by Jordan Shay
Could he tell I was a virgin?
“Your tongue feels amazing. Don’t stop.” My voice still didn’t sound like myself as my eyes rolled back in my head. I felt his tongue glide over my clit and then he started to suck. I felt little electric jolts surge through my body.
He sat up to take his shirt off, and I saw his cock erect and sticking out of the zipper in his pants. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. It was huge, and rock hard. He saw me looking at it. “It’s all yours...if you want it.” He said. I smiled. A sexy, flirty smile. I didn’t even know I had that kind of smile. But, it came natural. I moved toward Derek and he moved forward to me. I grabbed hold of his masculinity with one hand and slowly put my lips over the head. I’d never done this before, but I was going to just dive in. I bobbed back and forth, slowly going up and down, keeping my hand at the base. It seemed like the right thing to do and I let Derek’s moans let me know what felt good to him. Derek seemed to enjoy it as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He then grabbed my hand after a couple minutes and guided my hand to move up and down with my mouth. I silently obeyed. He moaned and I felt his dick throb in my mouth.
My pussy was still wet from his tongue and the excitement was causing me to feel wetter and wetter. I kept my right hand on him, and moved my left hand to feel my pussy. I may be 26 and a virgin, but I do know how to pleasure myself.
“Yeah, there you go,” Derek smiled. “That gets me even harder when you touch yourself. Turns me on. You are just full of surprises, sweet Anna.” His voice was so smooth and sexy.
“Anna!”
I stopped in my tracks. Was someone calling me?
“ANNA!” There it was again. Sounded like my brother, Jeb. Definitely my brother, Jeb. Fuck.
Derek scrambled to put his dick back in his pants and I jumped off yanking my dress down. My panties. Fuck. Where’s my panties? I started searching through the straw.
“What are you doing?” Derek asked as he zipped his pants, and put his shirt on.
“Looking for my fucking panties. Fuck!” Derek laughed. “What’s so funny? Do you know how much trouble I will be in? How much trouble we will be in?” He was still smirking. “What?” I tried to give him my best, ‘stop fucking around this is serious’ face, but looking at him made me smile. He was just too Goddamned sexy.
“I never heard a beautiful Amish girl swear so much.” His white teeth flashed as he grinned. Then, as smooth as our homemade molasses, he turned and darted out the back door of the shed. As if he does this everyday.
The door started to creak and I was suddenly face to face with Jeb. Timing is everything, they say. “What do you want?” I asked, perhaps more angrily that I should have. I stepped back. “Are you looking for something?” I tried to backtrack as to not raise any red flags. The fallout would be terrible if the family knew. Keep calm, Anna. Keep calm.
“I was looking for you. Heather said you went to look at the goats? Why would you leave her with all the children to check the goats?” He looked confused. I swear I saw his eyes glance over towards the back door of the shed. My heart was pounding so hard I thought I was going to faint right then and there. Did he know? Damnit.
I needed something. An excuse. My mind was blank. Fuck. My eyes danced around the dimly lit shed. Then I spotted it.
“Just grabbing this soccer ball to play with the kids.” I grabbed the ball and pushed my way passed Jeb and out the door, my wet pantyless pussy dripping down the side of my leg as I ran towards the house.
Chapter Two
After my bath that evening, I laid in bed remembering Derek’s face, his body, his touch. This man had a complete hold on me, and I didn’t even know that much about him. I was in my nightgown and in bed, when Mama and Papa both came into my room.
They almost never came into my room together. A terrible feeling of terror starting burning inside of me.
“Ahhh dear Anna,” Papa started. Immediately I thought they knew. A lump appeared in my throat, I thought I might choke if tried to speak. Had they heard? Had they seen something? Did they find my panties in the shed?
Papa sat on the side of my bed and removed his hat, and Mama stood next to him. I wasn’t sure why, but I had a sense that she was sad, or perhaps Papa had forced her to be here. I was almost certain this visit was not her doing, but must be Papa’s.
“Your mother and I have been talking. You are 26 years old, Anna. It is high time you find a suitable husband and start a family. Most girls are married with children by the time they are 26. It is time, my liebling, for you to do just that.” He paused.
What the fuck is he talking about? They had made comments before about my lack of a ‘suitor’ in the Amish community, but that’s where it ended. I sat up straighter in bed and leaned forward.
“Yes, Papa. I know. When I meet someone…” At that instant he cut me off and raised his hand.
“Anna. It is time. Tomorrow, a young man named Caleb will be here to begin your courtship. He was recommended to us from a few of the elders at the church.”
I sat there, speechless. An arranged suitor? This happens often in our community, but I never thought it would happen to me. I never thought my parents would do that to me. I thought I was going to throw up right then and there. On my bed. On him.
“But Papa,”
“Do not argue. Caleb is a good man. Your Ma and I both met him and we feel is a good match for you. The courtship will last an appropriate time of a couple months and then you will marry.” He must have noticed the sickened look on my face. “Anna dear, he is a good man. You will like him. He is a hard worker and will make a great husband.” He patted my leg calmly as if he weren’t just telling me I was expected to marry someone I had never met.
“Don’t you want to marry, Anna?” My mother looked at me with pleading eyes. She was silently begging me not to argue. I could see it. I could feel her desperation.
“But, Mama, I want to choose my husband. What if I don’t like Caleb? What if I don’t love him?”
“Oh, but my dear Anna. What if you do? What if you do?” My papa rested his hand on my shoulder. “We will discuss this more tomorrow if you want. But you will meet Caleb, and you will be respectful and polite about it. I expect you to represent our family appropriately to him.” Then, they walked out of my room, giving me no further opportunity to argue.
As soon as I heard the click of the door closing, I could hold it in no longer. I ran to my window and threw it open, gasping for air.
This cannot be happening. I can’t let this happen. I hate being fucking Amish.
At first I couldn’t cry. I wanted to, but I was so busy trying to breathe, I couldn’t manage any emotions. The cool evening air seemed to calm me slightly for a moment, and then I began to slide down the wall to the floor. My legs couldn’t hold me up.
Suddenly, my face fell into my hands, my lips trembled, and the tears started flowing. Slowly at first, then the sobs took over. I cried, out loud for several minutes before I heard a sound. Shit. Someone’s knocking.
“What?” I shouted.
“What’s wrong, Anna?” It was Abe. I took a deep breath. No sense upsetting the kid.
“Nothing, Abe. I’m fine.” I paused. “Good night.” I prayed he would buy it. It seemed he did.
“Good night, Anna!” I heard his footsteps walking away and then I climbed into my bed letting my pillows smother my tears for the rest of the long, torturous night.
The nightmare that followed was a horrible one. A man, a horribly ugly man, showed up at my house, claiming to be Caleb. He was dull and boring, and not attractive.
He was certainly not Derek.
A simple Amish man, he wanted a typical Amish lifestyle. I would be the obedient housewife, and he the provider. The boss. The ruler. I was never to wear pink, he told me. That is the color of whores.
I woke up sweating, my eyes swollen from crying.
I wish Derek was here now. Lying next to me. Comforting me. Making love to me. I so badl
y wanted to know what making love felt like. Derek would be looking at me with those sparkly eyes and smiling. I would feel better then.
What in the fucking hell am I going to do?
I drifted back to sleep. Restless. Tossing and turning.
Finally, it was morning. The sun came through my window, passing the one white curtain my mama had handmade and tied to the side, as in typical Amish fashion. It felt nice, like maybe there was promise for the day. If only...
I tossed my yellow and white quilt off of me, and rose out of bed. Slowly made my way to the window to look outside. Normal fall day. Sun is out, and there’s frost on the ground. I could see the spring flowers that mama and I had planted had frozen and wilted. Much like my heart.
At breakfast, father was quick to tell my siblings that I would marry soon. He told them of Caleb, and how they would have a new brother-in-law. My siblings listened, but didn’t offer much for conversation. They have heard this conversation before. With my sisters, Dorothy and Emma. Jeb just kept eating his eggs, and Abe bounced in his seat, smiling. All news was good news to Abe. No one has his enthusiasm for life. No one. I was slightly envious.
My sister, Dorothy, was matched with a man named Stewart. Everyone called him Stew. Seemed like a nice man; hard worker. Tall, slender, but broad shoulders. Blue eyes, crystal-like. Thick hair, and a booming loud laugh that you could hear a mile away. I liked him as my brother-in-law. Well, that was until I saw him at Mary-Jane’s place just down the road.
I used to hang out with Jocie, Mary-Jane’s sister. One day I went down to Jocie’s to see if she wanted to go to the bulk food store with me. I burst through the front door, just like I had done a million other times. Called for Jocie, but she didn’t answer.
I heard a rumble in the pantry. Almost like a whimpering. Thought Jocie might be in the pantry since it was her job to keep it nice and tidy. And maybe she was making a list for the store. I opened the pantry door, only to find Mary-Jane bent over, bottom of her dress laying across her back, hands on the third shelf, and Stew fucking her from behind. I saw it. Saw it all. Stew thrusting his dick into Mary-Jane. One hand on her hips, the other pulling her hair. Fucking her. Fucking her hard. This didn’t look like the first time it had happened. Mary-Jane was in rhythm with Stew’s hard fucks. Backing her ass up to his dick. Back and forth, whimpering, moaning.
Stew must have felt the breeze slide across his ass from the pantry door being open. He turned and saw me. Stew screamed at me, “Get out of here, Anna! You saw nothing! You hear me, bitch, you saw NOTHING!”
I ran home. Fast. I wanted to run over to Dorothy’s house, just a half mile north of our farm. What would I say when I got there? Dorothy would be devastated. She and Stew already had three kids, and only married 4 years. What would it matter if I did tell her? Ain’t no Amish woman going to leave her husband over adultery. She’d rather go to church, into the community, come to Sunday gatherings, and act as if everything was fine. Just fine. She didn’t have a choice. That’s just the rotten hard truth.
Stew actually died two years later. Buggy accident. He got hit by a truck, late one February night. Nobody knew why Stew was out so late. But nobody asked either. Probably out fucking Mary-Jane is what I figured. Must have been God’s way of punishing Stew and freeing Dorothy. Dorothy and her 5 kids live in a small house on our farm now. White, 3 bedrooms, simple. Papa and some men from the church built it for her.
My sister, Emma, lucked out pretty good with her husband. She married Jeremy. Sweet, dark-haired, brown-eyed, gorgeous man. Godly, loving, honest, and thinks that Emma walks on water. She is an angel to him, in his eyes. Emma and Jeremy have two kids. Adorable little lads. Sit nicely at church, play well with the other kids.
The day lagged on as I dreaded the visit from Caleb later. I couldn’t help but think of what he might be like, but I was still angry that this was happening. It felt unfair. Life felt unfair.
Seven o’clock rolled around and it happened. We just got done cleaning up after supper and there was a knock at the front door. My heart sank, as I remembered that Papa said Caleb would be here after supper. I sat on the couch, next to my brothers. Papa was at the door talking to a man. Maybe it was Caleb, maybe it wasn’t. Probably Caleb. My hands nervously twisted in my lap. By candlelight, it was difficult to see more than a few feet ahead. No way I could see who the stranger was at the door.
Papa turned around and headed toward us, with the stranger following. As Papa got closer, I could see the stranger. Just a bit taller than Papa, husky build, strong. As Papa and the stranger appeared in the light, Papa said, “Family. Meet Caleb. He’s from the next town over, and just moved in with his Uncle Dave. Dave Yoder. Lives just beyond the ridge.”
My heart sank. Caleb was here and it all seemed so much more real. My husband-to-be...the one I refuse to marry. I’m pissed. Seriously pissed. And scared that my life is out of my control. I fought against the tears that I was afraid would well up in my eyes.
Then I looked up. Looked closer. Caleb is....good looking. Shit! Not good looking, he’s fucking gorgeous. He had a lighter complexion than Derek, with blond hair peeking out from his hat. He smiled, and I noticed he had one dimple on the right side of his face. It was adorable, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
Derek’s face flashed into my mind, but I willed it away No sense wrestling with too many emotions at once.
My father speaks first, “Anna. This is Caleb.”
I extend my arm politely, to shake Caleb’s hand, and I say, just as my father taught me, “Hello Caleb. I’m Anna. Pleasure to meet you.” He smiled even bigger and I watched his dimple move.
“Nice to meet you, Anna. I’ve heard a lot about you. Your father said you and I can go for a walk. Would you like to join me for a walk, Anna?”
“Sure. Ok. I’ll get my shoes.”
We headed out into the crisp night. I actually didn’t want to be outside. I hate when it’s cold. But, I had no choice. With Papa standing over me, there’s no way I could have denied Caleb’s invitation to a walk.
We headed down the long drive, making simple talk. Caleb then asked me what kind of animals we had. Finally, something I enjoyed talking about. I told him we had chickens, turkeys, goats, a milk cow, couple beef, and two horses to get us around. As we approached the end of the drive, Caleb stopped.
“Instead of walking on the road, how about we go see your animals,” he said.
I shrugged “Ok.” Better than walking aimlessly.
We turned around and headed toward the barn. Our pace picked up a bit, but the conversation did not. As we got closer to the barn, I saw the shed. I couldn’t help but think of the other day. That wonderful day when Derek and I were touching each other. Our breath heavy. Exploring our bodies. The electrifying touches. God, why did Jeb have to barge in!
“Anna? Anna?”
Startled, I’m able to squeeze out, “Yeah?”
“Anna, I asked you which animal is your favorite?”
“Goats. I guess goats are my favorite.”
“Why a goat?”
“I guess because, well...they’re spunky. Unpredictable. Full of life. Kinda like me I guess.”
We entered the barn, to awaken most of the animals. Caleb started talking to the goats. I couldn’t believe it. It made me giggle.
He smiled and even in the dim light of the shed I saw his dimple again. “I like the spunky part too, Anna. Hope I get to see that sometime.”
I looked at Caleb, surprised he had said that. He reached for my hand and we walked out of the shed, to the grassy area behind. The glow of the moon hit his face just right. I was not prepared for what I saw. This genuine, kind, friendly…sexy man. He was different from Derek. But still sexy. I remembered Derek’s muscular tanned body and began to wonder what Caleb’s body looked like under his Amish clothing. Amish clothing is meant to modest. Leaves everything to the imagination.
“You have a beautiful smile, Anna.”
“Um, thanks.”
I felt uneasy. Dating was never my thing. He must think I’m such a fucking prude. Twenty-six fucking years old and acting like an awkward fool.
“What made you move here? Why are you with your Uncle Dave.”
Wasn’t any of my business, but I thought, what the hell. Might as well find out why he’s here.
“Uncle Dave is 91. His health is bad. I came to help finish the harvest. Home nurse is at the house. She says it’s just a matter of days, and Uncle Dave will go meet the Lord.”
“I’m sorry, Caleb. I had not heard of your Uncle’s poor health.”
I felt bad. But, why did I feel bad? I didn’t even know this guy. This guy my father is making me marry.
Would that make Uncle Dave my family too?
