean that he wants to be with her.”
Everything she said I wanted to be true, but could I be with Carl and always has Bianca around to deal with? I wanted him all to myself. I envisioned me and him having kids together, not raising another woman’s kid. It just didn’t mesh with how I had played it all out in my head.
“I don’t know if you’re right or not. I wish you were, but I have a feeling that this is going to be it for us. He doesn’t want to tell Scott anyways, so it doesn’t matter. We can never be together in secret. Maybe I was wrong about him.”
“You’re not. You have to have more faith Melanie. Just let things work themselves out but promise me that you’ll forget about it for a while. Let’s enjoy ourselves. It’s all going to work out. Just wait and see.”
“When did you become so positive?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t want to be sad anymore and negative. I’m going to hope for the best from now on.”
I wanted to take a page from her book. I wasn’t that sure if it would help or if anything would change, but I did want to feel better. I was sick of being sad about it all. She was right. I should enjoy myself and when I got back home, I would see where all of the chips fell. If she could be chipper, I should be able to be as well.
Chapter 34
Carl
With Melanie gone for a couple of weeks and not answering my phone, I had to imagine that she’d heard about Bianca like her brother had. I wasn’t prepared for that and I certainly wasn’t prepared to talk to Melanie about it. I’d talk to Bianca a couple of times about when we could go in and get her checked out. If it was my baby, I wanted to make sure that everything was okay.
Twice I’d tried to take her to a doctor that had an opening, but twice she had shot me down with something else to do. She wouldn’t tell me that she had something else to do until I got there. Bianca had tried several times to seduce me since then at her apartment, but I didn’t even want her anymore. I was still worried about Melanie and if she was going to forgive me.
I was restless after calling Melanie and leaving another message. She’d be home tomorrow and I was awaiting her. I hadn’t touched her in almost two weeks and it felt like a lifetime to me. It felt like the very breath had been taken out of my lungs with her gone and I was ready for her to come back now.
Instead of worrying about the next day and what I was going to say to Melanie about all of this, I decided that I needed a drink. I went down to the bar and moved into the loud interior. I knew a few people and waved to a friend from work. I started to go towards him when I saw someone else that caught my eye. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, so I moved closer to the blonde that had her back to me. I would have known who that was anywhere. What was Bianca doing here?
As I got closer, I could see that it wasn’t a soda in her hand. She was taking a shot of some kind of clear liquid. Knowing her, it was most likely tequila or something. What was she doing drinking? If she was pregnant, that was the last thing that she was supposed to be doing. She was pregnant with my baby.
“What are you doing Bianca?”
She looked behind her and her eyes met mine. This wasn’t her first shot. She was close to drunk and I don’t know what was going on with her.
“What are you doing here Carl?”
“I came for a drink.”
“Well, me too.”
“But you’re pregnant with my kid, remember? You’re not supposed to be drinking. It will hurt the baby.”
“Baby, what baby?”
One of her friends had chimed in and she shot a look towards her that told her to shut up. I stopped and it finally made sense.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?”
Bianca was quiet for a minute and then asked if I wanted to go outside. Even in her state, she told me that she didn’t want me to embarrass her. I wanted an answer and I told her that I wasn’t leaving until I got it.
“No, I’m not. Okay? Is that what you want to hear?”
I sighed big and nodded my head that it was exactly what I wanted to hear. I didn’t want her and now that I knew that she wasn’t pregnant, I knew that I wasn’t going to have to worry about her anymore. She was finally out of my life for good and I had the best news ever to give Melanie. It was all just a lie.
“Don’t call me anymore Bianca. I don’t ever want to hear from you again.”
I left without even getting a drink. I was in that good of a mood. Everything had changed now and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. It was a new day as far as I was concerned. A new day. Now we just had to figure out what to do about Scott.
***
When Melanie got back, I didn’t even bother to call her. She’d made it clear that it wasn’t going to be that easy and instead I waited for her to
get back and settled in at Lily’s. She was only there for another week, so I wanted to make the most of our little love nest that no one knew about.
I went over to Lily’s house later that night and I was ready to see her. I was half thinking with my dick because it had been so long. When she answered the door, everything was right with the world.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Can I come in?”
I could tell that Melanie wasn’t sure if she wanted me to or not, but I wasn’t taking no for an answer. I don’t know if it was my resolve that cinched it, but she let me in.
“I was meaning to call you when I got back.”
“I figured it would be quicker if I came over here.”
“Well here you are. What’s up?”
“I have good news.”
“I already know and while I am happy for you, I wouldn’t really consider that good news.”
I shook my head and told her that she didn’t understand.
“She’s not pregnant. It was a lie. I caught her at the bar taking shots. Her friend ratted her out and she confessed. Bianca is out of the picture for good now, just like I said she would be. I don’t want her Melanie, I want you.”
“She was lying?”
I nodded and moved towards her. “So there is nothing left in our way.”
“What about Scott?”
“In time.”
“So not much has changed.”
“A lot has changed and I haven’t missed anyone this much in my whole damn life. Are you done ignoring me, because I need you?”
“You need me?”
Her voice was smaller and I could see her chest rising and falling faster than ever.
“Yes Melanie. I need you so damn bad.”
Her submission was in her eyes and I moved to finally kiss her, something that I’d needed to do for a long time. Her lips were soft and compliant. Melanie was what I needed and for now, that was all there was to think about.
Chapter 35
Carl
“It’s my sister’s house that you’re going to every night, isn’t it? That’s why Bianca said that you hadn’t been home. You’ve been with Melanie, haven’t you?”
