by Lauren Wood
When I pulled up, there were no out of state or even out of county cars in the parking lot. I was a little early from when he said he would be back and I wished that Denise had at least gotten a name. It was most likely someone I never would have thought of or someone that I didn’t even know. It was more of a chance that it was government personnel more than anything else.
Denise was waiting for me by the door and I smiled at a few early morning customers before I moved behind the counter. “So you look good this morning. You were sounding like you just woke up when I called.”
“No, I was up a while. I had to feed the animals. They don’t let me have a day off, so I was onto my second cup of coffee when you called.”
“Sorry about that, but I figured that you would want to know someone was looking for you.”
“I do want to know, but I wish I knew who. You sure you didn’t catch a name?”
“No, I didn’t. He acted like he was in a rush and when I turned back around after I rung up a customer, to tell him what time you came in, he was already gone. Really weird.”
It sounded weird and I still was stumped on who it could be. I couldn’t think of anyone from out of town that would be looking for me.
“Well what did he look like?”
“I don’t know, really handsome in a rugged sort of way. He was a little more cleaned up then the guys around here, but I could tell that he was just like the rest. He was at least six foot something, dark hair, dark green eyes and no beard. That’s how I knew that he wasn’t from around here. No one comes to Nome fresh faced and if they do, it doesn’t stay that way for very long.”
“Green eyes?” That was about the only thing she told me that helped out. Green eyes weren’t very common and I knew that it would narrow it down. My insurance guy had green eyes, but I wouldn’t call him that handsome. He was alright, but not too easy on the eyes that my heart would skip a beat, so I decided it wasn’t him.
Denise didn’t have any more to tell me and I was forced to just wait and see who showed up. It was nerve racking to think about and I tried to keep myself busy with some of the cleaning that the last shift didn’t do. I was going to have to say something to the waitresses when they came into night, but it was all just incidental when it came down to it. I was there to see who was looking for me. It seemed to be going on a lot lately and I thought of Merle and who had come for her. Since most of my family resided elsewhere, I started to worry that it was going to be the bearer of bad news. I didn’t need any of that.
“Molly?
Chapter 2
Molly
I knew that voice. It had been a long time since I had heard it and I got nervous that I was actually right about who it was. Talk about a ghost. What in the world was Chris doing here? I thought had had moved away, went to the lower 48 from what I had last heard. We had a deep past and I wasn’t sure why he was here or why he was looking for me. He had family here and I had never heard of him stepping foot back in Nome. I froze and it was hard for me to turn around to look at him. I was that nervous.
“Molly, is that you?”
When I still didn’t answer him, he chuckled and asked me if I realized that he could see me or not. I knew that he could, I was in the open, but that didn’t mean that I was happy about it. What the heck was I going to say to him? It was impossible to think about and I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to come up with anything.
I turned around because I was caught and there was nowhere to go. At one time, I had very different feelings about Chris, had wanted to be around him all of the time, but things change and that had certainly been one of them. Some people couldn’t deal with what life threw at them and me and him were a perfect example of that.
“Chris, what in the world are you doing up here?”
“I lived here for a long time.”
“Yes and you have been away, what eight years?”
“About that.”
“Well I haven’t seen you in a long time, just surprised. Are you here visiting your aunt?”
He shook his head that he wasn’t. “No, I will go see them eventually, but for now I am looking for you.”
“I heard and here you are. What can I do for you?”
“Go out with me and let’s talk.”
The request was a little hard to understand because I didn’t know what there was to talk about. A lot had happened between us, but at the end there, none of it was something that we would have wanted to relive. I sure didn’t and I was almost positive that he didn’t either. So what else was there to talk about?
“You want to go out? Are you in town for a few days?”
“Or longer. That is what I need to talk to you about.”
What he said didn’t make sense and me being a determining factor in him staying or the length of his stay was strange to me as well. I hadn’t seen him in eight years, so why would I have anything to do with it?
“Okay, well let me know when and I will go grab some coffee with you.”
“Right now?”
I sighed to myself and shook my shoulders. I forgot how right now he was and how much it had irked me in the past. “Okay.”
It wasn’t at all who I had thought it would be. Of all the green-eyed handsome men in my life, running into Chris was not one of them that I ever expected to see again. I had feelings from way back for him and I didn’t know how to act around him. How was I supposed to act to the one and only man that had broken my heart? It wasn’t something that I had been faced with for a long time, but I was sure that I was still single because of the man in front of me. I was too worried about every other guy being just like him and I wasn’t going to be able to do it again.
He smiled at me and for a minute I felt my breath quickening and I tried to ignore the reaction. It was a reaction from being intimate with the man many times and knowing that he knew my body better than I knew it myself. He always had and I had found unspeakable pleasure in his arms. It was just that simple. It wasn’t my heart that reacted. It knew better. I had learned a long time ago to not listen to my heart at all. I knew that it was an idiot.
“Um, okay, I guess we can go grab a coffee and sit down at a table and have a chat. I have the best coffee in town.”
“I remember.”
I didn’t want the reminder of our past, even as it flooded through my body. I didn’t want to think about what all was between us, it was too hard.
“So do you still take it black?”
He grinned that I remembered and nodded his head that he did. I went behind the counter to make us a couple of cups of coffee. I needed to finish my second cup anyways, but I never would have thought an old lover would come back to haunt me. I wish I knew what it was that he wanted. It would have been easier to prepare. Denise tried to get my attention, but I ignored her. I didn’t want to get into it with her then. She wanted to know who Chris was and it was hard for me to say.
What was really strange was the urge I’d had to give him a hug and even a kiss. He was most likely married and there was no telling why he was even here, but it felt strange that he was here and we hadn’t touched in anyway. I mean, really strange. I don’t think we had ever been in the same room and not touched in some way or another.
Turning around I saw that he had gotten the table that gave the most privacy and for some reason I was even more nervous than I was before. Why did I feel like I was getting set up? Maybe he was the bearer of bad news and I didn’t know it yet.
As I walked over to the table, I realized that I was going to find out real soon, so there was no reason to get my anxiety all up. It was to all be revealed soon enough.
Chapter 3
Chris
Damn she looked good. I don’t know what I was thinking when I came up here, what I was going to find, but damn she looked really good. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her as she walked towards the table with both cups in her hands. I tried to look away, but it was impossible to.
Not much had changed
for her and that was what was the hardest to imagine. I would have thought after all these years; there would be a sign of aging as there was for me, but nothing. It felt like nothing was different and the feeling that I got being around her certainly wasn’t different either. I wanted her as much now as I ever did before.
Her blonde hair was brushed down her back and it was soft and curled a little at the ends. I could remember sticking my fingers in that glorious hair of hers and I wanted to take the same liberties again. It was hard to handle not being able to touch her, but I knew that it wasn’t right. I was going to have to keep my hands to myself, no matter how badly I might not want to.
The body was very much the same as I remembered before. She was short and curvy. Molly had never been model thin, but I had never liked that look anyways. She was soft and I could see the differences that were made right after I seen her last. Her chest seemed bigger, but it really had been so long. The pictures I had of her had never done her justice and it looked like they still didn’t. Molly’s curves were just as enticing as I remembered and I was finding it hard to keep my eyes off of her.
The smile was devastating and her blue eyes twinkles as she sat down across from me, sliding the cup towards me.
“Here Chris. I haven’t seen you in forever. You look good.”
She had gotten herself together and she didn’t look as nervous as she was before. I knew that there was something going on in her mind, but I wasn’t sure what it was. She most likely wanted to know why I was here and I didn’t know how to come out with it. It was a lot of things and one part in particular was going to make her respond and react. I just didn’t know how it was all going to go. I knew how I wanted it to go, but nothing ever did work out how I liked when it came to Molly. Case in point was the very fact that it had been so long since we had seen each other. In no scenario in my head would have ended with both of us being apart. I never wanted to be apart from her and I didn’t want to continue the trend. Too many nights, I’d stayed up, thinking about Molly and how things could have been different somehow.
“So what’s up with you nowadays, Chris? Did you go to the big city and start that business that your father wanted?”
She was going straight for the jugular from the gate and I couldn’t blame her because I knew that it was because of that very reason that I had left. We’d gotten into it about the pressures on us and I ran away to live a new life without her. It was true, her accusations that she’d made, but it wasn’t like I liked to hear about them. I wanted to move past it and I needed her in a better mood than this.
“Yes I did. You know that is why I went and I was the good little son for almost five years, well six really.”
“Was it all that you thought it was going to be? You had the city envisioned like it was magical. Was it?”
There was a bit of pain in her eyes and it occurred to me then that maybe I wasn’t the only one that had felt the loss when we had broken up and maybe I wasn’t the only one that felt it now. I filled my time with women and a lot of booze to numb it all, but I had never been able to forget about her. Now I was back, but for reasons that I wish were different. I wish I’d come back sooner and not had to come back for reasons like this. It made me realize how much time has passed since I saw her last. At the moment it feels like no time has passed at all. “It was work. I liked it alright, but there was something missing in the city. I never did get used to it. I still live there, but it gets harder every year. But it’s so different here now as well. I’m stuck in two places that don’t seem to suit me.”
“Alaska used to suit you just fine. So did you find what you were looking for?”
I’d left, saying that I was looking for something and I was no closer to finding it now as I was then. I had an idea that it was the wrong want anyways.
“Never did.”
“Still searching huh?”
“I’ve stopped searching. I know what it is now.”
She smiled and told me that she was happy that I had. I wanted to tell her what it was, but I knew better. I had to ease into this slowly. Molly didn’t like to be told what to do and I knew that me coming in after all of these years, changing her world was going to be met with some resistance. I had to be delicate in how I played it.
Chapter 4
Molly
“That’s good that it’s gone so well. Wife, kids, the whole she-bang?”
It was something that we had talked about before and since I had shied away from it, I had to wonder if he did as well. I wished well for him of course, I had cared deeply for him at one time, but at the same time I knew that it was going to be bothersome if he had done it all and I had failed at that part of my life. The man was handsome and made of money; I couldn’t see him not doing all of those things.
“No, I never went that route. I almost did at one time…”
He stopped and gave me a look that was hard to ignore. I had been the one that he had almost married, but things had gone awry and it never happened. His parents liked us together, but everyone had agreed that waiting was what needed to happen. It was in that wait that Chris decided that he had to do more in his life. He left Alaska and left me with my head spinning and my heart breaking. For a long time, I blamed them, but then I had to think that if it was meant to be, nothing would have stood in our way.
“I remember.” I hated how soft my voice was and I knew that it was because I was going back to the time and it still hurt to think about.
“You? Did you find a husband to have that family with? I seem to recall that you were very good at that part.”
My cheeks got red and I just shook my head. I didn’t want to tell him out loud that I had failed in that respect. I hadn’t been able to ever give anyone another chance because he had never been too far from my mind. Even now, I was sure that I thought about him in passing almost every day. We had so many memories together that it was impossible not to see something that jump-started a memory that I hadn’t thought of before.
“That is hard to imagine.”
“Well, it just never happened I guess. As I got older, I decided that it was never going to happen and I stopped worrying about it. Life is good, but sometimes it doesn’t work out the way you think it is going to.”
“Yes, I can definitely say that I agree with you there, but you’re not that old. We are the same age and you look the same as when I left.”
I wasn’t even going to comment on that last part. I wanted to know why he was here, the real reason because I knew it wasn’t just to chat over a cup of cheap coffee.
“So why are you really here Chris? I know that it isn’t for a trip back down memory lane. I have to start cooking soon, so if you could get out with it, I would be a lot happier.”
“I don’t know how to say this.”
“Straight out is the best way.”
He didn’t look so sure of that and it made me wonder what it was. Chris had always been a straight forward kind of guy and I wondered what it was that made him change that. It couldn’t be good and that doomed feeling was back in my stomach again.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m already sitting down, out with it.”
“Well damn Molly, it’s been a while and I forgot how direct you are. That’s a rare quality nowadays.”
He was flattering me and I don’t know why. He wanted something. He was up here because he wanted something and even though I was reacting to him in a way that was normal for us, I couldn’t forget how he could be when he wanted me to go along with something.
“Okay Chris, what are you here for?”
“My parents died a couple of months ago and I just went to a will reading not too long ago. You were in it and I’m here to see what you want to do about your inheritance.”
I felt immediately bad because I thought he was here for his own reasons. I put a hand over his with the knowledge that his parents had just passed. “I’m so sorry Chris. I didn’t hear anything about Ruth and Paul.”
&nb
sp; I wanted to ask what happened. They were in great shape the last time I’d seen them and they weren’t that old.
“It’s okay. It was fast, but they didn’t suffer and the accident came out of nowhere. They went together, like they always talked about.”
The couple was one that I wanted to model my marriage off of. They were so in love and it showed in everything that they did. I’d always love the way they were together and I was instantly saddened to hear of their passing.
“Wow, yeah.”
I was stumped at what to say and my mind went to the face of the smiling couple in my memory. Even without thinking I envision them together because they were always at each other’s side.
“I thought you would have known, the way this place is.”
“I’ve tried to stay away from the gossip mills. They come in here, but I ignore it. Nome is too much in everyone’s business and I’m trying to stay out of it. I wish I would have heard. I would have sent flowers or something.”
My guard was down. I wasn’t expecting Chris, but I wasn’t expecting to hear about such a tragedy. I really liked his parents and I talked to them ever so often after Chris and I broke up.
“It’s probably for the best you stay away from it. I remember you used to get so riled up sometimes over it. I always said you would do better to ignore it all together.”
“You were right and I finally figured it out. It took long enough.”
He agreed and we sat in silence for a moment. Chris mentioned the will again, but I was still stuck on the gone part to have even remembered.
“The lawyer is coming here in a week to sign everything.”
“This feels weird Chris. I didn’t even know they were gone. I don’t want anything from them.”
“They left you all of the land they own on the other side of Gipson’s farm.”
That was shocking. That was a lot of land. “Who owns the other side of it now?”
